


Always Alone

by SwanQueenUK



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Family, Fingering, Homelessness, Lesbian Sex, Lesbians, Loss, Love, New York, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Smut, slowburn, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:16:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 152,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwanQueenUK/pseuds/SwanQueenUK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>COMPLETE! Their lives could not be more opposite: a high flying corporate lawyer and a homeless ex-convict have nothing in common but when they meet on the streets of New York, their past and their future become more intertwined than either woman could have ever imagined. Slowburn SwanQueen. Trigger warnings for rape and abuse. Rated E for Chapters 14, 17, 19, 22, 25, 30, 38, and 40.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Here it is! My new AU fic. This is the idea which I mentioned towards the end of Dangerous Desires and was the second most popular (Troubled Teachers beat it, obviously). Speaking of which, the epilogue for that will be up shortly … when I’ve written it!
> 
> A few little things: firstly, this is set in the US once more. And yes, sometimes I’m sure British words will slip in and for that I am sorry(ish). Secondly, I’ve been to New York but only once so I’m going off my own experiences, popular culture references, and Google. Thirdly, I have never been homeless, before anyone asks. Nor have I been a lawyer. Any mistakes and inaccuracies are entirely my fault but I hope there won’t be too many. 
> 
> Trigger warning for mentions of rape in this chapter and future ones but the act itself will not be described in any detail. There will be discussions of the aftermath, however.
> 
> Please let me know what you think either by reviewing here or tweeting me at SwanQueenUK.

She shivered and pulled the woollen blanket more firmly around her slender body. The fabric scratched her exposed neck but it was better than being chilled to the bone by the bitter January wind which was whistling through the tunnel. It was late. She wasn’t quite sure what the time was but she knew he’d be there soon. Night had fallen hours before and the darkness was almost impenetrable. A glimmer from street lamps at either end cast long, orange-grey shadows near the entrances but in the middle, where she sat, it was almost black.

She had grown used to the dark long ago. It was simultaneously a place of safety and a place of danger. In the darkness she could remain hidden, away from judging, pitying eyes. She could curl up and try to sleep, although she rarely succeeded. Because the darkness also meant danger. Once, not long after she found herself on the streets, she had woken up to a faceless figure looming over her. She had screamed but his hand had clapped across her mouth before anyone heard her. She was lucky that night. He hadn’t killed her once he had taken what he wanted. Since then, she rarely slept, especially if she was alone. She was always alone.

A rat scurried along the opposite wall, its claws scratching at the gravelly floor. She hated that sound. She heard it pause and then, unmistakably, the grind of teeth nibbling on something hard echoed off the concrete, magnified by the domed roof. If only it were that easy for her to find food. Her stomach grumbled. She hadn’t eaten all day. Perhaps it wasn’t too late to go to the diner, she thought. Maybe there’d be something left over which the friendly waitress might allow her to take. As she considered whether it was worth trying, she heard them. Footsteps.

Sighing, she ran her cold fingers through her hair. It needed a wash. Perhaps tonight the man would permit her to shower before she left the hotel room. He entered the tunnel just as she was struggling to her feet. He leaned against the wall and watched as she bundled her possessions up inside her blanket, secured it all together with a length of twine, and shoved it through the hole in the tunnel wall. Replacing the metal grate, she stood up and turned towards him. His black outline looked even larger than usual against the dim streetlights behind. He waited. Taking a deep breath, she began to walk, forcing herself to place one foot in front of the other. When she was less than two metres away from him, he turned and walked off into the park. She followed.

* * *

“I told you to send copies of that case file to Kathryn on Wednesday,” Regina snapped into her cell. “Do it within the next hour or you’ll be looking for a new job.”

She ended the call and immediately dialled another number, glancing out the tinted window of her town car to gauge where they were. The traffic surrounding her was stationary. They had barely moved a block in the last ten minutes.

“Ruby, I’m so sorry,” she said as soon as her friend answered the phone.

“No problem,” came the cheery reply. “Henry’s fine.”

“I know but it’s an inconvenience when you’re working,” Regina said. “I’m three blocks away but the traffic is a complete nightmare. Are you ok to hold on for another few minutes?”

“It’ll be more than that if you’re in the car,” Ruby said. “They’ve closed the road outside Granny’s. Burst water main or something. Everything is diverted which is probably why you’re stuck. Either way you won’t be driving up here.”

“Damn,” Regina muttered. “Ok, I’ll be with you as soon as I can.”

She hung up again and sighed in frustration. She could feel the good mood she had been in when she left her final meeting ebbing away as the engine whirred pointlessly. They were still sitting on the same patch of tarmac, surrounded by yellow cabs. As she briefly wondered why such a gaudy colour had been chosen in one of the most stylish cities in the world, she rummaged through her purse for her lipstick. Reapplying it in her compact, Regina pouted slightly and fluffed her fingers through her short hair before nodding her satisfaction at her appearance. No one would guess she was coming to the end of a sixty hour week.

“Graham, how much longer do you think we’re going to be?” she asked her driver.

“Hard to say, Ma’am,” came the British reply. “I fear a little while yet.”

Regina looked out of the window through the fading afternoon light. They were less than twenty yards from the end of the block. She leaned forward and surveyed the choice of shoe she had made that morning. Not too high, she supposed.

“I’m going to walk ahead and relieve Ruby before the early dinner rush starts,” she said, making up her mind. “Kindly pull onto 56th Street and then wait for me near Park Avenue. I shouldn’t be long.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Graham nodded.

Regina gathered her purse and opened the door. A motorbike skidded to a halt, millimetres from colliding with her legs as she stood up.

“Watch it!” called an angry voice from beneath a blacked out helmet.

Regina ignored him, slammed the car door, and weaved neatly through the stationary traffic until she reached the sidewalk. She walked briskly, dodging tourists and locals alike who had come to Fifth Avenue that afternoon. She had never understood the appeal herself and was immensely relieved when she turned onto 55th Street and the pedestrians depleted significantly. Her heels clicked rhythmically against the floor as she walked, her coat pulled tightly around her as a freezing headwind started up. She sometimes hated New York in winter. At least it wasn’t snowing, then walking in her high shoes would have been out of the question.

The bell tinkled as she pushed the door to the diner open. Seconds later, a squeal of delight was heard and her son scampered towards her.

“Mama!” he cried, arms outstretched and a wide smile on his face.

“Hello little man,” Regina said, bending down to sweep him into her arms and peppering his face with kisses.

“Stop it, Mama!” Henry giggled as Regina’s fingers began to tickle his chubby stomach.

“Never,” Regina replied, tickling harder.

“He just ate ice cream,” Ruby advised from behind the counter where she was putting on another pot of coffee and watching mother and son.

Regina stopped at once, placing Henry gently on the floor and brushing his floppy brown hair from his hazel eyes.

“Ice cream, eh?” she said, a stern look on her face. “And what about your dinner, young man?”

“I’m still hungry,” Henry insisted, reaching up for his mother’s hand and leading her over to the booth he had clearly been occupying. The table was strewn with colouring pencils and sheets of paper, every one depicting a different version of Henry’s favourite animal.

“Wow! I see you’ve been very busy,” Regina said, picking up one of the pictures of a monkey eating what she believed was intended to be a banana (although it looked more like a bright yellow snake) and admiring it.

“You were late,” Henry said simply, sliding into his seat next to his favourite soft toy monkey, who was named Marlo, and perusing his pencils before selecting a purple one and continuing his latest artwork: an orangutang swinging from a tree covered in multi-coloured fruit.

“Yes, I’m sorry about that, Henry,” Regina said, sitting down opposite her son and trying to ignore the wave of guilt rising within her as she realised he had been waiting for her for over three hours. Regina rarely left her desk as early as she intended on Fridays, despite an agreement with her boss and co-workers that she would do so because of her young son. Ever since Henry had come into her life, she was supposed to finish the working week at midday each Friday. Glancing at the clock in the diner, her stomach twisted again when she realised it was almost five.

“It’s ok,” Henry said. “Did you win your work game?”

Regina smiled. “Yes, I did.”

“Good,” came the simple reply.

At four years old, Henry was too young to understand exactly what a corporate lawyer did but he had learned early on that his mother’s mood depended on whether she ‘won’ or ‘lost’. He also knew that whatever her work game entailed, it meant he spent a lot of time with his Auntie Ruby and he smiled up at the woman herself when she approached their table seconds later.

“How was your day?” Ruby asked, nudging Regina aside with her hip as she slid into the booth beside her best friend and placing a cup of coffee in front of her.

“Long,” Regina said, stifling a yawn as she reached for the much needed caffeinated drink. Without it, she hadn’t a hope of getting through the next few hours before Henry went to bed. “But it’s the weekend now and I’m not thinking about anything work-related until Monday. Or maybe Sunday evening.”

Ruby chuckled. “You work too hard.”

“And you don’t work hard enough,” said Ruby’s grandmother who was passing the table at that moment. “Table Seven needs refills. Stop gossiping. And hello Regina, dear.”

Ruby rolled her eyes at Regina before she stood up, flouncing away towards the table of tourists and greeting them with an elaborate fake smile.

“Can we go home now, Mama?” Henry asked, finishing his picture with a flourish.

“Yes, we can,” Regina nodded. “But we need to walk a little way to the car.”

“Why? Where’s Mr Graham?” Henry asked, collecting up his pencils and stuffing them into the case which lay empty on the table.

“Well, he couldn’t drive up here because of all the water,” Regina explained. “So he’s waiting on the next street.”

“The road looks like a river,” Henry observed, looking out of the window to where a group of workers in waterproof overalls were standing around looking perplexed as to why the street was flooded.

“It does,” Regina nodded. “But the sidewalk is dry so we won’t get our feet wet.”

“I like getting wet feet,” Henry replied.

“Not when it’s as cold as it is out there today. Your toes will turn into icicles.”

Henry laughed. “No they won’t. Don’t be silly, Mama!”

Regina smiled and stood up. She gathered the papers together and slipped them carefully into her son’s bag which was lying on the seat beside him. Henry handed her his pencil case and she put that inside too. Marlo followed. Together they got Henry’s arms into his coat sleeves and buttoned up the front. Henry resisted stubbornly when Regina tried to put his knitted beanie on his head and eventually gave up, putting it in her pocket so she could whip it out easily in a few minutes when he realised his mistake.

“Say goodbye to Auntie Ruby,” she said when they were ready to go at last, Henry’s little backpack slotted neatly over his narrow shoulders.

“Bye, Auntie Ruby!” Henry called across the diner.

“Goodbye, Monkey-Boy,” Ruby grinned back, waving as much as she could with a milkshake in either hand.

Regina waved too, mouthed ‘thanks’, and steered her son out of the diner and onto the street. They set off together, hand in hand. Regina strolled along slowly, allowing Henry more than enough time to admire the road river. At the end of the block, he requested his hat and Regina wordlessly placed it over his windswept hair, suppressing a smug smirk at how well she knew her son.

They crossed Park Avenue easily. Rush hour traffic was at a standstill and both were grateful when they reached the shelter of the eastern side of the street. Henry was chatting away as they walked, telling his mother all about what he and Marlo had done in playgroup that day and how Ruby had allowed him two cherries on his ice cream because of a special monkey drawing he had made just for her. As Regina was making a mental note to speak to her friend about how much sugar her son was eating, Henry tugged on her hand.

“Mama, she looks cold. Can we give her some money?”

“Who?” Regina asked, snapping her attention back to the dusky sidewalk.

It didn’t take her long to realise who her son was talking about. Huddled against the stone wall, blankets tucked carefully beneath her, was a young woman. The top of her blonde head stuck out from the bundle, the hair falling in ragged tendrils over the dirty wool. She looked frozen, her chapped lips almost blue with cold. She was sat in silence, unmoving, seemingly staring at a spot on the sidewalk with rapt concentration. Or boredom. In front of her was a small, chipped bowl. A few quarters lay in the bottom of it.

Regina didn’t usually give money to beggars. She thought it encouraged panhandling and the streets of New York were far too crowded with them already. But there was something about this woman which tugged at her heart. She looked so … pathetic. Regina felt awful for thinking of such a derogatory word but there was no other way to describe her. As she watched, a gust of wind blew some blonde locks of hair over her face, dislodging a corner of the blanket so it flapped for a moment before falling back into place. The woman didn’t even react. She just sat there. Regina herself shivered at the rush of cold air, glad of her warm coat. And scarf. And hat. And gloves.

Reaching into her wallet, she pulled out a couple of dollars and handed them to her son. Henry let go of his mother’s hand and took the notes. As they passed the woman, Henry bent down and placed the money into the bowl.

The woman jumped, startled by sudden appearance of a little face so close to her own. Henry squealed in alarm and tumbled backwards, his bottom landing heavily on the ground.

“Sorry!” the blonde said, struggling to get her arms out from beneath her blanket to help the child up.

“It’s alright,” Regina said smoothly, leaning down to pick up her son and dusting him off. Henry clung tightly to her hand, his eyes still wide with fear.

“Thank you,” the beggar said, reaching out and taking the fluttering notes before they blew away, her thin arms retreating into the vague warmth of the blankets once more.

“You’re welcome,” Regina said, glancing back at the woman.

Her breath hitched. Staring up at her were two bright green eyes, gratitude and despair shining from them in equal measure. She faltered in her step for a moment, unable to tear her gaze away from the pale, grimy face. The skin was sallow, clinging to the high cheek bones, and there were dark circles under both her sunken eyes. Her lips were split and dry from the cold weather. Her neck was scrawny, the veins and muscles visible through the papery skin. Regina couldn’t help the pitying look which flashed across her features before she schooled her face into a small smile. Henry’s hand pulling her forward reminded her where she was and all at once Regina turned her head back the way they were going, marching quickly down the sidewalk with Henry hurrying to keep up beside her.

* * *

“Bloody hell,” Ruby hissed as she stepped out into the dark alley behind the diner.

It was quite literally freezing outside, icicles forming on the edge of the dumpster as she lifted the lid and prepared to heave the refuse bag into it.

“Got anything to spare?”

Ruby looked around at the timid voice and smiled when she saw a blonde head poking out from behind the wall.

“Evening,” she said, putting the bag back on the floor and wiping her hands on her jeans. “How are you?”

“Cold,” came the simple reply as the young woman walked further into the alleyway. “And hungry.”

“Right,” Ruby nodded.

Their interactions always consisted of few words and Ruby said no more as she opened the bag and picked out a few of the bread rolls which Granny had told her to throw away. She handed them over at once before reaching back inside to find the bruised apples she knew were lurking near the top. The beggar stuffed the bread into her pockets and watched as the brunette ferreted around for her.

“Thank you,” she said when Ruby handed over several red apples. They were browned in places but definitely edible.

“No problem,” Ruby assured, tying the top of the bag closed again.

“Here.” She thrust two crumpled dollar bills forwards, gesturing for Ruby to take them.

“Don’t be silly,” Ruby said. “This stuff is just going to go to waste anyway. Keep your money. Spend it on something warm.”

“I’m not a charity case,” the young woman said, a slight bite in her tone.

“I never said you were,” Ruby placated. “But I’m not going to charge you for a few old apples and some stale bread.”

“Can … can I get a coffee then?” the blonde asked.

“Um, sure,” Ruby nodded. “Do you want to come inside? We’re closed but you can sit down whilst I make it and warm up a little.”

A hesitant nod was all Ruby needed. She smiled, tossed the rest of the garbage away and led the young woman back into the diner. Granny was in her office, doing the books, and didn’t notice the homeless girl traipsing through to the front of the restaurant.

“Take a seat,” Ruby said, ducking behind the counter and fiddling with the machines. “I assume you want decaf since it’s so late?”

“No, proper coffee please,” came the reply.

“Oh, ok,” Ruby nodded, getting started on the drink.

The blonde had slid into a booth, sitting cautiously on the edge of the seat as if she was wary of dirtying the red faux-leather covers. She glanced around, taking in the dark diner before her eyes settled on watching Ruby work. The brunette turned around less than a minute later, a large takeaway cup held in her hand.

“Here,” she said, placing it on the table in front of the blonde who immediately wrapped her hands around the warm container. The bare skin was scratched and dirty, fingernails chipped and poorly cared for. As Ruby watched, she took a sip of the hot liquid, barely suppressing a moan as the welcome heat hit her mouth.

“What’s your name?” Ruby asked, sliding into the seat across from the woman. “I’m Ruby.”

“I’m … I’ve got to go,” the blonde said, standing up at once. “Thanks for this.”

She tossed the two dollars onto the table and headed out towards the alley. Ruby picked up the money and followed her, intending to give it back, but the blonde didn’t stop and by the time she had reached the outside, she had disappeared.

* * *

The park was quiet, as it always was so late at night. She chose the better lit route towards the tunnel, deciding she would rather be able to see potential threats than remain hidden from those potentially threatening her. She walked quickly, the apples and bread rolls making her pockets bulge and her stomach ache with hunger. A wild goose screeched overhead, making her jump. She was flightier than usual that day. Perhaps it was because the last time she had slept was seven nights ago. At least she was guaranteed some sleep later, she mused.

He was there when she arrived, leaning against the wall and fast asleep. She smiled as she entered the tunnel and walked over to the grate. Kneeling down, she removed the metal bars and pulled out her bundle of measly possessions. Two blue eyes watched her as she untied the twine, shook out the blanket and wrapped it around herself.

“Oh, you’re awake,” the blonde said, turning around and seeing the eyes glinting at her through the darkness.

“You woke me,” the man replied.

There was a short laugh before the young woman settled herself on the ground. She pulled out the bread rolls and tossed two to the far side of the tunnel. They were both caught and one eagerly bitten into.

“Thanks,” he said through a mouthful of much needed food.

“You’re welcome,” she smiled, taking a bite of her own roll as she did so. “You’re staying with me tonight?”

“Yes,” the man nodded.

“Good.”

“Not been sleeping?” he asked.

“You know I haven’t,” she replied. “August, where were you?”

The man had reappeared in front of the blonde on Park Avenue earlier that afternoon but they hadn’t had a chance to talk about his week-long absence. She had been stunned by his presence and anger had bubbled inside her. She had sent him away, telling him to meet her at their usual place later that night. She knew he’d come. He owed her an explanation, after all. She had spent the rest of the afternoon in a sort of daze, trying to work out why her friend had abandoned her. She was used to being abandoned but she had started to allow herself to believe that maybe, just maybe, August was different. It seemed she was wrong.

August sighed and wiped his face with the back of his hand. Crumbs fell from his straggly beard into his lap and he picked them up, popping them into his mouth.

“I … needed time,” August replied eventually. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you ok now?” she asked, her concern eclipsing her anger towards her friend when she registered his tired, pained tone.

“Better,” August nodded. “Emma, I’m sorry I left you. I really am.”

“I’m just glad you came back,” Emma shrugged. “I’m used to being alone, August, but these past few months I’d gotten used to being with you. I don’t want it to be just me again.”

“I couldn’t stay,” August said. “I needed to get my shit together.”

“And I couldn’t have helped you?” Emma said, a little annoyed.

“No,” August said, shaking his head. “I’m sorry Ems but you know when … when it happens, I have to be alone.”

Emma slumped back against the wall of the tunnel and sighed. She did know. Not from first hand experience but from what August had told her. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was different for every sufferer but as an army veteran, August needed to take himself away from people, away from a place where every noise, every movement became a threat. New York City transformed into a battleground, soldiers and attacks coming from every angle.

“Where did you go?” Emma asked.

“Connecticut.”

“How?”

“Bus. I snuck into the cargo hold just before they began loading the luggage. Bloody hot down there I can tell you,” August said, remembering the stifling heat from the engine as the road bumped beneath him.

“I’d rather that than freezing my tits off in the city,” Emma chuckled. “I swear to God my butt was stuck to the sidewalk with cold this afternoon.”

August laughed. “Well, at least it’s warmer down here.” He gestured to the tunnel the two of them had become accustomed to sleeping in.

“Yeah and now you’re back I might actually be able to take advantage of that and get some sleep,” Emma said.

“I’m sorry,” August repeated. “Come here.”

Emma did so, shuffling along the floor of the tunnel, dragging her blankets with her until she crawled beneath August’s own nest. The smell had stopped bothering her long ago. Or perhaps she smelt just as bad. Either way, she didn’t notice as she curled into his side and sighed deeply.

“I’m glad you’re back,” Emma said, reaching up and passing him an apple.

“I’m glad I’m back too,” August said, placing a gentle kiss to the top of Emma’s head before he began to eat again.

Emma did sleep that night. Or as much as she ever slept, at least. Half and hour here, an hour there, until the weak dawn light filtered down into the tunnel and the sound of early morning joggers reached her ears. Untangling herself from a still-sleeping August, Emma yawned and rubbed her eyes. The image from her latest dream remained, burned into her memory. A timid-looking boy, clutching tightly to his mother’s slender hand, the two staring down at her for the briefest moment before they were gone, swept away along the New York streets.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thanks for all the positive responses. I will reply to them all in due course! And apologies for the delayed update. I was away for the weekend but really wanted to get up what I had written before I went. As previous readers of my work will know, I usually try to publish almost daily.
> 
> Also, I just finished watching the season finale and OH MY GOD!

Regina rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. She closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair, thinking. A frown creased her forehead as no discernible legal loophole came to mind and she reluctantly cracked one eye opened and focused on the computer screen in front of her. The case information stared back at her, tauntingly. She turned away and looked out of her office window. The western facing wall was completely made of glass and she smiled as she watched the snow falling thickly outside. She could barely see the other side of the street as the flakes tumbled over each other in a bid to reach the white road below first. Regina smiled at the thought of rushing through her workload, wrapping up this infuriating case, and going home with her son. Henry loved the snow.

A knock on her door offered a momentary distraction from the brick wall she was trying to break through. Calling out ‘enter,’ Regina looked expectantly at her assistant as she backed into the room with a coffee in one hand, a take-away container in the other, and a stack of papers under her arm.

“They didn’t have any prawns so I got you the cous cous salad instead,” Mary Margaret said as she placed the food down on Regina’s desk, the coffee landing beside it. “And here are those files Mrs Mills mentioned.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, taking the pile of papers and glancing quickly at the handwritten note stuck to the top of them. “Did you hear back from Gold and Locksley?”

“Not yet,” Mary Margaret said, shaking her head.

“Let me know as soon as you do,” she ordered, prising the lid off the food and trying not to snap at her assistant. It wasn’t her fault the restaurant were incapable of ordering the right stock nor that she was waiting to receive a response from another lawyer before she could move forward in the case.

Regina took a sip of her coffee before turning her attention to her food. She was about to eat when she Mary Margaret was still hovering in front of the desk. Regina placed her fork down, looking up expectantly.

“What?”

“Um, I was just wondering if you had had a chance to approve the two weeks of leave I requested,” the brunette said, her hands wringing together nervously. “It’s just that David and I need to book our flights for the honeymoon but we don’t want to do that until we know if I can definitely go.”

“Yes, I have,” Regina nodded, reaching into her desk drawer and pulling out the piece of paper. She hadn’t deliberately not told her assistant that she had approved her leave weeks ago. It had just … slipped her mind. Repeatedly.

“Thank you,” Mary Margaret said, a wide smile across her face.

“You’re welcome,” Regina replied. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind.” She gestured to her lunch and Mary Margaret nodded once before scuttling from the room.

Regina huffed out a sigh when the door closed behind the pixie haired brunette and turned her attention back to her computer. As the first forkful reached her lips, a vague memory of a little known law floated into her mind. She smiled as she realised she could, and would, win the case.

* * *

August pressed the button on the side of his watch which illuminated the face and frowned at the numbers glowing in the dark. It was after two in the morning. Emma should have been back over an hour ago. He listened intently but only the usual sounds of the park at night filtered down into the tunnel. He wondered whether he should have tried to talk her out of going, whether it would be his fault if anything happened. Just as he was trying to work out what he would do if Emma didn’t come back, footsteps sounded.

Emma trudged heavily into the tunnel, shaking the snow from the toes of her boots and grumbling about the cold. She slid beneath the blanket August was holding out for her and shivered exaggeratedly.

“You’re late,” August remarked as he tucked the blanket back around both of their bodies.

“Sorry,” Emma said. “He said I could have a shower but then I wanted to dry my hair so I didn’t get hypothermia. Were you worried?”

“You know I’m always worried when you’re with him,” August replied. “Em, do you really have to keep doing this?”

Wordlessly, Emma handed over the twenty dollar bill she had been given just before she left the hotel room. She wasn’t proud of what she had done and she certainly didn’t want to be doing it. But she knew that without the man’s money, she wouldn’t be able to survive.

August took the note, folded it carefully, and tucked it inside his jacket pocket. His arm slid around Emma’s shoulder and tugged her closer to his body. She smelt good; her hair was fresh and shiny.

“It’s once a week August,” Emma said quietly. “He’s a nice enough guy and he doesn’t hurt me. It’s not like I’m standing on street corners any more.”

Any more.

The pair rarely spoke about how they had met. Emma didn’t like to think about that night and August didn’t want to bring up painful memories for his friend. Both of them were simply grateful he had been passing the end of the alleyway and had heard her cried for help. Ever since then, the two of them had had each other’s backs and Emma had stopped her late night work. Except for this one man. It wasn’t that she liked him and she certainly didn’t enjoy the sex. But he had been a regular client of hers and when she had bumped into him several weeks after she had disappeared from the street, they had come to an arrangement. Once a week. That was all. And it meant Emma could buy food and keep herself just a little warmer.

“Any plans for tomorrow?” August asked, moving the conversation on from the uncomfortable subject.

“I’m going to head down to Fifth Avenue in the morning,” Emma said. “It’s still super crowded because of all the sales on after Christmas. I got stepped on so many times last week and barely got any money but it’s pretty sheltered and there’s a doorway which the snow hasn’t filled up yet. What about you?”

“I’ve got a meeting,” August said.

“A meeting?” Emma frowned. “Who with?”

“An old army buddy,” the man shrugged.

“How did he find you?” Emma asked. Homeless people moved a lot and with no mobile phones, they were notoriously difficult to keep track of. Aside from one another, Emma and August didn’t have any other connections within the city. At least, Emma thought August didn’t.

August shifted slightly, trying and failing to find a comfortable position on the hard tunnel floor. “He’s on the streets too. We used to hang out together before I met you and I went over to that corner of town yesterday to see if he was still there.”

“It’s sad how our country don’t take care of their servicemen,” Emma said, squeezing August’s gloved hand which was dangling over her shoulder. “You offered up your lives and then as soon as you’re not fit to serve, you’re dropped from the system, left to fend for yourself.”

“Yeah, well, what are you going to do about it?” August said. He sounded defeated, like he had resigned himself to the fact that his life has become, and would always be, the streets.

“We’ll get through this, August,” Emma assured him. “You and me. We’re not going to be living out here forever, I promise you.”

“Yeah?” August sighed. “And just how are we going to do that. You’ve said it before Em. No one wants to hire an army vet with PTSD or an ex-con. We’re never going to get jobs so we’re never going to have enough money for rent. This tunnel is our home.”

“For now,” Emma nodded. “But we will get work eventually. I just … I need to find someone who will give me a chance. I’m going to ask around tomorrow actually. The shower this evening will make me look at least somewhat presentable and I found that white shirt last weekend. Someone will have a pot-washing job or something going.”

August didn’t reply. He loved Emma’s optimism but it wasn’t something he shared. After almost two years on the streets, he had already accepted his new lifestyle. He hated it, true, but he could no longer see a way out. Emma had been homeless for seven months and still believed it was possible to turn her life around. August hoped the young blonde was right, but he was doubtful. He didn’t voice this however and instead the two of them snuggled closer, drifting off to sleep as snow continued to fall.

* * *

“Can we build a snowman when we get home?” Henry asked excitedly as Regina helped him wriggle his fingers into his gloves.

“Perhaps,” Regina nodded. “But you have to promise you’ll have a hot bath as soon as we’ve finished because I don’t want you getting sick.”

Henry grumbled but nodded. Baths were not his favourite. However, the fact that is mother had picked him up almost on time that day meant he was in a very amenable mood. A bath was a small price to pay in exchange spending most of Friday afternoon with his mother and building a snowman.

When he was all wrapped up, Regina picked up his bag and put it on his back. They waved farewell to Ruby and left the restaurant. Henry walked carefully down the snowy streets, kicking up sludgy white clods as Regina held tightly to his hand. Her heels had been tucked into her handbag and on her feet were a pair of rarely-worn trainers. They did not go with her Prada suit but neither did landing on her ass in the middle of the street so she had foregone fashion for the sake of staying upright. The road outside Granny’s was still flooded, the recent snow having halted work all together, so Regina and Henry traced over what was already a familiar route up to 56th Street where Graham and the town car were waiting for them.

“Mama, what happens to the people with no homes when it snows?” Henry asked.

Regina knew why he had asked her that question. They were passing the exact same spot on Park Avenue as they had the previous week, where the blonde woman with striking green eyes had been huddled. Neither of them had mentioned the beggar to each other until that moment but Regina had been keeping an eye out for her every day since then. It seemed her son had too.

“I’m not quite sure,” Regina admitted. “There are shelters they can go to and get beds for the night and some food. But I’m afraid a lot of them have to sleep outside.”

“Don’t they get cold?” Henry asked, his own pale face turned up towards his mother’s.

“I’m sure they do,” Regina nodded. “Especially when it’s snowing.”

“I wouldn’t want to be homeless,” Henry mused.

“I don’t think they want to be homeless either.”

“Then why are they?” Henry asked. “Don’t they have families they can live with?”

“Sometimes they do,” Regina nodded. “But sometimes they don’t want to live with them. Their families might not be very nice. And sometimes they might not have anyone to look after them.”

“They might not have a family?” Henry frowned. That didn’t make sense. Everyone had a mom and a dad, didn’t they?

“No,” Regina said. “Sometimes people don’t have anyone to love them.”

Henry was silent for a minute, his gaze fixed on the sidewalk. “That’s sad,” he said after a long pause.

“Yes,” Regina nodded, remembering the hauntingly despairing gaze of the blonde beggar. “Yes it is.”

* * *

Emma tried hard not to slam the door when she left the twentieth restaurant who had turned her down. She rubbed her freezing hands together and glanced up and down the road, wondering where to try next. It was almost dark and the streets were full of busy commuters, slipping and sliding their way to the nearest subway entrance. She turned to the right and headed towards the place she had been avoiding all day.

She didn’t know quite why she hadn’t gone there yet. Perhaps it was because the restaurant was the one place she thought she might actually have a chance at getting work. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to work, however. She did. But she wanted to get the job because they wanted and needed her, not because they felt sorry for her. She hated that pitying look she had seen in the eyes of so many people that day, just before their features hardened and she was turned down.

Granny’s was busy, the bright light spilling out onto the sidewalk and several waitresses moving quickly between packed tables. Knowing that the dinner rush was not going to be the best time to ask for work, Emma stepped into the narrow alleyway which ran down the side of the building and leaned against the wall. The wind died down as she did so and the overhang of the building protected her from the worst of the snowfall. She slid down until she was sitting and pulled out a packet of crisps. August had come to see her on Fifth Avenue that afternoon and had given her some of the food he had bought for them. They always ate well on Fridays, after Emma had … worked. Well, except for last week when Emma had spent the money on a new blanket. The old one was becoming almost unbearably dirty and smelly.

Slowly, the noise from the diner quietened and the regular tinkling of the bell told Emma people were leaving. When a particularly large group of patrons passed the end of the alley, she pushed herself to her feet. Wiping the snow from her hair and the crumbs from her shirt, Emma took a deep breath before stepping out into the street and pushing open the diner door.

The place was almost empty, as she had hoped, and she quickly spotted the friendly waitress wiping down a table in the far corner. The grey-haired woman behind the counter looked at her with distain before holding out a menu. Customers were customers, after all.

“Um, no thanks,” Emma said, approaching the counter and sliding herself onto one of the stools. “I’ve actually come here to ask if you have any jobs available.”

She had hoped to speak to Ruby herself but was quickly realising that she had overlooked the fact that Granny’s was probably not run by the lanky young waitress.

“A job?” Grey eyebrows raised sceptically. “I’m afraid we don’t need anyone at the moment.”

Emma doubted that was the truth but wasn’t going to argue. So she thanked the older woman for her time, climbed off the chair and headed for the door.

“Hey!”

The call made her turn around. Ruby was walking towards her, a wide grin on her face. Emma smiled shyly back. She didn’t exactly have friends, aside from August, but she liked the brunette. She just wished they had met under different circumstances. Rummaging through a dumpsters wasn’t the best first impression. It had been five months since Ruby had caught her with her head in the diner’s garbage and offered her some of the leftover bread. Emma tried not to come back too often but when her money ran out, she sometimes had no choice.

“Hi,” Emma said, as Ruby reached her, the dishcloth tossed carelessly onto another empty table.

“What are you doing in here?” she asked. There was no bite in her tone but Emma bristled all the same. It sounded to her like the brunette didn’t think she belonged in the customer side of the restaurant.

“Sorry, I’ll leave,” Emma said, turning hastily towards the door.

“Shit, no that came out wrong,” Ruby said, reaching out and catching Emma’s arm.

The blonde flinched and pulled away. Ruby’s eyes widened at the reaction but she drew back her outstretched hand.

“Sorry,” Ruby said. “I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean you weren’t welcome here. I just … usually see you out the back.”

“Yeah, well, I came to ask if you had any work going,” Emma replied. “I’m trying to get my life back together.”

Ruby smiled widely at her. “Well as luck would have it, one of our kitchen boys quit this week. Granny,” she said, turning the the older woman who had clearly been listening to the conversation, “have you replaced Jamie yet?”

“I have interviews tomorrow,” Granny replied quickly. “There are several candidates.”

“Can -,” Ruby turned back to the blonde, realising she still didn’t know her name.

“Emma,” she admitted at last.

Ruby grinned. “Can Emma interview too?”

Granny scowled. She had never been able to deny her only granddaughter anything, not after her mother had passed away when Ruby was just a child.

“Ok,” Granny replied. “But I’m not doing her any favours. She’ll have to win the job fair and square.”

“Of course,” Emma said. “Thank you.”

Granny pursed her lips, looked the woman up and down, and retreated into the back store room. Ruby turned back to Emma and smiled.

“I’m sure you’ll be great. Granny seems harsh but she’s a softie really.”

“Thanks,” Emma said, smiling weakly. She wasn’t feeling confident. She hadn’t had a job interview since she had been released from prison and then it was with companies who employed recent parolees. Now, however, she’d have to disclose her criminal record and then convince the older woman that she was going to be a good worker.

“Have you got something to wear?” Ruby asked.

“Just this,” Emma said, gesturing to the shirt and jeans she was sporting.

Ruby grimaced, her eyes drifting to the faint stain on the right shirt sleeve, the missing button and the ripped jeans.

“Come half an hour early and I’ll get you something to change into,” Ruby said. “Meet me out the back at eight thirty?”

“Thanks,” Emma said.

“You’re welcome,” Ruby smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Emma.”

The blonde grinned back and turned to leave the diner, huddling over as soon as the cold wind hit her and hurrying down the street and towards the park.

* * *

“No, mother, I told you last week that Locksley is representing Carter and Sons,” Regina sighed, trapping the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she placed a bowl of fruit in front of Henry.

“And you still haven’t reached an agreement?” came the snapped reply Regina was so used to hearing.

“No,” Regina replied. “You know he’s never going to cut a deal with me.”

The scathing look the older Mills was inevitably wearing was almost audible through the cell phone.

“You have no one to blame but yourself,” Cora Mills said. “If you’d only consented to the marriage our law offices would be working together, not fighting opposing sides of cases.”

“I’m not going to marry someone to make our work easier,” Regina sighed. She wasn’t going to have this argument. Not again.

“Just make sure we settle this case out of court,” Cora said. “This company is worth millions.”

“Yes, mother,” Regina said just as Henry waved his arms in her direction. “I’m sorry, I have to go. Henry’s just finished his dinner.”

She hung up and tossed her cell onto the counter. It skidded across the shining marble and clattered into the sink. She swore quietly and picked it up, grateful that the dishwater had all disappeared, and wiped a few lingering bubbles from the case.

“Mama?” Henry asked, knowing something was wrong but not sure what.

“Sorry, Henry,” Regina said, crossing the kitchen to her son and hoisting out of his chair and placing him on the floor. “Are you sure you don’t want any more?”

“No, thank you,” he said, turning and padding through to the adjoining living room.

Regina scooped up the bowl and popped one of the remaining grapes into her mouth. She quickly washed up and then followed the young boy who she found sat on his bean bag, thumb in mouth and book in hand. Marlo was tucked under one arm.

“Can you read us this please?” Henry said, holding out a book. Unsurprisingly, it was about a monkey.

“Of course,” Regina nodded, taking the book and settling herself on her own bean bag beside her son.

If any of her clients could see Regina at home, they would barely recognise her. The expensive designer suits and the severe eye make up were gone as soon as she stepped over the threshold to her penthouse loft. In their place that evening she wore soft tracksuit bottoms, a long sleeved t-shirt, and thick, fluffy socks. Her face was bare of make up and her jewellery discarded hours earlier. Henry had tugged on her earrings one too many times and she’d quickly learnt to remove them as soon as they got home. That particular evening, the two Mills had changed into their ski-wear before going outside to the communal garden and constructing a snow monkey. Well, that’s what Henry claimed it was anyway. Once they were both frozen to the bone, they’d returned to the house where Henry had begrudgingly had his bath, half-soaking Regina in the process.

Now his belly was contentedly full of lasagne and fruit, and sleep was creeping up fast. As Regina began to read, Henry leaned into his mother until at last he crawled into her lap, curling up and looking at the pictures as she read the accompanying words. Before she reached the end, his eyes were already closing.

“Bed time, little man?” Regina asked as she finished the book and looked down to see her son’s eyes opening blearily.

Unusually, Henry nodded his agreement and allowed his mother to move him off her lap so she could stand. Once upright, she lifted Henry into her arms. His hair was almost dry from his earlier bath and he smelled sweet. She loved that smell. Regina carried him carefully though the loft and into his dark bedroom. Flicking on the bedside lamp, Regina laid her sleeping son in his bed and drew the covers up to his chin.

“Goodnight my little prince,” Regina murmured, pressing her lips to the crown of his head.

She backed out of the room and closed the door. Running her hand through her hair, she sighed before heading to the kitchen. If she was going to work out a deal with Robin Locksley, she was going to need some wine.

* * *

“Have you ever worked in a kitchen before?” Granny asked, leaning on the edge of the counter.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “I worked at a few restaurants during high school.”

“References?”

Emma shook her head. She highly doubted any of the places she had worked at for a few months at most would remember her from over five years ago. She wasn’t particularly memorable. Unless she was doing something wrong. Then people tended not to forget Emma Swan.

“Last job?”

“I was working for a company in Tallahassee as an administrator, but I left a few months ago.”

“And I don’t suppose you have references from them?”

“No,” Emma said. She didn’t think asking her former employer for a reference was going to help in any way with getting this job.

Granny pursed her lips and tapped her pen against the counter. She regarded the woman before her, noting as she did so that the shirt and pencil skirt she was wearing looked suspiciously like items Ruby owned. Emma was sitting on a bar stool, hands coiled in her lap but the fidgeting fingers still evident. Her hair had been scraped back into a loose braid and her face was taut with nerves. Granny could tell that this interview and possible job meant a great deal to Emma. She just didn’t know if she was willing to take on the inevitable drama she could sense surrounding the young woman.

“And you say you don’t have a CV or social security number?” Granny frowned.

“I don’t have a computer,” Emma said. “But I could write down my school history and the job stuff if you give me a pad and pen?”

“And the social security number?” Granny asked.

“I … forgot it,” Emma lied.

“Are you legal?” Granny said, her eyes narrowed. She knew Emma wasn’t telling her the truth and she sure as hell didn’t want immigration sniffing around. That had happened before and it had been a nightmare.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “I was born in Maine.”

“But worked in Tallahassee and now you’re in New York?”

“I haven’t found a place a like yet,” Emma shrugged. “But I’m planning on staying here for a while.”

“Criminal record?”

Emma’s heart skipped a beat. “No.”

“Anything else you think I might need to know?”

“I’m a hard worker, a fast learner, and I don’t complain,” Emma said. “I appreciate I’m not the typical bus-boy but I really, really need this job if I want to get my life back together. And that’s what I’m trying to do. I want a better life and the only way to do that is through hard, honest work.”

Granny listened before glancing down at her notepad again. The other applicants had been dismal. Spotty teenagers with a lazy attitude and no experience. She hated to admit it but the woman sat before her, with scruffy shoes and dirt under her fingernails was her best option.

“I can’t have you on the books,” Granny said. “Not if you don’t have a social security number.”

“I know,” Emma nodded. “That’s fine.”

“Five dollars an hour. It’s under minimum wage but since you don’t have a social security and you’re not on the books I can pay you as I see fit. You’ll be paid cash in hand at the end of every shift.”

The fact that she’d be working for so little didn’t matter and Emma’s face split into a wide grin. “Great! Perfect. Thank you so much for this Mrs Lucas.”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

“I won’t,” Emma said, still smiling ear to ear as the older woman walked back towards her office and left Emma alone to celebrate.

“Congratulations!” Ruby said from behind her. “I knew she’d like you.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Emma said as she turned towards the brunette. “But I guess she’s giving me a chance and that’s all I can ask for.”

“You’ll be great,” Ruby assured her. “After all, cleaning tables and washing pots isn’t exactly rocket science.”

“Emma,” Granny said, sticking her head out from her office. “You’ll need to be here at six tomorrow morning. Clean yourself up and don’t be late.”

“Yes, Mrs Lucas,” Emma nodded. “I won’t let you down.”

Granny’s dubious face disappeared and as soon as it did, Emma turned to Ruby. “Can I borrow an alarm clock?”


	3. Chapter 3

Emma bounced nervously on the balls of her feet, waiting. It was dark. The streets had been almost empty as she walked towards the diner. August had sleepily wished her luck when she left the tunnel and Emma knew she needed it. She tugged self consciously at her clothes. The shirt was the one she had borrowed from Ruby but the trousers, a pair of black slacks, had been acquired at a thrift shop the previous afternoon. She just hoped they would be acceptable until she had enough money to buy some more.

The sound of a key turning in the lock made Emma jump and she stood up a little straighter as the back door opened.

“Morning,” Ruby said, rubbing her eyes as she peered into the alleyway and spotted Emma.

“Morning,” Emma replied, stepping into the welcome warmth of the diner and closing the door against the early morning chill. “How are you?”

“Tired,” Ruby replied. “And hungover.”

Emma laughed and followed the brunette into the kitchen. The lights flickered into life and she glanced around the large, stainless steel room.

“So, this is it,” Ruby said. “Dishwasher, sink, and then the usual kitchen stuff. You just need to make sure you keep on top of the plates as you clear and put everything back where it goes. The chef gets really pissy if he can’t find his spatula.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Emma asked with a chuckle but Ruby just yawned. “Wow, you’re really not a morning person are you?”

“No,” Ruby said. “But Granny said I needed to show you the ropes so here I am. As compensation I get this afternoon off.”

“Speaking of which, what time do I finish?”

“Two thirty,” Ruby said. “We work eight hour shifts here. You get two five minute breaks and a half hour one but because you’re working over the lunch hour, we’d like you to take it before midday if possible.” Emma nodded her understanding. “The lunch break is unpaid but we get a fifty per cent discount on food and we usually eat out here,” Ruby continued, opening the door to a tiny staff room, littered with abandoned clothes, old chairs, and outdated magazines. A row of lockers on the far wall each held a faded sticker with an employee’s name. “Questions?”

“Is there a uniform?” Emma asked. She didn’t want to have to constantly borrow Ruby’s clothes and she had seen the tiny Granny’s emblem stitched onto Ruby’s breast pocket.

“Oh yeah,” Ruby said, reaching behind the door of the staff room and tugging several white shirt out. “Find a few that fit and take ‘em with you.”

Emma did so and stepped towards the lockers. Pausing when she realised she didn’t know which ones were in use, she turned questioningly to Ruby.

“Take Jamie’s,” she said, pointing to one on the far right hand side.

Emma nodded and put two of her new shirts in the empty locker. She then unbuttoned the one of Ruby’s she was wearing and slipped the third one on. Buttoning it up, she turned and smiled at the brunette who was still standing in the doorway.

“What happened?”

Shit. In all the excitement of actually having a job, of being about to start work, and listening to Ruby’s instructions, she had completely forgotten. Even August didn’t know about the scars on her back. A few of her former clients may have seen or touched the jagged, puckered skin, but none of them had commented. Emma looked away from Ruby’s gaze, concern and disgust emanating in equal measure.

“Emma?” Ruby said, her voice softer as she watched the blonde slowly sinking into a chair.

“Bad foster family,” she whispered. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to see them.”

“It’s … it’s ok,” Ruby said. “I mean, it’s not ok. It’s clearly horrible that someone did … that to you. But it’s ok. I … I don’t think any differently of you or anything and -,”

She trailed off, knowing just by the blank expression on the blonde’s face that she wasn’t listening to the ramble spilling from her lips. Emma was staring at the wall, lost in past memories. Slowly, Ruby backed out of the staffroom and closed the door.

* * *

Henry squealed in delight as he raced around the couch, his tiny feet thundering across the carpet as his mother followed him. Regina was crouched over, hands outstretched towards the small boy and her face snarling and snapping.

“No! Mama, no!” Henry cried as tickling fingers landed on his sides and a mouth chomped near his ear.

“Yum, yum, yum!” Regina laughed as she pulled the squirming boy into her arms. “Henrys are my favourite food. And this one is extra delicious because he ate all of his peas at lunch time.”

Henry giggled harder as Regina’s tickling intensified, her face buried into the crook of his neck as she continued to pretend to eat him. Eventually, she stopped, lying on the floor of the living room and groaning as Henry climbed onto her chest and sat there, grinning down at her.

“Again!” he insisted.

“We can’t,” Regina said. “We’re meeting Auntie Kathryn and Auntie Ruby, remember?”

“At Granny’s?” Henry asked, bouncing up and down on Regina and causing the brunette to have to gasp for breath.

“Yes,” she nodded, tapping her son’s leg and indicating that he needed to get off her before she suffocated. “Auntie Ruby has the afternoon free so we’re all going to go to Central Park.”

“Can I have pie?”

Regina furrowed her brow and pretended to think deeply. Henry pouted his rosy lips and opened his hazel eyes as wide as they would go. Regina smirked.

“I suppose so, since you’ve been so good all morning and you did finish all of your lunch.”

“Yay!” Henry cheered, racing out of the room.

Regina sat up and ran her fingers through her tousled hair. Glancing at her watch, she realised she needed to get ready and make herself presentable before meeting her friends. As she passed Henry’s room on the way to her own, she saw him already tugging on an extra sweater, his boots and coat tugged from the cupboard and laid on the floor. She sometimes couldn’t believe he was growing up so fast. Entering her own room, she pulled off her sweatpants, tossed her t-shirt onto the bed, and started to look for something nice yet warm to wear.

Half an hour later an impeccably dressed Regina and well wrapped up Henry walked through the door to Granny’s, the bell tinkling in welcome.

“Auntie Ruby!” Henry called out, waving at the brunette who was stood behind the counter cutting a piece of pie.

“Hey, Henry,” Ruby grinned, waving as Henry slid into his usual booth and Regina followed him. “Apple or blueberry?”

“Blueberry please,” Henry replied.

Ruby saluted the small boy and placed a plate with slab of pie down in front of another customer. Regina helped Henry remove his coat and gloves before settling back against the bench and checking her cell.

“Auntie Kat is running late,” Regina said. No surprises there, she thought as she slipped her iPhone back into her bag.

“Ok,” Henry replied, kneeling up and shuffling over to the window where he pressed his nose to the glass and watched the workers who were shovelling snow away from their construction site. His breath fogged up the space through which he peered but he didn’t seem to notice or care.

Ruby collapsed into his vacated seat seconds later, two plates landing heavily on the table. Regina raised an eyebrow at the slightly dishevelled appearance her best friend and couldn’t help but smirk. Ruby’s hangovers were always bad.

“Don’t judge me,” Ruby groaned. “It wasn’t planned.”

“It never is with you,” Regina said, tugging her plate of apple pie towards her and pushing Henry’s over to the end of the table where he was still leaning, despite the appearance of food. “What happened?”

“Dot’s back,” Ruby replied. “She arrived late last night from Kansas and came straight here. We … celebrated and then stayed up drinking.”

Regina chuckled. She could see beneath the tired eyes and the slumped position, a doe-eyed look on Ruby’s face which only her girlfriend could produce. Dorothy, or Dot for short, and Ruby had been together for almost two years and despite her job regularly taking her out of state for long periods of time Ruby was still head over heels in love.

“Mama,” Henry said, the word muffled through a mouthful of pie after he had finally realised the treat had arrived. Regina looked disapprovingly at him and he dutifully swallowed before continuing. “Can we go to the zoo?”

“I thought you wanted to make another snow-monkey?” Regina frowned, tugging several napkins from the dispenser and sliding them down the table towards Henry, whose face was already covered in purple juice.

“I do,” Henry nodded. “But I also want to see the lemurs. And maybe the penguins too. I bet they like it now it’s snowing and cold.”

Regina sighed. “Ok, if we have time.”

“Not a fan of the zoo?” Ruby asked, noting Regina’s lack of enthusiasm at the addition to the afternoon’s itinerary.

“There are snakes in the same area as the lemurs,” she said with a grimace. “Henry drags me there far too often for my liking but I still haven’t conquered my fear. Pretty sure immersion therapy doesn’t work for me.”

Ruby laughed as Regina picked up her fork and began to eat her apple pie. Both plates had been cleared and Henry’s berry-stained face wiped clean again before Kathryn Nolan finally swept into the diner, a flurry of snow landing on the tiled floor as she did so.

“Took you long enough,” Regina mock scolded as the blonde woman slid into the booth beside her and reached for a sip of Regina’s own coffee.

“I was working,” Kathryn argued. “Unlike some people, I don’t have the luxury of a weekend off. Hi Henry,” she added, waving at the boy who was grinning widely at her. As far as Henry was concerned, they didn’t spend enough time with his Auntie Kat.

“I was up until after midnight trying to work out a deal on this Carter and Sons case,” Regina defended. “And then Henry woke up at half five and decided to play with his toys on my bed.”

“You were the one who wanted kids,” Kathryn pointed out. “I don’t know why you don’t just retire. You can afford to.”

“I’m twenty-nine,” Regina said. “If I retired now can you imagine how bored I would be by the time I was forty?”

“True,” Kathryn grinned at her colleague. “You don’t exactly do well with time on your hands do you?”

“Can we go now?” Henry asked, already bored by the conversation he didn’t quite understand and itching to get outside into the powdery snow which he knew coated the acres of parkland just up the road.

“Sure, just let me get changed quickly and I’ll be right with you guys,” Ruby said, climbing stiffly from the booth and slumping into the back of the diner where the stairs to the apartment above was located.

Regina and Kathryn turned their attention to Henry who was already talking excitedly about just how big their snow-monkey was going to be. Neither woman noticed the nervous blonde approaching their table, thin pale hands reaching out for their empty plates.

“Shit!”

Regina jumped at the shout and scooted away as the dregs of her coffee trickled towards the edge of the table and her lap, the mug itself rocking noisily on its rim against the hard table top.

“Sorry!” came the gushed apology, a damp, stained rag appearing and mopping up the brown liquid before it could drip off the table and into the fabric of Regina’s expensive coat.

“Be more careful in future,” Regina snapped, picking up the coffee cup and placing it back on the table. “And watch your language. This is a family friendly diner.”

“Yes, I’m so sorry. Please … please don’t … I can’t lose -,”

Regina gasped as she looked up at the stuttering woman. Green eyes, wide with worry, stared back at her, a thin lip pulled between chewing teeth. The young woman looked remarkably cleaner and warmer since the last time Regina had seen her but she was unmistakably the same person.

“You?” Regina said, her voice suddenly softer. “What are you doing here?”

“I … work here,” Emma finished lamely. “At least, I hope I still do. I’m so sorry about the coffee. My hands were wet and it just slipped and I tried to catch it but …”

“It’s ok,” Regina said, stopping the ramble. “No harm was done.”

“Mama, why’s the beggar in here?”

Regina’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment as her son’s loud words echoed through the almost empty diner. Several customers looked around to see who the child could possibly be talking about. Kathryn’s eyebrows rose but she said nothing. Emma’s gaze dropped to the ground as she began to step away from table.

“Henry,” Regina admonished. “That was rude.”

“Why?” Henry frowned, not understanding how saying something that was true could possibly be bad.

“It just … is,” Regina finished lamely. “I’m sorry,” she said turning to Emma.

“It’s fine,” Emma replied. “Let me take those plates for you.”

She leaned across the table and pulled the two pie plates towards her. Balancing the empty coffee mug on top, she turned around and walked straight into Ruby. All three items dropped to the floor, exploding in a shower of porcelain.

“Shit!” Emma said again, her hands coming to cover her face as she felt tears begin behind to prick her eyes. This was it. It was over. Her new job had lasted barely eight hours and she was going to be fired. She wondered how she was going to break the news to August. The two of them had already discussed how they would spend the forty dollars she was intending to earn that day and had even formulated a plan for saving money so they could find somewhere to live within a month.

“Hey, Emma,” came Ruby’s concerned voice. “Are you ok?”

Emma shook her head, her hands still firmly covering her face.

“What’s going on?” came Granny’s voice from behind the counter.

“My bad,” Ruby called. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I walked straight into Emma. I’ll get all of this cleaned up before I leave though.”

There was a pause. Emma could tell Granny was appraising the scene before her.

“You’d better,” the older woman said after a long pause. “Emma, your shift ends in fifteen minutes so make sure you finish up as much of the lunch rush washing as possible. You’re on the same shift time tomorrow and your wages from today are in the staff room.”

Emma slowly lowered her hands. She … she wasn’t being fired? She tried to wipe the frown from her forehead and nodded at Granny to confirm she understood and then turned to Ruby who was still in front of her.

“You ok?” the brunette repeated again.

“Yeah,” Emma muttered. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Ruby said. “Believe me, I’ve dropped my fair share of plates and dishes in this place. Come on, I’ll show you where we keep the brooms and cleaning supplies.”

Without looking back at the table behind her, Emma followed Ruby, stepping over the shattered crockery and heading into the storage area.

“Do you know her?” Kathryn asked as she turned back to Regina who was already pulling Henry’s warm coat and gloves out and getting ready to dress him.

“No,” Regina replied as she stood up and beckoned Henry towards her. It was true. She didn’t know the blonde, who apparently was called Emma. She thought the name rather suited the woman, strong yet feminine at the same time.

“Then why did Henry say she was a beggar?” Kathryn said. She had been working with Regina for too long to know recognise when the woman was lying.

“We … gave her some money about a week ago,” Regina relented, tugging Henry’s arm gently through his coat sleeve as she spoke. “She was sitting on Park Avenue and Henry asked if we could give her something. You know I’m not one for handing out money but she looked so cold and sad that I -,”

A quiet cough from behind Regina made her freeze. She slowly turned to look into the reddened face of Emma, holding a broom limply in her hand.

“I’m sorry,” Regina offered. “I didn’t mean -,”

“It’s fine,” Emma interrupted, her tone a little icy. “If you’d be so kind as to move aside, I’ll start clearing up this mess I made.”

Regina did so, pulling Henry out of the way as well, their shoes crunching a little on the shards of broken plates. Just as Regina was trying to work out what she could say to apologise, Ruby bounded up to the group.

“Ready?” she asked, jamming a bright red beanie with stitched in wolf-ears onto her head.

“I’m not going out with you dressed like that,” Regina said, distracted at once from her guilt. “You look like a child.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Ruby asked, bending down and helping Henry who was fiddling with some of the remaining toggles on his coat.

“You’re almost thirty,” Regina replied.

“Shhhhh,” Ruby said, as if it was some big secret. “If we don’t believe it, then it won’t happen.”

“Wishing time would stop doesn’t make it so,” Regina said. “Come on, let’s go. But you have to walk at least three metres ahead of the adults here, ok?”

“Deal,” Ruby grinned, holding out her hand to Henry who took it and the pair led the way out of the diner.

Emma didn’t look up from her sweeping until the door shut again. As she watched, the little group passed the window of the diner and headed down the street towards Central Park. Ruby and Henry were already ahead, slipping slightly on the icy pavements. Regina and Kathryn had linked arms, grinning sideways at each other as they watched their mutual friend and Regina’s son tottering down the sidewalk.

Emma sighed and returned to her work. She wondered how it would feel. To have friends. August was her friend, she supposed. But it wasn’t the same. They were together because they needed one another to survive, thrust into each other’s lives by the brutality and loneliness which plagued the streets. Ruby’s friends however, they were simply sharing their carefree lives together, enjoying a Saturday afternoon in a snowy New York City, wrapped up in their expensive coats and gloves. Would that ever be Emma? Would she ever get to a place where she too could stroll down the street, arm in arm with a true friend and a child running along ahead.

Her stomach plummeted at the thought. She quickly turned her attention back to the broken crockery and started sweeping faster.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma found herself at a loss on Tuesday. Granny's was closed and she had the day off. For seven months she had had no daily routine, no schedule, no responsibilities. And yet three days of working at the diner and she didn't know what to do with herself when she woke up on Tuesday morning, an empty day stretching ahead of her. The first thing she decided was to take a trip to a laundrette and wash her work uniform. A chore. She hadn’t had one of those for a while. She had already bought another pair of trousers and was eyeing up some black sneakers for when she had enough spare money.

On Sunday night she had brought back two new sleeping bags for her and August. The man had gently admonished her frivolous spending but he couldn't deny that he had been warmer, and slept better, that night since the New York winter began. They had a plan however, a plan which would mean that they would never have to suffer through a season of sub zero temperatures on the streets again. Half of Emma's wages were being put aside, hidden behind a loose brick in the concrete in their tunnel. New York rent was notoriously expensive but they hoped they could find somewhere if they looked in less desirable areas. After all, anything would be a step up from what they were used to.

So by midday Emma found herself strolling down the street, her laundry swinging by her side and a spring in her step. It was going to be ok. They were going to get off the streets. She was going to have a life again. August even had a job interview the following week. His former army buddy had hooked him up with another veteran soldier who was looking for labourers on a new construction site. At least this employer might understand August's struggle with PTSD.

Her feet carried her to the northern area of Central Park. She rarely ventured much further than the tunnel she called home but she loved the quieter, wilder end of the green space. Well, the white space. A thick carpet of snow still covered the ground and Emma's footsteps lay like dark shadows behind her, tracking every movement. She found a bench beneath a tall tree which someone had scraped clear and sat down. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she reached into her pocket and pulled out half a sandwich. It had been left over at Granny's the day before, untouched by the customer. Emma had surreptitiously slipped it into a napkin and then hidden it in her locker. She didn't think Ruby or even Granny would mind her taking discarded food, but she was still a little embarrassed. Thoughts of that faded away however as she bit into the slightly dry but still delicious bread and began to eat.

* * *

"Come on, Robin," Regina sighed, leaning forwards on her elbows and looking determinedly into the stony face of the lawyer before her. "It's a good deal. We all get what we want and we don't have the messiness of a court trial."

The man glanced over the document before him again and pushed it back towards Regina. "I told you before. There is no deal to be had. This merger was all but complete and my client was screwed over at the last moment. They have every right to bring this to trial and they will win if they do so."

"Years down the line, perhaps," Regina nodded. "But not after months of hearings and appeals and the endless stream of paperwork you and I both know will become involved. Surely as a business they'd rather just move on? Take the deal and this will be over by the end of the week."

"This deal isn't worth it," Robin said, waving his hand towards the paper. "We'd win a settlement ten times that amount in court."

"And after you've deducted your legal costs you'll have about five dollars left," Regina pointed out.

Regina knew Robin would have to take the deal eventually. Both lawyers were fully aware that their respective clients did not want to go to trial. She just didn't know how best to get him to sign. Any feminine wiles she may have used in the past had become remarkable ineffective since she had turned his proposal down. She didn't even know why he had proposed. She didn't want to know what her mother had said to the man to get him to agree to the merger. Or perhaps it was Mr Gold, the primary partner of the firm. Cora Mills had always had a mysterious power over him.

Robin sighed and reached out, pulling the paper back towards him. Regina tried not to smirk as the man flicked through the conditions again.

"Up this to five million and you have a deal," Robin said eventually.

“Three." 

"Four." 

"Three point five."

"Three point seven five."

"Deal."

Regina passed over her silver pen and watched with immense satisfaction as Robin scrawled his signature and pushed the papers back towards her.

"I'll be in touch," he said, standing and buttoning his suit jacket. "Carter is out of town this week but he can come and sign whatever he needs next Monday."

"I look forward to it," Regina said, smiling sweetly as Robin turned and walked from her office.

As soon as the door was shut behind him, Regina leaned back in her chair and let out a little chuckle. Reaching for her cell, she quickly dialled her client's number to tell him the good news. She had been told to close the deal for less than four point five million and was hoping for a bonus after having saved him seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. She had been daunted at first by the almost sickening amount of money she dealt with but it had been years since she had begun to work for her mother's office and she was now used to seeing that many zeros on a page.

She called her mother next, letting her know the deal was complete. If Cora was impressed, she didn't bestow any praise on her daughter, only ensuring that she knew her attendance at tomorrow's meeting was expected. Sobered, Regina ended the call and pulled her next case file towards her.

* * *

“We have an arrangement,” the man said gruffly.

“I know,” Emma replied. “But I would like to end that arrangement. I’ve got a job and I’m trying to go straight. I can’t do,” she gestured between them, “this any more.”

The man’s eyes narrowed. “You want more money?” he asked. “Is that is? I’ll pay you thirty bucks for the night.”

“It’s not about the money,” Emma sighed. “I’m sorry, sir. This is the last time you’ll see me.”

Cold, blue eyes narrowed in the darkness. “Surely it’s me who says when this stops. I’m the one who’s paying you so what right do you have to end our meetings.”

Emma gulped and stepped backwards, into the shadows of the tunnel. The man followed.

“Back off.”

Emma let out a shuddering breath as she sensed August’s presence right behind her. He had been waiting in the darkness, ready to step in the second the situation got out of hand. Emma had tried to tell him it wasn’t necessary but he had insisted on staying. Usually Emma sent him away when she was meeting the man. She didn’t like anyone to witness her stooping to selling herself.

The man squinted through the gloom, trying to decipher the source of the mysterious voice. When the dim light from the streetlamp fell across August’s face, his eyes widened slightly. The army vet might not have been in the best shape of his life but it was clear he knew how to take care of himself. He seemed to be considering his options for a moment but clearly decided perfunctory sex wasn’t worth the beating he would inevitably receive.

“See you around, Emma,” the man said, shortly before he turned and walked away, swallowed by the dark park seconds later.

“Thanks,” Emma said, turning to August.

“You told him your name?” August frowned, leading the way back to their sleeping bags where a half eaten piece of pie was waiting for them. Yet another perk of Emma’s job.

“It was a moment of weakness,” Emma said. “He was being sweet to me one night and he said he knew Jade wasn’t my real name and asked what was.”

“Does he know your surname?”

“No, why? You worried he’s going to friend me on Facebook?”

“Do you have Facebook?” August asked.

“I never closed my account,” Emma shrugged. “But it’s not like I have a computer or cell phone to access it. Anyway, he’s not going to track me down, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“He knows you sleep here though,” August pointed out.

“Yes, and he also knows you sleep here. You saw his face when he realised who was behind me. He’s not stupid enough to come back and get his ass kicked.”

August looked sceptical but said no more. Instead, he reached for the bottle beside him, took a long sip and passed it to Emma.

“No thanks,” Emma replied. “I’ve got to get up in five hours for work.”

August shrugged and returned the bottle to his lips, the amber liquid pouring easily down his throat and warming his insides. Emma looked worried for a moment before she broke off another piece of pie and popped it into her mouth.

* * *

The town car slowed and stopped. Regina didn’t even notice they were no longer moving, so wrapped up was she in the paperwork strewn across her lap.

“Ma’am?” came Graham’s gentle, lilting voice.

She looked up, out of the window and realised with a jolt that she was outside the childminder’s house. Quickly gathering the papers, she stuffed them back into the file and climbed out of the car. She could see Henry’s face through a crack in the curtains as she walked up the steps to ring the bell of the brownstone. Seconds later, the door swung open.

“Hi Zelena,” Regina smiled. “Sorry I’m late.”

“No problem,” the woman said with a dismissive wave of her hand. “Ava and Nick are still here too. You parents work too hard.”

Regina laughed as she stepped into the hallway and Henry’s head appeared around the doorframe to the living room seconds later.

“Mama, come and see the train set me and Nick built.”

“Nick and I,” Regina corrected, her heals clicking on the hardwood floor as she followed her son and Zelena into the living room.

She stopped dead on the threshold, unwilling to walk any further lest she disturb the complicated length of train tracks which twisted and turned throughout the entire room. Henry sat cross-legged in the middle, grinning widely just as Nick crawled into view, his chubby fist gripping a train which was trundling along the track.

“Very good,” Regina admired. “I like the bridge over the piece of paper.”

“It’s a lake,” Henry said, frowning a little at how his mother had failed to identify the blue square as such.

“Of course,” Regina nodded. “Now, are you ready to go? It’s past your dinner time already.”

Henry got obediently to his feet and looked around for his backpack. Locating it, he scooped up Marlo and tiptoed gingerly over to where his mother and Zelena were standing.

“How much extra do I owe you?” Regina asked, puling out her wallet.

“Nothing,” Zelena said, shaking her head and letting her long red hair dance through the air.

“Don’t be silly,” Regina said. “I’ve been late three out of four days this week.”

“And Henry is a delightful boy whom I don’t mind spending more time with,” Zelena said. “Honestly, Mrs Mills. Don’t worry about it.”

Regina pursed her lips but acquiesced. She handed over the three hundred dollars she owed and thanked Zelena once again. Taking Henry’s hand, the two of them walked back out of the house and down the steps to where Graham was waiting patiently for them.

* * *

"So," Ruby said, hopping up onto the work surface beside where Emma was drying pans. "How's your first full week of work been?"

"A learning curve," Emma said, "but I've loved every second of it."

"Even when Granny made you clear up that vomit in the bathroom?"

"Oh, maybe not that," Emma conceded. "But I like it here. It's keeping me busy and I'm making money again. I'm so grateful, you know, to both you and Mrs Lucas."

"We're glad to have you," Ruby smiled. "You're a much harder worker than the usual bus-boys or girls we get here."

"I like to do whatever I'm doing to the best of my ability," Emma shrugged. "It's not taxing work so the least I can do is excel."

Ruby cocked her head to one side and watched the blonde as she finished her washing and began to put the cooking items away. She moved fluidly about the kitchen, already familiar with its layout. Ruby wondered, not for the first time, how someone who seemed so capable and hardworking could have ended up on the streets in the first place. But it was too soon to ask. They weren't exactly friends yet and Ruby didn't want to push the woman too far. Whilst confident in some ways, Emma was also shy and closed off, reluctant to share anything personal about her life during the few brief conversations the two of them had had.

"Emma," Granny said as she walked into the kitchen. "Are you able to stay on a few hours? Melanie has called in sick and I have no one to cover her. You'll be paid, of course."

"Yeah, sure," Emma said. "How long for?" 

"Until after the dinner rush," Granny said. "Eight, probably." 

"No problem," Emma smiled, thinking solely of the extra thirty dollars she could earn.

"Thanks," Granny said. "Ruby, Henry just arrived.”

"Crap," the brunette said, climbing down from the counter. "I hadn't realised it was so late."

She disappeared from the kitchen without another word, leaving Emma to speculate as to who Henry was. She knew Ruby was dating a woman called Dot. She had met her early one morning, leaving the diner for work just as Emma was arriving. She smiled and introduced herself before pulling her warm coat around her and hurrying through the dark streets to the subway station. Which meant Henry wasn’t a boyfriend. It was an unusual name, she thought. Old-fashioned, traditional. She wondered if the man was the same way.

Emma found out exactly who Henry was when, after finishing all the dishes, she delivered a large plate of fries out to the diner less than half an hour later. Ruby was sat in a booth, laughing loudly as little fingers threaded through her hair.

"Stay still Auntie Ruby," Henry chuckled. "I can't braid your hair if you're moving."

"Sorry, Master Henry," Ruby said at once, biting her lip and trembling with giggles.

"Fries?" Emma asked, cautiously approaching after she recognised the small boy who had announced the the entire diner that she was homeless the week before.

"Pop them here," Ruby said, tapping the table.

Henry didn't even seem to register the appearance of the food. His tongue was trapped between his teeth, rapt concentration on his face. His fingers gripped long strands of Ruby's hair, cautiously twisting one around the other.

"Need help there?" Emma asked, smiling slightly.

Henry looked up at last and their eyes locked. Emma blinked.

"Hello," Henry said. "What's your name?"

Emma sometimes wished she was a child again, when the world was simple. That said, her childhood had been far from straightforward.

"I'm Emma," the blonde introduced. "I work here with ... Auntie Ruby."

"I'm Henry," the boy said. "Auntie Ruby promised me I could learn to braid her hair but she keeps moving."

"Oh dear," Emma said, mock admonishing her superior. "How about I squeeze through there and help you. I'm rather good with hairstyles as it goes."

Henry considered the woman before her. Emma waited, her breath caught in her chest as his hazel eyes roved over her, making his decision.

"Ok."

Ruby grinned up at Emma and swung her legs around so the blonde could slide past her. Once behind Ruby, Emma found herself alarmingly close to Henry. She had always liked children and they seemed to like her. At least, they had before she ended up on the streets. Now they were mostly frightened of her. But Henry just smiled at her and held out the tangled matt of hair he had been holding, encouraging her to join in.

"Right, let's see what we have here."

* * *

"I'll be ten minutes," Regina said to Graham before she hopped out of the town car and crossed the street to Granny's. The road, at last, was open once more.

The diner was busier than usual on a Friday afternoon and it took Regina a moment to spot her son. When she did, she smiled. Henry was bent over a booth, studiously focusing on what appeared to be a jigsaw puzzle. Ruby waved at her from behind the counter as she made her way across the room.

“Hi Henry,” Regina said.

“Hi Mama,” Henry replied, without looking up.

Regina went to sit down opposite Henry when she realised with a jolt that there was someone already seated there. The high backs of the booths meant she hadn’t noticed her before but Regina suddenly found herself staring into those increasingly familiar green eyes, a slightly guilty look on the blonde’s face.

“Oh, hello,” Regina said, a little taken aback. “Erm … what are you doing here?”

“Sorry,” Emma said, thinking as she did so that it was the only word she ever seemed to say to the brunette. “I was on my break and Henry asked for my help.”

“Emma’s been helping me with Ruby’s hair too,” Henry piped up.

Regina turned and looked at her best friend. Now she was closer, she realised that Ruby’s long, brown hair had been braided into tiny, messy plaits, hanging down her back like rats tails as she made yet more coffee. Regina couldn’t help but laugh. The things that woman would allow her son to do to her never failed to amaze her.

Emma cleared her throat and when Regina looked back, she realised her body was blocking the blonde’s exit from the booth. She stepped back, a faint heat in her cheeks.

“Thanks,” Emma muttered.

“Bye Emma,” Henry said, waving as the blonde retreated back towards the kitchen, grabbing a dirty plate from a nearby table as she went.

“Bye Henry,” Emma said. “It was nice to meet you.”

Regina watched as the young woman scurried from the room, her long blonde hair whipping around the corner and out of sight. She sank slowly into the chair and turned her attention to Henry.

“How was your day?” she asked him.

“Good,” Henry said, lifting his head at last and smiling at his mother.

Regina’s breath caught in her throat as she looked into his bright hazel eyes. She would never get over how wonderful it made her feel when he son smiled at her like he was just then. Like she was the only person in the world whom he loved. Regina grinned back. For her, Henry was the only person in the world whom she loved with all her heart.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: just before I get any comments, I have seven tattoos.

“And then Emma showed me how to braid Ruby’s hair with five different bits,” Henry continued. “But I kept dropping them and forgetting which one went next so she finished. And then she had to go and do some work but when she came back she helped me to do my jigsaw. Emma’s really good at jigsaws. She helped me finish the edges and then she showed me her tattoo.”

“Excuse me?” Regina asked, frowning at her son.

“Emma has a flower tattoo on her arm,” Henry said. “It’s really pretty. Can you get one?”

“Um, no,” Regina said, turning back to the pasta sauce she was cooking.

“Why not?”

“Because corporate lawyers don’t tend to have tattoos.”

“Why not?”

Regina pondered the question. She supposed she didn’t know what most of her colleagues had under their expensive suits. Well, she might know a few of them were ink-less for sure. But even those she hadn’t seen naked she would be prepared to bet a week’s salary that they did not have anything scratched onto their skin. Despite the increasing popularity of tattoos, the stigma still remained.

“It’s just not something we do.”

“Oh,” Henry said, looking confused for a moment. “Ok.”

Accepting her explanation, he returned to his drawing and left Regina to her thoughts. Henry had talked non-stop about the young blonde woman ever since they had left the diner over an hour before. He was clearly smitten with her but Regina couldn’t quite work out why. From what she had heard, Emma only spent a few minutes with her son in between bussing tables and yet Henry was talking as if they had been lifelong friends.

“What are we doing tomorrow?” Henry asked, gathering up his pencils as Regina began to strain the pasta.

“Grandma’s coming over,” Regina said.

“Ok,” Henry said simply.

Compared to Henry and Emma’s clearly blossoming relationship, he and his grandmother got on far less well. Regina hoped it wasn’t because of her. She wanted Cora and Henry to have a good relationship but feared that the constant tension and regular arguments which accompanied any visit would make that very difficult. Cora just wasn’t a ‘kids’ person. She certainly had never wanted her own. Regina had been an accident and had been told as much for as long as she could remember. Regina’s relationship with her mother had been bad all her life. She regularly thought that she must be some sort of sadist to have voluntarily joined her mother’s law firm.

“Can I have parmesan, please?” Henry said as Regina placed his pasta in front of him, jolting her out of her musings and focusing her once more on the small boy swinging his legs back and forth in his chair and smiling up at her.

“Of course,” Regina said, proud that her son was already developing a sophisticated palate.

Emma sat in silence, her back resting against the cold wall of the tunnel. Snow was falling again outside but that wasn’t what was making her shiver. August sat beside her, waiting for Emma to speak.

“Chicago?” she said at last.

“Yeah,” August nodded.

“When?”

“Next week.”

* * *

Emma turned to her friend, green eyes shining with tears through the darkness. August’s bright blue orbs glistened too. It had taken him a long time to work up the courage to tell Emma that he had been offered a job almost eight hundred miles away and now that he had, he knew their friendship would never be the same again.

“You’re … you’re going?” The words caught in her throat.

August swallowed. “I have to.”

Emma’s chin dropped to her chest. She could feel the tears burning her eyes, threatening to spill over and she knew she was powerless to stop them. Her breathing became shallow. Short, painful gasps as the familiar feeling washed over her. August was leaving. He was leaving her. After just a few short months, he had had enough and he wanted to move on from her. Just like everyone else she had ever met. She was going to be alone. Again.

“Emma, please,” came August’s voice, choked with his own emotions. “I’m so sorry. I don’t want to leave you.”

“Then why are you?” Emma spat out, her words intended to be angry but the wracking sob that followed just made them sad.

“Because it’s the first job I’ve been offered in two years," August reasoned, reaching out and feeling for Emma’s thin hand in the darkness. When their fingers touched, Emma pulled back, wrapping her blanket more firmly around her and shuffling further down the tunnel.

“Why isn’t it in New York?” Emma asked.

“There are no jobs here in his company,” August replied. “The only available positions are in Chicago or Texas. I had to make a choice.”

“And you chose to leave me?” Emma asked, her voice suddenly weak.

“I chose me,” August said. “I chose to focus on getting my life back on track. This job, Em, it could be great for me. It will give me purpose, give me something to focus on. It could be the key to me combatting this PTSD shit.”

“But you won’t be here,” Emma whispered.

“No,” August said quietly.

There was a long silence, Emma’s sniffling the only sound in the tunnel. It was late. Neither knew what time it was but the blonde was sure her eyes were going to be red at work the next morning, both from tiredness and crying.

“When do you leave?”

“Monday.”

“Two days?” Emma said, anger rising inside her. “How long have you known?”

August bit his lip. He knew she was going to be pissed when she found out he was keeping a secret from her. Emma hated secrets.

“Since Tuesday.”

Emma didn’t reply. She simply turned and lay down on her side, her back firmly to the man who had slept beside her almost every night for the past five months. The man who had kept her safe and warm during those cold, dark New York nights. The man whom she had started to believe would always be there for her. The man who she believed she could trust. The tears ran down her cheeks and soaked into her sleeping bag. She didn’t say anything more. Eventually, she felt August’s hand on her shoulder. Previously, it had been a safe, reassuring pressure but now it felt like lead, pressing almost unbearably on her body and squashing her into the hard tunnel floor. She wriggled away. August lifted his hand, sighed, and a few moments later she heard him rustling around as he settled down for what was left of the night.

* * *

Henry’s sobs made her heart clench. She pried his fingers from the nape of her neck and gently pulled away. Wiping his damp, red cheeks, she tilted his chin up and smiled softly.

“Henry,” she said quietly. “I’ll see you tonight, as I always do. Ok?”

“I … I don’t want,” he hiccupped. “I don’t want to go.” He threw himself back into his mother’s arms, crying into her neck

“To nursery?” Regina asked, frowning up at his teacher who was stood beside her.

“To Lena’s,” came the mumbled reply.

“Why not?” Regina said. She had picked Henry up from the childminder’s the night before and Henry hadn’t said anything at all about not wanting to go back.

“Nick.”

“Nick what?”

“He pinched me.”

Regina sighed and pulled Henry from her body again. His tear-stained face broke her heart again but she forced herself to smile.

“Henry, Zelena sorted that out, don't you remember? Nick said sorry for hurting you yesterday and said it wouldn’t happen again.”

“I don’t want to go,” Henry repeated.

Regina sighed and stood up. Henry’s arms wrapped around her legs, his face buried between them and her skirt soaking up his tears. She pulled out her phone and quickly dialled her best friend. She didn’t like to give in when Henry made a fuss but she was about to be late for work and opted for the easy solution.

* * *

Emma cursed quietly as she dropped the pan, the metal clanging noisily against the cupboard. She bent down to pick it up, rinsing it quickly before replacing it on the shelf. Turning back to the dishwasher, she opened the top and slid the tray out. Even the sight of pristine, steaming porcelain which usually gave her a strange sense of satisfaction didn’t lighten Emma’s mode. She stacked them quickly, not caring if she chipped them as they clanked together, and heaved them off the counter. Just as she was depositing them in their rightful home, Ruby walked in.

“You ok?” she asked as soon as she saw Emma.

It was already after lunch but the blonde looked like she had just dragged herself out of bed. Her eyes were puffy and red, her skin even paler than usual, and her hair was twisted into a messy bun. Even for someone who lived on the streets, she looked bad. Ruby hadn’t seen Emma since Monday afternoon when she had left at the end of her shift. Thinking back, the brunette realised their new worker had seemed more subdued than usual but she had presumed that was because the snow still hadn’t stopped falling and she wasn’t relishing the thought of the night spent outside.

“I’m fine,” Emma said shortly, not looking up.

“Really? Because you look like shit.”

Subtlety had never been one of Ruby’s strong suits but she also didn’t think now was the time to sugar coat it.

“I didn’t get much sleep last night,” Emma said, her back still to the brunette.

“Why not?”

Emma leaned her palms on the counter edge and sighed. Ruby saw her shoulders sag in exhaustion.

“Ever slept in a tunnel in freezing conditions?”

“No.”

Emma didn’t say anything more. She figured that would be enough for the brunette to leave her alone. She jumped in surprise therefore when a gentle hand landed on her shoulder. Slowly, she turned her head and looked into the concerned brown eyes beside her.

“Emma, do you … need a place to stay?”

“No. Thanks,” Emma said. She didn’t need charity. She’d get enough money for a place soon enough.

“What about a shelter? Is there one nearby which might have a bed?”

Emma gave a dark chuckle. “Ever spent a night in a homeless shelter?” Ruby shook her head. “Yeah, they’re not the best. You have to watch your back in those places more than you do on the streets.”

“So you’re just … alone?”

Ruby had never asked about where Emma went every afternoon when her shift ended. She thought it was too personal considering the short length of time they’d known each other. As she spoke however, she saw pain flicker across Emma’s face and the blonde quickly turned away, a hand raising to wipe away the tears which threatened to fall.

“Emma?”

The young woman walked quickly away from Ruby, heading out towards the diner. A hand closed around her wrist before she could leave however. She stopped, her gaze fixed on the floor as Ruby walked around to stand in front of her. Ruby waited, knowing she couldn’t push. Eventually, sad green eyes rose to meet her own.

“My friend left on Monday,” Emma said. “He … we were kinda a team, out there, together. We looked out for each other. But then he got a job in Chicago and he’s left me.”

“I’m sorry,” Ruby offered, knowing there was no way for her to even start to understand how Emma felt when she was alone on the streets. She got freaked out herself whenever there was a storm and Dot wasn’t there for her to cuddle up with.

“I can’t sleep,” Emma went on, unable to stop now she had finally opened up to someone. She hadn’t spoken about her life on the street to anyone aside from fellow homeless people. “Without August there to protect me, I can’t sleep. Every time I drift off I jolt awake, convinced that the sound of a rat or footsteps above me are someone coming to ….” She trailed off. Ruby didn’t need her to complete that sentence.

“Footsteps above you?” Ruby said. “Where do you sleep?”

“A tunnel,” Emma replied. “At least, that’s where August and I have been sleeping for a few months.”

“A tunnel?” Ruby repeated.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Emma said, not sure whether she was trying to convince herself or Ruby. “It’s warmer than most places and we’re rarely disturbed. Not many people come into Central Park at night.”

“Yeah, for good reason,” Ruby said. The park was not safe once night fell; everyone knew that. “Emma, please. Let me help you. I have a couch upstairs you can crash on until you have enough money for -,”

“No,” Emma interrupted. “I’m not a charity case.”

“No, you’re not,” Ruby agreed. “But you can’t carry on like this. Two days without sleep and you look like a zombie. You’re not going to be able to do your job properly if you don’t get some rest and then Granny will have to let you go.” Emma’s eyes widened in alarm. “But,” Ruby continued, “if you move in upstairs then at least you’ll be able to get some rest every day and have a proper shower.”

Emma blushed. She wondered whether Ruby knew she had taken to washing as best she could in the diner toilets before her shifts started.

“Emma, please, let me help you.”

“I don’t need your help,” Emma bristled.

“Don’t you?” Ruby said. “Look, you’re a fantastic worker and a lovely person but you have to admit that you’re not doing too great right now. I’m offering you a place on my couch. It’s nothing special. In fact, it’s not even long enough for you to stretch out. But it’s warm and safe and you’ll be with someone who cares about you.”

Her heart thudded at what Ruby said but she still wrinkled her nose. She didn’t want to accept. She really didn’t want to be the homeless bum who ended up on her employer’s couch. But she could also tell Ruby wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Can I pay you?” Emma asked. At least that was she wouldn’t feel quite so pathetic.

“How are you going to save up for a place of your own if you’re paying me?” Ruby replied.

“I’m used to living on a shoestring,” Emma shrugged.

“Five bucks a day,” Ruby said. “And you have to cook for me once a week.”

Emma laughed. “Trust me, you don’t want that.”

“You can’t be as bad as Dot. She gave me food poisoning for our one year anniversary when she cooked us chicken pie. I still don’t quite know how she managed it considering she followed a recipe.”

Emma smiled. “Are you sure?”

“I insist on it,” Ruby said. “Go and get your stuff now and you can move in today.”

“I’ve still got half an hour of my shift left,” Emma said, glancing at the clock.

“Granny’s out with our accountant,” Ruby said. “I’ll cover you on one condition.”

“What?”

“Henry’s out in the diner. I just went to pick him up from nursery because he didn’t want to go to his childminder’s. Reckon you could entertain him this afternoon? I usually just sit him down with some paper and pencils but he gets bored and I feel bad.”

“Sure,” Emma nodded.

“Great, see you in a bit, roomie.”

Emma smiled at the term before ducking into the staff room to grab her sweater and newly acquired coat and heading for the door.

* * *

“No, they declared bankruptcy already,” Regina said, tapping her pen against her desk. “That is merely a formality at this point.”

“And they’re asking how much?” came the voice on the other end of the phone.

“Twelve million for everything,” Regina replied. “That includes all off-shore assets and any remaining funds.”

“Which amounts to what?”

“They have a few hundred thousand from a last minute deal,” Regina said, scanning the documents on the computer. “But the factory in Myanmar is worth several million and is still in production. And I believe they have a plot of undeveloped land which has attracted seven figure offers in India.”

“Go back to them with ten million and let me know what they say.”

“I will try,” Regina said. “But don’t expect a reply today. It’s already after five and I doubt there’s anyone left at the office.”

“Tomorrow then.”

“Of course. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”

Regina hung up and leaned back in her chair. She smiled at how quickly she was going to complete the deal before realising with a jolt that she was due to pick up Henry is less than ten minutes. Jumping up from her chair, she stuffed her cell and diary into her handbag and headed for the door. Shouting instructions to a harried looking Mary Margaret as she passed, Regina dashed towards the elevators and pummelled the ‘down’ button.

Amazingly, it only took Graham half an hour to expertly negotiate the New York rush hour traffic and Regina leapt from the car just before six and headed into the busy diner. Henry waved at her as soon as she entered. He had obviously been looking out for his mother. Regina was surprised to realise that beside her son sat Emma. Again.

“Good evening,” she said, bending down and placing a kiss on the top of Henry’s head. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“It’s ok,” Henry said. “Emma made me dinner because I was hungry.”

Regina raised an eyebrow and looked at the blonde.

“Sorry,” Emma said. “Ruby told me it would be ok. I just put together a sandwich for him. Ham and cheese. With lettuce.”

“Which she made me eat,” Henry said with a scowl.

“Lettuce is good for you,” Emma said, turning her attention to the boy and secretly grateful she had an excuse to look away from the piercing brown eyes of his mother. “If you want to be strong when you grow up you need to eat lots of vegetables, remember?”

“Where’s Ruby?” Regina asked, interrupting the nutrition lesson this almost perfect stranger was giving her son.

“She’s out the back,” Emma said. “There was a mix up with a delivery and she’s arguing about whether or not we have to accept twelve dozen bottles of olive oil as opposed to just twelve. Apparently there’s a storage issue.”

Regina looked towards the back corridor and then slid into the seat opposite her son. And Emma. There was a moment of awkward silence before Emma cleared her throat.

“I’d better get going. Ruby asked me to watch Henry but since you’re here now,” she made to stand up before realising she couldn’t move because Henry was sat in the way.

“Henry, can you let Emma past please.”

Emma felt her gut twist as she heard her name said in that deep, sultry voice. She didn’t even register the fact that Henry had obeyed and that she was now free to move. She just sat there, staring at the lips from which her name had tumbled.

“Emma?”

It happened again. Her heart beat quickened.

“Sorry,” the blonde said, jumping to her feet and knocking her thighs painfully against the table edge. She didn’t react. Instead, she slid from the booth and made to leave.

“Thank you,” Regina called after her.

“For what?” Emma asked, turning back.

“For looking after Henry and for feeding him. I got trapped at work … again, and I’m glad he was spending time with someone who was paying him attention. He spends far too much time here waiting for me and I know Ruby has work to do.”

“It’s ok,” Emma said. “He’s a great kid.”

“Yes, he is,” Regina nodded, reaching down and ruffling Henry’s hair. The boy had already resumed his seat in the booth and wasn’t paying either woman any attention. He had pulled Regina’s iPhone from her back, unlocked it, and opened a game app.

Emma paused, not sure quite what to say. She watched as Regina smiled fondly down at Henry and wondered whether anyone had ever looked at her with such love in their eyes. She doubted it. Henry might not spend as much time as he’d like with his mother but he was one of the luckiest kids in the world to have the brunette’s unconditional love.

“Right, well, I’ll see you around,” Emma said after a while.

“Yes, thanks again, Emma.”

Emma swallowed. “You’re welcome -,”

“Regina,” the brunette supplied, smiling and showing off perfectly straight, pearly white teeth.

“You’re welcome, Regina,” Emma said, swirling her tongue around the name. It suited. Regal and elegant. “Bye Henry, see you soon.”

“Bye Emma,” Henry said, not looking up from the screen where a bright yellow bird was zooming towards a toothy pig.

Emma smiled and finally walked away. She felt something low in the pit of her belly. She knew what was causing it. Those rich chocolate eyes were staring at her as she left. She forced herself not to turn around and eventually reached the back corridor which led towards the apartment entrance. She leaned against the wall and breathed deeply.

This could not happen. Emma closed her eyes and tried to calm her racing heart. It was ridiculous. It was impossible. There was no way a woman like Regina would ever be interested in a street rat like her. And she had a son. She was clearly not gay. Emma mentally shook herself and opened her eyes. She needed to get a grip. Developing a crush on her employer’s best friend was possibly the worst thing which could happen to her now August had left and the quickest way to get fired. Which simply meant it wouldn’t happen. Emma nodded her head in finality and reached in her pocket to fish out her key to the apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: let’s have some proper conversations between our two ladies shall we?

Emma had known she was gay since she was nineteen. She’d had boyfriends before that and it had been … fine. But it never felt quite right. It never felt how it was described in books or how it looked in movies. And when Emma met Lily, she had realised why. Their relationship was different in all the right ways and the two of them had been great together. Emma didn’t let people in easily. Seventeen years of being shunted around the foster system had forced her to build walls, protecting herself when the day inevitably came and she was moved to a new home. But with Lily, those walls had slowly come down. She had let the raven haired woman in. She had trusted her, loved her, been devoted to her.

Until eight moths ago. Emma didn’t want to blame Lily for her ending up on the streets but she couldn’t deny the coincidental timing. Lily had left. She had joined the long list of people who had let Emma down. Who had abandoned her. When Emma had come back to their shared apartment and found it empty she had sworn to herself she would never trust anyone.

August had been gaining her trust however. He almost had it until the week before when he had announced that he too was leaving her. She could have kicked herself for letting herself believe that he was going to be different, that he was going to stick around. She should know better. No one ever stuck around for Emma Swan.

And Emma didn’t stick around much either. She’d abandoned people too. She’d run away from countless foster homes and walked out on several boyfriends before she met Lily. She’d left people who needed her too. Maybe she just wasn’t a relationship sort of person.

Which was one of the many reasons Emma knew nothing could ever happen between Regina and herself. Forget the fact that the woman had given no indication that she was even attracted to Emma. She didn’t even know if she was interested in women. And there was the issue that she was so completely out of Emma’s league. Regina came from the upper classes of New York, the creme de la creme of society. Emma came from … well, she didn’t honestly know. But she doubted it was anywhere good. Why would a high flying lawyer be interested in a cold, sad, street rat? Emma had tried to forget those words but she had failed. And added street rat. She doubted those perfect, plump lips would ever use such a derogatory term. But that didn’t mean Regina wasn’t thinking it.

And on top of all that, Regina was Ruby’s best friend. There was no way Ruby would want the two of them to be together. Her new employer might like her well enough to clear tables and sleep on the couch but she highly doubted Ruby would approve of a relationship.

What relationship? Emma huffed and turned over on the couch, trying to get comfortable. She really, really needed to stop thinking about that woman. It was never going to happen.

* * *

“Where’s Henry?”

Ruby spun around and was met with the very worried face of the boy’s mother, mere inches from her own. Regina had entered the diner only one hour late but after a quick scan of the place, had deduced that her four year old son was not there.

“Upstairs,” Ruby said calmly.

“What? Alone?”

“Of course not,” Ruby scoffed. After being best friends with Regina for twenty-four years, Ruby was almost offended that she had been asked that. She loved Henry like he was her own son. There was no way she was going to leave him unattended.

“Then who’s there?” Regina snapped. “Unless you’re Ruby’s identical twin I never knew about or Dot got back from Kansas early then -,”

“Emma.”

“Oh.”

Ruby turned back to the coffee she was making and continued to speak.

“Emma is living on my couch at the moment. Her situation … changed, and I offered her a place to stay until she has enough money saved up to get an apartment of her own.”

“Emma’s staying with you?” Regain frowned.

“Yep,” Ruby said. “She’s only been here two days and she’s already baked three batches of cookies and made me coffee every morning. She’s the best flatmate I’ve ever had. Aside from you,” Ruby quickly corrected as she turned to see Regina scowling at her. The two had shared an apartment at college and it had been the most fun either woman had ever had. Regina wasn’t sure her liver would ever fully recover. “And since Emma had the afternoon off and she and Henry seem to get along so well, I thought it would be nice for him to spend some time upstairs rather than in the diner. Unless you’re not happy with Emma watching him?”

“No, it’s fine,” Regina said, her heart rate slowly returning to normal as she realised her son was safe. “You’re right. Henry is rather fond of her and I do feel bad for making you watch him and work every Friday.”

“I don’t mind,” Ruby assured. “But whilst Emma’s here, it makes sense, right?”

“Right,” Regina nodded. “I’ll go on up and get him.”

“Say goodbye before you leave,” Ruby said, picking up the two coffees she’d just finished making and walking out from behind the counter.

Regina made her way quickly into the back corridor and down to the apartment door. She opened it and climbed the narrow, dark staircase. Before she pushed open the living room door, she could already hear Henry’s giggles. She wasn’t being sneaky, she told herself as she gingerly laid her fingers on the wood and nudged it ajar. She just wanted to see how Emma interacted with her son when no one was around to watch. Poking her head around the door, her eyes widened in surprise at what she saw.

“Giddy up!” Henry cried, waving his hands in front of him and wiggling his legs.

Emma obediently crawled forwards on her hands and knees, Henry wobbling on her back. Her long blonde hair was draped over one side of her head, falling like a mane which, Regina supposed, was the idea.

“Faster,” Henry cried, his little heels colliding with Emma’s sides.

Regina heard a grunt of pain but the blonde sped up, shuffling around the carpet as Henry squealed in delight. The woman disappeared behind the couch for a moment, Henry’s head bobbing along until she rounded the other side and stopped dead. Regina blinked, realising that the blonde was staring at her. She smiled slightly, embarrassed at having been caught spying, and stepped further into the room.

“Hi,” Regina said.

“Mama!” Henry cried, sliding clumsily from Emma’s back and barrelling towards his mother.

“Hi Henry,” Regina said, lifting him into her arms and kissing his nose.

“Emma’s my horse,” Henry said proudly. “She said I could be a jockey when I’m older because I have a strong sheet.”

“Seat,” Emma corrected, standing up and rubbing her sore knees.

“A jockey, eh?” Regina said, putting her son down and watching as he raced off towards the kitchen.

“Sorry,” Emma said. Again. “I guess you want him to be a lawyer or a banker or something.”

“No,” Regina said, shaking her head. “I want him to be whatever he wants to be.”

Just because her mother had set her on the path to be a corporate lawyer for as long as Regina could remember, it didn’t mean she was going to inflict one chosen career on her own son. Regina briefly wondered what Emma’s mother and father wanted for their daughter. She doubted it was what had transpired.

There was an awkward silence before Emma gestured to the couch.

“Would you like to sit down?” she asked, silently grateful she had tidied her bedding away earlier.

Regina did so, crossing her legs neatly as Emma took a seat at the far end of the couch, her feet curled beneath her as she leaned back against the arm.

“So, you’re a lawyer?” Emma asked. Ruby had mentioned that fact a few nights before. Emma hadn’t had many good experiences with lawyers. Her public defender was barely older than she was and she had been convinced his lack of experience was why she had got such a heavy sentence.

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “But don’t hold it against me.”

“I wasn’t,” Emma said quickly.

“Yeah right,” Regina chuckled. “I can read faces rather well and you,” she pointed at the blonde, “are not a fan of people in my line of work.”

“Laws and lawyers are important,” Emma said. “I just … don’t know many nice ones.”

“I’m nice,” Regina said.

“Outside of the courtroom, perhaps,” Emma said.

“I’m in corporate law,” Regina said. “But you’re right. I might not be quite so pleasant when I’m trying to close a deal.”

Emma laughed. “Then I’m glad I haven’t met you in a meeting room.”

Regina sobered, realising she owed the blonde an apology.

“Emma, I’m sorry for what I said to Kathryn a couple of weekends ago,” Regina said. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”

“It’s ok,” Emma shrugged. “It’s the truth.”

“Doesn’t mean it was a nice thing to say though,” Regina pointed out. “And I saw how it … hurt you.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose. She thought she had managed to hide the punch in the gut the brunette’s words had caused rather well. Apparently not.

“It’s not the worst thing someone’s ever called me,” Emma said, her voice quieter. “I was cold. And sad. I can’t blame you for thinking that.”

“You look better now,” Regina offered.

Emma blushed, averting her eyes from the woman before her and scanning the room for Henry. A clattering from the kitchen told her he was putting away the blocks they had been building with earlier.

“It’s amazing what warmth, running water, and a couch to sleep on will do to a person,” Emma said, trying to make a joke.

The pitying look in Regina’s eyes told her she’d failed. She sighed and ran her fingers through her blonde hair.

“Please don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” Regina asked, confused.

“Like you think I’ve got this shit life and I’m someone to feel sorry for.”

This time it was Regina’s turn to blush. “Sorry,” she offered. “That’s not what I was -.” She stopped talking. She didn’t want to lie to the blonde and that really had been what she was thinking. This young woman had clearly been through a lot and she did feel sorry for her. That look Emma had given her three weeks previously had haunted her and now she seemed to be getting her life together, the desperation those green eyes had held seemed all the more poignant. Emma wanted better for herself. Emma was fighting to get a better life. Emma was going to get a better life.

“Thank you, by the way,” Emma said.

“For what?” Regina asked.

“The money you gave me. Well, the money Henry gave me.”

“Erm … you’re welcome,” Regina said, unsure quite how to respond without offending the blonde. “Henry thought you looked cold.”

“And you agreed with him?”

“Excuse me?” Regina frowned, not quite sure where the question was going.

“You don’t strike me as the kind of person who gives money to beggars,” Emma shrugged. “But you did that day. Why?”

Regina swallowed, her throat feeling unnaturally tight. “Yes, I thought you looked cold.”

“And,” Emma prompted.

“And,” Regina said, taking a deep breath. “I’ve never seen anyone looking quite so … alone.”

The word felt like a slap in the face and Emma bit the inside of her cheek to force the tears which sprang to her eyes not to fall. That had been the day August had come back. That had been the day she had no longer been alone. After a week of solitude, the day Regina saw her, she had her friend and companion back. And yet, she still looked … lonely.

The sound of something breaking offered the blonde the perfect excuse to stop looking into those beautiful brown eyes. Emma stood quickly from the couch and headed into the kitchen.

“Henry, are you -? Oh.”

“It slipped,” came the guilty response.

“No problem,” Emma said, hearing Regina’s curious footsteps behind her. “Stay still until I clear this up.”

She quickly bent down and picked up a few large pieces of shattered glass. Then she reached for the dustpan and efficiently swept the remaining fragments of the tumbler from the floor around Henry until it was safe for him to move again.

“Are you hurt?” Regina asked as Henry ran towards her.

He shook his head.

“Can we go home, Mama?”

“Sure,” Regina nodded. “Where’s your bag?”

Henry pointed to the chair and Regina picked it up, popping Marlo, whom she’d found on the couch, back inside. The two made their way over to the door, leaving Emma to deal with the broken glass. By the time Henry had his shoes on, the blonde was resting her hip against the couch, watching as Regina buttoned up his coat and then did the same to her own.

“Bye Emma,” Henry said, waving enthusiastically.

“Bye kid,” Emma said. “See you next week.”

“Thank you,” Regina said. “And … sorry. Again.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Emma said. “Have a good weekend.”

“You too,” Regina said before she opened the door and she and Henry disappeared into the dark corridor beyond.

* * *

Tuesdays were fast becoming Emma’s least favourite day of the week. Even with a roof over her head and not having to worry about where her next meal was coming from, she loathed the free time. Twenty-four unstructured hours. Twenty-four hours where she had to find some way of entertaining herself. This week, she had decided to do some research. She guessed she was going to regret it.

Ruby had graciously offered her laptop for Emma to use and hadn’t even asked what she needed it for. Emma wasn’t sure she’d have told the truth if she had. She hated lying but she hated the conversation which would have followed the reveal even more.

It was embarrassing. Who is so unloveable that even their parents abandon them on the side of a highway when they’re mere hours old? Emma Swan, that’s who. She first began to try and track down her birth parents when she was seventeen, after she had run away from her final foster home. Since then her searching had been sporadic but so far she had only reached dead ends. Each clue, each glimmer of hope had been doused out when the trails went cold, leaving Emma angrier and sadder than before.

But she fired up the laptop that Tuesday morning with a sense of optimism. She was in a good place in her life. She had a job. She had a place to live, sort of. She had a plan to get her own apartment. Maybe that would translate to her search.

It didn’t, and nine hours later Emma slammed the lid of the laptop shut with more force than she intended. She winced and gingerly opened it up again, relieved to see the screen had survived the outburst of her anger. She was even more relieved that Ruby wasn’t home. The brunette had left in a whirlwind of make-up, perfume, and a ridiculously short dress, shouting something about Dot having the following day off work over her shoulder.

Emma stood from the couch (her bed) and headed to the fridge. Opening it, she grabbed a bottle of beer, noting as she did so that she should probably buy some more. The problem was she didn’t have any ID and looked so young that she was unlikely to get served. Popping off the cap, she returned to her bed (the couch) and flicked on the television. No sooner had she done so, the landline started ringing.

Emma hadn’t even realised Ruby had a landline but she stood to answer it nonetheless.

“Hello?”

“Emma?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Regina?”

“Yeah.” The brunette sounded tired. “Is Ruby there?”

“No, she’s out with Dot.”

“Ah,” Regina said. “That explains why she didn’t pick up my calls. Do you happen to know what shift she’s working tomorrow?”

“Afternoon,” Emma said. “Why?”

“Henry’s got the pox,” Regina sighed. “He can’t go to school nor the childminder’s and I have a crucial meeting with a new client. I was wondering if Ruby was able to look after him.”

“I’m sure she’d say yes,” Emma said. She knew the brunette was besotted with the little boy. And she had to say she couldn’t blame her. Henry was rather adorable.

“I’d think so too,” Regina said.

“Oh, hang on. Dot’s off work tomorrow. I don’t think they were planning to come back here tonight,” Emma said, remembering the quip Ruby had made about Emma not throwing any wild parties whilst she was home alone. She had flinched when the brunette used the word home.

“Damn,” Regina murmured. “Ok, well, thanks for your help.”

“I’ll watch him.”

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“Excuse me?”

“I’ll swap my shift and watch him,” Emma said, not quite sure how she was going to do what she had just offered but continuing anyway.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “I had the pox when I was Henry’s age and it’s miserable. I’d be happy to watch the scratchy little man.”

“Are you sure?” Regina asked. “I don’t want you to lose out on earnings. I’ll pay you if -,”

“No.”

Regina bit her lip. From the harsh tone, she knew she had offended the blonde and immediately wished she could turn back time.

“No,” Emma said more gently. “I’ll just swap my shift so I won’t be missing out on any hours. Plus I haven’t had a chance to work up to closing before. It’s about time I learn what that entails.”

“Are you really sure about this, Emma?” Regina asked. “Henry’s … whiney.”

“Trust me, I’ve had a lot of experience with taking care of sick kids,” Emma said.

“Do you have lots of siblings?”

“Something like that,” Emma muttered, thinking back to all the foster homes she had passed through. She’d stopped counting how many ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ she had lived with when she reached twenty. She had been nine years old.

“Ok, well I’ll drop him round before work tomorrow. It’ll be about seven,” Regina said, focusing Emma once more on her current life rather than the painful past.

“Perfect,” Emma said. “I’ll see you both then.”

“Thank you so much Emma. You really are a life saver.”

The line went dead and Emma replaced the handset. Sitting back down on the couch, Emma took a long drag of her beer and un-muted the television.

So … that was happening. Emma Swan. Street rat turned bus-girl turned childminder. She shook her head in mild disbelief, wondering what on earth would come next in her life.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: More Henry and Emma time. Oh and some Emma and Regina conversation too.

Emma chewed nervously on her thumb as she leaned against the doorframe. Henry was bundled up on the couch, tears streaking his reddened, spotty cheeks. Marlo was clutched in one hand and the other gripped a juice carton. As Emma watched, he glanced towards the front door again, his eyes downturned and despondent when he saw that yet again, it was closed.

It had been one hour since Regina had dropped Henry off in a whirl of instructions, hugs, and expensive perfume. No sooner had the door snapped shut behind the woman Henry began to cry. Emma had done all she could think of to console the sick child but at that moment she was feeling rather helpless. Henry had at last allowed her to settle him on the couch but he continued to sniffle and cry at his mother’s absence. As Emma watched him, the straw of the carton reached his lips and he sucked slowly, the pleasant taste of the sweet liquid not even registering as he sat, waiting.

“Hey, kid,” Emma said, walking back into Henry’s line of sight. “Look what I found.”

She placed the plate of cookies down on the table and smiled widely. Henry looked at the food and then up at Emma.

“No, thank you,” he whimpered, burrowing further under the blanket and sticking his thumb into his mouth.

Emma hesitated before she sat herself down next to Henry. Leaning forwards, she picked up a cookie and nibbled on the corner of it. She was still getting used to eating regularly and the sweet treat melted delightfully over her tongue.

“Mmmmm, delicious,” she said, waving the half eaten cookie in front of Henry. “I think I might get some milk to go with this. Would you like some, Henry?”

“No.”

The answer was so quiet Emma almost missed it. So she decided to pretend that she had and less than a minute later reappeared from the kitchen with two plastic tumblers of milk. She placed one on the table besides the plate and dipped her own cookie into the drink. Henry’s puffy eyes followed her movements as she ate the rest of the cookie. She said no more, settling back on the couch and turning her attention to the television where an overly bright cartoon was playing. Henry’s eyes however, were now trained on the food in front of him.

“Emma?”

“Yes,” the blonde said, smiling to herself.

“Can I …,” he trailed off.

Emma nodded and reached forward. Picking up the plate of cookies, she balanced it on her knee and then handed over the milk. Henry’s little hands wrapped tightly around the drink as he raised it to his lips. With a white moustache, he looked up at Emma with a small smile and then reached for a cookie.

“When’s Mama coming back?” Henry asked through a mouthful of crumbs seconds later.

“After work,” Emma said.

Henry’s forehead creased and his hand, still gripping Marlo, reached up to scratch a pox on his cheek.

“No, sweetie,” Emma said, gently stopping the movement. “You can’t scratch them.”

“But they hurt,” Henry protested, his bottom lip wobbling.

“I know,” Emma said. “But if you scratch them they’ll take even longer to go away and then you’ll have to stay here with me instead of going to nursery and your childminder’s.”

“I want to stay here,” Henry said, his fingers returning to the red skin.

“But you don’t want to be sick for ages do you?” Emma pointed out, her own hand tugging Henry’s from the sores.

“I get cookies when I’m sick,” Henry reasoned.

Emma swallowed. Oh dear. “Are you not allowed cookies?”

She really, really didn’t want to get on the wrong side of Regina Mills. Emma guessed that the brunette was not a woman to be crossed and doing something incorrectly when it came to her son seemed like a sure fire way to do so.

“Auntie Ruby gives me cookies,” Henry said. “But Mama doesn’t like it when I eat too many. She says it makes me hyper.”

Great, Emma thought. A hyperactive, sick child. As she looked at the boy however, she thought hyper was one of the least accurate ways to describe Henry in that moment. His eyes were still red-rimmed from crying, although the tears had stopped at last. He looked tiny, dwarfed by the large nest of blankets Emma had prepared for him. Just his poxed face stuck out of the top, tired and pale. As Emma looked at him, a trail of slime began to edge down from his nose. He sniffed ineffectually and Emma quickly reached for a tissue.

“Thanks,” Henry said as he reached for a second cookie once he was mucus-free.

“No problem, little man,” Emma smiled, relieved that Henry seemed to have gotten over Regina leaving and accepted that he was with Emma for the day. “Now, shall we put on a movie for you to watch?”

Henry nodded and Emma rummaged through the bag Regina had dropped off. It was full of Tupperwares containing vegetable and fruit based snacks, story books, and DVDs. Henry selected The Jungle Book and settled back into his cocoon of warmth as Emma set up the movie. Returning to the couch, Emma gently pulled Henry’s scratching fingers away from the back of his neck and smiled kindly.

“If you don’t stop, I’ll have to tape oven gloves to your hands.”

* * *

Ruby tapped her foot as she waited for the milk to heat up. When it reached the right temperature, she swirled it around the jug before expertly tipping it into the dark coffee. With a flourish of her wrist, a beautiful leaf emerged on the frothy surface. Smiling in satisfaction, she turned around and placed it in front of the customer. The man didn’t even blink. He just picked up the plastic lid, snapped it into place, and walked out.

“You’re welcome,” Ruby muttered under her breath.

Luckily her bad mood didn’t last long and she grinned as she saw her best friend side-stepping the rude customer as she entered the diner. Regina brushed the snowflakes from the shoulders of her coat and walked towards the counter.

“How’s Henry?” she asked as she slid onto a stool.

“I’ve not been up since three,” Ruby admitted. “We’ve been crazy busy today thanks to this ridiculous snow. Everyone seems to want coffee and pie and refuses to leave even once they’ve finished.” She glowered at the full booths, the chatter reverberating off the walls and making her head pound. She knew that extra bottle of wine the night before had been a mistake.

“I wish I could have been inside eating all day,” Regina grumbled. “This case is making me want to stick pencils in my eyes. Or my client’s eyes actually.”

Ruby laughed. “Go and give that itching bundle of joy upstairs a hug and you’ll feel better.”

Regina smiled and nodded. Snagging a muffin from the cake stand, she made her way through the crowded diner and into the back corridor. The calm and darkness were welcoming and she let herself relax for the first time since she had left Henry that morning. She wished she could have taken the day off to be with her sick son but the meeting she had attended was not optional. Cora Mills would not have accepted even her own grandson’s illness as an excuse. Regina was just grateful Emma had offered to take care of him.

She had been somewhat taken aback by the offer at first. She had been even more surprised when she realised her own feelings towards Emma’s suggestion. It usually took her a long time to trust anyone when it came to her son but somehow, in a mere three weeks, she was already confident that her son would be safe and well cared for with the young blonde. Emma might not have been able to look after herself well, (at least, Regina assumed that was how the blonde ended up on the streets), but she certainly acted impeccably around her son.

Therefore Regina wasn’t worried in the slightest when she entered Ruby’s unlocked apartment and couldn’t see nor hear her son anywhere. After a glance around the living room and a scan of the kitchen, Regina quickly deduced that the only place left for Emma and Henry to be was her friend’s bedroom. Finishing her muffin she gently pushed the door open.

The room was dark but a shaft of yellow light from the living area illuminated the scene before her. Emma, dressed in faded jeans and an old sweater, was curled up on top of the comforter, her eyes closed and her breathing soft and deep. Henry’s little head poked out from beneath the covers, his brown hair splayed over the pillow and his spotted face relaxed and serene. As Regina stepped further into the room, she realised Emma’s hand was resting on her son’s chest, his fingers curled tightly around her own.

Regina’s cell rang, the trilling sound high and startling in the quiet apartment.

“Shit,” she said, stumbling back out of the room and pulling the door shut. “What?” she snapped into the receiver.

“Oh, I’m sorry to disturb you,” came Mary Margaret’s anxious voice. “It’s just … Mrs Mills asked me to remind you that the documents for the Turner case are due tomorrow morning at nine.”

“I know,” Regina replied tersely. “And you can tell my mother, whom I know is standing next to you right now, that I’m perfectly capable of remembering my duties and I would appreciate it if she would let me attend to her grandson now.”

She ended the call and threw the cell back into her bag with a sigh. The soft click of a door behind her told her she was no longer alone.

“Hi,” Emma said sleepily. “Long day?”

“It’s not over yet,” Regina said, her hand pushing back some loose hairs from her tired face as she turned to smile at the blonde.

“Sorry,” Emma offered. “Would you like a cup of tea or coffee before you go?”

“Is Henry still asleep?”

“Yes,” Emma nodded as she walked to the kitchen and filled up the kettle. “He could barely keep his eyes open after dinner but he wouldn’t let me leave him. I was just planning to lie next to him until he fell asleep but I guess I was more tired than I realised.”

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” Regina said, glancing at the clock and noting that it was almost eight in the evening. “Work was … well, yeah. I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” Emma said. “We had a fun day. At least, I had a fun day. Henry was just scratching the entire time. I tried to stop him as much as I could but -,”

“It’s fine,” Regina assured. “And thank you so much again for doing this, Emma. And for feeding him. You didn’t have to.”

“I couldn’t let him starve now, could I?” Emma smiled, pouring boiling water over two tea bags. “And anyway, I just went down and grabbed a couple of slices of Granny’s lasagne. It was no big deal.”

“And he ate it?” Regina asked, eyebrows raised.

“Every last bit, why?”

“He doesn’t usually eat any lasagne but mine,” Regina said. “It’s kind of my specialty dish.”

“Oh really?” Emma said, handing over a cup of tea and leading the way out to the living room which was still strewn with the toys, books and games she and Henry had entertained themselves with all day. “I hope I get to try it some day.”

Emma bit her lip. She had not meant to say that and was immensely pleased her back was to Regina so the brunette wouldn’t see the pink rising up her cheeks. She placed her tea on the coffee table and began to gather up the mess, trying to calm the colour in her face.

“Yes, perhaps you could come over for dinner some time as a thank you for looking after Henry.”

“Really?” Emma asked, forgetting her blush and turning to stare at the brunette.

“Of course,” Regina smiled. “I’m very grateful to you, Emma. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t offered to look after Henry today.”

“It was nothing,” Emma shrugged, stacking up the books and placing them back in Regina’s bag . “You don’t have to cook for me to say thanks. I was happy to do it.”

“Maybe I want to cook for you,” Regina said.

Seemingly both women’s internal filters were on holiday for the time being as Regina mentally kicked herself for what she had said. The blonde’s cheeks grew redder still and Regina noted a familiar darkening of her bright green irises. Interesting, she mused, still berating herself for being so forward.

“You … you want to cook for me?” Emma frowned. She couldn’t remember last time anyone had cooked for her. Lily wasn’t the domestic type.

“To say thank you, yes,” Regina nodded.

“Oh.”

There was a pause and Emma sipped her tea, not sure quite what to say next. She didn’t have to come up with anything however because seconds later, Regina spoke.

“It’s not because I feel sorry for you,” Regina blurted out.

The mug lowered slowly onto the table and Emma turned to look at the brunette. Regina swallowed thickly when she felt the steely gaze on her. It both amazed and terrified her how quickly the young woman’s expression could change.

“And why would you feel sorry for me?” Emma asked, her tone icy and her eyes hard.

Shit, Regina thought. Way to go and insult the woman who’s just been caring for your son all day.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Regina said quickly. “I don’t feel sorry for you.”

“Don’t you?” Emma asked, leaning back against the couch and looking appraisingly at Regina. She could feel the anger rising within her but tried hard to keep it at bay. “I can see why you would. I’m just the beggar on the street who happened to get a crummy job in your friend’s diner, wiping down tables and cleaning dirty plates. I sleep on my employer’s couch and everything I own in the world is in that cardboard box over there.”

Regina glanced over to where Emma was pointing. A small box was stacked against the wall, the edge of a old blanket flapped over the side and a plastic bag resting on the top. Shiny black shoes sat beside it. Regina thought they looked new, but cheap.

“I have no prospects,” Emma continued, and Regina turned back to face her, “no future, and the best I can hope for is to save enough of my earnings to afford the rent of some rat-infested apartment miles out of town where I’ll spend most of my time because I have no friends and nothing to do with my life. I feel sorry for me so I hate to think what some high flying corporate lawyer sees. I mean, why did you even let me look after Henry? Surely I’m not the sort of person you want him around?”

Regina blinked, stunned. She didn’t know what to say to the blunt honesty she had just been faced with. She didn’t know how to respond to the young woman now sitting rigidly on the end of the couch. Emma was hurting, of that she was sure, but the cold exterior gave the impression that she couldn’t care less what Regina herself thought. That said, if Emma didn’t care, why did she become so defensive whenever Regina said something which offended her? An all too common occurrence, it seemed.

“You’re great with Henry,” Regina began, her tone steady and measured. “He doesn’t warm to many people as quickly as he has with you. The two of you clicked and I’m really glad you did. I’m also grateful that you offered to look after him today. He needed to be with someone he liked and trusted and that also needed to be someone I trusted.” Emma’s eyebrows rose. Regina smiled softly and continued. “I don’t know you, Emma. I’ve only had a handful of conversations with you, in fact. But you’re a good person. I trust you with Henry. And yes you did end up on the streets and clearly something in your past went very wrong for that to happen. But you’re trying to get your life back together now, right? You want better for yourself and you’re working hard to get there. Why wouldn’t I want my son to spend time with a strong, determined young woman?”

“You really think that?” Emma asked. “You really think I’m a good influence on him?”

“I think Henry could learn a lot from someone like you,” Regina nodded. “Certainly he can learn things which I would never be able to teach him. I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I’ve never had to fight for anything. It was all just handed to me on a plate. My education, my possessions, my college place. Even my job. You’ve worked for everything you’ve ever had and that’s admirable.”

Emma scoffed. “The clothes on my back, a couple of blankets, a coat, and now my diner uniform? I don’t think there’s anything admirable about that measly collection. They’ve kept me alive, that’s all.”

“And I’m glad they did,” Regina said at once. “Emma, you seem like an incredible person and I know you’re going to turn your life around. Even since that day we met and Henry gave you some money, you’ve changed almost beyond recognition.”

“Well, a hot shower will do that for you,” Emma replied dryly.

“I’m not talking about that,” Regina said. “Although I will admit you do look better.” Emma blushed again. “No, I mean the way you act. You’re more confident, you’re happier, and you seem to have … hope?”

“I have a job and a roof over my head,” Emma said simply. “That’s a damn sight more than I’ve had for the past seven months.”

“Seven months? Is that how long you were ….”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded, answering the unasked question.

“What happened?”

But before Emma could answer, or refuse to answer (she hadn’t decided which), a sleepy voice from the doorway disturbed them.

“Mama?”

Henry rubbed his eyes and yawned, shuffling further into the room where he climbed up into Regina’s lap.

“Hey there, my little prince,” Regina cooed. “How are you feeling?”

“Sleepy,” came the muffled response, his face buried against his mother’s coat. “Can we go home?”

“Yes,” Regina said, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “Of course we can.”

“Am I coming back here tomorrow?”

Regina raised a questioning eye at Emma, who nodded at once.

“Are you sure? What about your work shifts?”

“Ruby’s off in the morning and I’m free in the afternoon,” Emma assured. “Don’t worry, we’ve got this covered. You can leave all his toys and books here too.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, getting ready to stand up with Henry in her arms.

Emma stood too, helping the older woman balance and readjusting her handbag which had slid down her arm. When the little family was ready, Emma crossed the apartment and held the door open.

“Thanks again, Emma. And I’m sorry. If I said anything which offended you, I really didn’t mean it. I think you’re …,” Regina trailed off, a shy smile on her lips.

“See you tomorrow, Regina,” Emma said, watching as the woman walked carefully down the stairs and back towards the diner.

* * *

It was nearing midnight when Henry finally fell asleep. He had cried on and off in the car on the way home. Incoherent sobs about the itching and feeling hot, and wanting more cookies (Regina made a mental note to ask the blonde about that), and missing Emma. He eventually passed out in Regina’s bed after failing to settle in his own. Smiling at the fact that he had at last fallen asleep, Regina took off her glasses and laid them beside the papers, on which she had been trying to focus. But her mind was not allowing much space for work.

Emma’s face swam before her eyes, the thin, pale oval still haunting her hours later. The young woman had tried to hide the pain she had felt at Regina’s words but the brunette knew that she had, yet again, said something to upset her. She hadn’t meant to, of course, but tact had never been Regina’s strong suit. Insulting Emma was the last thing Regina wanted to do. In fact, Regina had been rather surprised when her brain had finally registered what she did want. It had been the moment she saw a smiling Henry sitting on Emma’s back the previous weekend when the realisation of what Regina felt hit her like a thunderbolt. That realisation was followed by a wave of guilt.

She turned to look at the photograph propped on her bedside table and reached out to pick it up. Her finger traced the figures through the glass, a soft smile on her lips. It was a sad smile, perhaps, but the tears no longer fell when she looked down at the faces trapped in the click of a camera.

Henry whimpered beside her and she glanced over to see him settling once more, his thumb in his mouth and Marlo tucked beneath his chin. She smiled and turned back to the picture. Henry was just six weeks old in the image, his head already covered in a shock of dark hair. His eyes, slowly turning to the green shade they now were, stared widely up into the smiling face of his mother. His other mother.

Half of Dani’s face was hidden by her light brown hair which fell forwards but Regina could still tell she was smiling widely, her eyes twinkling with love and happiness as she gazed down into their son’s face. It was the last photograph Regina had of the two of them together. If Regina had known, she would have never stopped capturing their love and the promises for their future together. But she hadn’t. And fate had other plans for the new family.

She put the photo back on her table and gathered up her papers. Slipping soundlessly from the bed, she padded barefoot through to her ensuite and got ready to sleep. When she returned, Henry’s body had gravitated to the warm spot her own had left on the mattress. Smiling, she climbed into the other side of the bed and reached over to turn off the light. The darkness swallowed the room, eclipsing the furniture, Henry, Regina and the photo of Dani. But in Regina’s mind, one face still shone brightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I would love some thoughts on where I’m taking this story … but I am aware the information in this chapter continued to be rather vague. I hope you’re interested to see where it goes though!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I think you guys will like this chapter. Except for the end; you might not like that! Or me after you’ve read it …

Emma ran her fingers over the smooth glass and then rubbed away the faint smears left behind. She turned the object over in her hand and smiled at the shiny surface. It was perfect. The first new thing she had owned in a very long time.

“I can’t accept this,” she had said to Ruby earlier that day, trying to hand the open box back. “It’s too much.”

“Nonsense,” Ruby had replied, shaking her head. “It’s just a crappy cell phone but at least this way you’re contactable.”

“You shouldn’t have,” Emma said, her cheeks reddening. She didn’t like to think of her flatmate going out and buying her something because she didn’t think Emma could afford to do it herself. It was embarrassing.

“I wanted to,” Ruby shrugged. “I knew you weren't going to spend any of your own wages you’re squirrelling away on one and it helps if we can contact our staff.”

“I live upstairs,” Emma pointed out.

“Yes, but sometimes you go out,” Ruby said.

“Rarely, but thanks,” Emma smiled. “You’ve done so much for me already. I really don’t deserve your help.”

It was now Sunday evening and Emma was sat on the couch, admiring the cell phone resting in her hand. Ruby had disappeared down to close up the diner, leaving Emma to play with her new toy. She opened the contact list and laughed at the only entry.

_Ruby Awesome Lucas_  
_Best Supervisor Ever_

Emma quickly typed out a jokey text and sent it to her friend.

Friend? She supposed there was no other way to describe what the brunette had become to her over the past few weeks. She couldn’t imagine where she would be without her kindness and support and regularly found herself looking forward to the time they spent together after the diner closed for the night. The past week they had shared the responsibility of looking after Henry too, a strangely domesticated routine developing between them.

Emma’s thoughts wandered to the sick boy. She hadn’t seen Henry since Friday and she hoped his pox were fading away by now. The weight of the cell in her hand reminded her suddenly that she had Regina’s number and, now she had a phone, could find out exactly how he was doing. The brunette had handed over a list of contact information in case of emergencies and her own personal number had been at the top of the piece of paper. Emma had never used it but now she felt her fingers itching to type out a message.

Could she really do it? Contact the stunning brunette under the guise of asking about her son’s health? Surely a woman as intelligent as Regina would see right through that and know straight away what Emma’s intentions were. But that didn’t stop Emma from wanting to do it. She had never been one to sit back and let things happen around her. Perhaps that was what had gotten her into trouble in the past but she knew if she didn’t at least test the water with the brown eyed beauty, she’d never stop wondering ‘what if?’.

Taking another swig of her beer, Emma walked over to the fridge where the piece of paper had been stuck and entered Regina’s number into her cell. Returning to the couch, she sank back into the pillows and began to write. It took her twenty minutes to word her message perfectly but eventually she pressed send.

* * *

Regina smiled in satisfaction as she heard the glug of wine against the inside of the bottle as she poured herself another glass. Leaving her pristine kitchen, she made her way through to her office and sat down. She pulled the pile of neglected paperwork towards her and began to read.

Henry’s sickness had taken up much of her time that weekend and she knew she wasn’t going to get to bed until late into the night. Not that she was complaining. Despite the circumstances, she had loved spending so much time with her son. Even if he had mostly been scratching and moaning. Now however his sores were reducing and he had drifted off to sleep after his bath and bedtime story without too much hassle.

Regina was barely halfway through her case notes when her cell phone chimed. Grateful for the distraction from what was turning into a particularly mundane company merger, she picked up the iPhone and frowned at the unknown number. Unlocking it, she began to read.

_Hi. It’s Emma Swan from the diner. I was just checking how Henry is getting on. I hope his spots are fading. Let me know if you need anyone to watch him tomorrow._

Regina felt the grin spreading over her face at the message. She didn’t know quite why she was so happy to hear from the blonde but the fact that Emma had enquired after Henry’s health warmed her heart and made something else tingle deep inside her. She replied at once.

_Henry is much better, thank you. I am able to work from home tomorrow so I can watch him myself. Thank you for your offer though and once again I am grateful for all your help this past week. Regina._

Regina had barely reached the end of the next paragraph when her cell buzzed once more. She knew she should play it cool but she couldn’t stop herself snatching up the phone and reading the message at once.

_Glad to hear you’re taking a break. You clearly work too hard. And it was my pleasure; Henry’s a great kid. Emma_

Regina did a double take. A semi colon. Used correctly, no less. Once again Regina found herself wondering what on earth had happened to the blonde to make her end up on the streets. She was clearly educated, intelligent, and hard working. How had her life gone so drastically wrong? Her fingers were typing out a reply before she could stop them.

_Thank you anyway, Emma. I really appreciate it. If you’d like to come over for my famous lasagne some time as a token of my gratitude, I’m sure Henry would like to see you. Regina._

No sooner had the cell phone touched the desk did it light up again. Regina felt her heart flutter before she had even read the words.

_Just Henry?_

Regina felt the blush rising in her cheeks. She hadn’t expected the blonde to be quite so … direct. It wasn’t as if Regina hadn’t been expecting it. She had seen the way the blonde looked at her, the familiar burning in her bright green eyes. But for her to come out and challenge Regina’s intentions so abruptly made the brunette squirm. She had always liked the fiery ones. She smirked as she replied.

_And I would too. How does tomorrow suit you? I know you have Tuesdays off work and I’ll have time to cook. Regina_

Regina put the cell phone down and placed the tips of her fingers together, waiting. She watched the screen patiently but after a full five minutes, it remained depressingly blank. Eventually, she went back to her work, the stirrings which had begun inside her when she had been messaging Emma churning and distracting her until long after midnight when, at last, she finished her tasks and closed her files.

The cell phone was still silent.

* * *

Emma slid the dirty plates into the washer and wiped her hands. Reaching into the pocket of her apron, she sighed when she saw no notifications on her cell. She had texted Regina back the moment she woke up that morning. The long week had caught up with her the previous night and she had passed out beneath her blankets seconds before Regina’s text offering dinner arrived. Now she was nervously waiting for the response, hopefully telling her when and where to go that evening. That was, if the offer hadn’t been retracted.

“No cell phones at work,” Granny said as she entered the kitchen with an order slip for the chef.

“Sorry,” Emma said quickly, dropping the phone back into her apron pocket and hurrying out into the empty diner in search of more jobs to be done.

Not wanting to risk being caught, Emma didn’t check her cell again until she clocked out after lunch. As soon as she signed her name however, it was in her hand. She was momentarily amazing at how dependent she had become on the device in just twenty four hours. Her cell phone from before had barely lasted a week on the streets before it was stolen out of her bag at a shelter. She didn’t have the money to replace it.

A grin spread across her face as she saw a text message waiting for her.

_My apartment is on the corner of 5th Avenue and 67th Street. Ask for the Mills penthouse and our doorman will escort you up. How does 6 suit you? I like to feed Henry early if possible. And there’s no need to apologise about falling asleep. We’ve all done it! Regina_

Shit. How rich was this woman? Ok, so Emma had seen the town car idling outside whenever Regina picked up Henry and she had noted the designer suits, beautiful jewellery and her overall appearance. But Fifth Avenue? That was one of the most expensive streets in the world. And a penthouse? The blonde could only imagine the stunning views over Central Park. Emma walked slowly upstairs through the dark corridor, not even noticing that her flatmate was emerging just as she reached the door.

“What’s so interesting?” Ruby asked, startling Emma into realising she was there.

“Oh, nothing,” Emma said quickly.

Ruby raised an eyebrow. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that, right?”

“I do,” Emma nodded. She might be able to tell when someone was bullshitting her but that didn’t mean she was any good at deceiving other people.

Ruby laughed. “Well, good luck.”

“With what?”

“With whoever is putting that dopey grin on your face.”

Emma stared open-mouthed at her flatmate who waltzed down the corridor without a backwards glance. Was it that obvious? Emma wondered as she let herself into the apartment and began to work out how much money she could spend on a new outfit. There was no way her jeans and old sweater were going to be acceptable attire at the Mills’ Fifth Avenue residence.

* * *

“Henry, have you tidied that board game away yet?” Regina called down the corridor.

There was no reply but a clattering told her that Henry was at last doing the chore she had requested he complete over an hour previous. She shook her head and ducked back into her bedroom. She groaned as she surveyed her bed. The comforter was almost invisible under the piles of discarded dresses; each and every one tried on and rejected until nothing remained in her walk-in closet. Regina huffed in frustration and began to work her way back through the clothes, determined to find something which would be just right for the upcoming evening.

She didn’t hear Henry come in and jumped a little when she saw his hazel eyes locked on hers in the mirror’s reflection.

“Hi sweetheart,” Regina said, bending down and picking him and Marlo up so they could sit on the bed. “What do you think?”

Henry regarded the royal blue dress his mother was wearing for a moment before shaking his head. Regina chuckled and nodded her agreement. The dress was stripped off and a black and white one took its place. Yet again, Henry rejected it.

“Mama, why don’t you just wear your jeans?” Henry asked, scratching at his pox as his mother unzipped a flowery dress he had just sneered at.

“Because we have a guest coming,” Regina explained. “And I want to look nice.”

“For Emma?” Henry asked, bouncing a little in excitement at the mention of the blonde. His joy when he heard his new favourite babysitter was coming to dinner had been almost unparalleled. The last time Regina had seen him like that was when they had seen the baby monkeys at the zoo.

“Yes,” Regina said simply.

It was true. She did want to look nice for Emma. In fact, Emma had been the first woman in over four years whom Regina had wanted to impress. She knew it sounded crazy. She knew the two of them came from completely different lives and had nothing in common. She knew what she was feeling towards the blonde was probably just lust. But then, why hadn’t she told Ruby? Or Kathryn? And why had her heart swelled when she had seen the way Emma interacted with Henry? If what she wanted from the blonde was just … sex, then why did it matter if she got on well with her son?

* * *

Emma tried hard to ignore the sideways looks the doorman shot her in the elevator. She jutted her chin upwards and stared straight ahead, trying desperately not to tug self-consciously at the coat she was wearing. It was Ruby’s, borrowed for the occasion and just a little too big for her. When the elevator doors pinged open, Emma shot out of the confined space and took a deep breath. She didn’t move again until she heard the doors slide shut and the elevator begin its descent. She looked around.

The opulent hallway was covered in cool, grey marble, pictures in lavish gold frames hanging on the walls. A bouquet of fresh lilies billowed from an ornate vase on a glass topped table. Emma hated lilies. She averted her gaze and focused on the only door. Emma ran her hand through her hair one more time and began to walk towards it. She pulled out her cell phone and waited until she saw the digital display change and announce the time: 6:00pm.

The patter of little feet could be heard mere seconds after she knocked, followed by a scuffling and a series of high pitched grunts. Henry evidently couldn’t reach the door handle. The throaty laugh which followed made Emma squeeze her thighs together. After a few more seconds, the door swung open to reveal two smiling Mills’.

“Emma!” Henry cried, running forwards and hugging the blonde’s legs.

“Hi Henry,” Emma said, ruffling his hair and smiling down into his upturned face. The pox had definitely faded but there were still reddened circles on his skin. “How are you feeling?”

“Good,” he grinned. “Mama said you came for dinner.”

“I did,” Emma nodded, looking up and taking in the brunette woman for the first time.

She couldn’t stop her eyes from roving over the woman. Her halter neck black dress clung to her body, stopping mid-thigh and accentuating every delicious curve. Her toned legs were encased in sheer black hosiery but her feet wore no shoes. Emma noted she was a few inches shorter than usual as a result. Her plump lips were the familiar ruby red however and her hair, as always, perfectly styled.

“Come in,” Regina said, stepping back from the doorway so her son and Emma could enter.

The blonde did so with difficulty, one of Henry’s arms still looped around her thigh.

“Is that for me?” Henry asked, spying the bag dangling from Emma’s finger.

“Half of it is,” Emma nodded, reaching in and pulling out the bottle of wine before handing over the remaining gift to Henry.

His eyes glittered in delight as he looked inside. The bag dropped to the floor and the soft toy monkey was wrapped in a tight hug.

“Thank you!” Henry beamed up at her. “He’s my new favourite.”

“I feel bad for Marlo now,” Emma joked.

“You didn’t have to, Emma,” Regina said softly.

“I wanted to,” Emma shrugged. “Oh and this is for you.”

Regina bit her lip to stop herself from admonishing the blonde as she looked at the pinot noir label. She knew the blonde didn’t have the money to be buying either of them gifts but she also knew that saying as much would hurt the blonde’s pride. So she put on her best smile and continued to play host.

“Thank you. May I take your coat?” Regina asked as she closed the still-open door and turned to her guest, noting as she did so that Emma’s pale eyelashes were, for the first time, coated in a delicate layer of mascara.

“Thanks,” Emma said, shrugging the heavy black material from her shoulders.

Regina just about managed to stop a gasp falling from her mouth. The blonde didn’t seem to notice how the older woman had reacted to the reveal, unaware of the white hot desire coursing through Regina’s veins at the sight. Emma’s dress was a vivid fuchsia, startlingly bright against the blonde’s pale skin. Her long hair had been released from its usual pony tail and curls cascaded down her back, a messy waterfall Regina was just itching to run her fingers through. Composing herself however, she opened the closet door, hung up Emma’s coat, and then led the way into the cavernous kitchen.

“Wow,” Emma murmured as she entered.

Regina wasn’t sure whether the reaction had been due to the size of the room or the delectable smells filling the air. She decided she didn’t care. She wanted to impress Emma. The blonde made her way over to the breakfast bar and took a seat without being offered. Regina decided she didn’t care about that either. As long as Emma was comfortable.

“Wine?” she asked.

“Yes please,” Emma responded, helping Henry up onto one of the bar stools beside her as she spoke.

Seconds later the most beautiful wine glass Emma had ever seen appeared before her. Her fingers trembled as they reached out to take the elegant stem and she closed her eyes in bliss as the rich scent caught in the wide bowl filled her nostrils. The taste was equally sublime.

“Dinner will be about ten minutes,” came Regina’s quiet tone, her eyes dark as she watched the blonde sipping her drink.

“Fine,” Emma smiled. “Anything I can do to help?”

“No, everything is under control,” Regina said, walking over to the fridge to retrieve the large salad she had made earlier. She had debated making garlic bread but decided against it. She wasn’t sure why. No, that was a lie. She knew exactly why she had chosen not to prepare that particular dish but she was trying very hard not to think about her reasoning. This isn’t a date, she reminded herself as she turned back to her guest and smiled at the sight.

Henry had somehow clambered into Emma’s lap and his legs were now wrapped around her waist. The blonde’s thin arms were looped around his back, supporting the boy whose face was rapt with concentration. His fingers were fiddling with something hanging around Emma’s neck. Regina hadn’t noticed the small silver disc which hung there before but as she moved past the two towards the dining table she glanced surreptitiously at it.

“How was your day?” Regina asked as she returned to the oven and bent to check the lasagne.

Emma swallowed thickly, forcing herself to tear her eyes away from the tight material stretched across Regina’s ass and focus again on the boy sat in her lap.

“It was fine. Not too busy,” Emma replied. “How was working from home?”

“Well, let’s ask Henry that question, eh?” Regina said, picking up her own wineglass and taking another sip. “Henry, what happened to Mama’s work today?”

Henry blushed and concentrated extra hard on the necklace still between his fingers. Emma smothered a giggle.

“Henry,” the blonde said gently. “What happened?”

“My juice carton broke,” came the mumbled reply.

“Oh dear,” Emma said, looking up to see an amused expression on Regina’s face.

“It exploded all over my papers,” Regina explained. “I’ve never seen such a guilty look on a four year old’s face before.”

Emma chuckled. “Were they salvageable?”

“Nope,” Regina replied. “I’ve had my assistant print off a new set for me ready for tomorrow. The blackcurrant stains just don’t send the professional message I want to display to my clients.”

Emma laughed just as the oven timer pinged. Whilst Regina busied herself with removing the dish, Emma tightened her grip around Henry and stood from the stool. Together, they made their way to the dining area where Henry instructed her where he wanted to sit. Once he was safely in his chair, Emma took the seat opposite, leaving the head of the table free for Regina.

“More wine?” Regina asked as she laid the bubbling dish down. “Henry, don’t touch,” she added at the combined look of curiosity and hunger on her son’s face.

“Please,” Emma nodded. “This smells amazing, Regina.”

“Thank you,” Regina smiled, as she topped up Emma’s drink. “I love to cook.”

“I love to eat,” Emma replied.

Regina laughed but her eyes darted to the blonde’s body. The scoop neckline of her dress both exposed and accentuated her collarbone, the sharp jut beneath her skin making Regina think the blonde wasn’t eating nearly enough. Even her wrists were bony, a solitary bangle Regina recognised as Ruby’s dangling loosely from one.

After plating out Henry’s portion and spreading the food around to ensure it cooled quickly, Regina heaped a portion onto Emma’s plate.

“Trying to fatten me up?” the blonde remarked as the generous dish was laid in front of her.

Regina blushed. “Sorry,” she said at once, reaching to take the plate back. But Emma’s slender fingers closed around her wrist, stopping the moment.

“It’s fine,” Emma assured her, searching out Regina’s gaze and smiling reassuringly once their eyes locked. “I love lasagne and I’m sure this will be the best I’ve ever tasted. I’m planning to eat every last morsel.”

Regina’s cheeks felt like they were on fire but that was nothing compared to the sensation in her wrist. Where Emma’s skin lay against hers, flames were licking every nerve ending. She wanted to pull back, to get as far away as possible. But she also never wanted to contact to break.

It did, however, when Emma released her wrist and began to serve first Henry, then Regina, and finally herself, some salad. Regina sank slowly into her chair and watched as lettuce leaves fluttered onto her plate.

* * *

Emma knew her dress was clean but she still thought she was going to leave a mark somehow on the spotless cream couch on which she had been told to sit. She marvelled as she sipped her red wine (a bad idea in anyone’s mind) how Regina had managed to keep the stunning penthouse so clean with a young son. Hoards of servants, probably, Emma mused. She looked around the large living room, taking in the toy chest pushed neatly behind the television which was the only sign a child lived in the house at all. Well, that and the photographs. There were framed prints of Henry on every surface. Some of just the boy, some with his mother, some with friends, and a couple with a woman Emma could only assume was Regina’s own mother. Just as she was wondering about Regina’s father, who appeared to be absent from all photographs, the brunette herself reappeared.

“He’s asleep,” she said, plucking her discarded wine glass from the coffee table and sinking elegantly onto the other end of the couch.

“You have a beautiful home,” Emma said, looking around once more. “How long have you lived here?”

“Five years,” Regina replied.

“You bought a place on the Upper East Side when you were twenty-four?”

Emma hadn’t meant to ask such a blunt question but now she had, she realised she was curious about the answer, no matter how rude it sounded.

“We did,” Regina nodded.

“We?”

“My wife and I.”

Emma swallowed. So there it was. Proof that Regina, as she had suspected, was gay. And the revelation that the woman was unavailable. Not that she had ever exactly been attainable to a street rat like Emma, the blonde reminded herself, but it still felt like a punch in the gut.

“Oh, congratulations,” Emma said, her voice hollow. “It’s a wonderful place to raise your son.”

“Yes, Henry loves being so close to the park and the fact that we’re minutes away from the zoo is just a bonus.”

“I’ve never been.”

“To the park?”

“Oh no, I … well, I lived in the park,” Emma admitted. She had seen far more of Central Park than she would have liked and knew many more of its dark secrets than the tourist guides ever dared to reveal. “I meant the zoo.”

“You’ve never been to New York Zoo?” Regina said, choosing to ignore the tidbit she had been given about the blonde’s life on the streets.

“I’ve not been in town long,” Emma shrugged. “And didn’t exactly have a disposable income.”

Regina managed a small smile but her heart ached for the sadness etched in the corners of the green eyes.

“Where were you before?”

“Florida,” Emma said.

“The sunshine state,” Regina nodded.

“Hardly.”

Something dark crossed across Emma’s face and Regina felt her heart skip a beat. She didn’t know what the blonde was remembering and she was unsure whether she wanted to find out. Emma had, for a moment, scared her.

“Well, Henry loves the zoo and I’m sure he’d be more than happy to show you around,” Regina said, trying to steer the conversation back to happier topics.

“Oh really?” Emma asked, a playful tone miraculously back in her voice as if the previous, painful thoughts had never entered her mind. “You think he’d accept me as his zoo date?”

“I think we both would,” Regina said, draining her wine glass without breaking eye contact with the blonde.

“I thought you said you were married,” Emma frowned.

“I was,” Regina nodded, her face hardening slightly. “But I’m not now.”

Emma opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Emma got the feeling that was not an avenue either woman wanted to discuss more that evening. She closed her mouth again and the brunette offered her a small smile. Regina leaned forward and placed the empty glass on the table besides Emma’s own.

“Another?”

“I’d better not,” Emma said, glancing at the grandfather clock and making a mental note to ask Regina where on earth she got the beautiful but ridiculously large and old-fashioned piece. “It’s getting late.”

“It’s nine thirty,” Regina replied.

“I know but I think I should leave.”

“You don’t have to,” Regina said, her voice soft. “I mean, I don’t want you to go.”

Emma bit her lip, the teeth digging almost painfully into the pale flesh. “I know,” she said at last. “But that’s exactly why I need to.”

Regina considered the blonde before her. She looked determined yet regretful, her eyes wide and flickering with so many complex emotions Regina was struggling to identify them. Lust, was obvious. As was regret, although about what, Regina wasn’t sure. There was also doubt, intrigue, and something Regina thought for a moment looked like fear.

“Ok,” Regina said after a moment, rising from the couch and smoothing out invisible wrinkles in her dress. “I’ll show you out.”

Emma stood too and followed the brunette through the penthouse. She hadn’t had the full tour but she could tell the stunning interior design continued down the hallway to, presumably, Henry’s and Regina’s respective bedrooms. A door on her right stood ajar and Emma glimpsed a dark wooden desk and an iMac. Regina’s office, she guessed.

When Emma was finished surreptitiously snooping she turned her attention back to where Regina was retrieving Emma’s (Ruby’s) coat from closet and holding it out so Emma could slip into it.

“Thanks again,” Emma said, flicking her hair out from beneath the coat’s collar. “That lasagne was really delicious and I’m glad Henry is getting better.”

“It was my pleasure, Emma,” Regina said, her hands clasped behind her back and her right foot rubbing up and down her left calf. She hoped it didn’t look too obvious how hard she was trying not to move towards the blonde.

Emma turned to the door and her hand rested on the cool golden handle. Her brow knitted together however and she spun back around. Regina seemed unsurprised.

“Can I see you again?”

“I’ll see you at the diner on Friday, I suspect,” Regina said, her lips tugging slightly into a smile.

“I know, but I mean … maybe, we could go for dinner some time? I … I had a great time tonight and I’d like to take you out. I’d offer to cook but I can’t so ….”

She tailed off, her cheeks colouring in embarrassment as she realised how badly she had delivered the invitation.

Regina hesitated for a fraction of a second before she decided to put the blonde out of her misery.

“I’d love to, Emma,” Regina said. “Are you busy on Saturday afternoon? Perhaps we could go to the zoo and then after Henry has his dinner, you and I could eat something together. Just the two of us.”

“Sounds great,” Emma said, a wide smile on her face.

“Perfect,” Regina said. “Well, I guess I’ll see you on Friday too.”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “See you on Friday.”

It was a split second decision and Emma didn’t quite know what made her do it. All she knew was that suddenly her lips were pressed against the impossibly soft skin of Regina’s cheek and her nose was filled with the heady scent of the older woman; an enticing mix of red wine, spices, and cherries. She heard a sharp gasp and pulled back. Green eyes met brown for a moment before Emma turned away.

“Goodnight, Regina.”

“Goodnight, Emma,” Regina said just as the door snapped shut behind the blonde.

* * *

Emma was glad she was walking home. The cold New York air gave her a chance to clear her head. She was also glad she wasn’t going to have to sleep outside that night. She glanced into the dark park just as she passed the entrance she used to take to her old tunnel and hurried on, focusing instead on the magical evening she had just shared with Regina Mills.

Emma wasn’t sure what exactly she had expected when she turned up at the penthouse that evening but to discover that the older woman was genuinely interesting in getting to know her, in … dating? her. That had been a surprise. Emma couldn’t for the life of her see what the gorgeous woman saw in her but she wasn’t going to complain, not if it meant spending more time with the brunette and her adorable son.

Still high on the excitement of the evening, Emma let herself into the back door of the dark diner and shuddered in delight at the warmth which enveloped her chilled frame. Briefly wondering how on earth she had survived three months of the New York winter before Ruby had offered her the couch, she made her way up to the apartment she was starting to call home.

As soon as she entered however, Emma stopped dead.

Granny was sat on the couch, her eyes stony. Ruby was stood behind her, arms folded and her eyes red-rimmed. On Granny’s lap was a piece of paper. Emma’s criminal mug shot stared up at her, the cold narrow eyes judging her future self. Emma slumped back against the apartment door and a single tear rolled down her cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ok so firstly, yes the cliff hangers are back. And secondly, I wanted to write a fic where both women knew they were gay from the start and neither women are denying their attraction to each other. The problems facing Emma and Regina in this fic go far beyond the sexuality and I want to explore them in more depth over the fact that they find each other sexy as hell!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delay. Genuinely didn’t mean to leave you hanging. Got distracted by some hot guys. But I’m back now!!!
> 
> Trigger warning for vague descriptions of rape, at least, the start of a rape.

 

Emma leaned heavily against the door and closed her eyes.

“I can explain.”

“Really?” came Granny’s sneering tone. “Ok then. I’d love to hear how you accidentally forgot to tell me you had served time for handling stolen goods. It’s the first thing that comes up when you google your name, by the way. Something I hadn’t gotten around to doing before this afternoon. Please, delight us with your excuses.”

Emma slowly opened her eyes and glanced first at Granny and then at Ruby. The brunette was chewing her thumb, a habit Emma had noticed only occurred when her friend was upset. It was obvious she had been crying and her face was red and blotchy. Emma felt a wave of guilt crashing over her.

“I was eighteen,” she began. “I was an idiot. I was talked into doing something really stupid by my ex and then he left me high and dry. It was a mistake. A stupid mistake which has haunted me ever since. But I did my time, I learnt my lesson, and now I’m trying to make a better life for myself.

“You lied to me,” Granny said icily. “You didn’t even lie by omission. I specifically asked you if you had a criminal record and you said no.”

“Would you have hired me if I had said yes?” Emma shot back.

“No,” Granny replied. “But I’d have preferred you to be honest with me. I’d have respected you for telling the truth.”

“And I’d still be sleeping in a tunnel,” Emma replied. “I did what I had to do in order to get this job.”

“You lied,” Granny repeated. “I can’t trust you any more.”

Emma’s eyes widened and she took a step towards the couch.

“Wait, what?” she gasped as the realisation of what might be about to happen crashed over her. “You’re not firing me, are you?”

“Of course I am,” Granny said, standing up. “I do not have ex-cons working for me and certainly not those who have lied about their history. Ruby, I suggest you check you have all your belonging before she leaves. Sticky fingers, this one.”

With that, Granny strode past a stunned Emma and out of the apartment. The door slammed shut, the hollow sound echoing through the silent space.

Ruby was still rooted to the spot, unable to move. Daze-like, Emma walked to the couch and sank onto it, her head in her hands and tears spilling from her eyes. How had today gone from one of the best in her life to one of the worst in a matter of minutes? She cried harder as she realised what losing her job would mean. She wouldn’t be earning any more money. She couldn’t stay in the apartment, not now. She’d have to go back to the streets. She’d have to go back to her tunnel. Alone. Again.

The couch dipped beside her and slowly Emma raised her teary eyes to meet Ruby’s. The brunette was crying too.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered, hurt and confusion etched on her face.

“Would it have made a difference?” Emma asked. “You heard what your granny said. She was never going to hire an ex-con and I understand that. There’s a reason I lied in the first place. I know people don’t trust us. They think we’re all thieves and con-artists and I guess they’re right. I might not have stolen from you guys but I pretended to be someone I’m not.”

“If you’d been honest -,”

“I would never have gotten the job,” Emma said flatly. “It’s ok, Ruby. I have some money saved up. It’s not enough for rent but I’ll be able to get by for a while.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Ruby implored. “I know what Granny said but I do trust you. And I want you to stay in the apartment even if you’re not working in the diner.”

“I can’t do that,” Emma said, shaking her head sadly. “Sorry, Ruby. I’ve had an amazing time living here with you but I can’t stay any more. I’ll get my stuff together and head out.”

Before she could stand however, Ruby’s hand firmly gripped her wrist. “Stay tonight,” came the whispered request. “It’s still snowing outside. Just … wait until morning. If you really feel like you have to leave, that is.”

“I do have to,” Emma said, sinking back into the couch and wiping her eyes. “But ok, I’ll stay tonight.”

When Ruby woke the next morning, she was unsurprised to find the living room empty. Emma’s box which had been stacked by the wall was gone and the couch cushions arranged perfectly. On the kitchen counter was a small stack of notes, a case of beer, and Emma’s new cell phone. A sticky note held just four words.

_Thank you. I’m sorry._

* * *

Regina checked her make-up in her compact for what felt like the twentieth time as Graham swung the town car onto 56th Street. As soon as they pulled up in front of the diner, she hopped out onto the snowy pavement and hurried into the diner. She had been excited all day about seeing Emma. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had felt like that about someone and it both thrilled and petrified her. As the bell tinkled overhead however, she stopped dead in her tracks.

“Hi Henry,” she said, recovering from the shock of seeing her son in his usual booth. “What are you doing down here?”

“Writing,” came the response without the boy even looking up from the paper in front of him.

As Regina approached, she saw a collection of letters scrawled across the page. She could just about decipher ‘Mama’, ‘Henry’, ’cat’ and ‘tree’, each letter a different colour.

“Very good,” Regina said, ruffling his hair and then placing a kiss to his forehead. “Where’s Auntie Ruby?”

“Right here,” came the voice from behind her as Ruby swept by with plates piled up both her arms.

Once they were deposited with their respective customers, Ruby returned to the booth and sat down besides Regina.

“How was your day?” Ruby asked.

“Busy,” Regina replied. “Where’s Emma?”

Ruby let out a long breath, her mouth drooping downwards and her eyes tinged with sadness and regret.

“She left.”

“What?”

Ruby nodded and took a gulp of the hot chocolate she had just made herself. The sugary drink usually made her feel better but seemed to have had little effect on her the past few days.

“What happened?” Regina asked, her heart thumping in her chest.

“Emma failed to mention that she’d spent time in prison. Granny found out and fired her.”

Regina’s jaw dropped. “Prison? Why?”

“Handling stolen goods.”

“What? Is that how she ended up on the streets?” Regina could feel her brain racing, trying to make sense of what she was hearing. She knew that Emma had had a difficult life but she’d never envisioned … jail.

“I don’t think so,” Ruby said, shaking her head. “It was five years ago. She’d only been homeless since last summer.”

Regina pulled out her cell phone and opened her messages. She hadn’t heard from Emma since their meal together on Monday night. She had been a little disappointed at the silence but now she was simply worried. She began to type.

“Don’t bother,” Ruby sighed when she realised what Regina was doing. “She left her cell here when she left.”

“What do you mean?” Regina asked.

“I bought it for her,” Ruby shrugged. “It was a gift the day before all this shit went down. I guess she didn’t want to take it with her. And it’s not like there are charger sockets in the tunnels of Central Park.”

“You think she went back to the park?”

Ruby shrugged again. “I have no idea. I don’t even know which tunnel she slept in or I’d have gone to look for her. I mean, she had enough money here to get a motel room but knowing Emma she’s back where she knows and in a place that’s familiar to her.”

“Alone?”

“Yeah,” Ruby nodded. “Her friend disappeared to Chicago or somewhere a few weeks ago. As far as I know, she doesn’t have anyone else.”

“Mama?”

Regina started and turned towards her son. She had almost forgotten Henry was there. She wondered how much of their conversation he had been listening to and whether he had understood what he had overheard.

“Where’s Emma?”

Oh.

“She … had to go away for a while,” Regina finished.

“Is she coming to the zoo with us tomorrow?”

Ruby raised her eyebrows at that but said nothing.

“No, sweetheart, I don’t think so,” Regina said, smiling sadly. “But we can still go.”

Henry frowned. “No, I don’t want to go without Emma.”

He went back to his writing practice and Regina turned to Ruby.

“He seems rather taken with our blonde friend,” Ruby remarked. “You guys had plans to go to the zoo together?”

“Yeah,” Regina nodded. “Emma said she hadn’t ever been and since she and Henry get on so well, I invited her to join us.”

“She had dinner with you on Monday didn’t she?” Ruby said. Emma had refused point blank to tell her friend where she was going that night, just pleading with the brunette to allow her to borrow her coat. Ruby had guessed it had been a date and with someone the blonde liked rather a lot and now, when Regina nodded in response, she knew who.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ruby asked.

“Tell you what?”

“That you like Emma,” Ruby prompted.

Regina felt the heat rise in her cheeks again. “I … I don’t know,” she admitted. “I guess I was worried what you would think. It’s not like she and I have anything in common. Even before I found out she was convicted for handling stolen goods, it was clear we came from very different lives. I’d assumed you wouldn’t approve.”

“Just because you’re from different backgrounds, doesn’t mean you can’t be great together,” Ruby said. “And you know I liked Emma too. I can see why you’d be attracted to her as a person as well as the way she looks. I was starting to consider her a friend and I hope she saw me that way too. She was a great girl, Regina. Don’t be embarrassed about how quickly you fell for her.”

Regina’s eyes flicked to her son but he wasn’t listening any more. She tried to keep her love life hidden from him as much as possible. In fact, Emma was the first woman she had ever been interested in whom he had met. Although, to be fair, Henry spotted Emma first.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now,” Regina said. “She’s gone.”

“She might come back,” Ruby said. “Do you think she feels the same about you?”

“She invited me out for dinner,” Regina said. “But I think she’s also wary of our differences. The penthouse rather overwhelmed her.”

Ruby laughed. “It overwhelmed me,” she reminded her friend.

“Dani liked that about it,” Regina chuckled. “She was always a show-off.”

The two women fell silent at the mention of Regina’s wife. They both glanced at Henry, sad smiles on their lips.

“What are you thinking?” Ruby asked eventually.

It took Regina several seconds to work out her answer.

“I’m thinking that it’s too early to move on from Dani. Maybe it’s a good thing that Emma’s gone because I don’t think I’m ready. I can’t do it, Rubes,” she said, turning to her friend with her eyes full of unshed tears. “I can’t let someone else into my life.”

Ruby grasped Regina’s trembling hands.

“Regina,” she said softly. “I hate to break it to you, but I think someone’s already wormed their way in.”

* * *

The tunnel hadn’t changed. Emma hadn’t expected it to. Her possessions were once again stashed safely behind the faulty grate and her money had been hidden between two loose bricks. Well, most of it. She kept some tucked inside her bra, of course. The day after she left the diner, snow lay thick on the ground. She had trudged heavily through it, her feet soaking and chilled to the bone by the time she got home. No, not home. Emma refused to think of the tunnel as such. She was going to get out of there again. And soon. But she couldn’t deny the way her heart warmed slightly when she settled back down in her familiar spot and wrapped her blanket around her.

That had been ten days ago and Emma was still no closer to getting a new job. She had tried a few restaurants but with no resumé, no references, and no social security number (which wouldn’t highlight her criminal past, at least), she had had no luck. The money she had saved was slowly dwindling but at least she was able to buy two hot meals a day. Begging was hard though. The snow had stopped but the rain had begun. The streets were slushy and grey, with New Yorkers hurrying along as fast as they could with no time to reach into their pockets and retrieve a spare quarter.

Emma was trying to decide which area of town to try and look for work next when she heard them. Footsteps. The wet splash of feet through the park’s puddles above her. It was rare but not unheard of for people to venture into her part of the park late at night. But as the footsteps drew nearer, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she realised what day it was.

“You’re back,” he drawled as he entered the tunnel.

Emma struggled to her feet, hurriedly hiding the bundle of money she had been counting under her blankets.

“Yeah, I’m back.”

“I came looking for you,” the man continued. “Most Thursdays I came down here to see if you’d changed your mind. I knew you would eventually.”

“Not by choice,” Emma said stiffly, folding her arms protectively over her body as the man advanced further into the tunnel.

“Well it doesn’t look like you have many choices left,” he leered, his eyes glinting in the dim light. “Come with me and I’ll let you choose what position we do first.”

“No thanks,” Emma spat. “I’ll stay here.”

“Oh will you now?” asked the man, stepping even closer. Emma’s back hit the wall. “But I’m the one with the money and I’m asking you to come with me.”

“And I’m saying no thank you,” Emma repeated. “I thought my friend made it perfectly clear; I don’t do that any more.”

“Once a whore, always a whore,” came the reply. “And I don’t see your friend here now, do you?”

“He’ll be back any minute. He just went out to get some food.”

“Bullshit,” the man laughed. “He hasn’t been here any of the times I came to look for you. He’s left town and he hasn’t come back. No one’s here to protect you, Emma. But you know I won’t hurt you, not if you come with me now.”

His hot breath hit her face, his mouth mere inches from hers. Emma flinched as two hands came up and rested on the wall either side her head. She was trapped.

“Please, Killian,” she whispered. “Please don’t make me.”

Killian Jones chuckled. “Oh I never made you do anything, love,” he said. “You liked it. You liked everything I did to you. That’s why you’re such a good hooker. Most of them just lie there and wait for it to be over. But you, you really get into it.”

“I don’t want to go with you.”

“Fine,” Killian replied. “We can do it right here. Al fresco has never really done anything for me but I want you tonight and if this is the only way then so be it.”

Emma swallowed, her heart hammering in her chest. Killian reached up and began to unbutton her coat.

“Please, I don’t want this.”

“Shut up,” he growled, any patience he had now evaporating. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.”

He tugged Emma’s coat open and shoved it from her shoulders. She shuddered as it hit the floor and not because she was cold. Killian’s fingers reached the button of her jeans and Emma closed her eyes, tears already running down her chilled cheeks.

* * *

“Mama, when are we going to feed the ducks?”

“In a little while,” Regina told her son as she led him down the damp path.

“It’s dark in here,” Henry remarked as they entered the tunnel. “I don’t like this one.”

“It’s a longer tunnel than the last ones, isn’t it,” Regina said, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “But don’t worry. We’re almost at the end already.”

They emerged into the pale February sunlight. After a week of rain, the clouds had finally blown themselves out of town and New York was edging slowly towards spring. Henry ran on ahead, chasing a group of pigeons which were pecking at the ground beneath a tree. Regina smiled and glanced down at her map. She knew she looked like a tourist but she didn’t care.

“Henry, this way,” she called, taking a path which would lead her to the next tunnel.

Henry obediently followed, running to catch up with his mother.

“Mama, how much longer?” he asked.

“We just have a few more to check,” Regina said.

“And then we’ll go to the ducks?”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “And then we’ll go to the ducks.”

They walked along, Henry chatting all the while as they did so. Regina was only half paying attention. Her eyes, all the while, were scanning for a flash of blonde hair. She saw nothing. They had been in the park for almost two hours, walking through every tunnel in the south west corner. She didn’t even know if that was the area of the park Emma had lived in but she had a hunch that it was. Henry was getting restless. Regina hadn’t told him what they were doing. She didn’t want to get his hopes up about finding the young woman. He had mentioned her several times over the past week and every time there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

The path sloped downwards, twisting around a large tree and entered the mouth of one of the longest tunnels in the park. Just as they began to walk towards it, a large group of skateboarding youths came up the ramp, laughing together at some group joke as they powered their way upwards. Henry watched in awe as the larger boys passed him.

“Mama, can I get a skateboard?” Henry asked, turning back to Regina.

“A skateboard? Really?” Regina frowned.

“Yes please,” Henry nodded enthusiastically.

“Well you could always put it on your birthday list,” Regina suggested as they stepped into the darkness.

“But my birthday isn’t until September,” Henry whined. “That’s,” he paused, counting the months in his head, “seven more months to wait.”

“It is but by then you’ll be five and -,”

Regina stopped dead in her tracks, her words dying on her lips. Even before she had seen her face, she knew exactly who the woman was curled up in the bundle of blankets on the floor. Henry knew too, even through the gloom. He glanced up at his mother, a frown of confusion on his little face. Taking a deep breath, Regina walked slowly forwards, Henry clutching tightly to her hand.

“Emma?”

The bundle startled and Regina could sense the blonde’s body tensing beneath her covers. Slowly, the mass of blonde hair emerged upwards until two green eyes blinked blearily through the darkness.

“Regina?”

“And Henry,” the boy piped up, peering around his mother’s leg.

“Hi Henry,” Emma said, sitting up a little and allowing the blankets to fall down.

Regina gasped. Emma’s lip had been split open, a trickle of dried blood was smeared across her chin. The brunette dropped to her knees at once.

“What happened?” she asked, reaching out a hand towards Emma.

“Nothing,” the blonde said, pulling away. “I’m fine.”

“Like hell you are,” Regina scoffed. “Come with me.”

“No,” Emma retorted.

Regina frowned. “Emma, please. You need to get cleaned up. That looks like it needed stitches as well. I guess it’s too late now but I can still make sure it heals ok.”

“I said no.”

The harsh snap in her tone made Regina reel back onto her heels.

“Emma,” Regina repeated. “I want to help you. I don’t know what happened and I don’t have to know. If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine, but I do need you to come with me. Now. Please.”

“Why?” Emma asked. “Why do you care?”

“Why do I care?” Regina repeated. “Emma, I think you know exactly why I care about you.”

“Emma?”

The voice was timid and shy. In the dark Henry couldn’t see exactly what was wrong with Emma but he knew something had happened. He also knew he wanted Emma to go back to their home with them.

“Sorry, kid,” Emma said. “I didn’t mean to get angry.”

“Let Mama take care of you,” Henry said. “She’s really good when I fall over and hurt myself. She can help you too.”

Emma knew her resolve was crumbling as she saw the hazel eyes shining through the darkness. It would be so easy, just to go with Regina and her son. They’d look after her, she was sure of that. But then what? What would happen when she was better? She needed to stay strong. She couldn’t begin to rely on anyone but herself. Emma Swan didn’t need anyone else.

Henry reached forwards and held something out to Emma.

“Marlo makes me feel better when I’m sad.”

Emma bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself crying as she took the toy monkey. She stared down into his stitched smile, his glass eyes friendly and wide. She looked up and was met with an almost identical expression on Henry’s own face. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Ok,” she whispered. “I’ll come. But just for a bit.”

* * *

Regina unlocked the door and stood back. Henry rushed ahead with Marlo and disappeared into the living room. Emma followed, her head hanging low and her tangled blonde hair shielding her face. She put her bundle down by the door and stood there, looking completely lost.

“Come on,” Regina said, reaching for Emma’s hand.

Their fingers laced naturally together and the brunette tugged the young woman gently down the hallway. They continued past the kitchen and living room and turned instead into a bathroom. Regina steered Emma to sit on the closed toilet seat and quickly reached for a first aid kit. Emma just sat there, silent. With an alcohol wipe in her hand, Regina knelt before the blonde. Emma averted her eyes, her cheeks flaming red with a mixture of embarrassment, shame, anger, and … arousal.

Gently, Regina placed a finger beneath Emma’s chin and lifted it. Green eyes snapped shut, squeezing a tear from between the lids. Regina didn’t say anything. She lifted the wipe to Emma’s face and began to clean the dried blood away. When the strong solution touched the cut, the blonde winced but didn’t move. Regina worked delicately and patiently, not stopping until Emma’s pale lip was clean once more. The injury wasn’t as bad as she had expected but in the bright lights of the bathroom, she also noted a dark bruise blooming under one of Emma’s eyes and what looked like finger marks around her neck.

“What happened?” Regina asked when she had used two strips to pull Emma’s lip together.

“You said I didn’t have to tell you,” Emma said, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Right,” Regina nodded. “Ok. Well, do you want to take a shower? I have some clean towels right there and -,”

Regina lost her balance and almost fell backwards as Emma stood up. She steadied herself on her hands and stood too, following the blonde who was marching out of the bathroom and towards the front door.

“Emma, wait. Please,” Regina implored.

“I have to leave,” Emma said, bending down to pick up her belonging. “Thanks for,” she gestured to her face. “I’ll see you around.”

She opened the door but a strong hand landed heavily against the wood and slammed it shut. Emma jumped.

“No.”

The voice was low and firm. Emma didn’t turn around but she knew Regina was standing right behind her.

“Emma, you’re not leaving. It’s freezing cold outside and you’re hurt. Please stay here with us. I want you to stay here, at least until you’re better.”

“I’m not a charity case,” Emma said, spinning around. Her green eyes glinted dangerously. “I can look after myself.”

“No you can’t,” Regina retorted. “Look at you, Emma. You don’t have to say what has happened for me to know that you’ve been attacked. I don’t care who by and I don’t care what led to the attack. But I do care about you. I don’t think you're a charity case, Emma. But I also don’t think you should be sleeping in a tunnel, alone, in New York City.”

“You can’t force me to stay here,” Emma bristled. “No one can force me to do anything.”

“No, I can’t,” Regina nodded, her arms folded. “But I would really, really like it if you stayed.”

“Is Emma staying with us Mama?”

Emma narrowed her eyes at the brunette as if to say ‘cheap trick’. Regina just smirked. Her son had impeccable timing.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Regina replied, never once letting her gaze drop from the angry green eyes before her. “She’s going to be staying here until she gets better.”

“Can we have ice cream?” he said. “You always let me have ice cream when I’m sick.”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “Why don’t you go and see what we have in the freezer and get three bowls out.”

Henry disappeared into the kitchen, leaving the two women alone in the hallway once more.

“I’m not a charity case,” Emma repeated before she dropped her possessions unceremoniously on the floor and followed the small boy.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love you guys so much! And I’m sorry to each and every one of you whom I made cry. It wasn’t my intention I promise!

The door creaked open. He froze. When there was no sound from within, he tiptoed further, his little feet sinking into the soft carpet beneath them. He rarely came in this room. They rarely had guests. So the plush flooring had barely been walked on since it had been installed. The room was still dark, the curtains drawn tightly across the window, but he could make out her shape, curled up in a ball on her side and facing the wall.

The bed was higher than he had thought. He pouted a little until he remembered something. Hurrying quietly from the room, he returned in less than a minute with the stool he used for when he did his big boy wees into the toilet. Placing it down at the edge of the bed, Henry climbed up. Gripping the soft comforter, he hauled himself up and landed heavily on a leg.

Emma sat bolt upright, her eyes wide with fear as she scanned the dark room.

“Sorry!” Henry whispered.

Emma gasped as she realised what had woken her. “Henry,” she said, lying back against the soft pillows and trying to regain control of her heart rate. “You scared me.”

“Sorry,” Henry said again, crawling up the bed until he was sat beside the blonde.

“What are you doing in here?” Emma asked. “What’s the time?”

“I don’t know,” Henry said. He hadn’t learnt to tell the time yet but his mother had promised to teach him soon.

Emma turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table. She groaned.

“Henry, it’s not even five in the morning yet,” she said. “Why don’t you go back to your room and sleep a bit more.”

“I don’t want to sleep in my room on my own,” came the simple reply.

Oh. Emma knew what this was. She herself had crawled into enough beds of older ‘siblings’ seeking comfort in her life to recognise what was happening. She just didn’t know why Henry had chosen her not his mother.

“Did you have a nightmare?” she asked gently, pulling back the duvet and smiling when the boy practically dove beneath the covers, his warm toes digging into her thigh as he wriggled around, trying to get comfortable.

“Yes,” he said.

“Want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Ok.”

There was a moment of silence and Emma closed her tired eyes. Henry had awoken her from the first proper sleep she had had in ten days. Mere seconds after she had lain down on the soft, clean sheets the previous evening had she slipped blissfully from consciousness.

“Do you have bad dreams, Emma?”

“Sometimes,” Emma nodded opening her eyes and looking at the pale face beside her own on the pillow.

“What do you do when you get scared?”

“What do you mean?” Emma asked.

“Who gives you cuddles and makes you feel better?”

Emma’s heart clenched. “Oh. No one, I guess.”

There was another pause. Even through the darkness, Emma could tell Henry was thinking hard.

“You can cuddle me, if you like,” he said eventually.

Emma forced herself to smile but inside she was shattering into a thousand little pieces. She didn’t deserve this kind of love from a child. Henry, for some inexplicable reason, believed wholeheartedly that Emma was a good person. To him, she was someone who would take care of him, and whom he could take care of in return. But she wan’t. She could never be that to this small boy. Emma might have had many siblings growing up but she had let down the one child who needed her most. She couldn’t allow Henry to believe that she wouldn’t do the same to him. Emma wasn’t built for family life. She was designed to be alone.

* * *

Regina wasn’t concerned when she poked her head around Henry’s door later that morning to find his bed empty. She never worried about Henry when Emma was around. Which was strange, she mused as she headed to the kitchen to make some coffee, because she could count the number of people she trusted with her son on one hand.

It was still early on Sunday morning but already Regina’s newspaper had been delivered. She retrieved it from the doorway and walked into the living room, already reading the headlines. Returning to the kitchen to collect her coffee, she soon found herself curled up on the couch, catching up on the latest news and debating with the opinion pieces. Just as she was reaching for a pen to fill in a crossword, she heard the sound of movement from the guest bedroom.

“Morning Mama,” Henry said as he entered the living room a few minutes later, his little hands rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning, my little prince,” Regina said, putting the paper aside and spreading her arms wide so her son could clamber into them. “How did you sleep?”

“I had another bad dream,” Henry said.

“The same as before?”

Henry nodded and stuck his thumb in his mouth, settling down against the reassuring warmth of his mother’s body. Regina kissed the top of his head and looked towards the door. She was unsurprised to see Emma leaning there, watching them.

“Good morning,” she said quietly. “Would you like a coffee?”

“Yes please, but don’t get up. I’ll make it myself, if that’s ok?”

Regina nodded her consent and the blonde disappeared. She turned her attention back to her son who was now fiddling with the buttons running down the centre of her silk pyjamas. Her fingers raked through his unkempt hair and he snuggled closer. She loved Sundays.

Emma reappeared with a steaming mug minutes later and took a seat on the far side of the living room. Regina didn’t say anything. But she did allow her eyes to rove over the toned legs Emma’s sleep shorts left on display. Well, Regina’s sleep shorts. Emma didn’t own pyjamas and had been more than a little embarrassed about asking for some the night before.

“Henry, why don’t you go and get dressed,” Regina said.

“Ok,” the boy agreed, sliding from his mother’s chest and trotting out of the room.

Emma watched him go, if only to prolong the moment she knew she would have to look into Regina’s concerned gaze.

“Sorry about Henry joining you last night,” Regina said after a while.

“It’s ok,” Emma shrugged. It was ok. She and Henry had slept soundly side by side until they had finally awoken, Henry’s arm thrown over Emma’s waist and her own wrapped around his little body.

“Did you sleep well, apart from the intrusion?”

“Yes, thank you.” She managed a weak smile. Her lip hurt a little at the movement but it was worth it to see Regina beaming back at her. Emma wondered how much pain she would put up with to see the beautiful brunette happy.

“Henry and I were going to go to the playground this afternoon, if you wanted to join.”

Emma sighed and put her mug down. She knew Regina was trying to help her but it just made her feel … pathetic. Emma Swan didn’t do pathetic. She was stronger than that. She was better than that.

“Regina, I can’t stay here,” Emma said. “I can’t just … I don’t know, tag onto your family. It’s not fair to you or Henry and, to be honest, I think I should leave.”

“Do you want to leave?” Regina asked.

Emma shook her head. “That’s not the point. I think -,”

“I know what you think,” Regina interrupted, a challenging glint in her gaze. “I asked what you wanted.”

God, this woman was infuriating, Emma thought as she glowered at the twinkling brown eyes before her.

“Regina, thank you for everything you’ve done for me, really,” she began again. “But this isn’t going to end well for anyone.”

“What isn’t going to end well?” Regina asked.

“This. Us.”

“There’s an us?” Regina said with a quirk of an eyebrow.

Emma blushed scarlet. “Well, not yet. Not now. But I thought there might have been, before Granny fired me. At least, I wanted there to be an us.”

“And now?”

“And now I’m back on the streets,” Emma said. “I may have convinced myself that you were even remotely interested in me when I was a bus-girl but now I’m under no delusions. Look around us, Regina. You live in this amazing penthouse on Fifth Avenue and I’ve spent the last eight months in a tunnel. How the fuck is that ever going to work?”

“Please don’t swear in my house,” Regina said calmly. “Henry might hear you.”

“Oh yeah, and then there’s Henry,” Emma nodded, ignoring the scolding she had just received. “How do you think this looks to him, Regina? You’re inviting this street rat into your home who’s been busted up by some disgusting man and now you, what? Want to see what happens between us?”

Forcing herself to move past what Emma had just let slip about her attack, Regina cleared her throat before she spoke.

“I don’t know how this looks to Henry,” she answered honestly. “But he’s a bright kid and I think he sees what I see.”

“And what’s that?” Emma asked. “Someone who needs rescuing from a life of poverty? A loser who can’t get her shit together,” Regina frowned at the swear word, “or just a piece of ass you think you can have whenever you want because that’s all she’s good for.”

Emma dissolved into tears, surprising both herself and Regina as the emotions burst from her. Regina scrambled from the couch and flung herself across the room. Without thinking, she practically climbed into the armchair with Emma, ignoring the way the woman flinched, and wrapped her arms around the sobbing woman. Henry appeared in the doorway and his forehead creased in confusion. Slowly, he made his way to the two women and pulled himself up so he was sat in Emma’s lap. He didn’t know what was wrong but he wanted to help. His little arms curled around Emma and his mother and the three of them sat like that for a long time, the only sound in the room being Emma’s crying.

Eventually, the blonde looked up. Her green eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks were flushed. Henry reached up and wiped one of her cheeks. Regina, after a moment’s hesitation, wiped the other.

“Thanks guys,” Emma sniffed. “Is it ok if I go and take a shower? I think it will do me some good.”

“Of course,” Regina nodded, helping Henry off the chair before climbing off the blonde herself.

Emma ignored the fact that she missed the comforting weight of the older woman on her and instead stood up. She tried to smile but the corners of her mouth felt too heavy so instead she just walked from the room and into the bathroom she had used the night before.

“What’s wrong with Emma, Mama?” Henry asked.

“She’s just a bit upset at the moment,” Regina explained. “But don’t worry, we’re going to make sure she’s safe and happy from now on.”

“Ok,” Henry said. “Can we make her pancakes for breakfast?”

His face looked innocent enough but Regina knew his son was being sly. Pancakes were a monthly treat and they had eaten them last weekend.

“We can have pancakes if you promise to go to bed early tonight,” Regina bargained. “I think I need to talk to Emma without a sneaky little four year old around.”

Henry nodded rigorously and headed straight for the kitchen. Before Regina had even entered, she could hear him clattering about as he pulled out the pan and bowls they’d need to make their breakfast dish.

* * *

Regina half expected Emma to have disappeared whilst she and Henry were at the park that afternoon. What she had certainly not expected was to be greeted with the smell of burning and a hallway full of smoke.

“Stay here, Henry,” Regina said, as soon as she opened the door. The boy obeyed, his eyes wide. “Emma?” she called, moving further into the apartment.

“It’s fine! I’m fine!” came the response.

Regina squinted against the smoke and moved into her kitchen. She could just make out the shadowy shape of Emma walking towards her.

“What happened?” Regina asked as Emma’s face came into focus, a fire extinguisher in her hand.

“I’m so sorry!” Emma exclaimed. “I wanted to do something nice for you guys to say thank you and in my eagerness I’d completely forgotten what a disaster of a cook I am. The fire’s out though and I don’t think there was any damage.”

Regina moved past Emma and opened the windows. The cold air rushed in and tendrils of smoke floated out. She walked back through to the living room and opened the windows there before returning to the hallway. Henry was still there, peeking inside the penthouse with curiosity and fear on his face.

“Mama, what happened?” he asked as his mother reappeared. “Is Emma ok?”

“Emma’s fine, sweetheart,” Regina said, joining him in the smoke-free hallway. “She was trying to cook and it went a little bit wrong.”

“Is that why you tell me I’m not allowed to cook without you?” Henry asked.

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “Sometimes people make mistakes and then there’s a little fire. But don’t worry, Emma put the fire out and now we’re just going to wait out here until the smoke goes away.”

“Ok,” Henry nodded. “Is Emma waiting with us?”

“She should be,” Regina remarked. “Emma?” she called back into the house. “Come out here please.”

The blonde emerged, head down and feet shuffling. She looked remarkably like a child about to be scolded. Regina bit her lip to stop herself from bursting out laughing.

“Hi Henry,” Emma said, leaning against the corridor wall. “How was the playground?”

“I fell off the swing,” Henry said, holding up his hand which had a little graze on it.

“Oh dear,” Emma said, crouching down to take a look. “Well, I’m sure your mom will clean that up for you as soon as the apartment is, erm, safe again.”

“What were you cooking?” Henry asked.

“Pizza,” Emma said. “But then I kinda forgot about it and fell asleep. Regina, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Regina assured her. “Look, the smoke’s nearly gone now and no one got hurt.”

“I just wanted to do something for the two of you to say thank you and since I have no money to order a take-out, I had to try and work with my appalling cooking skills.”

“No money?” Regina frowned. “Weren’t you saving up when you worked at the diner?”

Emma glanced at Henry before answering. “It’s gone.”

Regina’s eyebrows rose. She knew there was far more to the story than those two and a half words but she also knew Emma didn’t want to discuss it in front of the boy. She made a mental note to ask Emma about it when Henry was safely in bed that night.

“Well how about I treat us all to a take-out?” Regina suggested. “Are you still in the mood for pizza?”

“Not really,” Emma shrugged, looking alarmingly like a sulky school kid.

“I want pizza,” Henry piped up.

“Pizza it is then,” Regina smiled. “Let’s go and order some now. Look, the smoke’s cleared.”

The three turned and looked into the now clear corridor of the apartment. Henry smiled and raced off down the hall and into the living room. Emma scrambled to her feet to follow, wanting to see how much damage her good intentions had really caused. Regina entered last, closing the door behind them.

The smell of smoke lingered in the kitchen but the oven unit itself was surprisingly unharmed. Emma let out a sigh of relief when she saw that it still worked and would only need a scrub down.

“I promise never to cook for you again,” she said solemnly, turning to Regina who was closing the windows.

“Does that mean you plan on staying here a while?” she asked, her voice hopeful.

Emma quirked her lips to the side, considering her answer.

“Perhaps,” she said eventually. “But just until I get myself back on my feet, ok?”

“Of course,” Regina nodded with a wide smile. “Both Henry and I are happy to have you here for as long as you wish to stay.”

“Why?” Emma asked.

“Why what?”

“Why are you being so nice to me? I mean, I doubt you're in the habit of letting beggars live in your apartment. Just a month ago you were handing me a couple of dollars on the street and now you’re offering me a bed and a roof over my head. Why?”

Regina was stumped for a moment. To be honest, she didn’t know quite why events had unfolded between herself and Emma in the way that they had. It wasn’t exactly a common occurrence for her to spend time with … beggars, nor to invite them to live in her home. In fact, that had never happened before. So why now?

“Sometimes I can just tell when a person needs to be offered a chance,” she settled on. “I don’t know what happened to you, Emma, but I know you deserve better than what life has handed you. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to be a part of your journey forwards.”

“But why?” Emma asked, still confused as to why this powerful, rich, beautiful woman could possibly be interested in a street-rat like herself.

“I don’t know,” Regina admitted. “But the moment I saw you -,”

“On the street, begging,” Emma interrupted.

“Yes,” Regina nodded, remembering as she did so just how thin and cold the blonde had looked that day. “From that moment, I knew there was something special about you, Emma. Something drew me to you and it wasn’t just … your looks.” Emma blushed. “You interest me. You’re funny and kind and you’re great with Henry. You make me want to learn more about you and if you’ll let me, I’d like to help you turn your life around.”

“I don’t need your help,” Emma replied quickly. “I can find a job on my own.”

“Ok,” Regina said. “But if you do need anything, please know that I’m here for you and I want to do whatever I can to help.”

Emma regarded the woman before her, trying to work out what Regina could possibly gain from her being in the apartment and in her life. She couldn’t think of anything. As far as she could see, the brunette had no ulterior motive.

“Ok,” she said at last. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Regina said. “Now, what topping do you want on your pizza?”

* * *

Henry insisted that Emma read him a bedtime story that night. So, tucked up in bed, he listened with rapt attention as the blonde turned each page of ‘How Mrs Monkey Missed the Ark’. When she had finished, she wished him goodnight and left his room, allowing Regina to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight alone. By the time Regina emerged, Emma was already sat on the couch, finishing off the glass of wine she had enjoyed with their pizza dinner.

“So,” Regina said as she took a seat at the other end of the couch.

“So,” Emma nodded.

A lot had changed since the women had last been in the same spot. Emma thought back of the two weeks she had experienced since their … date? and wondered, once again, how on earth she had ended up staying in a penthouse loft on Fifth Avenue. Regina, on the other hand, was wondering how best to get Emma to tell her what had happened.

“Who hurt you?”

The question was blunt but Regina figured there was no other way. She needed to know. Emma had been expecting her to ask and was ready with her answer.

“Some guy,” Emma shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

“Did he take your money too?” Regina asked.

Emma nodded, turning her face away from the brunette’s curious gaze. She really, really didn’t want to tell Regina what had happened that night in the tunnel between her and Killian. The fact that he took her money was humiliating enough but that he had forced himself on her. She shuddered as the memory washed over him.

“Who was it?” Regina asked, registering the way the blonde had shivered and a heavy weight settled in the pit of her stomach. “Emma, maybe I can help find him. We could even press charges.”

“We?” Emma frowned. “Firstly, there is no ‘we’. It was my mistake and I don’t want you getting involved. And secondly, there is no way I’m going to court.”

“Because your lawyer messed up in Phoenix?” Regina prompted.

“You’ve been googling, I see,” Emma remarked, a slight bite in her tone.

“I may have,” Regina shrugged. “You shouldn’t have served time for your first offence. I don’t know what your public defended did but he screwed you over in that court room.”

“Nothing I could do about it though, right?” Emma said. “It’s not like I had money to hire myself a proper lawyer.”

“Well, this time would be different. I could -,”

“No,” Emma said firmly. “You’re not going to represent me pro-bono and I’m not telling you who did this or what happened. And even if I did, there’s no way we could win the case anyway.”

“You seem to have little faith in my legal abilities,” Regina said.

“No, I have seen enough television to know that working girls never get justice when something goes wrong.”

Regina balked. She had not been expecting that.

“You were -,”

“Can we drop it?” Emma asked, really not wanting to discuss the fact that she’d been selling her body on the streets to feed herself with Regina. “And please don’t look at me like that. It was my decision, my life. Don’t pity me.”

“Are you gay?”

This time Emma was surprised by the blunt question. Even Regina herself seemed a little taken aback by how abrupt she had been.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “Why does that matter?”

“But the guy who hit you was … well, a guy?”

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “Just because I’m attracted to women doesn’t mean I can’t fuck men.” Regina glanced towards the doorway. “Sorry for swearing but frankly that is all it was. Fucking. It meant nothing and the fact that I wasn’t remotely attracted to these people made it much easier. It was just a job, Regina. Nothing more.”

“But why?” Regina asked, still unable to comprehend how anyone could be that desperate for money.

“Because it was the easiest way to survive,” Emma shrugged. “When I first got to New York I met a girl who turned tricks. It sounded awful and I said no when she invited me to join her one night. But after a few weeks on the streets, scraping together a few dollars each day from panhandling, it started to seem like the only option to keep myself alive.”

“Until you got your job in the diner?”

“Actually, I stopped before that. When I met August he and I kinda became a team. He rescued me from … not a nice client, and between us we scraped by from then on. Except for one guy. He’d been the kindest to me out of all the men and he wanted to continue meeting once a week. I’d never had any problems with him until I told him I didn’t want to continue our arrangement. That was just before I moved in with Ruby. And then, when I returned, he found me again.”

The blonde didn’t need to continue for the older woman to know what had happened next. Regina reached out and grasped Emma’s trembling hand.

“You’re safe here,” Regina said, squeezing softly. “He’s never going to hurt you again.”

“And you’re still ok with me hanging out here for a bit?” Emma asked. “Even though you know what I … did?”

Regina smiled in what she hoped was encouragement. “Emma, I don’t care what happened to you before we met. I mean, I want you to tell me, one day, but right now, all I care about is you getting better and stronger and back to the woman who my son loved to spend time with in the diner. That woman is the person I’m interested in knowing, not the one bad circumstances forced you to become.”

“Really?”

“Really. Now, would you like some more wine?”

Emma nodded. “Yes please.”

Regina went to stand up but Emma’s grasp on her fingers tightened and pulled her back to the couch.

“What?”

“Thank you. For everything,” Emma said earnestly.

“You’re welcome, Emma,” Regina said.

The two women looked at each other, eyes scanning the other’s face, trying to read their emotions. It was Regina who made the first move. She leaned towards the blonde and allowed her free hand to cup Emma’s cheek. Their lips brushed in the softest of kisses, Regina careful not to put pressure on Emma’s wound. It was brief, too brief. But when they broke away, their smiles were wider than ever and their eyes dark with arousal.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: picking right up where we left off and let’s find out what happened to Dani …

“What was that for?” Emma asked, her voice hoarse.

“That,” Regina said, standing from the couch and heading towards the kitchen, “was my way of telling you exactly how I feel.”

Emma flopped back against the cushions and closed her eyes. Had that really just happened? Had Regina Mills, one of the sexiest, richest, and most powerful women Emma had ever laid eyes on just kissed her? Emma’s lips still burned from the brief contact and she could feel the heat already coiling between her thighs. Squeezing them together, she tried to regain control of herself. Just because Regina had kissed Emma, didn’t mean anything more would happen between them; that night or ever. Especially since Emma had just admitted that she used to sleep with random strangers for money. She doubted Regina Mills regularly invited ex-hookers into her bed.

The couch dipped beside her and Emma opened her eyes to see Regina had sat back down, much closer than before, and with two full wine glasses in her hands. Regina handed Emma one and smiled reassuringly.

“Yes, that did just happen,” she joked. “And yes, I do want it to happen again.”

Emma’s heart fluttered. So Regina wanted her. At least, wanted to explore what was possible between them. Whatever this was, it wasn’t as one-sided as Emma had feared.

“We have to take this slow,” Emma said after sipping her refilled drink. “I’m not … relationships and me … can you be prepared to be patient?”

Regina smiled softly. “Only if you’ll be patient with me,” she replied. “I don’t have the best track records with relationships either.”

Emma nodded her understanding. Questions raced through her mind and they must have registered on her face as Regina nodded her consent. Emma pondered for a moment as she considered which one to ask first.

“Your wife,” she said eventually. “What happened?”

Regina set her wine glass on the table and curled her legs under her body on the couch. She looked smaller, softer, and her eyes grew immediately sad.

“She died.”

“I’m so sorry,” Emma said at once. “Regina, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean -,”

“It’s ok,” Regina assured the concerned blonde. “You were going to have to find out about her sooner or later. And it’s been over four years. I’m … starting to move forwards. Talking about her is still difficult but it’s getting better. Please, ask whatever you need. I’ll tell you if this is getting too much.”

Regina didn’t talk about Dani often. Most people in her life knew what had happened and didn’t need to be told nor talk about that painful time. The few people who hadn’t known her four years ago were mostly kept at arms length. But not Emma. Emma, somehow, had burst through Regina’s defences and was now sat on her couch, waiting to hear about Regina’s greatest personal tragedy.

“What happened to her?” Emma asked.

It was a simple question but as good of a place as any to start.

“She had a congenital heart condition,” Regina said. “When she was a baby she’d had surgery to correct a faulty valve. Everything was fine. She lived life like a normal, healthy woman and then one day, the valve just stopped working. By the time we got to hospital, it was too late.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you.”

“Henry was seven weeks old,” Regina continued. “He’ll never know his other mother. Dani was the one who had wanted us to have a child. It had taken her a while to convince me. We were both still young, my career was just starting out and I thought a baby would be a distraction. She was going to be a stay at home mom, to allow me to keep working. And then, less than two months after we got Henry, she was just … gone.”

Emma didn’t say anything. She didn’t think there was anything she could have said which would have expressed quite what she was feeling in that moment. Instead, she simply reached for Regina’s hand, grasping it tightly in her own.

“Henry kept me grounded,” Regina went on. “I had to focus on him. I had to move forward with our lives. I took some time off work, cared for him just as Dani was going to. When he turned one I found Zelena, our childminder, and started going back into the office two days a week. It got easier once Henry started nursery too and now I’m back to my sixty hour weeks. He deserves me to be around more but I love my work and I have to provide for him.”

Emma glanced around the penthouse. Henry’s life might have started with a tragedy but it was quite clear the boy wanted for nothing.

“You’re an amazing mom,” Emma said. “I’m sure Dani would have been very proud of how you’ve raised him. He’s a wonderful testament to you.”

“Thank you,” Regina said. “He’s a fantastic little boy.”

“Does he know about Dani?”

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “There have always been photos of her in the house and I wanted him to be told about his other mom as early as possible. He doesn’t know or understand much but he knows she died. When he’s old enough to ask questions, I won’t lie to him.”

“Who carried Henry?” Emma asked.

“What?” Regina frowned.

“I mean, who gave birth to him?”

“Oh, Henry’s adopted,” Regina said. “We got him when he was just three days old. He was so tiny, swallowed up by this gigantic blue blanket. We considered using sperm donors but decided in the end that it didn’t matter to either of us if the child wasn’t ours biologically and there are so many unwanted babies out there.”

Emma swallowed. “Yes, I suppose there are.”

“Damn,” Regina said. “Sorry, Emma. I wasn’t thinking. I mean, you ended up in the foster system, didn’t you.”

“Yeah,” Emma said quietly. “But it’s ok. I’m over it.”

“I don’t know how you can ever quite be over someone not wanting you,” Regina said, missing the flash of pain on Emma’s features. “That's something I've become aware of with Henry. He grew up knowing he was adopted and Dani and I both wanted to make sure he always knew he was wanted by us, even if his birth parents didn’t feel the same.”

Emma downed the rest of her wine. Regina winced. She hadn't meant to sound quite so insensitive.

“Sorry,” she said again.

“It’s fine,” Emma assured her. “Some people just aren’t supposed to be parents. I’m sure mine, whoever they were, gave me up for good reason and I’m probably better off without them. No one gives away their own child unless they have to.”

“Have you tried to track them down?” Regina asked.

“Yeah,” Emma said. “But they don’t want to know me. Every clue I’ve ever uncovered has led to dead end after dead end. They’ve made it impossible for me to find them and I guess that’s what they wanted.”

“They don’t deserve you, Emma,” Regina said softly.

“You think they’d be proud?” Emma scoffed. “Of the beggar their daughter became. I tumbled my way through school, got kicked out of so many foster homes I’ve lost track, landed in prison when I was eighteen and then ended up turning tricks on a street corner just to be able to afford food. I’m pretty sure I don’t deserve them.”

Regina looked sadly at the woman before her. Emma was slumped back on the couch, looking defeated and utterly lost. It was like her words had finally registered with herself and she was now starting to realise just what her life had become.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Emma sighed after a while.

“Like what?”

“Like you pity me,” Emma said. “If you want us to … I don’t know, date? Or at least get to know each other better, you’re going to have to stop looking at me like I’m someone you feel sorry for. I don’t want to be that person with you, Regina. Can’t you just see me for me? Emma. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“I think I can do that,” Regina said with a smile, leaning towards the blonde.

Emma smiled her thanks just before plump lips pressed against her own. The kiss was still tender, still restrained, but there was something more to it this time. There was promise, and anticipation at what was to come. Emma’s hands threaded through Regina’s soft hair, pulling the brunette towards her slightly. Regina’s own hands landed on Emma’s thighs, feeling the heat of the blonde’s body radiate even through her jeans.

“So, you want to date me?” Regina asked when she pulled back.

Emma laughed. “I’d love to date you,” she said. “The real question is, do you want to date me?”

Regina kissed Emma again. It was short and sweet but told the blonde all she needed to know.

“Yes, Emma,” she said. “I would very much like to date you. In fact, would you like to go out on an actual date with me next week?”

“Didn’t I already ask you out for dinner?” Emma said, quirking her eyebrow. Trust Regina Mills to try and outdo the blonde.

“Yes but that was before you got all your money stolen,” Regina reminded her. Oh yeah, Emma thought. She had a point. “Please, let me take you out. You can return the favour when you get a job, ok?”

“If I get a job,” Emma huffed. “It’s not easy to find work when you have a criminal record. That’s why I didn’t tell Granny about my conviction.”

“Do you have a parole officer here?” Regina asked. “Can’t they get interviews for you with employers who work with programs?”

“I kinda … skipped out on my last one in Tallahassee. Dropped off the grid and they’re yet to catch up with me. As and when they do, I’m sure there’ll be hell to pay though.”

“Would you permit me to make a call on your behalf?” Regina asked, not wanting to overstep into an area she knew Emma was sensitive about. Of course, the blonde looked immediately suspicious and regarded Regina for a moment before answering with a question of her own.

“What kind of call?”

“I may be a corporate lawyer but I know several people who work in the criminal sector. I should be able to find someone who’ll go easy on you so that when you do resurface, you’ll not be given such a hard time. If you want to get your life back on track, you’re going to have to poke your head above the parapet sooner or later, right?”

“I know,” Emma nodded. “I just wish it could be later.”

Regina smiled. “So you’ll let me?”

“On one condition.”

“And what’s that?” Regina asked, her eyes twinkling at the teasing tone of the blonde.

Emma didn’t answer, she just leaned towards Regina and kissed her, their lips finally parting and their tongues meeting for the first time. Regina moaned involuntarily, her arms encircling Emma and pulling her closer to her. She allowed Emma to dominate at first, revelling in the way the blonde’s pointed tongue explored her own mouth. Soon however, she wanted her turn. She nipped at Emma’s lower lip and smirked into the kiss as the blonde’s tongue retreated, followed at once by her own. Wine lingered in both their mouths, making the kiss spicy and intoxicatingly addictive.

When they eventually broke apart, Emma was lying on her back with Regina pressed hotly against her front. Emma reached up and tucked a stray tendril of dark hair behind a pinked ear. Regina smiled back down at the blonde, her lips swollen from their passionate exchange.

“I think I can agree to that condition,” Regina mused.

“Good,” Emma chuckled, craning her neck to plant a chaste kiss on Regina’s lips.

It didn’t remain chaste for long.

* * *

Emma sat on a bar stool, swinging her legs and staring at the little sliver of metal. Regina had all but thrown it into her hand that morning before she has disappeared out of the door with Henry. It was just a key. But to Emma, it symbolised so much more. It was trust, it was the anticipation that Emma would be there when Regina returned from work. And it was also a hint that at some point, Emma should probably leave the penthouse.

It was after lunch and Emma had somehow wiled away the morning exploring Regina’s apartment (ok, snooping), tidying and cleaning the guest room she was staying in, and watching television. She knew she should be out looking for work. But she also knew that until she met with a new parole officer, any job she applied for wouldn’t accept her once they knew about her past.

Regina had suggested Emma go back to Granny’s and beg for her old job. Well, not beg, but ask. Emma had refused. She knew Granny would never hire her again and she also didn’t know if she wanted to work there now. The older woman had been hardly understanding or sympathetic to Emma’s situation. In fact, she was the reason Emma had ended up back in that tunnel, leaving her vulnerable and exposed to the likes of Killian. Not that Emma could really blame her for that. Her previous poor decisions had ultimately led to that night.

But Emma still wasn’t going to go back to the diner. She had considered getting a job at another restaurant however. With experience and a reference from Ruby (Regina had shown her the email the previous night), she thought she might stand a chance. But Emma didn’t want to be a waitress or a bus-girl all her life. She knew her stint in prison had cut short her dreams of becoming a journalist but she hoped it wouldn’t limit her to the service industry forever.

Regina had told her to use her laptop to look for work and now, after hours of procrastinating, Emma pulled it towards her. Opening the lid, she couldn’t help but beam at the two smiling faces which greeted her. Regina and Henry were lying on their backs on soft green grass. Dappled sunlight scattered around them with white blossom petals littering the ground. They were both laughing into the camera lens. Emma thought it looked perfect.

Somewhat reluctantly, she opened an internet browser. And then her fingers froze, lying static over the little black keys. She didn’t even know where to begin. A google search for ‘ex-convict work in New York City’ was hardly going to yield the desired results. She closed the lid, lay it on the couch beside her, and groaned quietly.

She knew she had been lucky to have Ruby lobbying for her when it came to finding work at Granny’s. She also knew that without a similar ally, finding a replacement job was going to be difficult. But she had promised herself and Regina that she would try, so she forced herself to get up, pulled on one of Regina’s coats, and headed out.

It was still raining. Emma had hated it when it snowed but rain was possibly worse. At least she wasn’t in the tunnel where the water ran in and pooled in cold, muddy puddles for weeks on end. The streets were grey and unwelcoming, almost empty except for a few hunched figures hurrying between destinations. Regina’s coat was thick and warm and Emma pulled it close, inhaling the smell of the other woman as she set off down the road.

* * *

Henry’s sobs were muffled by Regina’s thighs as he pushed his face into his mother’s lap, seeking comfort. She stroked the back of his head gently, trying to continue her conversation with Zelena when all she really wanted to do was go home and hug Henry. And Emma.

“I’ve spoken to Nick’s father,” Zelena was saying. “But I don’t know what else I can do. You know what little children are like. I’m sure this is just a phase that will pass.”

“It’s a bullying phase,” Regina frowned. “They might be four but it’s still bullying.”

“I know,” Zelena nodded. “And I’m so sorry I wasn’t able stop Nick in time. He’s … speedy.”

Regina looked back down at Henry. His sobs were still loud and his hands fisted in her skirt. She could feel him trembling.

“Maybe it would be a good idea for them to have some space from each other for a while,” Regina suggested. “I coincidentally have someone staying with me at the moment and I’m sure she could look after him.”

“You’re pulling Henry from day care?”

“Temporarily,” Regina nodded. “I know both Nick and Ava come here so it’s not fair on his sister or father to ask Nick not to come, even if he is the problem. But I want Henry to return here. I think it’s good for him to interact with the other kids and learn to get along with everyone. But maybe these two boys need a break.”

“If that’s what you think is best,” Zelena nodded. “But just so you know, I’m really sorry this all happened and I really hope that Henry will be back here in the future.”

“I’m sure he will be,” Regina assured her. “He used to love coming here.”

She coaxed Henry upwards and he threw his arms around her neck. She stood with difficulty, Henry’s legs clinging to her waist like a little koala. Zelena followed the two of them out to the town car and passed Regina her handbag and Henry’s school things.

“I’ll call you in a couple of weeks,” Regina said through the open window.

“Ok,” Zelena said, compassion and understanding on her face. “Bye Henry. I hope your finger feels better soon.”

* * *

Regina frowned when she stepped into the dark apartment. Henry had stopped crying but still held tightly to her hand. She flicked on the hallway light and moved inside.

“Emma?”

She knew there was going to be no reply even before she had called out. There was a feeling of unease as the brunette headed for the kitchen to get Henry a glass of milk before bed. Emma wouldn’t have left, would she? Not after last night. The two women hadn’t gone any further than making out like teenagers on the couch but Regina had felt far more connected to the blonde than she had to anyone in a long time. Emma wasn’t going to walk away from whatever was starting between them, was she?

“Where’s Emma?” Henry asked from the doorway.

“I think she went out to look for a new job,” Regina replied, recalling their conversation from the night before and making a mental note to buy Emma a cell phone so she would be contactable.

“Ok,” Henry said. “Can we read Curious George tonight?”

“After your bath, yes,” Regina nodded as she returned the milk to the fridge.

“But I can’t have a bath,” Henry replied.

“Oh?” Regina asked, screwing the lid onto Henry’s sip cup and turning around. “And why’s that?”

“My finger.”

Henry held up his little finger on his right hand, the skin still red and dented slightly from when Nick’s teeth had sunk into the skin. Regina crouched down in front of her son and took his hand gently in hers. She pretended to inspect the injury carefully before schooling her face into her most serious look.

“I think, Master Henry, that you finger is absolutely fine for a bath.”

“No, it hurts,” Henry pouted.

Regina tried hard not to laugh. Her son was, after all, in pain. But he was also excellent at making up excuses for avoiding bath time.

“Well the skin isn’t broken so I don’t think water is going to make it hurt more. And if you’re going to stay here with Emma tomorrow you don’t want to be all stinky do you?”

Henry thought about this carefully. “Ok,” he conceded. “But can we read two Curious George books?”

“Deal.”

* * *

Henry had already been asleep for an hour when Emma eventually walked through the door. She was drenched, having been wandering the streets all day. With no success, as she had anticipated.

“Hi,” Regina called from the living room when she heard the front door click shut.

Seconds later, Emma appeared in front of her, blonde hair hanging in wet tendrils around her shoulders.

“Shit, Emma! You’ll catch your death,” Regina said, jumping up and rushing towards the blonde.

“I’ve been colder,” Emma said, her teeth chattering despite what she was saying.

“Go and have a hot shower and then come back here. I’ve got some leftover stew and baked potatoes in the oven for you. Shall I plate some up?”

“Please,” Emma nodded, realising just then that she was starving. She hadn’t eaten all day, having left the house without any money. And not having any money in the house to return for.

When Emma emerged, a towel turban on her head and her pyjamas already donned, Regina was just spooning a rich looking brown stew onto a plate.

“Beef,” she said as she handed it over. “Would you like some wine?”

“Careful,” Emma joked. “You keep treating me like this and I might never leave.”

Regina forced herself to laugh but her stomach did a little flip at the thought of Emma never leaving her home. With both of their wine glasses full, they headed into the living room. Once they were settled on the couch and Emma had begun to eat, Regina asked her about her day.

“About as successful as you’d expect,” Emma shrugged. “I left my name and your number in a few places but I doubt I’ll here anything.”

“Well that might not be such a bad thing, for now at least,” Regina said.

“What do you mean?” Emma frowned.

“A kid bit Henry at the childminder’s today,” Regina explained. “He’s fine,” she added at the panicked look on Emma’s face, “but I don’t really want him going back there for a while. Something is going on between him and this kid and I think a couple of weeks away from each other would be good. So I was going to ask if you’d be free to take him.”

“You … want me to babysit your kid?” Emma asked.

“Yes,” Regina nodded. “You’d drop him off at nursery in the morning, pick him up after lunch and then look after him until I get home in the evenings.”

“And you want me to cook him dinner?” Emma asked sceptically. The penthouse still smelt faintly of smoke.

“I’m sure even you can’t mess up pasta,” Regina teased. “And I have several frozen sauces and other dishes you could defrost for the two of you.”

“What does Henry think?”

“He’s already planning what you two are going to do tomorrow afternoon,” Regina said.

The little boy’s face had lit up when Regina had suggested her plan to him. Henry had expected to go back to Zelena’s the next day and have to see Nick but when presented with the option, he had finally stopped crying.

“I pay Zelena three hundred dollars per week,” Regina continued. “But if you drop Henry at nursery in the mornings, I’ll throw in an extra fifty.”

“Three hundred and fifty bucks per week?” Emma exclaimed. “Regina, no. I can’t allow you to pay me.”

“I’d just be paying someone else if it wasn’t you,” Regina reasoned. “And I’d really, really like it if it was you. I trust you with Henry and that isn’t something I say to many people.”

Emma looked at the woman before her. Regina looked more stubborn than Emma had ever seen her and she couldn’t help the small smile that spread across her face at the sight. Regina wanted Emma to look after Henry. Regina trusted Emma to look after the most important person in her life.

“I have conditions,” Emma said.

“Good,” Regina said, already leaning towards the blonde. “I love your conditions.”

Emma rolled her eyes at the innuendo. “No, not that. My conditions are that you allow me to contribute to the weekly shop if I’m going to be staying here and eating your food. And you have to let me take you out for our first date. Your argument that I have no money is now invalid so I’m reasserting my role as the date-planner.”

“Is that all?” Regina asked.

“Well,” Emma said, cocking her head to one side. “There might be one more condition.”

The blonde let out a little ‘ompf’ as Regina landed on her lap, legs straddling her hips as their mouths met for the first time that day.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: again guys, such a great response. I will try to answer your reviews in time but I’m so busy with work at the moment and I suspect you’d rather I spend my free time typing out a chapter than messaging you back …

Emma never thought she’d be going to a four year old for advice. But there she was, sitting cross-legged on the living room floor about to ask Henry’s for help. It was Thursday afternoon and she was still at a loss for what to do with Regina that coming Saturday night. The date had been set, literally. The only problem was, Emma didn’t have the faintest idea where she was going to take the beautiful brunette. She had no doubt that Regina was used to being wined and dined in fancy restaurants but Emma didn’t want to do that. Not just because she couldn’t afford to but because she wanted their date to be slightly more personal, less cliché. Which meant she needed Henry’s help. The two of them had spent the past three days together and were getting on better than ever. She had even managed to successfully cook two dinners for him, although she was nervous about their plans for that evening’s dinner. It involved cooking the chicken breasts Regina had stuffed that morning. In the oven. Emma hadn’t opened the oven since she had cleaned it after the pizza incident. She really hoped she didn’t give any of them food poisoning or burn the penthouse down.

“It’s your go, Emma,” Henry prompted, picking up the dice and putting them into her hands.

“Right, sorry kid,” Emma said, rattling the two cubes in her hand and tipping them out onto the game.

She waited until Henry had added the dots together himself before reaching to move her piece around the board. It was all good practice for him.

“Nine,” he announced, already counting ahead to see where Emma’s move would take her to.

“Henry,” she said as she tapped out her spaces. “What does your mom like to do?”

Henry was momentarily distracted by the fact that Emma seemed to be suddenly winning and it took him a few seconds to answer.

“She likes the zoo,” he said. “And making snow-monkeys. And building pillow forts.”

“Does your mom like those things or do you?”

Henry considered this. “Me,” he decided.

Emma couldn’t help but laugh. Henry was completely adorable but just as self-involved as any other four year old.

“Ok, so what does your mom like that maybe you don’t?” Emma suggested.

“Wine,” Henry said. “And talking lots. And reading big books.”

Emma knew Regina loved to read. Her snooping the previous weekend had led her to discover Regina’s study. It was a beautiful room, panelled in dark wood with a large mahogany desk in the centre. The walls were covered in shelves, groaning under the weight of countless tomes. Emma had run her finger along the spines, taking in the incredible collection which ranged from eighteenth century British literature to the newest titles available. She had even borrowed one, after asking of course, and was already lost in the world created by Charles Dickens. Regina had recommended it. She tried not to wince when she first read the title; Hard Times.

“It’s not what you think,” Regina had assured as she pressed the book into Emma’s hands. “But it is a good book.”

And it was. Emma felt like she herself was trudging her way down a sooty street, deep in the north of England. Some of the prose was a little too dense for her liking but she couldn’t deny that Dickens was weaving quite the tale.

“And she likes horses,” Henry added.

“Horses?”

“Yes,” Henry nodded. “She used to have a horse when she was younger but now we live in the city and there are no fields here. Except for Central Park and Mama says you’re not allowed to keep horses there.”

Emma nodded her agreement at that. Turning a horse out to pasteur there wouldn’t be the best move. But at least Henry had given her a few clues to go on. Books and horses.

* * *

“If you won’t tell me where we’re going tomorrow then can you at least tell me what I need to wear?” Regina asked on Friday night.

She was snuggled up against Emma’s side, the blonde’s arm around her shoulders as they sat watching television. Henry had insisted they all watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarves together and once he was in bed, the two women had returned to the couch to watch something a little less … animated.

“Just something you feel comfortable in,” Emma said. “We’re not going anywhere fancy so diamonds and pearls are unnecessary.”

“Because I always wear so many diamonds and pearls,” Regina chuckled.

“I bet you’d have some amazing pieces to put on if I said we were going to the Four Seasons,” Emma remarked.

“Perhaps,” Regina laughed, tilting her head up and kissing Emma lightly on the lips. “But I assume we’re not going there.”

“No,” Emma said. “I hope you’re not too disappointed.”

Regina twisted herself around so she could look fully up into Emma’s face. “Honey, I don’t care where we go. As long as I’m with you and we’re spending time together, I know it’s going to be great.”

“No pressure,” Emma breathed out.

“Well, you were the one who wanted the job of organising our first date,” Regina pointed out. “If you don’t feel up to the challenge -,”

Emma smothered her teasing lips with a hot kiss. Regina’s laughter died in her throat as Emma’s tongue begged her mouth for entrance at once. It was granted and soon the two women were lost in each other, as had happened every evening that week.

Unusually, it was Emma who broke the connection, her eyes dark and breathing ragged.

“I have to go somewhere tomorrow morning. I assume you’ll be here to watch Henry though?”

“Of course,” Regina nodded, trying not to think of how domesticated that exchange had been. “Where are you going?”

Emma’s already red cheeks blushed further.

“Sorry,” Regina said, sitting up and away from Emma. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s just embarrassing,” Emma said. Regina’s face creased in confusion and Emma sighed. “I’m going to the clinic. I wanted to get … tested. Before anything happens between us I think we should both know just how stupid my decisions on the street were.”

“Oh,” Regina said.

Well, that was a mood kill. Regina straightened her shirt and reached for her drink, hoping the alcohol would soothe away the feelings bubbling inside her. Emma sat up too, running her fingers through her tangled hair.

“I was careful,” she said. “I mean, I know I’m not pregnant or anything like that. I just … I need to know that I’m clean.”

“Of course,” Regina nodded. “I think it’s a very good idea for you to get screened.”

“You’d thought about it?” Emma asked.

“I’d tried not to,” Regina admitted. “I don’t like to think of you being with anyone else, let along a random man in the back of his car.”

“It wasn’t always that bad,” Emma defended. “I’m sorry you ever have to think about the fact that I was doing that but they weren’t all fumbled quickies in the back of a car.”

“Please don’t try to justify it,” Regina spat.

Emma recoiled at the harsh tone. Regina was sitting on the edge of the couch, rolling the wine glass stem between her fingers. Her head was hanging downwards and her shoulders were hunched. Emma could practically feel the tension vibrating from the brunette but that didn’t mean she was going to let Regina speak to her like that.

“It wasn’t a choice,” Emma said, her voice low and steady. “I mean it was. But it was a life or death kind of situation. I didn’t want to do it, Regina. I regret that I even had to consider it, let alone allow it to become my life for three months. I hate that it happened and I hate that you know about it. But you needed to know. I couldn’t keep that from you, not if we were going to try and be together. But you also need to tell me right now if this is something you don’t think you can move past. It’s happened. I’m over it. Now I need to know if you can do the same. Otherwise, what are we doing here?”

Regina slowly looked up, turning her face back towards the blonde who was now sitting cross-legged on the far end of the couch. Her gaze raked over Emma, taking in every inch of the young woman. There was already more colour in Emma’s cheeks, her skin brighter and healthier after a week of good food. Her frame was beginning to fill out and she was no longer so painfully thin. Her hair shone and healthy curls bounced down to her chest. Regina skipped over her breasts and continued; she didn’t need to get distracted. She looked relaxed, the brunette realised. Relaxed and at home in the Fifth Avenue penthouse she had found herself in. And, with a jolt, Regina realised the penthouse felt more like a home with the blonde in it.

“Remember when you asked me to be patient with you and I said you’d need to be the same with me?” Emma nodded. “This is one of those times. I don’t judge you for what you did Emma. But that doesn’t mean I’m ok with it. Even though it’s in your past, I can’t stop myself thinking about all those men you allowed to touch you. It makes me sick that people in this world can trade something as special and intimate as sex with one another and it is hard for me to think of you doing that.”

“I had to,” Emma defended.   
“I know,” Regina assured. “I know why you did it. But that doesn’t mean I’m ok with it. Does that make sense?”

Of course it made sense. Emma knew few people could get their head around the concept of prostitution, not understanding how anyone could ever be so desperate. Especially someone like Regina Mills, a woman who had clearly never wanted for anything in her life. Emma didn’t resent Regina’s privileged upbringing and the woman had undeniably been through some difficult times herself. But Regina was also going to have to come to terms with Emma’s past if there was any hope of any kind of future for the two of them.

“Will you ever be ok with it?” Emma asked, her voice little more than a whisper.

“I want to see where this goes,” Regina said at once. “I want to see what we could be.” Emma smiled at that. At least she wasn’t the only one hoping for a future together. “But you know I need time to process this. I want to accept it as a part of you, Emma. I will accept it as a part of you. But it’s hard to know someone I care about had to reduce herself to something so meaningless.”

“Meaningless?”

“To the men,” Regina corrected hastily. “You were meaningless to the men, Emma. Not to me. You will never be meaningless to me and I want whatever happens between us to be … well, meaningful.”

“It will be,” Emma assured, reaching towards Regina and almost sighing in relief when the brunette immediately fell into her arms. “This does mean something, Regina. You mean so much to me already. As does Henry.”

“He knows, you know,” Regina said, her face buried in the crook of Emma’s neck. “Henry knows about us.”

“What do you mean?” Emma asked, ignoring the fact that she could feel the brunette’s tears against her skin.

“I’ve never introduced him to anyone I’ve dated before. Not that there really have been women to introduce him to. But he knew Dani and I were both women. He’s seen Ruby and Dot together. He’s a smart enough kid to have cottoned onto the fact that there’s something more between us than just friendship.”

“What did he say?”

“He asked if you were going to be his new mommy.”

There was a heavy silence. Regina pulled away from Emma and wiped her eyes. Emma’s own were shining with tears. It was way too soon, they both knew that. But when a child was involved, conversations got serious much more quickly.

“We have to be really, really careful,” Regina said. “I can’t have Henry getting hurt if things don’t work out between us.”

“I know,” Emma nodded furiously. “And we will be. He’s a fantastic kid, Regina, and even if things don’t end well for us, I hope I’d still be a part of Henry’s life.”

“I’d like that,” Regina smiled. “And he would too. I’ve never seen him quite so taken with anyone before.”

“And a kid has never worked his way into my heart so quickly before,” Emma replied. “I never thought I was cut out to be a mother and I’m not saying I am anything like that to him now. But … maybe, with time.”

“Maybe,” Regina said, a soft smile on her lips.

“Do you think we should get the first date out of the way before we race ahead though?” Emma joked.

“Good point,” Regina laughed, remembering how the conversation had started. “So, when you say comfortable clothes, what exactly do you mean?”

* * *

Emma took a deep breath before she opened the door.

“Hi,” she greeted, smiling shyly.

“Wow!” Ruby replied as she stepped over the threshold into the penthouse. “You look amazing.”

“Thanks,” Emma said, taking Ruby’s coat and hanging it up. “It’s great to see you, Ruby.”

“You too,” the brunette said, hesitating for a moment before pulling Emma into a tight hug. It was the first time they had seen each other since Emma left the apartment above the diner almost three weeks previous. She had felt guilty for leaving in the early hours but she couldn’t bear to see Ruby’s look of disappointment again. Now however, there was only a genuine smile at seeing her friend once more. Emma was relieved; she’d missed the lanky brunette.

“How’s the diner?” Emma asked as she led the way into the kitchen where Henry was finishing his dinner.

“Your replacement is terrible,” Ruby said, ruffling Henry’s hair and slipping into the chair beside him. “Are you sure you don’t want me to ask Granny for your job back?”

“No, thanks,” Emma said. “She wouldn’t want to employ me again and I don’t want to be somewhere I’m not wanted. Anyway, I’m looking after this little man for the next couple of weeks, aren’t I?”

“Yep,” Henry nodded, smiling up at Emma with tomato sauce all over his mouth.

Emma reached for a wipe but Ruby took it from her. When the blonde frowned, her friend just pointed to her white sweater by means of explanation. Oh yeah, she thought. Might not be the best colour combination. She had spent some of the money Regina had paid her on a new pair of black skinny jeans and a soft knitted top, both of which she was wearing at that moment.

“Where are you heading tonight?” Ruby asked.

“It’s a secret,” Henry piped up. “Mama’s been really mad all day because Emma won’t tell her.”

Ruby looked up at the blonde and widened her eyes. Very few people stood up to Regina Mills and denied her anything. The smug grin on Emma’s face made Ruby think that perhaps their new blonde friend was a match for the powerhouse lawyer. Both were equally stubborn.

“Well I hope I won’t have to wait much longer to find out,” came a voice from the doorway.

The three in the kitchen turned towards Regina and all three jaws dropped. Considering Emma had told her to dress comfortably, Regina look stunning.

“Wow,” Emma said, moving towards the brunette who was leaning against the doorframe. “You look incredible.”

“Thank you,” Regina said, smoothing out the flared skirt of her dress. “Is this too much?”

“No, you look perfect,” Emma said, leaning in and brushing her lips against Regina’s cheek. “Are you ready?”

“Just got to wish the little man goodnight,” Regina nodded, moving past Emma and towards her son who had returned to his dinner.

Ruby smiled up at her best friend and saw nothing but pure joy and contentment shining back at her. She hadn’t seen Regina look that happy in a long time, not since before Dani had died. Ruby knew what this was. She just wondered whether her friend was quite aware of how deep into this relationship she had already fallen.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Regina said, placing a kiss to the top of Henry’s head and scowling at her friend.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” Ruby defended. “I was just -,”

The doorbell interrupted them. Frowning, the two women turned towards the hallway but didn’t see the blonde. When there was no sound of Emma moving to the entrance, Regina herself walked to the front door. She pulled it opened and her eyes widened at the sight which greeted her.

Blonde hair poked out from above a huge bouquet of red roses, green eyes glinting through the foliage. Regina gasped before accepting the flowers and breathing in their sweet, summery scent. She then turned to Emma, a look of admonishment on her face.

“What are you doing out here?” she asked, standing back and waiting for Emma to walk into the apartment.

She didn’t.

“Picking you up for our date,” Emma said, rocking onto her toes and smiling widely. “Are you ready?”

Regina rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“That’s rather rude,” Emma said, feigning hurt.

“Do you want to come in and wait whilst I put these in water,” Regina said. “I just need to find my purse and get my coat.”

Emma stepped into the penthouse and leaned against the wall, watching as Regina sashayed away from her and into the kitchen. She reached into the closet and pulled out Regina’s coat herself, already eager to get on with the date she had planned.

* * *

“I’m sure you’ve been here a million times but I wanted to bring you here myself,” Emma said as they walked up the marble steps to the New York Public Library.

It mercifully not raining and several people were entering and exiting the grand building. Two majestic lions watched the women as they approached, hand in hand. Regina stepped towards the main entrance but Emma tugged her to the side. She led her around to the right hand side where, beneath a grand archway, a fountain was situated.

“Pegasus,” Regina breathed out. “I almost forgot this was here.”

“Most people do,” Emma shrugged. “The lions are what tourists want to see and no one takes the time to walk around to these fountains.”

“It’s not working though,” Regina pointed out.

“Well, no, not now. It’s too cold so the pipes would split if it froze,” Emma admitted. “But they do. There was no water here for thirty years but last summer they fixed them. I used to come here when I first arrived in New York. I’d read about Beauty and Truth and wanted to see them for myself.”

“Beauty,” Regina mused. “It seems fitting.”

She smiled sideways at Emma and the blonde blushed.

“Actually, I wanted to like Truth more. I mean, the truth is far more important than beauty at the end of the day, right?” Regina nodded her agreement. “But there’s something about this carving I just adore. Pegasus is magnificent and compared to Truth, I prefer this feminine figure.”

“Me too,” Regina mused. “Although I feel we ought to go and pay Truth our respects.”

Emma nodded her consent and led the way back across the top of the steps and to the second fountain. They stared up into the grey-white face and then at each other.

“Beauty,” they smiled in unison.

They headed into the building at last, eager to be out of the chilly February air. Emma stood back to allow Regina to pass into the cavernous entrance hall first and then led the way, heading straight towards the staircase on the right.

“Did you know that books were first delivered to the library by horse-drawn carriages?” Emma asked as they turned the corner and continued their climb.

“No, but I’m sensing a theme to this date,” Regina said with a smile. “You’ve been talking to Ruby, haven’t you.”

“Henry, actually,” Emma grinned as she consulted a map and entered a room to the left. “And it was just a fact I happened to stumble across whilst researching.”

Regina laughed. She didn’t think she had ever done research for a date in her life but she was touched that Emma had put so much thought into their time together. She was content for the blonde to lead her through the familiar corridors. She had loved the library as a youngster and remembered hours of studying for her final exams in the grand reading rooms above. Even when she was at college, she would retreat into the familiar, reassuring chairs on the upper levels during her vacation time. She hadn’t been for some months however, and made a mental note to bring Henry again soon.

“What are you looking for?” Regina asked, realising that the blonde was scanning the codes on the books they were passing.

“You’ll see,” Emma assured her, slowing down even more as she neared the right area. “Books have always been really important to me. It took me a little longer than other kids to learn to read because I kept moving schools but when I finally got my head around it, I couldn’t stop. It was escapism, I suppose, to delve between the pages and forget my own life. I could hide between other characters and ignore everything which was really happening to me. I don’t think I’d have got through my childhood without books.”

“I love reading too,” Regina said, squeezing Emma’s hand. “My father taught me to read when I was really young and I loved sitting in his study in the evenings. Books remind me of him and I think that’s why I keep so many in my home. After he died, it was a way I could still feel connected to him.”

“I’m sorry to hear you lost your father,” Emma offered.

“I’m sorry to hear you didn’t have one who loved you the way you deserve,” Regina replied.

They shared sad smiles before the younger woman went back to exploring the shelves. Regina was content just to watch and kept a tight grip on Emma’s hand as the blonde squinted through the dimly lit room until, at last, her finger landed on a book spine and pulled the novel free.

“Watership Down?” Regina asked, eyebrows raised as the book landed in her hand.

“You were expecting Black Beauty?” Emma asked.

“Kind of,” Regina admitted. “I never pegged you for a bunny person.”

“Watership Down was the first proper book I read on my own,” Emma explained. “I just remember how completely lost in the pages I became. Their world becomes your world and their troubles become your troubles. I reread it as soon as I’d finished and have done so every year since. There’s something new to discover every time.”

“I did enjoy it,” Regina admitted. “I think the characters are wonderfully vivid but the ending is just so sad.”

“True,” Emma nodded. “Every time I watch the movie, even though it’s a bad adaptation, I cry.”

“Me too,” Regina admitted. “I haven’t shown it to Henry yet.”

“It’s probably a bit scary for him,” Emma mused. “Woundwort is terrifying. But maybe he’d enjoy the book? We could always stop once they get to Watership Down and miss out the bit about going to Efrafa.”

Regina smiled. “Do you want to check it out?”

“Please,” Emma nodded. “But I don’t have an membership card here.”

“I do,” Regina assured her. “But we’re getting it on one condition.”

“What?”

Emma’s back thumped lightly against the bookshelf as a soft mouth covered her own. Her hands flew to Regina’s hips, pulling the shorter woman closer to her. A tongue ran teasingly along the seam of her lips, begging for entrance. They parted, a whimper of delight escaping as Regina’s teeth nibbled her flesh before the pain was soothed away by an eager tongue.

Someone coughed. Loudly. The two women sprang apart, both wiping Regina’s lipstick from their mouths. Emma looked to her right and saw an elderly man looking at them in a very disapproving manner.

“Sorry,” Emma said, grabbing Regina’s hand and hurrying towards the end of the aisle.

Cheeks flushed, the two of them headed down to the entrance and checked out their book. The dark New York streets beckoned and Emma and Regina walked hand in hand down the marble steps to where the next part of their date was waiting.

“Emma?”

“What?” the blonde asked, turning around to see why Regina had stopped. “You like horses.”

“Yes and I also know how much one of these costs to hire for the evening,” the brunette said, staring in awe at the beautiful black carriage, harnessed to an equally striking bay horse.

“Don’t worry about it,” Emma assured. “He’s a friend.”

“A friend?” Regina frowned, peering up to where the driver was perched, pointedly ignoring the exchange.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “A friend. From … when I was in the tunnel.”

“Oh,” Regina said, remembering once more that the woman she was on a date with had called a concrete hole in the ground home for four months. For a moment, she had allowed herself to forget about how she and Emma met.

“So, do you want to get in?” Emma asked, opening the door and holding out her hand.

Regina took it and climbed up. Emma followed, shutting the door behind her. The carriage was dark but Emma could see Regina’s eyes glittering with tears. She slid closer to her and kissed her softly.

“It’s over now,” Emma said. “That part of my life, it’s over.”

Regina kissed Emma again, desperate and hard. Tears mingled where their mouths met but neither woman cared. Their tongues caressed as the kiss heated up, hands eagerly exploring bodies over their clothes. Regina had never wanted Emma so badly. She wanted her not just to sate her desires but also because she desperately needed to show the blonde just how special and precious she was. Emma deserved that. Emma deserves so much more than what life had handed her so far.

“Hey, we’re here,” Emma said when she pulled back from their kiss ten minutes later.

Regina looked out of the narrow carriage window and tried to work out where they were. She’d felt the horses turn a corner off Fifth Avenue some time ago but had no idea quite what street they were on.

Emma slid past her, opened the door, and jumped out. She helped Regina down, thanked her friend, and led the way towards a small restaurant. It was nothing much to look at from the outside but as soon as she walked inside, Regina knew exactly why Emma had chosen it. The room was dimly lit, candles flickering on every table top. Couples scattered the room, each in their own booth to offer a modicum of privacy. Crimson drapes at the window added to the romantic atmosphere.

“Good evening,” said the maitre’d as he approached them. “Reservation?”

“Swan,” Emma nodded.

“Right this way, Miss Swan,” the man smiled, leading the two women towards a small table near the back of the restaurant.

Emma hurried past and pulled out Regina’s chair, sliding it perfectly beneath her as the brunette took her seat. Sitting opposite, Emma took the offered menus and began to glance at their options. Regina’s fingers running over the back of her hand drew her attention and she looked up, a smile on her face.

“This is amazing, Emma,” Regina whispered. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

You’re welcome,” Emma said. “I hope you like the food.”

“I wouldn’t care if we were eating McDonalds, as long as I’m with you.”

Emma laughed. “Yes you would. And I wouldn’t want to take you to somewhere like that anyway. You deserve far more than a crappy burger and some soggy fries.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Regina mused. “Sometimes I crave fast food.”

“Really?” Emma asked, eyes wide. “Wow, I’m learning more about you every second.”

“Let’s hope you keep like what you hear,” Regina laughed.

“Right back at you,” Emma said. “To be honest, I still can’t quite work out why you haven’t run a mile by now.”

Regina’s fingers threaded through Emma’s and she lifted the blonde’s hand to her lips. Kissing each knuckle, she never broke eye contact with the emerald orbs before her.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I realise these book are actually really British but I urge you to read both. Watership Down is genuinely my favourite book of all time. 
> 
> Also, practice safe sex guys! Even prostitute!Emma used condoms. Just saying …


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: lots and lots of background about our two ladies in this chapter. Possibly too much? I don’t know - but as you can tell, I struggled to write this hence the delay. Please let me know your thoughts!

Ruby’s eyes snapped up from her phone screen as she heard the door to the penthouse click open. Hesitating, she quietly got off the couch and tip-toed towards the hallway. All was silent. Slowly, she peered around the door frame. Emma and Regina were standing side by side with identical smirks on their faces.

“What are you creeping out here to see?” Regina asked, a knowing glint in her brown eyes.

“I … um … I wasn’t creeping,” Ruby blushed, stepping into the corridor. “I just … heard a noise and wanted to … um … check it out.”

“Yeah right,” Emma snorted. “You wanted to see if you’d catch us making out up against the wall.”

“I didn’t!” Ruby protested but Emma and Regina just started to laugh.

Regina shrugged off her coat, took Emma’s too, and hung them up in the closet before moving further into the penthouse. Emma and Ruby followed, the blonde still laughing and the brunette still embarrassed.

“How was Henry?” Regina asked as she sat down on the couch.

“Good as gold,” Ruby replied, resuming her previous position as Emma sat down right next to Regina, her arm around her shoulders. “How was your date?”

Emma turned to regard Regina, waiting for her answer. The brunette smiled up into Emma’s face before answering.

“Perfect.”

Emma leaned down and kissed Regina softly. They might not have wanted to put on a show for their nosey friend when they first got home but neither woman could wait any longer. Ruby didn’t look away. The kiss was too sweet and beautiful to miss.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Ruby said when they broke apart. “I guess your first date isn’t over since you both live here.”

Regina’s cheeks flushed slightly but Emma looked uncomfortable. Ruby didn’t notice however as she was already gathering her handbag together and heading towards the door. Regina followed, thanked Ruby for her help, and promised to call her the next day with the details. The two had been best friends for years and nothing was a secret between them any more, although Regina wasn’t sure how comfortable she’d feel talking about sex with Emma with someone who could now be called a mutual friend. When Regina returned to the living room, however, Emma was gone.

Regina checked the kitchen and then walked towards Henry’s room. She put her head around the door, smiling at the sight of him sleeping soundly, before continuing her search for the blonde. The closed door of the guest bathroom told her Emma’s location and she turned back to the living room to wait for the blonde there.

She appeared ten minutes later.

“Everything ok?” Regina asked as Emma sat down beside her again.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded but from her tone, Regina knew something was wrong.

“What is it?” she asked, turning to the blonde. She shook her head dismissively. “Emma, what’s happened. Tell me, please.”

“Nothing,” Emma said. “It’s stupid, forget about it.”

“I’m not going to forget something which has upset you,” Regina said softly. “Was it something I said? Or did something happen whilst I was saying goodbye to Ruby?”

Emma sighed and leaned forwards, her elbows resting on her knees and her head in her hands. Regina looked even more concerned and placed her hand tenderly on Emma’s back. For the first time in their relationship, the blonde flinched at the touch.

“Sorry,” Regina said, removing her hand at once. “But, Emma, please talk to me. I’m starting to worry.”

Emma closed her eyes and bit the inside of her mouth. She needed to get control over her raging emotions before she could begin to have this conversation. She concentrated on everything which had gone so right that evening. Their date had been wonderful; conversation had flowed naturally throughout dinner and Regina had laughed at all of Emma’s jokes. The carriage ride home had been filled with kisses and caresses before they had planned their trick on Ruby. Yes, the evening had been perfect. But now Emma was worried about what was about to happen. She tried not to think about how their previous conversation on this subject had gone. She really, really didn’t want to ruin the end of the date.

“I can’t have sex with you tonight,” Emma said at last as she looked up at Regina.

The brunette had thought of several things which might have been worrying the blonde woman but that was certainly not what she was expecting.

“What?” Regina frowned. Yet again, Emma Swan had stunned her into (almost) silence.

“I can’t have sex with you tonight," Emma repeated. “I want to … I really, really want to Regina but I can’t.”

“Who said we were even having sex tonight?” Regina asked, trying to work out why Emma had got so worked up over something which they hadn’t even hinted at throughout the date. Well, with the exception of their many, many kisses, she supposed.

“Ruby, for one,” Emma pointed out. “And I kinda thought you were expecting that too.”

“You think I put out on a first date?” Regina quipped, trying to lightened the mood. From the alarmed look on Emma’s face, however, she failed.

“Shit, no, I didn’t mean to offend you. Fuck, I’ve really screwed this up haven’t I,” Emma groaned, dropping her head back into her hands.

Regina wanted to reach out and touch Emma again but she didn’t, not after how she had reacted last time. Instead, she tried to reassure the blonde with words.

“Emma, I know our relationship or whatever this is didn’t exactly start in the most normal way and we’re probably pretty confused in terms of where we’re heading and at what stage we’re at, but I had no preconceptions about where tonight would lead. Just so we’re clear, I don’t sleep with someone after one date but as far as I’m concerned, we’re way past our first date. But that doesn't mean I was expecting for you to jump into bed with me tonight. Whether I want that or not, we both have to be ready to move forwards before anything else happens, right?”

Emma nodded and sat upright again. She smiled weakly at Regina and wiped her eyes. She wasn’t sure quite why she had gotten so stressed. Well, that was a lie, but she didn’t want to have to tell Regina why she was worried. The big brown eyes staring back at her however were simply pleading for the truth. So she took a deep breath, and told it.

“You know I went to the clinic this morning,” Emma said.

“I know,” Regina nodded, trying to keep all traces of emotions from her face.

“Well, I won’t have my results until next weekend. I’m trying to think positive but I’m really scared. What if I’ve …,” she didn’t want to finish that sentence so she stopped, took a deep breath and continued. “I need to wait to find out if I’m clean before I’d ever let you … touch me. I really, really like you, Regina and I think the two of us together would be amazing. But I’m not going to risk your health just for our pleasure.”

The corners of Regina’s eyes crinkled in a way that made Emma want to kiss the lines away. A mixture of adoration and sadness crossed the beautiful features.

“I’m sure you’re absolutely fine and one hundred percent healthy,” Regina assured her. “But I also think it’s very sweet, firstly that you’re so considerate and secondly that you’ve got yourself worked up into such a state over this. I had a wonderful time tonight, Emma. And yes, I could have easily been persuaded to fall into bed with you. But I hadn’t forgotten about your appointment this morning either and I think it would be sensible for us to wait, just to be sure.”

Emma smiled sadly. “I wish we didn’t have to,” she admitted. “I’ve not felt like this about someone for a long time.”

“Me neither,” Regina said, reaching out and wrapping her hands around Emma’s neck so she could pull their mouths together.

“Can I ask you something?” Emma said when the kiss ended.

“Anything,” Regina assured.

Emma swallowed. She hadn’t wanted to bring Dani up during their date but she still had several questions about Regina’s deceased wife which she needed answers to. But she also didn’t want to upset Regina by prying.

“It’s about Dani.”

Regina pulled back but didn’t move from her position besides Emma. Instead, she turned her body so she was sat cross-legged facing the blonde and encouraged her to mimic her position. Emma did at once. When they were both settled, Regina nodded for the blonde to continue.

“It’s been four years since she died,” Emma began, “and I was just wondering how long you guys had been together and what your dating history since is. Only tell me what you’re comfortable with though,” she added.

“Will you do the same for me?” Regina asked. “I’d like to know about your past too.”

“Ok,” Emma nodded.

Regina paused and then got to her feet. Emma watched as she headed over to the glass liquor cabinet and pulled out a crystal decanter. She gestured with it to the blonde who nodded her approval. Less than a minute later, a glass of amber liquid had been placed in Emma’s hands. She sipped it. It was delicious.

“Apple cider,” Regina explained at the look of intrigue and delight on Emma’s face. “I make it myself.”

“It’s amazing,” Emma said, taking another sip.

Regina cupped her own drink in her hands. She had thought the extra bit of alcohol would have given her the courage she needed but it was still difficult. She hated talking about Dani but she also hated what had come after her death and how Regina herself had behaved. She just hoped Emma would understand.

“Dani and I were high school sweethearts,” she said after a long silence. “We met when we were fourteen. I already knew I was gay and Dani was coming to the same realisation. We didn’t get together until we were sixteen though, after two years of awkward friendship and flirting. We were each other’s firsts for everything. She proposed before I went off to college but I turned her down. There was no way I wanted to be engaged when I was eighteen. I think she thought it was the only way we would survive so many years apart but I knew better. It wasn’t easy; her at Harvard and me at Yale, but we made it work. I proposed to her on the day of her graduation. Less than a year later we were married and living here. Dani’s grandfather had died and left her a small fortune, by the way, that was how two twenty-four year olds were able to afford this place. Henry came into our lives a year later and then, well, then she was gone.”

Regina drained her glass and moved to refill it. Emma’s heart ached for Regina and the loss and pain she had endured. When the brunette returned, Emma reached over and squeezed her hand, trying to let her know she understood. Not that she could ever understand truly how Regina felt, of course.

“Henry and I kept to ourselves for a couple of years. I wasn’t interested in dating anyone and rarely even met new people. The job in my mother’s law firm helped and slowly I began to feel more like myself. I still didn’t want to move on from Dani but I started to need, crave, physical affection again. There were a couple of lesbian bars near my office and I started going there after work a few nights a week. Sometimes I met someone, sometimes I didn’t. It never went further than making out on the dance floor or a fumbled grope in the toilets. Not unless I knew them. A few of the lawyers in my office turned up once and I got involved casually with a couple of them. It didn’t last long and it made work awkward for months. After that, I went back to finding strangers. At least that way I knew I wasn’t going to get my heart broken.”

Regina stood up and walked to the high window. She opened it and looked out into the street below. The park beyond was dark but the streetlights illuminated the empty sidewalk. She breathed in the cold air and felt the tears drying on her cheeks. Eventually, Emma’s arm looped around her waist as the blonde came to stand beside her, saying nothing, and simply content to be there for her. After a while, long after they had both started to shiver, Regina closed the window and led the way back to the couch.

“We’ve all done things to fill the void left by a lost love,” Emma said as she sat down. “It’s a way of grieving, a way of making sure we never get hurt again.”

“Yes but it’s not what I want any more,” Regina said, her voice little more than a whisper. “I don’t want to play it safe, Emma. I don’t want to hide away from my emotions. I’m tired of feeling empty and hollow. I want to love again. I want to feel loved again. Aside from Henry, I’ve had far too little of that in my life and I miss it.”

Emma pulled Regina into a hug. She could say it. She could let the words tumble oh so easily from her lips. But she didn’t. Somehow she knew this wasn’t the right time. Whether because it felt too soon, or because it seemed too cliché, she wasn’t sure, but the blonde contended herself in simply holding the older woman, hoping that would convey the depths of her feelings.

“I built walls around my heart from a very young age,” Emma said when they pulled back from one another. “When I had to leave my second foster family at the age of five, I realised that my life was not going to be easy. There was no point getting close to foster parents or siblings because I’d be moving on soon enough. In hindsight, I guess this attitude was one of the reasons why I moved so much but I thought I was protecting myself. When I reached fifteen and started dating, I realised I wasn’t the same as the other girls. I couldn’t let the boys in. I couldn’t trust them. I didn’t like it when they touched me. Not until Neal.”

“Who’s Neal?” Regina frowned, expecting Emma to say that she had realised she was gay, not bring up a boy.

“My first love,” Emma said. “My first proper boyfriend, my first home.”

“Oh,” Regina said, surprised.

“We met on the streets,” Emma said. “I was seventeen, he was nineteen, and we got into all sorts of trouble. But he was fun. He made me laugh, he was sweet to me, and when we were … together, it felt ok. At least, it felt better than it ever had before. I let my walls down. I let him in and I fell in love with him. Of course it didn’t work out. He screwed me over and left me in the most vulnerable position I’ve ever been in. He’s the reason I went to prison.”

Regina’s eyebrows rose. She had never asked Emma about her time inside. True, she had googled some of the details herself but even in her position, she had been unable to gain access to the sealed juvenile file so she had few details beyond the sentencing and the court dates. It hadn’t bothered her though, not knowing. Not until she knew there was a man involved.

“He stole some watches,” Emma continued, unaware of the way Regina’s mind was now racing. “I went to pick up the bag from a locker and then he was supposed to meet me. He never showed and instead a cop appeared and arrested me. I never heard from Neal again. I don’t know if it was a set-up or if he genuinely couldn’t come. But he never tracked me down to the police station and I never managed to find him once I was out.”

“Why did you even want to find him?” Regina asked, a slight bite in her tone. “He screwed you over, right? Why on earth would you want him in your life?”

“There were some things we needed to discuss,” Emma shrugged. “Unfinished business between the two of us, if you like. But I guess it will remain just that; unfinished. I went to Tallahassee as soon as I got out because that was where we were going to head with the money from the watches. Never even heard a whisper of him being in town.”

“So that’s how you ended up in Florida,” Regina said slowly. “I was wondering how you went from prison in Arizona to the Sunshine State.”

“I was looking for Neal,” Emma nodded. “But I found someone else.”

Regina’s gut twisted. She didn’t know why but she got the feeling she wasn’t going to like what Emma said next. Regina had known she was a jealous person but she hadn’t expected to feel quite so strongly when hearing about the blonde’s exes.

“Lily was the first and only girl I’ve been with,” Emma said. “I suppose in theory that makes me bisexual but I never enjoyed sex with men the way I did with her.” Regina visibly bristled. “Sorry,” Emma said quickly. “I mean, I hate her now. But I’m not going to lie to you about how good we were together.”

“I get it,” Regina said quickly, her eyes slightly darker than before. “Please, go on.”

Emma nodded but paused. She didn’t know how much she wanted to tell Regina about Lily. She hated even thinking about her ex, let alone talking about her. This was the relationship which had sent her life into a downward spiral. A spiral which had landed her on the streets, selling her own body for money to buy food, and then finally to Regina and Henry.

“We met in Tallahassee, right after I arrived. She helped me try to find Neal and then she was there for me when we couldn’t. We were together for over two years.”

Emma stopped again. She didn’t know how she was going to explain what happened next. After all, even she didn’t understand what exactly had gone wrong.

“Emma,” Regina said softly. “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

Emma smiled weakly. “It’s ok,” she said. “It’s just strange, you know? I haven’t thought about Lily in a while. At least, I try not to. She broke my heart and I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of still affecting me.”

“Broken hearts need time to heal,” Regina said. “But they do. It takes a while but eventually they mend and then they can love again.”

“I’m not so worried about the loving,” Emma said. “It’s more trusting. I can’t trust anyone, Regina. It took so long to learn to trust Lily and then she betrayed me. What if I can never trust someone again?”

Regina didn’t answer. She didn’t think Emma needed her to. She had already told the blonde, on more than one occasion, that she trusted Emma with her son. Did it hurt that Emma didn’t trust Regina? Yes, of course. But Regina was starting to understand why that was. She was also starting to hope that in time things might change and Emma would be able to put her faith in Regina.

“I came back from work one day,” Emma continued, “and she’d left. We shared an apartment in Florida and she’d just gone. Taken everything. Literally. All my stuff, all her stuff, all our stuff. She’d left a note; something about meeting another woman and falling in love. How she was sorry that she’d hurt me but she didn’t want to continue our relationship because she was no longer in love with me like she used to be. And I got that. It hurt, obviously, but I got it. I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t love me. But why did she clean our apartment out? She even wiped out our joint bank account. She took everything I owned in the entire world. It wasn’t much, what we had, but it was ours. And then I was alone again. No money, no car, no things. I hopped on a bus to New York that night. I don’t know why. I don’t know what I was hoping to find here but, well, you know how the rest of my story goes.”

Regina didn’t know what to say. She doubted there was a correct response to what Emma had just told her. So she didn’t say anything. Instead, she pulled Emma into her arms and held her as silent tears slid down her cheeks. Emma curled into the embrace, seeking comfort and reassurance from the woman whose arms were wrapped tightly around her slender body. She didn’t wipe the tears away. There was no point. She wanted, no, needed, to cry.

After a long time, Emma tilted her head up towards Regina.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?” Regina asked, swiping away the tear streaks with the pad of her thumb.

“For listening to me, for telling me your story too. I think it’s pretty clear we’ve both been through some crap but maybe now our lives will start to get better.”

“I hope so,” Regina smiled. “I really hope so, Emma.”

“And I’m sorry,” the blonde added.

“For what?” Regina repeated.

“For ruining this date. It was all going so well and then I had to remind you that I might have some awful STI and then bring up Dani and then cry about how Lily fucked me over. I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have just pretended everything was fine.”

Regina kissed Emma softly, their lips damp from the blonde’s tears.

“I don’t want you to hide your feelings from me,” Regina said. “I’m glad you told me. I’m honoured that you felt you could tell me those things and ask me those questions. I know you say you don’t trust people but I think you’re closer to doing so than you realise.”

“I want to be,” Emma said.

Regina kissed her again. She already knew she would never tire of kissing the thin, soft, rose-pink lips. Emma’s hands threaded into her hair, pulling the brunette’s mouth harder against her own and causing Regina to moan in delight at the desperate need with which Emma was now kissing her. She needed Emma too. She really did. But …

“Stop,” Regina gasped.

Emma did so at once, uncertainty etched on her face as she looked up at the brunette. Regina’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes almost black with arousal. Whatever had made the brunette stop the kiss, Emma was relieved to see it wasn’t anything bad but she still cocked her head to one side as she waited for an explanation.

“If we keep going,” she said, her breathing heavy, “I’m not going to be able to resist dragging you into my bedroom. And as you said, we need to wait a week.”

“One week,” Emma nodded.

“One more week.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: and this is the last T rated chapter …


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Let’s see how that week went then … Oh and note the rating change to M - NSFW. And mentions of abuse (because angst and fluff and sex in one chapter is the best!)

**Sunday**

Emma woke with a smile on her face. So did Regina. And when Henry rubbed the sleep from his eyes and saw the evident happiness on his mother’s and Emma’s faces, he grinned too. The three of them spent most of the day in the penthouse, rain lashing at the window. They were content to just be with each other. Chatting, playing games, laughing and joking. Emma even helped Regina cook dinner. Well, she washed the lettuce. Their evening ended with the pair locked in a lazy, gentle kiss, leaning against Emma’s bedroom door. Yes, both women had already come to consider the guest room Emma’s.

**Monday**

Henry waved goodbye to Emma when she dropped him at his nursery and then hurried off to play with his friends. Emma watched until his disappeared into his classroom and then headed back towards the penthouse. She stopped at a couple of restaurants on the way to drop off the resumé she had completed the week before. Regina had printed them at her office and Emma was more hopeful than she’d been in a long time about finding work.

Back at the penthouse, Emma cleaned. It wasn’t even dirty. But she felt like she needed to do something with her time before she picked up Henry and the two of them inevitably made a mess. Regina didn’t seem to mind though and the three of them happily tidied away the pillow fort Henry had insisted the pair build before they all sat down for dinner.

After Henry had gone to bed, Regina handed over the cell phone she had bought Emma on her way back from work. Emma tried to protest but the woman wasn’t having any of it. “I need to be able to contact you when you’re with Henry,” she had said before smothering any protests with her lips pressed firmly against Emma’s.

That night, the kisses ended in the doorway to Regina’s master suite, Emma forcing herself to turn away and walk back to her own room after over half an hour of bliss.

**Tuesday**

Regina found herself, as always, knee-deep in papers at her office. Yet another case involving Gold and Locksley had landed on her desk and she was already silently cursing her mother for lumbering her with the deal. She really couldn’t wait to get home. She even texted Emma saying as much, ignoring the fact that butterflies danced in her stomach at the realisation that the two of them were already very much acting like a couple. But when her meeting with Robin threw up all kinds of problems, she reluctantly texted Emma to ask if she could put Henry to bed as she wouldn’t be back in time.

Henry loved his mother and often wished she was home more but he didn’t mind it when Emma put him to bed. After all, she was far easier to manipulate. Which was why, at almost nine o’clock, Regina returned home to see Emma backing quietly out of Henry’s room.

“He’s only just gone to sleep?” she asked, surprised and a little annoyed.

“I said he could choose a story and he picked literally the biggest book in the world,” Emma sighed, following Regina into the lounge. “I tried to stop reading whenever I thought he had fallen asleep but he kept waking up and grumbling. He’s just too cute. You know that, right?”

Regina had conceded to that fact and after a passionate make-out session on the couch, Emma had to have a cold shower before she went to bed that night.

**Wednesday**

“I hate waiting,” Regina huffed, her breath hitting Emma’s lips as she smirked at the frustrated brunette.

“Me too,” Emma assured the older woman, kissing her again until they both forgot that they were waiting for anything. After all, what more could they possibly need aside from that perfect moment as they lay on the couch, side by side, in each others’ arms.

**Thursday**

It was inevitably going to happen although they had been trying to avoid it for now. But when Regina walked through the door that night, Emma hadn’t resisted kissing her there and then. Neither heard Henry’s arrival in the hallway.

“Mama?”

They sprang apart. Emma’s back was to Henry and her green eyes were wide with fear. Regina offered her a reassuring smile and sidestepped the blonde to crouch down in front of her son. Henry looked between the two women, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Good evening, sweetheart,” Regina said. “How was your day?”

“Are you two married now?”

The simplicity of the question somehow diluted its inappropriateness. Emma even smiled at how the boy’s view of the world had analysed what he had just seen. She leaned against the wall and waited for Regina’s explanation. The brunette had already mentioned that Henry knew something was going on between the two women but to have witnessed a passionate kiss was a little different to being told … well, she didn’t actually know what Regina had said to her young son.

“No,” she said. “But we do like each other. A lot,” she added.

“Is Emma going to live here with us forever?”

The fact that Emma had said she was going to stay for a couple of days and had been living with the Mills’ for almost two weeks had been the elephant in the room. As Regina swivelled on the balls of her feet and raised an eyebrow at Emma however, the blonde knew the dancing, purple, hula hooping elephant could no longer be ignored.

“I’m having a really great time with you guys,” Emma said, bending down beside Regina so all three sets of eyes were at the same height. “Now, how about we go and check if the pasta bake is ready?”

Henry, always thinking about his stomach, nodded his approval to that plan and scuttled off towards the kitchen. Emma followed quickly, in case Henry tried to open the oven by himself. Regina went too, already trying to work out how the conversation about their living arrangements was going to go.

“I like being here,” Emma began later that night. “I love it, Regina. And I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me. But we do need to think about the future.”

“I know,” Regina nodded. “But let me first just say that you are welcome to stay here with us for as long as you like. I don’t want you throwing your wages away on rent when there’s always going to be a place for you here.”

“Thank you,” Emma said. “That means a lot. The kid made a good point though. What exactly are we doing right now?”

“We’re dating,” Regina suggested.

“And how many people who are dating live in the same house?”

“Few,” Regina conceded. “But our circumstances are … unique.”

“You can say that again,” Emma chuckled. “And much as I am enjoying our time together, don’t you think it might be important for us to have space from each other as we move forward?”

“You want space?” Regina asked.

“No,” Emma replied immediately. “I love spending all this time with you. And I’m sure if things between us go well then we’ll end up living together. But when everything is so new, perhaps occasional time apart is a good thing.”

“So you want to move out only to move back in again as and when we decide we’re ready.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Well now you’ve made me sound crazy,” she huffed. “You know what I mean though.”

“I do,” Regina nodded. “And if you think being here and looking after my son is too intense this early in the relationship then I totally understand and I would be more than happy to help you find an apartment. But I need you to know that as far as I’m concerned, this, us, is perfect.”

“Perfect?”

“Perfect,” Regina nodded.

“No one’s ever called me perfect before,” Emma said, her eyes shining. “I don’t think for a second I am either. I’m flawed and fucked up and damaged and all kinds of broken and -,”

“But I don’t see that,” Regina said. “Not any more. When I first met you, I was captivated. I didn’t know what it was at the time and I thought I just felt … sorry for you. But now, I think it was something more. Something deeper. I’ve not felt like this about someone in a long time, Emma, and I’m really excited to see where the future takes us. You’re not broken; you’re healing. You’re not flawed; you’re individual. You’re not damaged; you’ve just been through a lot of shit things but you’ve come out the other side stronger than before. You’re amazing, Emma. Don’t you see that?”

Emma didn’t see it. But she let Regina try to convince her with her lips, teeth, and tongue until long after midnight when, reluctantly, both women returned to their respective rooms, a steady throb emanating from between their thighs.

**Friday**

Emma took a deep breath before she opened the door to the diner. Henry raced ahead and straight into Ruby’s arms. Emma followed, glancing around and already nodding her head to a few of the regulars who sat in their booths. It was the first time she had been back since she had lost her job.

“Afternoon,” she greeted Ruby. “How’s things?”

“Slow,” she said. “Which is good because it means I can chat with my favourite little boy,” she added, tapping Henry’s nose before leading the way over to their usual seats. “What shall it be?”

“Chocolate milkshake, please,” Henry said. “And a hamburger. And fries.”

“Woah, kid. Your mom is going to kill me if I let you eat all that. Pick one and we’ll substitute the others with healthy things.”

Ruby raised her eyebrows at how diligent Emma was being when it came to Henry’s diet. No matter how many times her best friend lectured her on not giving him junk food, she always ignored her.

“Hamburger,” Henry decided after a pause.

“Ok, then you can have either orange or apple juice, and a salad or some peas.”

Henry wrinkled his nose. Ruby laughed.

By the time Regina arrived, only an hour after she said she would, the three were still sat in the booth but now with playing cards scattered all over the table. Even from the doorway, she could tell Henry was losing. She sighed and moved towards her pouting son.

“Hi gorgeous,” she said, placing a kiss on his head.

“Hi,” Emma said, winking at the brunette.

“Hello to you too,” Regina laughed, bending down and placing a peck to Emma’s lips. The blonde practically beamed rays of happiness at the public display of affection.

Regina joined the table and the four of them played several more rounds of cards, deciding it was probably time to leave after Henry finally won one and was bouncing up and down on the seat in celebration. Seemingly he had forgotten about the string of defeats which came before. The three said goodbye to Ruby and headed home in the town car, Henry chattering all the time about how good he was at cards. Regina rolled her eyes at Emma over the top of his head and the blonde smothered her giggles.

Graham glanced in his rear-view mirror and couldn’t help but smile at what he saw. He had been Regina’s driver since she moved to New York and he couldn’t remember seeing her look so happy since Dani had died.

**Saturday**

Emma spun the cell phone around on the kitchen counter, willing it to ring. It was almost five in the evening and Regina was getting dinner ready. Henry and Marlo were watching television and Emma was waiting.

“Just call the clinic,” Regina suggested.

“But what if they haven’t called because it’s bad news?” Emma said, worry evident in her voice.

“Isn’t it more likely that they’ll call earlier if it’s bad news?” Regina pointed out. “Emma, honey, you’re going to be fine. But please call them. They probably just forgot or were busy and you’re starting to drive me a little crazy.”

Emma snatched up the phone and quickly scrolled through her limited contacts (Regina, Ruby, Henry’s school, Henry’s childminder, Henry’s doctor), until she found the clinic’s information. She left the room. Regina watched her go before turning her attention back to the onion she was chopping.

“Hello, how may I help you?” came the cheery receptionist’s voice.

“Hi. My name’s Emma Swan and I came in last week for some tests. I was told you would call me today but I’ve not heard anything.”

“Oh, we only call you if one of your tests comes back positive,” the receptionist informed her. “So if you’ve not heard anything, that’s a good thing.”

“Really?” Emma breathed, her body sagging against the hallway wall.

“Yes but let me double check your file. What did you say your name was again?”

Regina squealed in alarm as arms wrapped around her waist and kisses rained down against her neck. She turned into Emma’s embrace and her lips were immediately captivated by the blonde’s.

“Well?” she asked, breathless, minutes later.

“I’m clean,” Emma grinned. “Nothing came back positive at all. I’m good to go.”

Regina smiled widely and pulled the blonde back towards her. She had hoped Emma would receive good news for the younger woman’s health, of course. But she could also already feel the familiar coiling in her core, her body aching to be touched once more.

“Let’s put Henry to bed early tonight,” Regina suggested as she reluctantly broke the kiss and returned to preparing their dinner.

“Really early,” Emma smiled.

* * *

It wasn’t until Emma slipped quietly from Henry’s room, leaving his mother to kiss him goodnight one more time, that she remembered there was another conversation she and Regina needed to have. She headed for the apple cider and poured herself a generous serving. Gulping it down, she was on her second when Regina’s footsteps sounded in the hallway.

“He’s already asleep,” she said, walking towards Emma and picking up a glass for herself. “I think all those card games tired his brain out.”

Emma nodded but didn’t say anything. Instead, she turned towards the couch and sat down heavily, waiting for Regina to join her. Which she did, with a frown on her face.

“Ok, what’s wrong now?”

Emma sighed. Regina was right. There was always something to talk about with their relationship, always something to discuss. Whether that was a good sign that they were open and honest with each other or a bad sign that between them they had issues, Emma wasn’t sure.

“Before anything happens,” Emma said, “there’s something you should know.”

“Go on,” Regina said slowly.

“Back in one of my old foster homes, I … suffered some abuse,” Emma bit out. “Physical abuse. There are scars and I just think you need to know what they are before you see them.”

“Where?”

“My back,” Emma shrugged. “The guy who we were supposed to call dad liked to use his belt if we were disobedient. They’ve healed of course and they don’t hurt now but they look … ugly. I just … I don’t want you to see them or touch them and be repulsed.”

“Emma, darling, I’m not going to be repulsed by your body. Quite the opposite, I’m sure,” Regina said, trying to soothe the doubts away she could see radiating from the blonde’s green eyes.

“You say that now,” Emma shrugged. “But these scars are … well, there’s a lot of them. I can’t even bring myself to look in the mirror. I don’t expect you to like them, or accept what happened to me because I know that was fucked up. But … can we just ignore them?”

Regina leaned forward and gave Emma the softest, sweetest kiss the two had ever shared. Emma trembled at the depths of the emotions she was feeling and her heart rate quickened as Regina’s fingers laced through her own. She felt herself being tugged to her feet and stumbled blindly after the brunette until they reached the master bedroom. Regina released her hand and moved to turn on the bedside lamp. The light was dim; not quite dim enough for Emma’s liking, but the room was still dusky. Regina turned back to Emma and smiled softly.

“I want this, Emma,” Regina said, walking slowly back to the blonde who was stood stationary by the door. “I want you. I don’t care about your past. I don’t care what you look like, even though you are gorgeous. I just want to feel you.”

Emma surged forward and kissed Regina hard. Their teeth knocked clumsily together but neither woman cared as they staggered towards the bed. Regina landed on her back, Emma on top of her, and their lips still fused together. Tongues had joined in, swiping and teasing at each other as hands already began to reach for clothes fastenings.

Regina allowed Emma to undress her first. The sweater was peeled off, leaving her hair splayed out over the bedcovers and her shin shivering at the abruptly cool air. Or Emma’s intensely hot kisses. Regina wasn’t sure which. Pale fingers ghosted down her arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake before hands cupped her breasts. She arched into the touch, her chest pushed against Emma’s palms and she squeezed, feeling the generous globes spilling from her hands. Her slacks and socks went next, pulled off and tossed aside leaving her in just a strap top and black lace underwear. Regina had changed just before they put Henry to bed. Emma’s hungry gaze roved over her body until they landed on dark brown eyes. She climbed back on top of Regina, her tongue plundering her mouth in a needy, desperate kiss.

Emma could feel her own centre throbbing, her underwear already damp. It didn’t matter what she had confessed to Regina earlier, at that moment in time, all she needed was the brunette’s naked flesh against her own. As soon as the strap top was tugged over Regina’s head, eager hands fumbled for Emma’s own clothes. Her hoodie was thrown aside, her jeans unfastened and wrestled down her legs, the tight material causing both women to huff in frustration. Once free however, Emma pulled her own tank top over her head before she knelt over Regina and kissed her once more.

Regina sighed into the kiss. It was slower and more tender than those they had shared so far, and she delighted in the way Emma was above her, surrounding her. She could feel the blonde’s body heat radiating down, her own skin burning hot where the blonde’s thighs pressed against it. Without thinking, Regina reached up and wrapped her arms around Emma’s back.

The kiss stopped.

Through the dim light of the bedroom, Regina watched green eyes blown wide with a mixture of arousal and fear. She didn’t move, her hands splayed over the blonde’s back. Beneath the smooth skin of her palms, however, Regina could already feel the ridged, scarred, puckered tissue of which Emma had spoken about. She tried not to react but she felt her features momentarily contort. Emma saw it. Pity. Again. She gave the tiniest shake of her head. Regina understood and lifted her hands from the blonde’s body, placing them on the mattress beside her head.

“Thank you,” Emma whispered, leaning down and kissing Regina again.

It was hard. Really really hard. Regina so wanted to touch Emma. She wanted to tell her she didn’t mind. She wanted to tell her that she was still beautiful. But she didn’t want to push too far. So instead she gripped the sheet beneath her fingers, willing herself not to touch the woman who had begun to lay a trail of soft, sucking kisses down the column of her throat. As a tongue swirled into the dip of her collarbone, she let out a throaty moan.

Emma’s insides tightened at the sound. She had wanted this to be slow. She had wanted this to be special. But at that very moment, all she needed to do was take Regina Mills for her own. Her hand slid behind Regina’s back, expertly undoing the bra fastening and pulling the lace cups free. Without even looking, her mouth covered a dark, erect nipple, her tongue swirling over the peak before her teeth trapped it lightly between them.

Regina’s hands flew to Emma’s head, holding the blonde tight against her breast. She could practically feel the younger woman smirking against her flesh but she didn’t care. Fingers came up to play with her other nipple and Regina cried out.

“Shhh,” came the mumbled reply.

Regina wasn’t used to having sex with Henry in the penthouse. In fact, now she came to think of it, this would be a first. She wondered how on earth she was going to be able to stay quiet just as Emma’s mouth began to make its way southwards.

A tongue danced along the edge of the black lace, wetting the skin and making Regina squirm.

“Ticklish?” Emma asked.

“Perhaps,” Regina replied.

Emma just smirked and placed a final kiss to the middle of Regina’s lower abdomen before she hooked two fingers into the panties and slowly slid them down silky, toned legs. As Regina’s sex was reveal to her, Emma felt her mouth go dry. She had always preferred it when Lily was cleanly shaven and she wasn’t surprised to learn that Regina groomed herself that way too. The skin was hairless, smooth and perfect. Dropping the last scrap of clothing on the floor, Emma gently nudged Regina’s thighs apart and settled herself between them. She licked her lips. Dark pink flesh, glistening with the brunette’s essence greeted her, a heady scent of wanton lust rising from Regina’s core. She placed her hands on the older woman’s inner thighs, spreading them further apart, and dipped her head.

Regina, who had propped herself on her elbows to watch this moment, collapsed with a shout. Quickly clapping her own hand over her mouth, she gasped as she felt Emma’s tongue part her folds. The hot, slippery muscle moved strongly and with purpose, swiping up from her entrance straight to her clit before repeating the move. The lapping bumped her bundle of nerves and sent jolts of delight through her body. But she needed more.

As if she had read Regina’s mind, Emma sealed her mouth around Regina’s clit, sucking carefully on the sensitive area before her tongue laved it soothingly. Regina’s fingers threaded through Emma’s hair, needing to keep the blonde exactly where she was. But Emma wasn’t planning on moving any time soon. She pushed her face even closer into Regina’s cunt, her taste and smell overwhelming her senses in the most delicious way imaginable. Using the flat of her tongue, Emma covered Regina’s clit, pressing firmly down as she increased her sucking. The bucking hips towards her face confirmed that Regina enjoyed Emma’s move so she did it again, the pressure from her tongue harder still as her lips surrounded her core.

The thighs surrounding Emma’s head began to shudder and she broke away, not wanting Regina to peak too soon. Before Regina could complain however, Emma moved her tongue to the pulsing, wet hole, circling it once before pushing inside. Regina’s taste was stronger here, the juices coating Emma’s chin as she slowly tongue-fucked the brunette, making sure her nose touched her clit with every thrust. Regina thrashed on the bed, her sensations overwhelmed with pleasure. She could feel Emma’s tongue inside her, hot and slick, and it felt amazing. Her fingers tightened in Emma’s hair and the tongue went deeper, lapping at her insides as more come flowed from within her.

Emma couldn’t wait any longer. She moved her hand to Regina’s neglected clit and used two fingers to rub tight, hard circles over the nerves, quickening her pace as she felt the muscles of Regina’s inner walls begin to spasm against her tongue. She thrust harder, her fingers speeding up as she felt the first flood of juices spill onto her tongue. She drank greedily, knowing as she did so that she would never get enough of the woman on the bed.

Regina had thrown a pillow over her face and was all but screaming into it, her hips bucking so wildly that Emma pinned her down so she could fuck her through the rest of her orgasm. Her heart pounded in her chest as she felt her body convulse again and again, every touch from Emma’s fingers or tongue seemingly causing another mini-peak. Eventually she lay limply on the bed, her body spent and covered in a light sheen of sweat. Emma slowed her movements and finally stopped, carefully pulling back from Regina’s sex and crawling up the bed to collapse beside the brunette.

Turning towards Emma, Regina sought out her come-covered lips. She was unashamed to admit that she loved the taste of herself on her lovers mouths. It tasted different on Emma’s lips than it had on Dani’s, but she loved it regardless and Emma kissed her back eagerly, turned on herself that Regina liked her own flavour. In fact Emma was more than turned on, her insides were practically burning with desire and she didn't think she’d be able to last long when those delicate olive-skinned fingers finally touched her.

“Wow,” Regina said breathlessly as she rolled on top of Emma minutes later.

“Right back at you,” Emma said, biting her lip as she felt Regina’s wet sex rubbing against her stomach.

Regina smiled dopily down at Emma before she kissed her again. She may have just had one of the most earth-shattering orgasms of her life but Regina hadn’t forgotten what had happened earlier. So instead of sliding her hands beneath the blonde, she waited until Emma herself undid her bra, leaving her breasts exposed to the older woman for the first time. Regina thanked her by peppering the pale skin with kisses, laving the nipples before twisting them into hard peaks. From the way Emma had behaved with Regina, the brunette guessed she liked things a little rough at times. She was right and it was Emma who had to be told to be quiet when teeth nibbled their way along the underside of her breasts before capturing a tortured nipple and biting.

“Regina,” Emma gasped. “If you don’t touch me right now, I might explode.”

Regina laughed throatily. “Oh, my dear, if you’re exploding anywhere, it’s going to be with me kneeling between your thighs.”

Emma groaned as she watched Regina scoot herself backwards on the bed, practically ripping Emma’s panties from her body. They were nothing special; Emma didn’t have nice underwear, but from the way Regina was looking at her, the blonde felt like she was wearing the most expensive clothes in the world. And then she remembered she wasn’t wearing clothes and Regina was just looking at … her.

A single finger trailed almost lazily through Emma’s labia, sliding easily through the essence gathered there. As Emma watched, Regina raised her finger to her lips and sucked. Emma swallowed. She didn’t think she had ever seen anything so sexy in her life and when Regina let out a sigh of delight, Emma almost came.

“Fuck, Regina. Please,” she said through gritted teeth, canting up hips up in desperation.

Regina knew she had teased the blonde enough. Her finger returned at once to Emma’s core, rubbing up and down several times before pinching her clit and rolling the bundle between two fingers. With the lingering taste of herself still in her mouth, Regina dipped her mouth to Emma’s sex. It was even better straight from the source. Rich and tangy and so uniquely Emma. She circled Emma’s entrance before focusing immediately on her clit. Regina knew it wasn’t going to take long. She pushed one finger, then two, into the blonde as she swiped and laved the rigid nerve bundle. Emma’s walls stretched around the intrusion, squeezing tight as they pumped in and out. Regina curled them, stroking the ridges until she found that spot deep inside which made the blonde all but scream.

Thoughts of Henry sleeping one room away were forgotten and Regina focused only on Emma’s pleasure. The blonde bucked into the thrusts, her hips moving erratically as she peaked. Regina’s mouth was unrelenting, her tongue flickering over Emma’s clit as her fingers were flooded by a rush of come. She could feel her own sliding down her thighs and knew she was already eager for Emma to touch her again.

A hand on her head told Regina that Emma couldn’t take any more. She moved away, sucking her fingers clean and licking her lips. Green eyes blinked open as she settled beside Emma, a lazy smile on both their face.

“That was …,” Emma began, trailing off when she realised Regina had fucked her brains out.

“Agreed,” Regina nodded, pulling the discarded comforter over their bodies before they got cold.

Emma rolled onto her side, an arm around Regina’s waist, and nuzzled into her neck.

“Give me five minutes and you can go again,” she murmured, kissing the sweat-slicked skin beneath her mouth.

“No rush, darling,” Regina chuckled. “We’ve got all night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: don’t be shy …


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry about the delay. My weekends are reserved for drinking and hangovers, neither of which are conducive to writing. But I hope you like where I’m going with this. The next storyline is looming …

Emma woke first, a chink of sunlight landing on her face from a gap in the curtains. Her nose was buried in soft brown hair and it took a moment for her to remember where she was. A smile spread slowly over her face as she realised whose naked body her arms were wrapped around. She snuggled closer, pressing a soft kiss to Regina’s shoulder as she pulled the brunette tighter to her. They had fallen asleep, exhausted, in the early hours, after exploring each others’ bodies over and over again. Emma could feel a familiar ache between her thighs, her sex already tingling as she felt Regina’s bare butt pressed against her pubic bone.

A small cough from the foot of the bed made Emma snap her eyes open. Ok, so perhaps she hadn’t been the first in the house to wake up. She craned her neck and peered through the darkness until she saw two hazel eyes looking at her curiously.

“Mama?” Henry asked, already pulling on the duvet to lift himself onto the bed.

“Hi Henry,” Emma said, quickly checking both she and Regina were covered up as the boy climbed up and began to crawl towards them.

Regina stirred in Emma’s arms and opened her eyes just as Henry lay down beside her. She smiled lazily at her son before her eyes widened and she took in the fact that two arms encircled her very naked frame.

“What’s Emma doing in here, Mama?” Henry asked.

Although the boy might be aware of his mother’s relationship with Emma, that didn’t mean at the age of four he truly understood what the two of them dating entailed. Since he had never experienced his mother in a relationship, he was unaccustomed to finding someone else occupying her bed.

“Um, Emma decided to sleep in here last night,” Regina offered.

“Did you have a bad dream?” Henry asked, turning his attention to the bright green eyes watching him over his mother’s shoulder.

“Yep,” Emma nodded, seizing the excuse the small child gave her.

“Mama’s good at making me feel better when I have a bad dream too,” Henry said. “What are we going to do today?”

Regina turned around to look at Emma, raising an eyebrow in question. They hadn’t discussed any plans for Sunday, neither woman capable of thinking past Saturday night.

“How about the zoo?” Emma suggested. “I know you guys have been wanting to take me for a month now and since it looks like the sun is out, I reckon a day in Central Park might be the perfect way to finish off this weekend.”

“Yay!” Henry cheered, standing up and bouncing on the bed in celebration.

Emma’s arms wrapped protectively around Regina, pulling her out of the way of the tiny feet which threatened to land on her. Regina herself grabbed the duvet, ensuring their naked bodies remained covered as Henry’s excitement tugged the duvet this way and that.

“Why don’t you go and get dressed, little prince,” Regina suggested. “And Emma and I will meet you in the kitchen for pancakes in a few minutes.”

“Ok!” Henry shouted, bouncing his way to the edge of the bed where he slid to the ground and raced out of the room.

Regina chuckled and rolled over in Emma’s arms. She kissed the flushed blonde softly and rested her forehead against Emma’s.

“Morning,” she murmured.

“Good morning,” Emma smiled. “Think we got away with that?”

“I think we probably need to remember to put clothes on before we pass out next time,” Regina said, sliding her leg teasingly between Emma’s own thighs.

“Oh so there’s going to be a next time, is there?” Emma asked, her hands sliding up and down Regina’s back.

“There’d better be,” Regina said, a lazy kiss landing on Emma’s lips. “But right now, I think we ought to get dressed and go and find Henry.”

The brunette kissed Emma once more before sliding from the blonde’s warm embrace and out of bed. Emma watched as the naked body moved gracefully through the bedroom towards the ensuite, her silhouette gloriously illuminated when the light was turned on. As soon as the door shut, Emma got out of bed herself. Despite everything the two of them had done the night before, the intimacy of their relations, she wasn’t ready for Regina to see the scars on her back. She dressed in her clothes from the night before and then sat back down on the bed, not wanting to disappear to her own room before Regina re-emerged.

When she did, Regina’s skin was sadly covered, a silk gown tied tightly at her slender waist. She smiled at Emma and walked straight towards her, kissing her tenderly and looping her arms around the blonde’s neck.

“I’m going to head back to my room and change,” Emma said when they broke apart.

“And you waited until I came out of the bathroom to tell me that?”

Emma grinned. “I didn’t want you to think I’d done a runner.”

“Of course,” Regina laughed. “It’s not like I don’t know where you live.”

Emma blushed. Regina bit her lip, realising what she had said.

“Emma, I didn’t mean -,”

“It’s fine,” the blonde said. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

She kissed Regina once more before she walked out into the corridor, leaving Regina to mentally scold herself for speaking before she had thought it through. She knew sooner or later they were going to have to address the unconventional living arrangement they had fallen into, but at that moment Regina really didn’t want to disrupt her seemingly perfect life. Regina sighed and headed towards her wardrobe to select an outfit.

* * *

By the time Emma appeared in the kitchen, Henry already had pancake batter in his hair. Regina had turned her back for half a second and the stirring of the mixture had become unnecessarily rigorous and splattered the work surface. And Henry.

“Emma!” Henry called at her as she sidled up to the kitchen island. “Look! I’m cooking.”

“You certainly are,” Emma nodded. “So, Chef Henry, what can I have on my pancakes this morning?”

“Blueberries or chocolate,” he announced.

“Can I have both?” Emma asked, nodding her thanks to Regina who had just placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her.

“Mama doesn’t let me have both,” Henry frowned.

“Oops,” Emma said, looking guiltily at the brunette who was rolling her eyes in an over-exaggerated way.

“Perhaps just this once,” Regina conceded. “After all, it is a special occasion.”

“Oh yeah?” Emma asked. “And what occasion is that?”

Regina didn’t answer, she just leaned over the counter to kiss Emma quickly before turning back to her son and stopping him just in time from pouring the entire pancake mixture into the pan.

* * *

As soon as they entered the zoo, Henry took off, weaving expertly through the crowds with his mother and Emma hurrying to keep up. Regina had tried half-heartedly to stop him running ahead but as long as his mop of brown hair was still in sight, she decided to let him get on with it. Nothing would stop Henry when he was on a quest to see his beloved monkeys. By the time Emma and Regina arrived at the enclosure, Henry’s face was pressed against the fence, his smile wide as he watched the monkeys scampering about before him.

“Mama, that one looks like Marlo,” Henry announced, pulling the stuffed toy from his coat pocket and holding him up to the fence as if to show him his real-life counterpart.

“Yes, so he does,” Regina nodded, crouching down beside Henry and following his line of sight. The monkey in question was swinging in an old car tyre, his small eyes scanning the faces looking in at him. Regina didn’t much like the idea of keeping a wild animal in a cage, but she couldn’t deny how delighted her son looked at being so close to his favourite animals.

Emma crouched on Henry’s other side. “Look, kid,” she said, pointing to the far side of the enclosure. “That monkey has a baby.”

Henry watched as a female monkey stalked across the ground, a tiny baby clinging to her belly as she went. The three of them watched as she hopped up into a tree, her baby still holding tightly to her fur. Once she was settled, the youngster climbed off and scampered over to where another little family was sitting on the branch.

“They’re friends,” Henry smiled. “Look, they’re playing together.”

“Just like you and Nick,” Regina said.

She hadn’t mentioned Henry’s former playmate since she had pulled him from the child-minder’s almost two weeks previous. But she had already decided that Henry would be going back there and she needed to broach the subject.

“Yeah,” Henry nodded. “But sometimes Nick is mean to me.”

“You know, every now and then friends don’t like each other for a little while but then they say sorry and everything is alright again,” Emma said.

“Like you and Ruby?”

Sometimes Regina forgot how perceptive her four year old could be. She also forgot that he liked to eavesdrop on the conversations between herself and her best friend. When Emma had been MIA, Regina and Ruby regularly spoke about where the blonde might be and how infuriating it was that she had disappeared without a word.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “A few weeks ago things got a little difficult but we’re friends again now. Remember how she came over last night to look after you? We were nice to each other then, weren’t we?”

“Yes,” Henry replied. “Because you’re friends.”

“Do you think maybe you and Nick can be friends again tomorrow?”

“Am I going back to Zelena’s?” Henry asked.

“I’d like you to, yes,” Regina nodded. “I know you’ve had lots of fun with Emma but it’s also fun to play with Nick and Ava and the other children there, isn’t it.”

“Ok,” Henry said, nodding his head before turning his attention back to the two young monkeys who were play-fighting on the branch, watched on by their respective mothers. Regina glanced at Emma and smiled softly before they both turned back to the enclosure.

It was still a week until March but Henry insisted it was warm enough for ice cream. Regina relented only when she saw they had honeycomb, her favourite flavour. Emma, of course, was always up for a sugary treat. As they strolled through the park with their ice creams, Emma’s hand slipped into Regina’s. The brunette squeezed softly and said nothing but her heart thumped a little harder at the feeling of Emma’s skin against her own.

* * *

“I can still drop Henry off in the morning for you,” Emma offered. It was Sunday evening and the two women were sat on the couch after putting Henry to bed. It had officially been decided that Henry would return to his usual routine the following day which meant Emma no longer had anything to do.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Regina asked.

“Not at all,” Emma assured. “I liked doing it and this way I have a reason to get up. Otherwise I’ll just stay in bed all day and get depressed about my lack of a job.”

“Still no calls?”

“No,” Emma sighed. “But I’m sure something will come up soon.”

Regina shifted on the couch. “You know I’d like you to look after Henry all the time, right?” she said. “I don’t want you to think I’m firing you or anything.”

“I know,” Emma assured. “I was doing you a favour for a couple of weeks and I’ve had an amazing time with the kid but you’re right; he does need to be spending more time with kids his own age.”

Regina kissed Emma, their lips meeting for the umpteenth time that day and still their skin tingled with delight. Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and tugged her down until she was lying on top of the blonde. Before things heated up too much however, Regina pulled back, knowing there was one more thing she needed to speak to Emma about.

“I, um, I made that call,” Regina said.

“What call?” Emma frowned, her hands stroking up and down Regina’s back as the brunette still lay atop her.

“To my contact in criminal law who has links to the parole office,” she elaborated.

Immediately the fingers tensed on her back, Emma’s face went rigid and grew paler.

“Oh,” she said as Regina sat up, pulling Emma back to a sitting position too. “What did they say?”

“He can see you tomorrow afternoon,” Regina said. “He’s got all your details and he’s going to make some calls to Tallahassee and hopefully sort everything out for you. We both think that under the circumstances and given what you’ve been through since, they’re not going to make too much of a problem for the fact that you skipped town. But you will be required to attend regular meetings up here, of course.”

“Ok,” Emma said quietly. “When’s the meeting?”

“It’s scheduled for three o’clock,” Regina replied. “The offices are not too far away and then he’ll escort you down to the parole officer.”

“What’s his name?” Emma asked.

“David Nolan,” Regina said. “We went to law school together and have stayed in touch. In fact, he’s engaged to my assistant. He pursued criminal law whereas I followed my mother’s footsteps into corporate so we don’t see each other much professionally. He’s a good guy though, and powerful. With him in your parole meeting, I’m sure everything will get sorted out.”

“Thanks,” Emma said.

“They should be able to find you some work too,” Regina added. “Plenty of employers are registered with the parole office as open to interviewing people with criminal records.”

“The jobs are always shit though,” Emma grumbled. “I did some seriously sketchy gigs in Tallahassee through the parole office.”

“What job did you want to do?” Regina asked. “I mean, when you were in school, what were your ambitions?”

“What makes you think I’m not exactly where I wanted to be?” Emma deadpanned. Regina just folded her arms, waiting for a serious answer. “I loved to write,” she admitted. “I wanted to be a journalist, a reporter for the New York Times or maybe do investigative pieces abroad. It was the only subject I was ever any good at so I figured I might as well play to my strengths. But then I never finished high school and without a college education, there aren’t many opportunities.”

“Do you still want to pursue journalism?” Regina asked.

“I’d love to,” Emma admitted. “But I’m rather have a realistic aim to be honest. I know I’m never going to be a writer now, not with a criminal record.”

“Maybe not for a high profile news paper,” Regina conceded. “But I bet you could write some fascinating pieces about your life. Experiences don’t have to be positive to be of interest to people. Think of the success of Orange is the New Black.”

Emma chuckled. “You want me to write about my time in prison?”

“Not necessarily,” Regina said, shaking her head. “But what I’m saying is, don’t limit yourself to writing for a newspaper. If you can tell a story and weave together a narrative, why not write about what you know?”

“Being a screw-up?”

“Living a hard life,” Regina corrected. “And coming out the other side.”

“I don’t think I’m quite out yet,” Emma said. “I’m still homeless, still don’t have a job. And let’s face it, in theory I could find myself back in prison this time tomorrow if this new parole officer doesn’t like me.”

“That won’t happen,” Regina assured her. “But if you want me to come with you as well as David, I will.”

“No, I’ll be fine,” Emma sighed. “I’m just … I really want this to go well.”

“Me too,” Regina assured. “And I’m sure it will. In fact, I think we should plan to get a take-out tomorrow night in celebration.”

“Is this after the incident last week?” Emma frowned.

“Not at all,” Regina laughed. “Anyone can forget about pasta and leave it to boil over. I’ve told you, the cleaner will get the last of the burnt bits off the stove tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry,” Emma said. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” Regina assured. “And considering your track record, I think you did an amazing job to cook for Henry almost every night for two weeks.”

“Even if half the time you’d left the food prepared for us and the other half of the time we ate sandwiches?”

“Even then,” Regina laughed. “Come on, let’s head to bed. It’s getting late and we both have to be up early tomorrow morning.”

“Which bed?” Emma asked as they walked down the corridor.

“Mine?” Regina suggested.

Emma’s step faltered and Regina stopped beside her.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

Yet again they were faced with another unusual relationship dilemma just because they currently lived in the same house. Both women wanted, of course, to share a bed but would that be too much too soon?

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “Sorry, I was just … is this how it’s going to be now? Me sleeping in your room every night?”

“Not if you don’t want that,” Regina assured.

“Do you want that?” Emma asked.

“I want you,” Regina replied simply. “I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything but I do want you, Emma. Waking up with your arms wrapped around me this morning was amazing and I was just so happy. But I know that things are moving fast and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. If you’d like a night apart, you just have to say.”

“I don’t,” Emma said at once. “I want to be with you too. I just … it’s just strange.”

“What is?” Regina asked.

“How completely calm I am about all of this,” she shrugged. “I’m not a relationship person usually but with you, I just feel … happy.”

“Relationship?” Regina asked, her mouth twitching into a smile.

“I’m pretty sure this is a relationship, Regina, yes,” Emma laughed, resuming her steps towards Regina’s bedroom.

“Ok,” Regina smiled, closing the door behind the two of them and pinning Emma to it with a passionate kiss.

They spent over an hour bringing each other to climax before Regina eventually fell asleep, her head resting against Emma’s breast. The blonde stroked Regina’s side tenderly as she waited until she drifted off herself. Her fingers trailed over beautiful, unmarred skin, the olive tone a stark contrast to her own pale body. Regina was perfect. Her body was perfect. Everything about her was perfect. She didn’t even have stretch marks since she had never been pregnant with Henry and Emma shifted uncomfortably as she thought about her own flawed body. Once more that night she hadn’t allowed Regina to see or touch her back. As she thought about it, the damaged skin prickled painfully. It wasn’t real, she knew that. She knew it was just her mind playing tricks on her. But she also knew that sooner or later, Regina was going to see the marks.

Emma’s life hadn’t been easy; they both knew that. But her scarred back was a physical reminder of the pain and suffering in her past. It was a constant, endless, permanent mark which said; ‘your parents gave you up’, ‘you weren’t good enough for them’, ‘you weren’t loved’.

Emma Swan hadn’t been loved until she met Neal. Although she had since debated whether he had ever truly loved her. She might have been besotted with him but whether it was mutual, she was no longer sure. She’d been loved by Lily, she knew that. Which was why it had hurt so much more when she had left. Why it had caused Emma’s life to spiral out of control. When you’ve never had much love in your life, the loss of it is even more poignant, even more painful. Emma had lost four people in her life. Each loss had lead to a dark time. She couldn’t lose anyone else. She couldn’t lose Regina or Henry.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I considered writing a much longer intro and then leaving this chapter with a super nasty cliffhanger but I decided to be nice … for once!  
> I've also published a new one-shot today called Behave which is just sexy SwanQueen goodness for a reviewer over on ff.net - check it out on AO3 or here!

Emma sat nervously outside David Nolan’s office, her knees bouncing and her fingernails chewed until there was nothing left for her teeth to get at. The lawyer was running late, unsurprisingly. Regina had texted Emma wishing her good luck but apart from making the blonde smile momentarily, she didn’t feel any better. If this meeting went badly, Emma might find herself on the next bus back to Florida. The corridor she was waiting in was wide and loud, people in business suits constantly rushing up and down it. Emma had borrowed one of Regina’s outfits for the meeting and kept tugging self-consciously at the too-short sleeves. Not that anyone was paying attention to her of course.

“Miss Swan?”

Emma’s eye snapped up and looked into the kindly face of a tall blonde man, blue eyes twinkling down at her as he held out his hand.

“Yes,” she said, getting to her feet and shaking the proffered hand. “Thank you so much for meeting with me, Mr Nolan. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Mr Nolan smiled. “I’d do anything for Regina.”

Emma knew that feeling. She followed the man into his office where she was invited to sit down. The rest of the meeting was a blur of questions, forms, and legal terms Emma didn’t fully understand. All she knew was David’s smile didn’t fade away as they spoke, so something must be going well. She had known fleeing Tallahassee was going to cause problems for her later but she couldn’t stay in the town a second longer, not after Lily had left.

“Just sign there and I’ll take you down to Cap’s office,” Nolan said, placing the last form in front of Emma.

“Cap?” Emma asked, scrawling her illegible signature on the paper in front of her. She hated her signature but it was such a hassle to change the messy scribble she had designed when she was fourteen and she’d never bothered to do so.

“My contact at the parole office,” Nolan explained. “A good friend of mine. He owes me a favour and said he’d take you on as long as I got everything smoothed over with Tallahassee.”

“And you did?”

“I did,” David nodded. “Once we sign a few more papers down at the parole office then you’ll be officially registered in New York and Cap can start getting you some interviews. Regina mentioned you were looking for employment?”

“I am,” Emma nodded, standing up and following the lawyer out of the room.

“What qualifications do you have?” David asked as they entered the corridor and headed towards the front doors.

“Not much,” Emma admitted. “I flunked out of high school and then ended up in prison shortly afterwards. I took a few classes in jail but they don’t exactly make your resumé sparkle to a potential employer.”

“Perhaps not but you present yourself well and you’re clearly intelligent,” David said, as they emerged into the weak afternoon sunlight and he hailed a passing cab.

Emma didn’t know how to answer the charming man beside her. She knew she was bright. Her teachers had said as much, even as she passed fleetingly through her many schools. But without pieces of paper to prove as much, the verbal accolades were worthless. As she climbed into the back of the cab, Emma fleetingly considered looking into how she could finish her high school education. The snap of the door and another question from David, however, distracted her seconds later.

The parole office was a drab grey building a few blocks away from where David Nolan’s law practice was. As they pulled up to the curb, two burley, heavily tattooed men exited the gratified doorway. Emma tugged the sleeve of Regina’s suit down. She loved her tattoo but she sometimes wished she didn’t conform to the prison stereotype in that way. She followed David through the dark corridors, signed her name into the receptionist’s book, and continued to traipse after the tall man. He was chatting to her all the time but Emma wasn't listening any more. She had hated her parole officer in Tallahassee, a ratty, mean little man who had done little to help Emma when she had arrived. Hopefully David’s friend would be better.

“Cap!” David said, strolling into an open room on his right. “How’s life treating you?”

“I could complain but it wouldn’t do any good, would it? How about yourself? Wedding plans finalised?”

Emma never heard David’s reply however. Her body had frozen at the sound of the voice and her blood was running cold through her veins. She could heard her heart thundering in her chest and every nerve ending in her body told her to turn around and flee. Her vision went blurry and just as David’s face appeared around the doorframe, everything went dark.

“Yeah, she just collapsed. I’m with her now and Cap is waiting for the ambulance outside. Shall we meet you at the hospital or do you want to come here?”

* * *

The words took longer than usual to reach Emma’s brain and when they did they were sluggish and confused. She opened her eyes and slowly the dim room came into focus. She could see David Nolan standing above her, a cell phone to his ear, but didn’t recognise anything else.

“What happened?” Emma croaked, her voice tired and quiet.

David’s face loomed nearer to her own as he told whoever was on the phone that he had to go. His concerned blue eyes narrowed as he looked at the pale woman before him.

“Hey Emma,” he said softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Where am I?” Emma frowned, trying to sit up and feeling a throbbing pain on the side of her head.

“Cap’s office,” David said. “You collapsed in the corridor and bumped your head on the way down. Can I get you anything? The ambulance is a few minutes out. Cap’s waiting on the street for them now.”

“Cap,” Emma said slowly, the memory of what had happened before she blacked out coming back. “Where’s Cap?”

“Outside,” David reminded her.

“Don’t make me meet with him,” Emma said, her voice quavering.

“What? Why not?” David frowned. “He’s going to help you get work, remember?”

“No, he’s not,” Emma replied. “Please, Mr Nolan, please don’t let him come back in here.”

David frowned harder and glanced towards the door. He could already hear footsteps approaching down the corridor.

“Let’s get you to hospital to be checked out,” he said. “I’ve just called Regina and she’s meeting us there.”

“No, don’t make her come,” Emma said, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment (or as much as her circulation could muster - she was still very pale).

“Nonsense,” David said with a wave of his hand. “She was very concerned about you when I rang and I have no doubt that she will want to be with you in the hospital too.”

Emma’s eyes scanned the room, trying to work out if she could escape before the ever-nearing footsteps arrived in the doorway. Even if there had been another way out, she didn’t think her trembling legs would carry her.

“In here.”

Emma flinched again at the voice, shrinking back into herself just as the paramedics entered with a stretcher. One of them immediately knelt beside her and started checking her pulse. She would have batted them away but she was too busy staring at the man stood in the doorway.

“How are you doing, Emma?” asked Killian Jones as he advanced into the room.

Emma didn’t answer but her eyes burned with anger. David looked even more confused than before and glanced between his friend and the blonde.

“You need to come down to the ER and get checked out,” one of the paramedics was saying. “Just in case the bump is anything more serious than a knock to the head.”

“I’ll come with you,” David said at once.

“Me too,” Killian said, already reaching for his keys to lock the office.

“No,” Emma shouted. “No, just David.”

David raised his eyebrows at Killian who hesitated before nodding and taking his seat behind his desk. The cool blue eyes followed the pair as the paramedics led them out of his office and towards the ambulance.

* * *

Regina flew into the emergency room and ran up to the reception desk, her heels slipping slightly on the tiled floor.

“Emma Swan,” she gasped as she regained her balance. “Brought in by ambulance with David Nolan.”

“Regina.”

The brunette spun around at the familiar voice and almost cried with relief. Emma was perched on the edge of a hospital bed, her legs swinging through the air and an ice pack pressed against her temple. Regina rushed over at once and embraced the blonde.

“What happened?” she asked, checking Emma over with her eyes for any other signs of injury. She seemed fine, if a little pale, and of course there was whatever was under the ice pack.

“I fainted,” Emma replied.

“Why?” Regina asked.

Emma glanced around her before she shrugged and gave a minute shake of her head.

“Regina, that was fast.”

“David,” Regina said, giving her friend a peck on the cheek as he joined their group. “Thank you so much for calling me. I was just asking Emma what caused the incident but she hasn’t told me yet.”

“Nor me,” David replied. “But I’d be very curious to know myself.”

Emma stared at the floor, trying desperately to ignore the blue and brown pairs of eyes looking at her. She didn’t want to have this conversation, not here and certainly not with David. In fact, she’d rather never speak of what had happened to her in that office. Regina’s hand landed on her thigh and she flinched slightly but Regina didn’t move away.

“Emma, honey, what’s wrong?” Regina asked, her voice quiet and concerned.

“I’m fine,” she replied. “The doctor said as much just before you arrived. Please, can we just go home?”

Ignoring the fact that Emma had just referred to the penthouse as home, Regina held out her hand to help Emma off the bed. The blonde took it, even though she didn’t really need help, and the two of them began to walk outside to where Graham’s town car was waiting.

The drive back to the apartment was silent.

* * *

Henry was impressed with the lump on Emma’s head and the blonde’s eyes squeezed shut every time he poked it. Regina had reluctantly dropped Emma off at her Park Avenue address before driving to get Henry from Zelena’s. The three of them had eaten a simple dinner together and then Henry had insisted Emma give him his nightly bath. Regina wasn’t complaining, as long as it got Henry into the tub. It wasn’t until Henry fell asleep that Regina turned to Emma once more and asked the question she had been fretting over all afternoon.

“Emma,” Regina began, taking the blonde’s hands in her own and smiling softly, “what happened today?”

Emma knew this was coming. She even spent longer than necessary washing Henry’s hair just to prolong the moment when she would have to tell Regina what had happened. Because she couldn’t lie, not to Regina.

“I saw someone I used to know from my days on the streets,” Emma began.

“I can’t say that’s surprising at a parole office,” Regina frowned, knowing there was far more to the incident than simply seeing a familiar face. “What did this person do to you?”

Emma bit her lip, not wanting to answer that just yet. “No, I half expected to recognise someone, but not him.”

“Who?”

“I guess you’ll know him as Cap.”

“Cap,” Regina frowned. “Killian?”

Emma nodded, fighting desperately to stop herself from crying. Because her worst fears had been confirmed. Regina did indeed know her rapist.

“What about Killian?” Regina asked.

“How well do you know him?” Emma asked, needing to gauge Regina’s position on the man before she said any more.

“Well enough,” Regina shrugged. “I’ve known him since my sophomore year when I met him at one of David’s house parties. He was the captain of the sailing club at Yale, hence the nickname. He and David made quite the team on the water. But then after college Killian kind of went off the rails. Drugs, alcohol, gambling. If you can get addicted to it, Killian Jones did it. Rumour has it a few years ago he got in too deep with a dealer but his father bailed him out eventually, sent him to one of the best rehabs in the country and got Killian a job.”

“As a parole officer?”

“I think Mr Jones thought it might deter his son from continuing his downward spiral,” Regina chuckled. “Although how successful he’s been, I’m not sure. I rarely see Cap outside of social events when David brings him as a plus one.”

“I thought David was engaged to your assistant,” Emma frowned.

“He is but Mary Margaret is one of the most irritating people on the planet and doesn’t thrive at high society parties. She’s too awkward and socially inept. So David brings Cap. They’re like brothers despite having followed very different paths in life.”

And that was what Emma had been afraid of. Even before today, she had known any allegation of assault would stand a poor chance of reaching court nor gaining a conviction. Hookers never won a jury’s heart. And now she finds out that Killian Jones happens to be college pals with one of the most accomplished criminal lawyers in the city? Emma sighed and flopped back against the couch.

“Emma, darling, please tell me what happened today,” Regina said. “I’m starting to get a little scared.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Emma said, standing up and moving towards the door. “My head hurts. I’m going to bed. See you tomorrow.”

Regina watched her go, torn between running after her and giving Emma some space. The latter won and she stayed seated on the couch until she heard Emma’s bedroom door close. She stood and walked to her alcohol cabinet where she poured herself a glass of cider before returning to her previous spot. The drink slid easily down her throat but somehow it tasted a little different that day. Regina began to wonder how Emma might have run into Cap during the time she spent on the streets.

Of course, if Cap did still have a drug problem, Central Park was known as a place to score. And since Emma based herself there, it was completely plausible they would run into each other. Or maybe Cap was a parole officer for someone Emma knew. Perhaps August. Although Regina immediately felt bad for assuming the blonde’s homeless friend also had a criminal past. And it was hardly likely that Emma had gone to the parole office looking for work so that couldn’t have been the connection. There was only one other possibility.

The glass slipped from her slackened grip and landed on the couch, spilling the amber liquid all over Regina and the cream cushions. But she didn’t care. Jumping to her feet she ran out of the room and down the hallway. Her fists pounded on the closed door, not caring in that moment if she woke her sleeping son up. As soon as Emma opened up, Regina pushed her way inside.

“You had sex with Cap.”

It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Tears flowed down Regina’s face as she stood there, looking smaller than Emma had ever seen. The blonde said nothing but moved towards her bed and sat down, fiddling with the edge of her sleep shorts.

“Cap came to you when you were a prostitute.”

That word sounded wrong coming from Regina’s mouth and somehow Emma felt even worse than before. If Cap had merely been a client, perhaps they could have moved past this unpleasantness and come out the other side. But Emma couldn’t possibly see how Regina could ever look at her the same way after what she was about to say. Equally, she couldn’t not say it.

“He was,” she nodded. “And then, when I told him I wanted to stop hooking, he raped me.”

The loudest silence Emma had ever experienced followed this announcement. Every second stretched painfully into what felt like an hour, every sound drifting up from the street below magnified ten fold, every tear which slid down their cheeks a tiny representation of the aching pain each woman felt inside themselves.

Regina had known Emma had been raped, true. But somehow she had managed to eclipse that awful part of Emma’s past from her thoughts (most of the time). Now, however, she knew she would never be free of that fact. Emma had been raped. And the man who did it was not only free to roam the streets but someone she knew, someone she liked, someone she considered a friend. She felt sick and her legs trembled beneath her. She wasn’t even aware of the fact until Emma coaxed her to sit on the bed that she was close to collapsing.

“Cap?” she whispered, a finger rising to drift over Emma’s lip where the skin had been split when she had found her that day in the tunnel.

Emma nodded wordlessly and brushed some of Regina’s tears away. More fell in their place as Regina leaned into Emma’s touch until the blonde cupped her cheek and pressed her lips lightly to the older woman’s.

“Emma,” Regina whispered as they broke apart, “what are we going to do?”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delay. I had a bit of writers block and a busy week! But to make up for it the end of this chapter is mildly NSFW. Although I should also add a trigger warning here for discussions of rape.

Emma had known life wasn’t fair for as long as she could remember. Her earliest memories were those of abandonment and separation. At just a few weeks old, she had been adopted by a family who desperately wanted children but had been unable conceive. But that changed when Emma was two and her adoptive mother fell pregnant. She was sent back to the foster system and so began her life of transience. The longest she spent in any foster home was eleven months, and most were considerably shorter. She supposed she had been labelled as a problem child when she was about four. She had, for a long forgotten reason, bitten another kid. Biters were never tolerated.

By the time she was a teenager, Emma was used to looking after herself. It wasn’t like many of her foster parents had shown any interest in nurturing her. True, her cooking skills weren’t up to much but her shoplifting abilities were, so she managed to scrape enough money together for most meals. When she ran away at seventeen, she had no doubt that she could fend for herself. What she hadn’t anticipated was how her heart would lead her towards the fate it did. She supposed it was because she’d never had much experience of loving someone before so when she fell, she fell hard. Neal Cassidy had won her heart in just a few short months and broken it not much later. Abandoned in prison, alone once more, Emma had sworn she would never love again. But she had.

Lily was Emma’s saving grace when she arrived in Tallahassee and could find no trace of Neal. The woman had been there for the blonde at one of the most confusing and difficult times in her life and they had been great together. For over two years they had been happy. Or so Emma had thought. Lily leaving so abruptly had crippled Emma’s heart to a point from which recovery seemed impossible. Not only would Emma not allow herself to fall in love again but she doubted she was even capable.

But that was before she met Regina Mills, the woman now looking into her eyes with such concern and commitment that it scared her.

“Emma, what are we going to do?” Regina repeated.

“Nothing,” Emma sighed. “There’s nothing we can do.”

“What?” Regina frowned. “Of course there is. You know who your attacker is so we can go and have charges filed and begin to build a case against him.”

“There is no case,” Emma sighed. “There were no witnesses. I didn’t have a rape kit done and he used a condom anyway. It happened a month ago too so there won’t even be evidence in the tunnel. He’s got away with it, Regina, as he always knew he would. A prostitute was never going to go to the police, and now I know he’s from a wealthy family with such powerful connections, there’s no way I’m taking this forward.”

“So you’re just going to do nothing?” Regina asked. “You’re going to let him walk free in this city so he can attack other young women?”

Emma winced at the bite in Regina’s tone. She knew Regina wouldn’t truly understand where she was coming from but she had hoped for a little more support. Instead she was looking at this like a lawyer, not a girlfriend.

“Killian was one of my nicer clients,” Emma said. “Until that final night, he had never done anything to hurt me. If he does frequent other hookers, I doubt they’re in danger.”

“He’s a parole officer,” Regina said. “How can he be in that position and have his parolees best interests at heart? He’s probably fucked some of them before they went to prison.”

“Probably,” Emma nodded. “But what do you want me to do? Walk into a police station and say ‘hey, I got raped a month ago and am only just reporting it. I have no evidence and no witnesses, please arrest someone you probably know through your work.’ It’s not going to happen, Regina.”

“So you’re, what, giving up?” Regina asked. “That doesn’t sound like the Emma Swan I know.”

“Then I guess you don’t know me as well as you think,” Emma snapped back.

Hurt flashed across Regina’s face and Emma immediately felt guilty. She hadn’t meant to be so harsh but the day’s events were getting to her. She was sick of thinking back to that night, sick of reliving what Killian had done. The memory washed, unbidden over her once more, his hand sharp across her face and then his body above hers. After he had struck her, she had struggled no more and simply lay there, crying silently as he did what he wanted to her before leaving quietly into the night.

At the memory Emma dissolved into tears, her hands covering her face as she lay back on the bed and curled into a ball. Regina wrapped herself around the sobbing body, cradling Emma with her arms and legs, trying to make her feel safe and wanted. She didn’t say anything. Once again, Regina Mills didn’t know what to say.

When she finally stopped crying, Emma turned awkwardly in Regina’s tight embrace and looking into the concerned gaze of her girlfriend.

“Can we not talk about this any more tonight?” Emma asked. “I’m really tired.”

“Of course,” Regina nodded, moving to get off the bed but a hand encircled her wrist, tugging her back down.

“Stay in here with me?”

Wordlessly, Regina nodded. She got up and quickly retrieved her pyjamas and used her bathroom before returning to Emma’s room. The blonde was lying in bed with her back to Regina. Even through the dim light of the room, Regina could see the red scars protruding over the blonde’s strap top. It was the first time Emma had permitted her to see them. Or perhaps the younger woman had just forgotten. Maybe she was too tired and upset to care. Regina bit her lip and tried to stop tears forming in her eyes. She turned off the light, plunging the room into darkness and eclipsing the scars from her view. Climbing into bed, she put her arms around Emma again and was allowed, for the first time, to be the big spoon. Emma could feel Regina’s warm body pressed against her scarred back but instead of feeling the anticipated fear she felt … calmer.

Neither said a word as they lay there but it took a long time for both of them to fall asleep that night and when they did, their dreams were plagued with nightmares.

* * *

The morning was quiet. Emma kissed Regina on the cheek and told her to have a good day as she headed out the door with Henry to drop him at nursery. When Regina had awoken that morning, Emma was already in the shower and they hadn’t had a chance to talk. Although, to be fair, neither woman quite knew what to say.

When Regina and Henry returned home, they found Emma immersed in a book. Regina smiled as she realised it was Watership Down and decided not to disturb her. She sent Henry to the bathroom to wash his hands for dinner whilst she put the left-overs from the day before in the oven to heat up. Just as she was laying the table, Emma entered the kitchen.

“Hey, how was your day?” Emma asked, walking over to Regina and kissing her softly.

“Fine,” Regina replied, immensely relieved that the blonde seemed to be acting normally with her. “How was yours?”

“Quiet,” Emma admitted.

“Did David call you?”

Regina knew that her friend had phoned Emma already because he had then contacted Regina to find out how the blonde was after he couldn’t get through directly. But she was curious to know whether Emma had spoken to the man at all.

“Several times but I didn’t answer,” Emma replied.

“Emma, you’re still going to need -,”

“Hi Emma!” came Henry’s cheery voice as he trotted into the kitchen.

“Hey little man,” Emma grinned, glad of the distraction and sweeping the boy up into her arms and placing him on the counter beside her. “How was nursery this morning?”

“We made playdoh and then Grace ate some and was sick,” Henry announced.

“Oh dear,” Emma chuckled. “Well at least you won’t make that mistake yourself.”

“It was too salty,” Henry said, making a face at the memory. “I didn’t want to eat any more but she just kept eating.”

“Any more?” said Emma and Regina in unison.

Henry just grinned at them, his heels banging into the cupboard front as he swung his legs back and forth. Emma rolled her eyes. Children really would put anything in their mouths.

“Emma, can you read me a story?” Henry asked as Regina rubbed his body dry with a towel after his bath.

“Which one?” Emma asked.

“How Mrs Monkey Missed the Ark,” Henry suggested.

“Again?” Emma sighed. She had already read that particular book countless times since she arrived in the Mills’ family penthouse. “How about I tell you a story from my brain and you get to pick who the main character is?”

“Can you tell me a story about Marlo?” Henry asked, eyes lighting up at the idea of a book starring his very own favourite monkey.

“I sure can,” Emma nodded, following the now naked boy as he scampered into his bedroom and began searching for his pyjamas.

When he was happily tucked into his bed, Emma sat beside him and began.

“Once upon a time there was a little monkey named Marlo. Now, Marlo was a very naughty little monkey and he was always getting into trouble. One day, Marlo’s mother needed some more bananas so she asked Marlo to go to the local banana tree store and get some. ‘And don’t stop to talk to anyone,’ Mother Monkey said, ‘or you won’t have any dinner’. On the way, Marlo saw his friend Poppy playing in a tree. Marlo remembered what his mother had said about not stopping but decided that it wouldn’t matter if he said hello …”

Regina turned away from the scene in front of her and headed into the kitchen to finish cleaning up after their dinner. She had never seen anyone quite so at ease with her son. Emma had simply taken to the small boy and the same could be said for Henry. Even Ruby, whom Henry had known all his life, wasn’t as naturally good with him. She briefly wondered what would happen if Emma, for some reason, disappeared from their lives. How would Henry cope with the loss? Shaking the negative thought from her head, Regina poured herself and Emma more wine and moved into the living room where she waited for the blonde to finish her story.

“Out like a light,” Emma said when she reappeared. “I didn’t even manage to get Marlo’s punishment in. Which is a good thing I guess because I had no idea where I was going with the story by that time.”

“You’re great with him,” Regina said, handing Emma her wine as she sat down beside her.

“He’s great with me,” Emma shrugged. “Considering I pretty much gatecrashed your lives.”

“The gates were wide open for you,” Regina replied, sliding closer to Emma and curling into her side.

They sat there for a while, relaxing into each others’ presence again before the inevitably difficult conversation began. Surprisingly, it was Emma who spoke first.

“I know you think I should tell David about Killian, and I know you think I should go to the police, but I really don’t see what good could come from doing either of those things. David won’t believe his friend is capable of something so heinous and the cops won’t investigate. I’ll just have to relive what happened to me for nothing. It’s not worth it, Regina.”

The brunette turned her face to look up at Emma. She looked paler, and the bump on her head was still visible, a purple-blue bruise surrounding it. Emma looked back down at her, forcing a tight-lipped smile.

“It’s ultimately your decision,” Regina said, “but I would support you every step of the way if you did want to report what happened. And you don’t know that David wouldn’t believe you. He may well know about Killian’s use of prostitutes so from there your experiences will be more plausible for him.”

“No one wants to believe their friend is a rapist,” Emma sighed. “He’ll do whatever he can to avoid accepting the truth and I don’t have the energy to force him to see it.”

“And the police,” Regina continued. “Why not give them the benefit of the doubt and at least go and talk to them? I know recounting what happened will be hard but it might be worth it.”

“It won’t be,” Emma shrugged. “In my experience, the police have been less than helpful. People just fool themselves into believing they’ll get an Olivia Benson or a Kate Beckett on their own case who won’t rest until they’ve delivered justice. The reality is far more bleak.”

“What if they had evidence though?” Regina asked. “Security cameras of Killian entering the park or someone who saw you together at some point.”

“Neither of which make a solid case,” Emma replied. “And the only person who ever saw us together was August and I’ve not heard from him since he left for Chicago.”

Emma wasn’t exactly sure how she expected her former street friend to contact her but she had hoped for something; a letter, a phone call to the diner, something. But it had been almost two months since August headed out of the Big Apple and into the Windy City. Emma doubted she’d ever see him again.

“August was there the night it happened?” Regina asked.

“No,” Emma said, shaking her head. “But he had seen us together a few times. He knew about the arrangement we had. He even helped me to make Killian leave the day I told him I no longer wanted to continue it.”

“What’s August’s surname?” Regina asked, her brain already working furiously.

“Booth,” Emma replied. “But I doubt you’ll find him. He’s working for some cash in hand construction site in Chicago. He didn’t leave me any way of contacting him before you ask and I don’t know the name of the company.”

“Would you mind if I looked for him?”

Emma shook her head, leaning back against the couch and closing her eyes. “Go ahead. But it won’t help us. Even if you did find him, I’m not going to the police.”

“Don’t you want him to get what he deserves?” Regina frowned. “Don’t you want justice?”

“I want to move on,” Emma said, opening her eyes and trying to smile at her girlfriend. “I’m tired of my past dictating my future, Regina. I just want to start a new life where none of the crap I’ve been through follows me. But it seems that everywhere I turn there’s a reminder, even when I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“We’ll get you assigned to a different parole officer,” Regina said. “You’ll get a job and you’ll start to build your life back up. And I want to be there to help you, if you’ll let me.”

“I’d like you to be there too,” Emma smiled. “But right now, do you reckon you can build me up in your bed?”

Regina raised an eyebrow at the dark, predatory look which suddenly clouded Emma’s features. She almost rolled her eyes. Dani had also used sex to sidetrack Regina from arguments or problems they might have been facing. It seemed this was a trick she and Emma shared. But behind the lustful gaze, the brunette could also see pain and the young woman pleading for Regina to distract her, if just for a little while.

She reached out her hand and tangled her fingers with Emma’s. They walked silently down to Regina’s bedroom and closed the door. They remained quiet as they began to undress themselves, eyes locked on one another, and their clothes falling steadily to the floor. Only when Emma had tugged her sock from her foot did Regina rush forward and embrace her. Their naked bodies pressed tightly together, arms intertwined as their mouths joined.

Emma flinched but didn’t move as Regina’s palms splayed over her back. What were a few old scars compared to what Killian did to her mere weeks ago? The delicate fingers felt hot against the marks but she just kissed Regina harder, forcing herself not to cry. She pushed Regina towards the bed, her hands dropping to grasp the brunette’s pert ass. Regina landed heavily on the mattress with Emma on top of her, their mouths still battling for control. Emma relented. Regina thought the blonde might somehow need to allow her to take command.

She rolled them over, smiling down at the young woman as her hair splayed out over the pillows. Emma quirked her lips upwards in return before gasping at the feel of Regina’s fingers on her nipple. The older woman tweaked the already hard tip, Emma arching into the touch at once. They both felt the need to just completely be with each other, their bodies thrumming with want. Regina’s lips trailed away from Emma’s mouth until she reached her breast, taking the bud between her teeth and scraping the tender flesh.

Emma’s fingers tangled in Regina’s hair, a moan spilling from her lips which quickly turned into a gasp as Regina slid two fingers through her wet folds. Her green eyes black with arousal, Emma stared at Regina, who was smirking up at her from her breast as she slowly entered the blonde. A hiss of delight and the rocking of Emma’s hips told the brunette to keep going. There was no need to wait for Emma to be ready, she was already slick with want as the older woman started to pump. Emma’s legs fell wide apart, opening herself up to the woman above her. Regina’s mouth returned to her nipples, alternating attention between them as she drove Emma to her peak.

Twisting her thumb around, Regina pressed hard on Emma’s clit, her two fingers still thrusting in and out. Emma swore, her body convulsing as her orgasm exploded through her. She could feel nothing but Regina; her mouth at her breast, her fingers inside her channel, her thumb on her clit, her body hovering inches above her own. It was all Regina. Regina was all Emma needed.

She collapsed back to the bed, breathing hard. When she opened her eyes, Regina was lying next to her, a gentle smile on her lips. Emma returned it, lazy and satisfied.

“You’re beautiful when you come,” Regina murmured, placing a kiss to Emma’s lips. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Emma asked.

“For letting me in,” Regina replied. “For letting me know you, at least, know some of you. Thank you for trusting me enough to let yourself go for me. I’m honoured, Emma, and I think you should know that.”

Emma regarded her for a moment, a slight frown on her face at what she had heard.

“What do you see in me?” she asked after a while. “I mean, what could someone like you possibly want with someone like me?”

The answer came easily to the older woman.

“Everything,” Regina replied. “I see and want everything with you Emma.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: hope you like it! Have a great weekend to all my wonderful readers.

Regina signed the final sheet of paper and closed the file. She stacked it on the side of her desk and turned her attention to the calendar blinking at her on her computer screen. It was a reminder.

_Leave before 2pm on Friday afternoon._

She had set that reminder years ago, when she first negotiated working a half-day so she could spend the afternoon with Henry. She rarely heeded its command. But the knowledge that Emma and Henry would be arriving at Granny’s any moment and greeting Ruby made her really want to get out of her office as fast as possible. So she opened up her emails and started to reply to the most urgent ones which had flooded her inbox over the past two hours.

Within five minutes however, she was distracted by a squeal from the area outside her office. Mary Margaret’s excitement could be heard through the glass and Regina scowled as she got to her feet, grabbed the completed file, and marched to the door.

“What is going -? Oh, David,” Regina said, stopping in her tracks when she saw her friend turning towards her, Mary Margaret in his arms. “What are you doing here?”

“Popped by to see my fiancée and I wanted to talk to you,” David said, smiling widely. “Do you have a moment free?”

“Come on in,” Regina said, standing back to allow her friend to enter her office. “Mary Margaret, can you get this file copied and sent over to the client please.”

“Yes, Ms Mills,” Mary Margaret said, her cheeks a little pink from embarrassment.

When she returned to her office, David was admiring a newly acquired painting she had just hung on the wall. She sat down and waited for him to do the same.

“How’s Emma doing?” David asked when he eventually took the chair on the other side of the desk.

“She’s much better, thank you,” Regina smiled.

“Good, I was worried about her.”

“Me too.”

Regina and Emma had decided not to tell David what had happened between the blonde and Killian Jones. Well, Emma had asked Regina not to say anything as she still wasn’t taking the man’s calls herself.

“What happened to cause her to faint?” David asked. “And why hasn’t she called me back?”

Regina hated lying to her friends, but she didn’t want to betray Emma’s limited trust in her either. So she went with the excuse they had formulated.

“She hadn’t eaten anything that day,” Regina said. “She’d been very nervous about the meetings and had just skipped meals. And as for why she hasn’t called you back, I think she was a little embarrassed about what happened. She probably thinks she made a fool in front of you and Cap.”

“Nonsense,” David said with a wave of his hand. “Neither of us would think anything of the sort.”

“Nevertheless,” Regina shrugged, “she was wondering if it would be possible to be assigned a new parole officer, perhaps one who works a little closer to the penthouse so she doesn’t have to travel halfway across Manhattan every time they meet.”

“I don’t know anyone working in your area but I’ll ask Cap if he -,”

“No, don’t worry,” Regina interrupted. “I’ll find someone myself. In fact, if you give me Emma’s papers then I can arrange everything and you can get back to your work.”

David hesitated but after a moment he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a thin file. Regina took it, nodding her thanks.

“Ok, well I know you’re very busy so I won’t take up any more of you time but please tell Emma I say hello,” David said as he got to his feet.

“I will,” Regina replied. “See you soon David.”

“Yeah,” the man said, a slight frown on his forehead as he regarded his friend for a split second before turning and making his way out of her office.

* * *

Emma and Ruby sat side by side, watching in amusement as Henry concentrated hard. After a while, he reached out and poked the end of one block. When it moved, he grinned and pushed it a little harder. Once half of it had slid free, he reached around and pulled the wooden stick out, placing it triumphantly on the top.

“Your go, Auntie Ruby,” Henry smiled.

It was nearing four in the afternoon on Friday and the diner was quiet. So quiet, in fact, that Ruby had been sitting with Emma and Henry playing Jenga for over half an hour. They were waiting for Regina and, unsurprisingly, she was late. Just as Emma was finishing her next go however, the door opened and Henry smiled broadly.

“Mama! Look, I’m winning,” Henry said, waving enthusiastically as his mother walked towards the group.

“Very good, Henry,” she smiled, kissing him on the top of the head and then turning to place a soft kiss to Emma’s lips. “How was your day?”

“Nursery was great,” Henry said as he knelt up on the bench to reach a higher Jenga block. “We painted pictures of our favourite animal.”

“And you painted a monkey?” Regina asked.

“Yep,” Henry nodded. “It’s in Emma’s bag.”

As he was speaking, the blonde was already carefully pulling the rolled piece of paper out and handing it to the proud boy’s mother. Regina admired it for several minutes, pointing out all the excellent features. Ruby and Emma glanced sideways at each other and rolled their eyes. Although Henry was only four, the painting was certainly no masterpiece. However, parents would say literally anything about their own child’s art work. It was a universal fact.

“It’s going on the fridge as soon as we get home,” Regina announced, slipping it into her work folder to keep it flat. “And how was your day?” she asked once more, looking straight at Emma.

“Quiet,” the blonde said. “I fixed the window in your bedroom though.”

“Thank you,” Regina replied. “You didn’t have to do that, you know.”

“But I could and I was bored,” Emma shrugged. “It was no big deal, the lock just needed realigning.”

“Well, thank you anyway,” Regina said.

“You’re welcome,” Emma smiled. “How was work?”

“I wrapped up that case so I have nothing to do all weekend,” Regina smiled. “Which means I get to spend it with my two favourite people.”

“Oh, I’m afraid I have plans with Dot,” Ruby chimed in, a teasing glint in her eyes.

Regina laughed and Emma’s cheeks flushed a little. Regina and Ruby had been friends since they were little kids and the blonde somehow felt uncomfortable to be referred to as Regina’s favourite after such a short length of time. It was hardly true that Regina felt as strongly about Emma as she did about Ruby or Henry, after all. Unbeknownst to Emma, Regina was watching this flicker of self-doubt plague her girlfriend’s face and made a mental note to talk to her about it in the near future.

“Are you guys ready to leave?” Regina asked, turning to look at the Jenga tower which was teetering slightly to one side.

“As soon as this game is over,” Emma nodded. “Oh and I bought groceries so we can cook that Mexican dish you mentioned last night.”

“Emma, you didn’t have to do that,” Regina said softly, wondering as she did so how the blonde got the money to buy the food.

“It’s the least I can do,” Emma said. “And before you ask, I still had some money left over from when I was looking after Henry.”

Sometimes it scared Regina how well she and Emma knew each other.

* * *

Henry sulked for the rest of the evening. Neither woman was sure whether it was because he had lost the game or because one of the cascading blocks had hit him on the head and he was embarrassed. Either way, he remained grumpy until Emma offered to finish off the story she had told him a few nights previously. Regina sat on the end of the bed, listening to Marlo’s adventures and marvelling at the woman’s creativity.

“You should write that story down,” Regina said as they settled on the couch after wishing Henry goodnight.

“Why?” Emma frowned.

“Because it was good,” Regina shrugged.

“It was nothing special,” Emma said. “I just made it up as I was going along. There wasn’t exactly a plot.”

“Henry didn’t care,” Regina pointed out. “In fact, he loved it so much he already wants the sequel.”

“Henry loves anything with monkeys in it.”

“Perhaps,” Regina chuckled. “I still think you have a good imagination.”

Emma had to admit that was true. She loved being creative and often made up stories in her head. It was one of the many techniques she had used in prison to stop herself spiralling into a depressive state. It had also come in handy when she found herself on the streets of New York. Pretending to be someone else, or pretending to have a different life, allowed Emma to escape her own reality for a while. She always came back to earth with a thud however, realising where she was and that her situation was far more bleak than she had been pretending it was. Well, until she met Regina, she supposed.

“I saw David today,” Regina said, jolting Emma from her reverie.

“Did you tell him?” Emma asked at once.

“You asked me not to,” Regina reminded her. “So, no Emma, I didn’t.”

“Thanks. What did he want?”

“He asked how you were,” Regina said. “And then I told him what we agreed and said we’d be looking for a parole officer nearer here. I have your paperwork in my bag so we can do it without him now.”

Emma smiled weakly. “I’m sorry,” she offered. “I don’t mean to make you lie to your friend. I just don’t want to open the inevitable can of worms by telling him about Killian.”

“You really think you can just move on with your life without addressing what happened?” Regina asked. “You really want to just close the door to the past and pretend like everything is fine?”

“I want to try,” Emma said. “I can’t face going over it any more, Regina. Please, let’s not have this conversation again.”

Regina nodded, reluctant to accept what Emma asked of her but knowing nothing would come of pushing the blonde. Instead, she changed the subject.

“I asked Ruby to look after Henry on Sunday evening.”

“Why?” Emma frowned. She also wondered why their mutual friend hadn’t mentioned it during the three hours she had been at the diner that afternoon.

“Because it’s my turn to take you out on a date,” Regina smirked.

“Really? Where are we going?”

Regina laughed. “Do you honestly believe I’d tell you after you refused to tell me about our first date? Not going to happen, Miss Swan.”

Emma felt her core clench as she heard Regina call her that. Colour flushed her cheeks and, of course, Regina noticed.

“Oh, you like it when I call you Miss Swan?” the brunette asked, a teasing tone in her voice telling Emma she already knew the answer.

“Perhaps,” Emma said, her throat tight.

“Well,” Regina said, quickly swinging her leg over Emma’s lap and straddling the blonde, “Miss Swan. How about you show me how much you like it using your tongue.”

* * *

Regina glanced over the rim of her laptop as peels of laughter echoed through the living room. Henry and Emma were hidden beneath a mound of pillows, the largest yet make-shift fort the two of them had built. She smiled and looked back at the screen, scrolling through the endless google searches. She didn’t know exactly what she was looking for but she was determined to find it. She had spent several of her lunch hours (lunch half-hours, if she was honest) searching the internet for any sign of August Booth. Apart from his army service record and a small article in his local town’s newspaper about his tour in Iraq, she had found nothing. Although, to be fair, she was hardly expecting an announcement about his new job in Chicago, especially since he was being paid under the table. But she wasn’t going to give up.

“Mama, come and join us,” came Henry’s voice from inside the pillow fort.

Unable to resist her son’s plea, she closed the laptop and discarded it on the couch. Dropping to her hands and knees, she crawled her way between two large cushions and found herself at a ‘junction’. Impressed by Emma’s architectural skills, Regina turned left and followed the sound of her son’s muffled voice. Seconds later, she emerged in a surprisingly large space where Emma and Henry were sitting side by side.

“This is fantastic, Henry,” Regina exclaimed, sitting down beside her son and ruffling his hair.

“It’s my castle,” Henry announced. “I’m the king.”

“And what does that make Emma?” Regina asked, winking at the blonde who was making something out of paper but she couldn’t see what through the darkness.

“She’s my knight,” Henry said. “She defends the castle against dragons.”

“How brave,” Regina replied. “And what am I?”

Henry thought for a moment, his little forehead creased. “You can be the princess that Emma rescues from the tower,” he decided.

“I like that idea,” Emma piped up, placing what turned out to be a crown on Henry’s head. “There you go King Henry, your crown is complete.”

Henry reached up and admired, by touch, the new addition.

“Thank you, Knight Emma,” he said in a mock posh voice. “Now please go and rescue the princess who is stuck in the tallest tower and guarded by an angry dragon. I think she is in the kitchen and I think you should cook some pizza to stop the dragon being angry.”

Emma burst out laughing at the brazen request for their dinner. Regina chuckled too.

“Pizza, eh?” Emma said. “Well, I think I’ll check with the princess before I rescue her what exactly the dragon is allowed to eat.”

“He’s a dragon, he can eat anything he wants. Just like a king,” Henry pointed out.

“Yes but some food makes dragons sick. Like hamburgers and ice cream. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Emma said

“Well, yes, we would,” Henry frowned. “You want to kill the dragon, remember? Anyway, dragons don’t get sick from hamburgers, they get sick from spinach and cucumbers and mushrooms.”

“Then I suppose we’d better prepare lots of vegetables to defeat this dragon,” Regina said, trying hard not to laugh.

“What?” Henry exclaimed, wondering how his seemingly ingenious plan had backfired so quickly. “No! Mama, please. I want to eat pizza for dinner. Not mushrooms!”

Emma and Regina maintained control for a second longer before peels of laughter rang out through the pillows. Henry frowned harder and then stood up, his head bumping into the cushion above him and causing an avalanche. He stepped through the debris of his game and stomped out of the room. Regina and Emma looked at each other before laughing harder than ever.

“We’d better go and see if he’s ok,” Regina said after she had wiped the tears from her eyes. “We kinda ganged up on our little king back then.”

“He’s just so easy though,” Emma chuckled.

“Well he is only four, dear,” Regina reminded her.

“I’m four and a half,” came a grumpy voice from the doorway. “In September I’ll be five and then you won’t laugh at me.”

Regina beckoned Henry towards her and he reluctantly came back into the living room and plopped himself down in Regina’s lap, arms folded and a frown on his face.

“I’m sorry, Henry,” Regina said. “So’s Emma. We didn’t mean to laugh and we promise not to put mushrooms on the pizza tonight.”

“We’re eating pizza?” Henry said, his face lighting up at once.

“I think the king and his knight deserve something special for rescuing the princess, wouldn’t you say, Knight Emma?”

“I most certainly would, Princess Regina,” Emma nodded. “But I think each of us need to chose one vegetable to have on our pizzas otherwise we won’t grow up tall and strong.”

“I’ll have sweetcorn,” Henry said.

“Excellent choice, my king,” Emma said, standing up and beginning to tidy up the pillows and cushions.

Regina and Henry joined in to help and within ten minutes the living room looked good as new. With Henry sent to wash his hands to help the two women prepare the pizzas, Emma caught Regina’s arm.

“I know I wouldn’t make much of a princess,” Emma began, “but I’m certainly no knight. You were my saviour, Regina. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t found me in the tunnel that day. You know I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me, right?”

Regina stepped closer to the blonde and kissed her, a soft, tender kiss full of emotion and promise. Neither woman wanted to ever stop but eventually Regina pulled back, her brown eyes sparkling.

“Emma, you saved me too,” she whispered.

“From what?” Emma frowned.

“Before you, I never thought I would love again. I never through I would move on from Dani and be happy with another person, other than Henry. I’d given up on my future, I suppose. But now I know I was just waiting for the right time. Or rather, the right person.”

Emma’s breath hitched.

“Me?”

Regina rolled her eyes in an affectionate way and looped her arms around Emma’s waist before answering.

“Yes, Emma. You. I … I love you.”

Tears welled in Emma’s eyes too as she smiled down at the brunette, her heart brimming with happiness. She hadn’t felt this way in … well, forever.

“I love you too.”

They kissed until a soft tugging at Regina’s t-shirt broke them apart. Henry looked curiously up at the two women, confused as to why they were crying. Instead of asking a question, he wrapped one arm around each woman’s legs and hugged. Emma and Regina laid a hand on his back, their fingers tangling together as they pulled Henry close and they kissed softly once more.

“Can we make pizza now?” came Henry’s voice, breaking the beautiful moment in the most adorable way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: disclaimer - I honestly have no idea where I’m going with this Emma/Killian storyline. My fingers take on a life of their own when I’m typing and I don’t always know what’s going to come next. I have two possible outcomes in my head but one is unrealistic and the other isn’t really a happy ending (at least, not entirely). So … if you have any thoughts, please review or PM me! Don’t worry, between us I’m sure we’ll get to Emma and Regina’s happily ever after.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thank you for all your thoughts and advice on the last chapter - I now have a plan for finishing off this storyline but there’ll be a little angst on the way.
> 
> Mild NSFW.

 

“Where are we going?” Emma asked for the hundredth time, the whine in her voice making Regina roll her eyes.

It was Sunday evening and Regina and Emma were driving through the streets of New York, the blonde desperately trying to find out from the older woman where they were heading. She had nothing to go on except that it must be a nice venue since she had walked into her bedroom to discover a new dress laid out on her bed for her. Emma had protested, of course, but couldn’t deny that Regina had chosen well. The dark green dress fitted her perfectly, hugging her slender figure and bringing out her eyes. Her pale skin and blonde hair accentuated it even more, and Regina had positively stopped breathing when she first saw Emma that evening. She herself was wearing a simple cream dress, a string of pearls shining at her neck and a black scarf draped across her shoulders.

“I’m not telling you,” Regina chuckled, crossing her legs and leaning into Emma’s side as they rounded the corner and slowed in the busy traffic leading up to Times Square.

“Why not?” Emma asked. “I mean, I need to know how far away we are in case I need to eat this.”

She pulled out a cereal bar from her clutch purse, another gift from Regina, and waggled it between her fingers. Regina just laughed and shook her head.

“You’re not going to starve to death,” she assured the blonde. “We’re going to have something to eat in just a few minutes.”

Emma glanced out of the window and frowned. The bright lights ahead were looming closer but Times Square didn’t seem like the sort of place Regina Mills would frequently visit. Just as she was thinking this however, Graham swung the town car off Seventh Avenue and drove west.

“Broadway?” Emma gasped.

She had never seem a show on Broadway before. In fact, she hadn’t been to the theatre before. Ever. She turned to Regina and smiled widely, her mind already racing through a catalogue of billboards trying to determine which one they might be going to watch.

“Perhaps,” Regina nodded with a teasing smile. “But first I think I should feed you, no?”

“Please,” Emma nodded. She had hardly eaten any lunch in preparation for the night. She wanted to make the most of the inevitably amazing evening Regina would have planned.

The car turned onto Broadway and weaved through the crowded streets before taking another turn and stopping in a quieter side road. Regina thanked Graham and got out of the car, holding out her hand for Emma and escorting the blonde onto the sidewalk. Several people passing glanced at the two stunning women but neither noticed; Emma was too busy staring at the beautiful, grand restaurant front they were facing and Regina was too busy watching the blonde’s reaction. Her heart pounded at the look of awe on the delicate face.

“Ready?” Regina asked when it became apparent Emma wasn’t going to move from the spot.

Taking a deep breath, Emma nodded and turned to Regina. She smiled and laced their fingers together, allowing Regina to lead her into the entrance hall of the building. Emma took in everything as she passed; the white-gloved waiters, the silver platters, the plush carpets and the ornate chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. She had never been in a place quite like it in her life. Once seated opposite Regina in a high-backed chair, she exhaled with relief.

“You ok?” Regina asked, confused at the reaction.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “I’m just not used to being somewhere like this. I’m half expecting them to chuck me out as soon as they realise they’ve made a mistake.”

Regina smiled softly. “Emma, you’re not getting chucked out. You are stunning tonight and I promise you no one is looking at you like -,”

“Like what?” Emma asked, prompting Regina after she fell silent. “Go on, you can say it.”

Regina shifted uncomfortably in her chair, regretting even starting the previous sentence. “Like you used to live on the streets.”

The air somehow seemed to chill around the couple for a moment. Regina’s heart beat faster. Had she ruined their date already? Was Emma going to walk out on her? But then the blonde smiled and all the warmth rushed back into the room.

“Well even street rats scrub up pretty nicely when their girlfriends buy them amazing dresses. How did you know what size to get me?”

Regina raised an eyebrow and then laughed. “Really, Emma? You think by now I don’t know exactly what size you are?”

Emma blushed and smiled too, the memory of their time together the previous night washing over her. Their love making, for that was now what it was, had grown more passionate and more intense with each night they spent together. They were already becoming finely attuned to one another, after spending hours touching, kissing, and memorising every inch of the other’s body.

“So what show are we seeing?” Emma asked, just as a bottle of wine appeared on their table and was poured into their glasses.

“I’m not telling you,” Regina said, nodding her thanks to the waiter as he left.

Emma pouted but accepted the answer without argument, sipping her wine instead and marvelling at the exquisite taste. Regina, of course, knew how to chose a good bottle. And, as it turned out, she ordered perfectly too. Emma had been surprised when, five minutes after they arrived, platters of food were set down on their table until Regina explained she had called ahead and ordered a range of appetisers which would make up their meal.

“We have to be at the theatre in about an hour,” she explained, scooping up an oyster shell and offering it to Emma.

The blonde eyed the slimy food warily but at Regina’s encouragement, allowed the older woman to tip the shell up to her lips and she swallowed it down. Her eyes narrowed at the sharp lemon taste but she had to admit it wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be. Regina laughed at this and served herself one as Emma turned her attention to the paté.

* * *

Their heels clacked on the sidewalk as they hurried through the cold streets towards the theatres. Regina had somewhat lost track of time and they were in danger of being late. As the bright lights of Broadway came into view however, Regina was relieved to see the theatre they were heading into only one block away. Emma’s eyes scanned the billboards, wondering where Regina was taking her.

“Oh, not the Lion King?” she asked a little despondently as they passed that particular venue.

“Sorry,” Regina said. “But I have been meaning to take Henry for quite some time. Maybe in the summer?”

Emma nodded happily, already imagining sunny days in the park and picnics and Coney Island with the Mills family. Just as she was wondering whether Regina had ever been to the amusement park, she felt herself being tugging into a building before she had even looked up at the giant poster outside. She scanned the lobby area and a huge grin spread over her face.

“Wicked?” Emma asked, just as Regina reached a doorman and handed over the tickets she had produced from her purse.

“Indeed,” Regina nodded. “It’s a personal favourite of mine.”

Emma followed as Regina led the way into the theatre and an usher showed them to their seats. As soon as they sat down, Emma knew they must have cost a fortune. Their view of the stage was unobstructed, central, and the chairs they sank into were the largest and comfiest Emma had ever sat in.

“I didn’t know you were into musical theatre,” Emma said quietly after Regina had asked their usher to bring them two glasses of Pinot Noir.

“You also didn’t know that I played Glinda in my high school production of Wicked,” Regina said.

“The Good Witch of the South?” Emma asked. “I’d have thought you were more of a Elphaba character.”

Regina pretended to be offended and then laughed. “I have to admit I did want that role but it was given to someone else. Still a sore point, naturally. But I did love playing Glinda too. I just think evil is more fun.”

“Ah but she’s not evil, she’s wicked,” Emma pointed out.

Regina rolled her eyes at the pedantic blonde but just as she was about to speak, darkness shrouded the theatre and the music began.

* * *

The door banged off the hallway wall as the two women stumbled through it, their mouths fused together in a furious kiss which had started in the back of the car and barely broken between the cocktail bar Regina had taken them to after the show and the moment when Ruby’s cough brought them both back to earth.

“See, this is why I was snooping last time,” the brunette teased, leaning against the doorframe as she watched her two friends smooth down their ruffled hair and wipe the lipstick from their mouths. “Did you forget I was here?”

“More like I didn’t care,” Regina teased, depositing her coat and following her friend into the lounge. “How was Henry?”

“A little reluctant to have his bath but when I reminded him that both you and Emma had showers before you left he seemed to understand that washing wasn’t so bad.”

Emma and Regina both laughed as they took a seat on the couch side by side. In fact, Emma was practically in Regina’s lap. When noted by Ruby, the lanky brunette quickly realised she probably wanted to leave before the soft porn show started up again.

“How was Wicked?” she asked as she gathered her tablet and handbag together.

“Amazing,” Emma grinned. “But how come you know what we saw? Regina wouldn’t even tell me?”

“Dot got you guys the tickets,” Ruby shrugged. “She has connections in the theatre world. Her aunt from Kansas used to work on stage.”

“Well thank Dot for me then because they were incredible seats.”

“I will do,” Ruby assured. “See you guys on Friday.”

The two women thanked her for watching Henry and then waved goodbye from the front door. As soon as it snapped closed Emma turned to Regina and kissed her softly.

“So,” she said, her voice low and husky, “where were we?”

* * *

As far as Emma’s life went, the following week was one of the best. At least, everything seemed to be moving in the right direction … until Friday. On Monday she met Regina in her lunch break and the two of them went for an appointment at the local parole office. Since David had already got Emma’s paperwork in order, it didn’t take long for the blonde to sign up with Tina Bell, the officer with whom Emma would have to meet once a week for the next year. Tina seemed friendly enough and, most importantly, was not Killian Jones.

On Tuesday Tina called Emma with a list of job interviews with companies and organisations linked to the parolee programme. Emma had never been great at interviews. Low self esteem, she supposed. But when Regina returned on Tuesday evening with a brand new skirt-suit for her, Emma couldn’t help but feel a little optimistic. Of course, the optimism only set in after a mini-argument between herself and the brunette, during which she tried to stop Regina buying her things. The suit combined with the dress and handbag the previous weekend must have set the older woman back hundreds if not thousands of dollars. “But I have the money and I like buying things for you,” Regina had reasoned when Emma protested. “And no, I don’t see you as a charity case. I see you as my girlfriend and someone whom I want to spoil.” Emma’s counter-argument fell on deaf ears and when Regina’s lips began to pepper kisses all over her neck and collarbone, she eventually gave up.

Wednesday saw Emma interview for three companies. Two were clerical roles which Emma knew would bore her senseless and one was for a kitchen porter. Although she knew she could do the latter job well enough, she didn’t relish the work. She also didn’t think the interviews went well and spent the evening scouring the job adverts in newspapers and online just in case there was anything applicable. Despite Regina trying to persuade her to go for a junior journalist position at a local newspaper, Emma didn’t and she went to bed that night hoping her next two interviews went better.

Thursday was the day that Emma confirmed something she had always suspected: torrential rain and a closed subway station was not a good combination right before a job interview. She arrived in the reception dripping wet and steamed slowly throughout the questions. She was shivering by the time she left and almost decided to ditch her final appointment. But not wanting to get on Tina’s bad side too early on, she trudged through the now drizzling rain until she reached the youth club in Queens.

As soon as she pushed the door open, the loud chatter of children met her. The place was colourful, pictures and artwork adorning the walls and kids running around throughout the room. She caught the eye of a supervising adult who made her way over to the blonde.

“You’re Emma?” the woman asked, her dark brown skin crinkling around her kind eyes as she smiled at the nervous younger woman.

“Yes,” Emma nodded, holding out her hand.

“Ursula,” the woman introduced. “Welcome to the mad house. Mal is in the back waiting for you. Excuse the mess, the rain means playtime is inside today.”

Emma thanked Ursula and worked her way through the mass of children and teenagers until she reached the corridor the black woman had indicated. A door on her left, bearing the plaque _Malory Fire_ , stood ajar. Emma rapped her knuckles on it and entered when she heard someone call for her to do so.

Malory Fire smiled widely as Emma stepped into the room and the blonde immediately felt at home and welcome despite feeling equally overdressed. Although her new suit was still damp, it seemed unnecessarily posh compared to the older blonde’s outfit. A flowery blouse clashed brilliantly with a floaty skirt, great coloured bangles clanking on her wrist as she held her hand out to shake Emma’s. She waved at the seat on the far side of her cluttered desk and then propped her bare feet up on the edge of her chair, curling up like a cat and taking a sip of her coffee.

“So, Emma,” the woman said. “Before we start, please call me Mal. Malory was my mother and I am certainly not her.”

“Ok,” Emma nodded. “Well, thank you for meeting with me.”

“Of course,” Mal said. “It’s been a while since Tina has sent anyone she though appropriate for the role.”

“Um, what exactly is the role?” Emma asked. She knew it was important to be prepared for job interviews but the information Tina had given her had been minimal and the information she had managed to find on the internet about the Dragon Youth Centre had been less than helpful.

“Well, we’re a centre for troubled and vulnerable youths,” Mal said. “In this area of town kids go one way or the other. We try to keep them off the streets and away from the gangs by providing them a place to come after school. We run sports groups, workshops, game sessions. Anything really. And we try to play to our employees strengths so if there’s something you’re particularly interested in or talented at, there’s scope for our programmes to expand.”

Emma nodded her understanding but before she could stop it, the question she had been burning to ask since she got the information about the job, spilled from her lips.

“Why do you want ex-cons working with troubled kids?” Emma frowned. “Surely you want people who are going to be a good influence.”

“Are you saying you’d be a bad one?” Mal asked, eyebrow raised.

Emma spluttered through her answer, backtracking fast. “No, of course not! It’s just … well, it’s an unusual choice, right?”

Mal nodded her agreement. “We find that children who have already been in trouble or those who have family members who took the wrong path are often inspired by seeing those who have emerged on the other side after some bad decisions. We set an example, you see, a way of showing how lives can be turned around.”

“We?” Emma asked. The woman in front of her hardly looked like someone who had been in trouble with the law.

“Everyone here has a criminal record,” Mal said. “Myself included.”

“What?” Emma frowned. That had certainly not been in the notes Tina had given her.

“Yep,” Mal nodded. “I got caught for arson when I was fifteen. You’ve met Ursula who was inside for theft. And the rest of our staff have been in trouble too. No murderers or rapists, mind you,” she added as an afterthought.

“Wow,” Emma said, sitting back in her chair. “An interesting concept.”

“And one we’d like you to get involved with,” Mal smiled.

Emma frowned. “You … you’re offering me the job?”

“We only have a part-time position open at the moment,” Mal explained. “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday but there might be some more shifts opening up in the future if you’re interested. We work from two until seven most days unless we have a special occasion like a cinema trip.”

“What would my role be?” Emma asked.

“Making sure the kids are safe and happy,” Mal said. “For the first couple of months you’d be helping our current workers run sessions before we’d let you do your own. There’s homework club, reading hour, football lessons, arts and crafts, social studies, and everything in between.”

Emma sat there stunned. She had never, ever been offered a job on the spot before, certainly not after she left prison. Mal must have sensed her disbelief because she smiled reassuringly.

“I spoke with Tina about you,” she said. “And I read your resumé. You’re an impressive young woman, Emma, and I think you have a lot of potential. As does your reference who could not speak more highly of you.”

“My reference?” Emma frowned. She had been worried about the fact that she had no one to write down at her reference when she made her resumé and now was very concerned about who Mal could possibly be talking about.

“Regina Mills,” Mal said. “I got off the phone with her about an hour before you arrived.”

“Regina?” Emma asked, eyes wide. “How did you get her number?”

“Tina,” Mal shrugged. “She said Ms Mills had offered to act as your reference.”

Silently cursing herself for leaving her girlfriend alone with Tina when she went to the bathroom, Emma sighed. She knew she needed to tell Mal that Regina was far from impartial.

“Um, Mal, there’s something you should know,” she began but Mal held up a hand to stop her.

“She told me,” Mal assured the nervous woman. “And I don’t have a problem with it. As a matter of fact my daughter is gay. And yes, I know that Regina’s assessment of you is wholly bias but nevertheless, having a senior lawyer from Mills Associates give a glowing reference your behalf is far more than any of us here could hope to receive. I have complete faith that you will live up to her glowing recommendation.”

Emma blushed and ducked her head meekly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Mal smiled. “So, do you want to begin next week?”

* * *

Regina gasped and gripped the sheet beneath her palms. Her hips bucked forwards and she looked down her naked body to where a blonde head was bobbing between her legs. Letting her thighs fall open even further, she felt Emma’s tongue glide over her clit. The younger woman smirked into Regina’s sex as the body beneath her mouth and hands tensed and shuddered before focusing on her task. Or rather, her aim. To show Regina how grateful she was for everything the older woman had done for her.

She sucked the hardened bundle of nerves into her mouth as two fingers, slick with her own essence, slipped into Regina’s tight channel. She curled them against the ridged front wall, causing Regina to cry out before thrusting back in, relishing the feel of hot velvet surrounding her fingers. She suckled once more, her tongue flickering over Regina’s clit again as she pumped in and out. The brunette had already come twice and her body was wonderfully loose and pliant. Emma pushed her thighs wider, settling as close as she could and burying her face against Regina’s core. She would never get close enough, she realised. But as she pumped and pumped, licked and licked, drinking down Regina’s juices, Emma knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life trying.

Regina came with a soft cry, her hands fisted in Emma’s hair as she trembled through her release. When the fingers relaxed against her scalp, Emma pulled away, her face and chin smeared with Regina’s liquid. She crawled up the spent woman and lay beside her, trailing mindless patterns on the brunette’s stomach and chest as she waited for those big brown eyes to open once more.

“You’re incredible,” Regina said at last.

“So are you,” Emma countered. “You got me a job, remember? Me. Emma Swan. Convict. Beggar. Orphan. General loser.”

Regina rolled onto her side, frowning at the words her girlfriend used to describe herself.

“You got yourself that job, Emma,” Regina said. “I just told them the truth. And you, Emma Swan, are a beautiful, kind-hearted, intelligent, loving, and fiercely loyal woman whom I am honoured to have in my life.”

“I don’t believe you,” Emma said quietly. “But keep saying those things and maybe one day I will.”

“You’d better,” Regina said, kissing Emma and sighing at the taste of herself on her tongue. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Emma said, the words coming to her so easily and so naturally that it made her heart sing with joy.

* * *

Emma was sitting opposite Henry in the diner on Friday afternoon. They were, as always, waiting for Regina who was, as always, running late. The game of cards they had started an hour ago was beginning to bore Emma but since Henry was still entertained, she was willing to stick it out. Just as Henry triumphantly played an Ace, he glanced behind the blonde and his proud grin faltered. Emma turned too, wondering what Henry had seen to make him react in such a way.

The man standing there was barely recognisable. His beard was long and straggly, his hair falling unkempt into his eyes, one of which was swollen and surrounded by a large purple bruise. His clothes were filthy, the stench reaching Emma from several metres away. A small bag was slung on his back but the blonde could tell it didn’t have much inside it. There were no shoes on his feet and his socks were peppered in holes. She stood up and made her way slowly towards him.

“August?”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: don’t worry, I’ll get back to the Killian storyline. I just missed August and wanted to add in some more about his friendship with Emma.

“Hi,” the man said, his voice raspy.

Emma got to her feet slowly, moving towards August in disbelief. The whole of the diner had fallen silent, every set of eyes transfixed on the tramp. As Emma moved closer, the smell of alcohol reached her nostrils and she took in the bloodshot eyes and slightly glazed expression. The man was clearly drunk.

“Outside,” Emma muttered, glancing over at Ruby who nodded her understanding that she’d keep an eye on Henry.

The blonde led the way out of the diner, August shuffling behind her and into the street. It was one of the first warm days of the year, March having brought with it the promise of spring, and Emma leaned against the wall beside the diner, waiting for August to speak.

“How are you?” he asked at last, his voice trembling slightly.

“Better than you,” Emma remarked. “What the fuck happened?”

“Lost my job,” August shrugged. “It took me ages to hitch back to the city and then when I got to our tunnel, you weren’t there.”

“No,” Emma replied shortly. She didn’t want to tell August about Regina and she certainly didn’t want him knowing about Henry. It wasn’t that Emma didn’t trust the man, it was more that bad luck seemed to follow him even more than it clung to herself.

“You look good,” he said, his eyes taking in her new coat and the clean appearance. “Great, actually.”

“Well my life has turned a corner,” Emma said. “And I don’t want it going back to how it was.”

There was a bite in her tone as she spoke and, even inebriated, August winced. He knew she was implying that his return might cause such a reversal of her fortunes. He also knew she was probably right.

“I’m sorry I left,” August said. “I’m really sorry I left you alone, Emma. But I needed the job.”

“Not enough to stop drinking though,” Emma remarked. “I assume that is why you got fired?”

August nodded and looked away from the piercing eyes of his friend. Alcohol had always been his crutch, the only thing which kept the PTSD at bay. It didn’t eclipse it completely, of course. The trauma was always there, bubbling just beneath the surface, threatening to explode and consume his life once more. Which it had in Chicago, mere weeks after he arrived.

“Why are you here, August?” Emma asked when the man didn’t say anything further. “I can’t help you. I can’t have you drag me back to where I was when you left. My life is finally looking up and I can’t risk losing that.”

August understood what the blonde was saying but it still hurt. He might have abandoned Emma but somehow he had still believed she would help him when he returned. After all, the blonde was an infinitely better person than he was. As he rationalised this, he realised that she probably didn’t deserve his shit-show of a life being mixed up with hers again.

“Ok,” he sighed. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”

He turned and began to walk slowly down the street, stumbling a little over his sock-clad feet. Emma’s heart broke at the sight and she dug in her pocket for some money.

“August, wait,” she called, hurrying after him and pressing a twenty dollar bill into his hand. “Go and sober up in a shelter somewhere. Get some shoes. _Don’t_ buy any alcohol. Just, be safe, ok?”

August nodded and managed a weak smile in thanks. Emma watched him until he walked out of sight and then returned to the diner. Henry was kneeling up in the booth and had obviously watched the entire exchange curiously.

“Who was that?” he asked before Emma had even sat down.

“An old friend,” Emma sighed.

“From when you didn’t have a house?” he asked. Emma nodded. “But you have one now,” he clarified. Emma nodded once more. “But your friend doesn’t have a house?”

“No, kid, he doesn’t,” Emma sighed, running a hand over her face. Despite the encounter with August being short, she felt drained.

“Why not?”

Emma hesitated before answering. She realised she had never herself had a conversation with Henry about her time on the streets and didn’t know what the boy’s mother had told him either.

“He doesn’t have a job any more,” she settled on. “Just like me when you first met me.”

“I gave you some money,” Henry said, his memory crystal clear of that day. Even at four years old, he recognised the significance of that encounter, although he had no way of knowing just what an impact Emma would have on his life at the time.

“You did,” Emma nodded. “That was very kind of you.”

“What did you do with it?” Henry asked.

“The money? I came here, actually,” Emma said, remembering the cup of coffee Ruby had made for her that cold January evening. It seemed like a lifetime ago, she realised.

“Is that how you got your job here?” Henry asked.

“In a way,” Emma nodded.

“Why don’t you work here any more?”

Yet another awkward question. Emma was sure that Henry knew nothing of her time inside and she certainly didn’t want to be the one to tell him her prison records were why Granny fired her. Luckily, Regina arrived at that moment and distracted her son.

“Hello my little prince,” Regina said, scooping Henry into her arms and kissing his cheeks. “How was your day?”

“Good,” Henry smiled. “Emma’s friend came to say hello.”

Regina turned to the blonde and raised her eyebrows. Emma mouthed ‘I’ll tell you later’ and waved Ruby over so they could pay their bill.

“How was work?” Emma asked as Regina sat down.

“You know I’m going to be able to ask you that question next Monday,” Regina said, practically glowing with pride. Emma didn’t think anyone had ever been proud of her in her life but that was certainly how Regina had acted when Emma told her about her new job. It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, although she hated herself for using those terms. Emma Swan had never considered herself fuzzy before.

“And I hope I can answer positively,” Emma said. She was already nervous about her new job and the responsibilities which would inevitably come with it. Seeing August again had awoken some old doubts too; would she ever be more than just a street-rat? August didn’t seem to be able to drag himself up so why would she?

* * *

Regina, naturally, noticed Emma’s pensive mood for the remainder of the day and as soon as Henry was in bed that evening, she asked the blonde what was wrong.

“You know that friend Henry mentioned? It was August.”

Regina let out a low exhale. She had spent the past few weeks searching for the man but had come up empty at every turn. And now he had just waltzed back into Emma’s life out of thin air. Judging by the look on the blonde’s face, his return had not been welcome.

“What happened?” Regina asked, resuming the washing up she was doing. Emma was perched on the kitchen counter beside her, swigging from a beer bottle.

“He was a mess,” Emma shrugged. “Drunk, filthy, suffering from PTSD again.”

“What did you do?”

“Gave him twenty bucks and sent him to a shelter,” Emma replied. “What more could I do?”

Regina had to admit she didn’t know much about living on the streets, aside what Emma had told her, and even less about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but she knew it couldn’t be ignored.

“Is there any way we can help him?” Regina asked.

“We?” Emma frowned. “Regina, you brought me in off the streets, you don’t owe August anything. He’s gone through patches like this before. He’ll pull through after a few weeks.”

“And what if he doesn’t?” Regina asked.

Emma swallowed. She didn’t want to think about that. She knew herself and she knew she would feel immensely guilty if anything happened to August she could have theoretically prevented. But she also knew the risks of offering to help him. After all, he had already abandoned her twice during their short friendship. She couldn’t trust him not to do it again.

“I can’t,” Emma said, her throat tight. “I can’t let myself be pulled back down by him.”

Regina dried her sudsy hands on a towel and moved to stand between Emma’s parted legs. She wrapped her arms around Emma’s waist and kissed her lips softly, tasting the sweet tang of the beer as she did so.

“Do you really think I’d let that happen to you, dear?” Regina asked. “You’ve worked so hard to put your past behind you. I’m not going to let anything jeopardise that if I can prevent it. But I also know that you are a loyal and kind friend. Not helping August is going to gnaw away at your sub-conscience until you can’t take it any more. I don’t want to see that happen to you.”

Emma looked down into her girlfriend’s earnest face. It continued to amaze her how close she and Regina had become and how well the brunette knew her. It had been scary when she first realised it but now she found comfort in the way in which the woman could read and understand her so well.

“What can we do then?” Emma asked. “If you really want to help me help him, I mean.”

“Rehab,” Regina said simply. “It’s the only way. And they’ll be well-equipped to deal with his PTSD too. He needs help for more than just the alcoholism from what you’ve said.”

Emma nodded but there was a frown on her forehead. “What if he refuses to go?” she asked. “I know a little about getting clean and it will only happen when the person really wants to do it for themselves, not because someone’s forcing them to.”

“Then we offer,” Regina said. “We give him a chance and it’s up to him to take it.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“If he doesn’t, then at least you’ll know you did what you could. Even you wouldn’t be able to blame yourself for what happens next.”

“Even me?” Emma frowned. “What does that mean?”

Regina hoped she wasn’t about to offend the blonde but continued anyway. “It just means you seem to take on more than your fair share of the blame when things go wrong. You blame yourself for your bad childhood, you think it’s your fault you ended up in prison, and you also think it was your fault Lily left you.”

“Are you saying I’m not the common denominator in all those incidents?”

“We’re all the common denominator throughout our lives,” Regina reasoned. “And despite your presence, you weren’t to blame for what happened. For starters, your parents, whomever they were, had a huge hand in how you were raised. And were it not for Neal’s betrayal, I’m sure you wouldn’t have ended up in prison. As for Lily, well, she was the one who fell in love with someone else when she still had you. Surely that says more about her fickle heart than about your ability to love.”

“You don’t know that,” Emma replied.

“The middle one, perhaps not. I can’t predict what you might have gotten mixed up in even without Neal but the first and last I can say with absolute certainty. It was your parents’ fault you ended up in the system, not yours. You must know that, right?” Emma did at least nod but she looked unconvinced. “And finally, I’ve felt your love Emma and I can’t ever imagine needing or wanting anything else.”

Emma swallowed thickly, staring back into Regina’s beautiful, honest face.

“Perhaps…,” she coughed, clearing her throat. “Perhaps that’s because Lily never truly felt my love. At least, not the way you do.”

Regina said nothing more. She leaned into Emma who kissed her back softly, her legs wrapping around the brunette’s narrow waist and tugging her closer with her calf muscles. She came willingly, pressing herself up against the woman who had captured her heart in just a few weeks. Her hand moved upwards, slid beneath Emma’s shirt and lay just above Emma’s breast, feeling the organ thudding beneath the pale skin. It reassured her to feel it beating so powerfully because Regina already knew her world would shatter if that were ever not the case.

“I’m right here,” Emma soothed, knowing Regina was thinking of Dani and not resenting her one bit for it. The loss of Regina’s wife would always be a part of their relationship and Emma had known that from the start. The pain and suffering made Regina the woman she was that day, the woman who loved Emma fiercely and with all of her being. The woman who loved so deeply because she knew every moment was precious and didn’t want to waste a second of whatever time she had left. “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

* * *

Emma loved Saturday mornings. It had become somewhat of a tradition already for Henry to join the two women in the master bedroom where he would sit with his toys and play as they drank their first cup of coffee and read the newspaper. Although the thought of being so domestic would have sickened Emma mere months before, she couldn’t stop the sleepy smile spreading across her face when a small boy crawled up her body and began to bounce on her ribcage the following morning.

“Alright, kid. I’m awake,” Emma coughed, sitting up and dislodging Henry who slid off, giggling, into Regina who was rousing groggily from sleep beside her.

The couple had, after the first morning Henry had walked in on them, learnt to put clothes on before they fell asleep. Although Emma sometimes wished she could sleep curled up naked next to an equally nude Regina, she was happy to trade that sensual pleasure for the experience of having Henry wriggle down beneath their duvet between the two women.

“How did you sleep, my darling?” Regina asked, placing a kiss to Henry’s tousled hair.

“Good,” Henry smiled. “Can we go to the park today?”

“To the zoo?” Regina asked.

“Maybe,” Henry shrugged, his little shoulders jiggling up and down as he tried to copy the adult movement he had observed. “Or to play soccer.”

“Soccer?” Regina asked, surprised. That was the first time her son had ever expressed much of an interest in sports. She supposed it was partially because he didn’t have a father-figure to play with, gender stereotyping as she was in that assumption.

“I’ll play soccer with you, Henry,” Emma said, holding out her hand for a high five which Henry eagerly gave her. “I loved kicking a ball around when I was a kid.”

Regina chuckled to herself as her stereotype was wonderfully disproved by the woman now looking curiously at her.

“What?” Emma asked, unsure why Regina was laughing.

“Nothing,” Regina assured her. “Coffee?”

“Please,” Emma nodded, before turning her attention to Henry who seemed to be rummaging for something under the duvet. “What’s up, you little wriggler?”

Henry furrowed his brow, his tongue sticking between his teeth as he searched for whatever he was looking for. Eventually, his hand re-emerged above the covers with Marlo clutched in his fist.

“Where was he hiding?” Emma asked.

“My pants,” came the simple reply. Before Emma could even laugh, Henry had continued. “Will you tell me another story about Marlo in the jungle, please?”

“Alright,” Emma nodded as Henry set Marlo between the two of them to listen. “Once upon a time, Marlo the monkey woke up in the middle of the night. He looked around him and saw all of his family were still asleep. His mom and his dad, his brother Marty and his sisters Milly and Miranda. Even his grandmother Myrtle was sleeping. But Marlo wasn’t tired any more. So he got up from his branch very quietly and began to climb higher into the tree. Soon he reached the branches at the tippety top of the great tree which he lived in and there, in the soft green leaves, he lay down to look at the stars. There are lots of different shapes in the stars, as I’m sure you know, but monkeys have even more than people do. There’s the great banana and the little banana. There’s the famous monkey chief Bobo and his army of loyal followers, scattered through the night by hundreds of shining stars. But that night, Marlo was looking for a special group of stars he liked to call Beckham.”

“Who?” Henry frowned.

“David Beckham is a very famous British soccer player and he was Marlo’s favourite. You see, Marlo lived in a jungle near a village and one of the huts in the village had a television. Sometimes, Marlo and his friends would sneak down to watch soccer matches through the window. They loved David Beckham and played for hours in the jungle afterwards. But they didn’t have a soccer ball so they had to use banana leaves scrunched up into a ball. The stars in the sky made the shape of a soccer ball though so Marlo lay back and stared up at the stars and wished for his very own ball. Suddenly, there was a rustling below him.”

Henry’s eyes went wide with excitement just as Regina reentered the room. Emma paused to accept her coffee before continuing. Regina climbed into bed beside Henry and snuggled up to him and Emma, sipping the steaming beverage and thinking, as she listened to Emma’s story, how perfect her life seemed.

* * *

The sun warmed Regina’s skin as she sat on the bench, watching Emma and Henry who were playing soccer a few feet away. They had set up a makeshift goal using Emma’s bundled up coat and Henry’s rucksack as posts and were taking turns trying to score. It was early afternoon and Regina was just beginning to wonder where they would have lunch when Henry came over to ask her exactly that question.

“How about the restaurant at the MET?” Regina suggested.

“Why not just go home?” Emma frowned, sitting beside the brunette and taking a long drink of water. “I mean, the food there is so over-priced and you can literally see your apartment.”

“True but it’s supposed to be a day out,” Regina reasoned. “Plus we can take a look around their feature exhibit afterwards.”

“Ok,” Emma shrugged.

Regina frowned a little at the nonchalant way in which the blonde spoke. Just as she was wondering what Emma could possibly have against one of the greatest art galleries in the world, she suddenly remembered what the two of them had discussed the night before.

“Or we could go to the little cafe near the lake?” she said, knowing that would take their day far closer to the tunnel where Emma hoped to find August.

“Can we feed the ducks?” Henry asked. He loved to stand on the edge of the water, watching the birds gobble up soggy lumps of bread as he threw it to them.

“Do you have anything to feed them?” Regina countered.

Henry frowned at this. “No, but maybe they can eat the crusts of my sandwiches I have for lunch?”

Both Emma and Regina laughed. The boy would do anything to avoid eating his crusts. They gathered up their things and began to stroll through the park. It was busy, being one of the first sunny and warm weekends of the year and Emma and Regina walked hand in hand, Henry trotting a little way ahead, his new soccer ball under his arm. Emma couldn’t remember ever feeling so content, even with the looming knowledge that she needed to find August.

At lunch Henry carefully nibbled his sandwiches, leaving as much bread as possible, and when Regina added the roll which came with her soup, the boy declared they definitely had enough to feed the ducks. Emma was too hungry to contribute, and she didn’t think the ducks would appreciate the spicy relish on her hamburger anyway. When Regina had paid, they left the cafe and began to walk towards the lake’s edge.

“I’m just gonna go and -,”

“Ok,” Regina said, cutting Emma off before she had finished her sentence. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“No,” Emma said. She had thought about it and she didn’t want August meeting Regina in his state. Despite Regina offering to help her friend, she didn’t think the man would make a great first impression in their tunnel and she certainly didn’t want Henry to see him there. Doubtless the small boy remembered the day he had seen Emma herself sleeping there too. “I won’t be long.”

She kissed Regina on the cheek and hurried away, weaving through the crowds and making her way quickly towards the tunnel she had once called home. She wasn’t even sure if August would be there. After all, she had told him to go to a shelter. However, she doubted whether her friend would have heeded that advice, and suspected that he had done exactly what she told him not to and bought more alcohol. She had questioned herself the moment she handed over the money, knowing it probably wouldn’t do him any good.

The tunnel seemed darker than she remembered it, even with the bright sunshine at its entrances. She stepped into the damp archway and moved along the wall. It was quiet, as always. That was one of the reasons they chose it; few pedestrians ever disturbed them. Emma was less than ten feet away when she spotted the huddled figure on the floor. She could tell immediately that something was wrong. Rushing to August’s side, she turned him over and cried out as she saw the state he was in. Unconscious, with vomit smeared across his cheek, the man’s breathing was slow and ragged, his body chilled and limp.

“August?” she called, shaking him a little.

There was no answer. No sign that the man had heard her at all. She shook him harder but his head just lolled on his neck. Digging in her pocket for her cell, she dialled 911. As soon as she had given the emergency services the details of their location, she hung up and called her girlfriend.

“Regina.”

“What’s wrong?” came the reply, hearing the panic of the blonde in just three syllables.

“It’s August,” Emma said. “I’m taking him to hospital. He’s unconscious and I can’t get him to wake up.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don’t want to have too much going on at once in this fic but I did want to deal with the August stuff quickly and I also wanted to add some depth to Emma’s new job. Hope you like this!

Emma sat curled up in the chair, watching the almost muted television and waiting. She had been waiting for most of the day, in fact, and Regina’s deadline for when she had to leave the hospital and return to the penthouse was approaching. After all, Emma started her new job the following afternoon and she couldn’t very well stay another night in the uncomfortable armchair. Just as she was considering writing a note to her friend, August finally stirred.

“Where am I?” he asked, opening his eyes slowly and looking around the unfamiliar hospital room.

“General Hospital,” Emma said, turning her attention to her friend at once. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful,” August croaked. “What happened?”

Emma hadn’t expected her friend to remember the ordeal they had had when he was admitted. The emergency room had come to a standstill to watch as the man thrashed and yelled, shouting expletives and trying to get out of the restraints. But she still hoped the truth about how ill he had been would sink in.

“You had your stomach pumped,” she said. “Severe alcohol poisoning. You … you nearly died.”

August’s reddened eyes widened and then narrowed as the bright light made his head hurt.

“You found me?” he asked. It was, after all, the only explanation as to firstly why he was in hospital and not dead, and secondly why Emma was there beside him.

“I did,” Emma nodded. “I was coming to ask you to go to rehab, actually. But I suppose after this you’ve got no choice.”

“After what?” August frowned.

Emma looked incredulous. Her friend surely didn’t need it spelt out for him. From the look on his face however, he did.

“You nearly died, August,” she said. “You drank so much your body physically began to shut down. You are literally poisoning yourself and if you carry on this way you will end up six feet under within a year. You need to get sorted out. You have to go to rehab and get clean.”

“How?” August scoffed. “How the hell am I supposed to pay for rehab?”

“Does that mean you want to go?” Emma asked.

She had been expecting more of a fight but after a moment’s pause, August simply sunk back into the pillows and closed his eyes, nodding his head.

“I’ve known for a long time I have a problem, Emma,” he said. “I wanted to change my ways, I really did. But with the PTSD, alcohol was the only thing I could find which numbed the pain and the thoughts. I needed it. But I do want to get help. For the drinking and the PTSD. I just don’t have the money.”

“It’s sorted,” Emma said softly.

Regina, despite Emma’s protests, had insisted she wanted to cover the cost of both August’s medical bills and his rehabilitation treatment the night before when the two of them had met at the hospital. Emma, naturally, had claimed that she couldn’t possibly do that but Regina’s lawyer skills came into play and she put forward a very convincing argument. Eventually, Emma had relented and thanked her girlfriend for her generosity, promising to repay her as soon as she could. Which, realistically, was in the very, very distant future but neither of them felt the need to mention that. It was the thought that counted, after all.

“What do you mean, ‘it’s sorted’?” he frowned.

“It’s taken care of,” Emma repeated. “But there’s one condition.”

“Name it,” August said, his body sagging with relief as the realisation that he might finally get the help he needed washed over him.

“I want you to promise me you’re going to work each and every step of this programme and once you’re clean, you’re going to stay that way. This is a one time offer, understand?”

August nodded. “Yes, thank you, Emma.”

“You’re welcome,” Emma said. “And now I’ve got to leave. I’ve got work tomorrow.”

“The diner?” August asked.

Emma shook her head, realising the man probably thought she still worked there after he came looking for her and found her exactly where he had expected to. “No, different job. New, actually. Tomorrow’s my first day.”

“Good luck,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” Emma said. “The people from the rehab facility will be here in the morning at nine sharp. I’ll be up to visit you in a few weeks.”

She leaned down and placed a kiss to his forehead before walking out of the room. She felt lighter somehow as she headed down the corridor and towards the car park where she knew Graham would be waiting for her. That was an example of yet another argument Regina had won. But she had to admit it was rather nice to sink into the plush leather and be whisked back to the penthouse after the day she had had.

* * *

Henry was in bed by the time she got home and Regina was pouring over a case-file, chewing on the end of her pen. She looked up at once, however, when Emma entered the room.

“Well?” Regina asked.

“He’s going,” Emma said with a small smile as she collapsed onto the couch beside Regina and pulled the brunette into her arms. “He’s going, Regina. He’s going to get clean.”

Regina nuzzled into Emma’s neck and kissed the soft skin there, immensely relieved that both Emma and August had accepted her assistance. Although, of course, August didn’t know who she was. She hoped she would meet him one day, however. There were very few people in Emma’s life and Regina wasn’t too keen on meeting Neal or Lily. She knew the introduction would have to wait until August was sober though.

“Well, you’ve certainly had an exciting weekend,” Regina said, looking up into Emma’s tired face. “Ready for your first shift at the youth centre?”

Emma didn’t speak. She had been avoiding thinking about her new job all day. She knew she should be pleased, thrilled even, to have been offered a job with a real purpose and doing things which were actually interesting and fun. But the weight of responsibility settled heavily upon her. She knew she could look after kids. Growing up in foster care meant she had more younger brother and sisters than she could count. But being a good role model? How exactly was she supposed to do that? It’s not like she ever had one, nor was she one. What if, instead of turning these kids onto the right path, she steered them off the deep end?

“You’re going to be amazing,” Regina soothed, reading Emma’s self-doubt all over her face.

“How do you know?” Emma asked, turning to her girlfriend with worried eyes.

“Because I’ve seen how you are with Henry and you’re amazing. And because you’re inspiring, Emma. You’ve been through so much and yet you still fight so hard to get more out of life. You want to have a better life and you are determined to get one. Which is how I know you’ll succeed and also what I know you’ll teach these youngsters. They’re lucky to have you, Emma, honestly.”

“Maybe,” Emma shrugged. “I just want to get tomorrow over and done with to be honest. I hate first days.”

“Me too,” Regina agreed. “But I’m confident yours will go smoothly.”

* * *

And it did. Right from the start. Emma was on time and the other members of staff greeted her warmly. As well as Mal and Ursula, she also met a young man named Will who had been inside for robbery, Belle, who was arrested for graffiti one too many times and did a stint up-state, and Archie, who had committed fraud whilst practicing as a psychiatrist. The latter lent his therapy knowledge to the children now, after being struck off the register. Will was in charge of most of the sports activities and Belle ran the reading and homework clubs. All of them welcomed Emma and made her feel instantly at home.

The only difficulty Emma encountered was when the children started to arrive. She felt immensely awkward around them, despite being used to youths. A few of them said hello but most ignored her presence entirely, heading instead to Belle’s book corner or out to the back yard to play basketball with Will. Emma tried to make herself useful and sat down to read with some of the children but they seemed reluctant to read out loud to a stranger. Despondent, Emma wandered outside and leaned against the wall, watching the basketball game. She considered joining in but the teams were already decided and she lacked the confidence to just jump onto the court anyway.

As she watched, she became aware of a presence behind her. Turning, she saw a boy of about eleven standing nearby. His long blonde hair hung over his eyes and his face was thin and bony.

“Hello,” Emma said, smiling at him. “I’m Emma. What’s your name?”

There was a pause before the boy answered. “Felix.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Felix,” Emma said. “Do you want to join in the basketball match?”

Felix shook his head. Emma glanced around but there were no other children outside who weren’t playing and the young boy didn’t seem to be with anyone.

“Ok, do you want to read?” Emma asked, sensing that the child was at a loss for what to do.

Again, Felix declined.

“What do you usually do here?” she said, leaving the question more open so he would have a chance to answer.

He shrugged. Emma glanced around to see if there was anything she could do with the child. She got the feeling he didn’t have many friends in the youth group nor got much attention at home. His whole demeanour screamed foster kid to her. Or perhaps she was just sceptical.

“How about we go inside and check out the board games?” Emma suggested.

Felix shrugged indecisively but followed Emma back into the building. Belle watched with interest as Emma and Felix sat down together at a little table and the former began to point out a range of board games they could play. They settled on a pack of cards, not least because it was Emma’s preferred form of gaming and the boy had shown no interest in any of the other options. Few words were spoken between then, just a brief explanation of each game’s rules. Emma watched Felix curiously. He kept his eyes averted from hers, darting anxiously around the room and often looking over his shoulder. It seemed as if he wasn’t focusing much on the games but he did manage to beat Emma on several occasions.

After an hour, Ursula announced that there were some snacks in the small kitchen area and Felix wandered off to get some food. As Emma was tidying up, Belle came over to her.

“Hey, how was Felix today?” she asked.

“Well I don’t have anything to compare to but quiet and lacking in confidence,” Emma said. “Why? Is there anything I should know about him?”

She had been briefed on all the regular children who had allergies, illnesses, physical disabilities, or mental health issues when she arrived but she knew Felix’s name hadn’t come up.

“His older brother was arrested last week and is in prison awaiting trial,” Belle replied. “They were pretty close and we were wondering how he took it but he hasn’t said a word to any of us.”

“He didn’t mention it to me,” Emma said. “What did his brother do?”

“Got involved with a gang,” Belle replied. “Actually, he started a gang. We were all worried Felix was going to go the same way so I guess it’s a relief Peter is inside for a while. He’s been in trouble so often before but he turned eighteen last week and is being tried as an adult for an armed robbery. He won’t see the light of day again for years.”

Emma glanced towards the kitchen where she could see Felix nibbling on a biscuit and not talking to any of the other children.

“Poor kid,” Emma said. “Is there anyone else in the family?”

“An older sister but she’s steered clear of Peter and his problems. Wendy, I think. She hasn’t come here for years now though. Peter used to come and collect Felix every night after the youth centre closed but now his foster father does it. Weird man, incidentally.”

With Emma’s suspicions about Felix being a foster kid confirmed, she felt her curiosity piqued to find out more about his family. As she was about to ask a question however, she noted the boy moving tentatively back towards her.

“Hey, Felix. Do you want to play some more?”

He nodded and resumed his seat. Belle regarded the pair with interest for a moment before heading over to where Ursula was standing and beginning to organise a group activity for the children who had previously been playing basketball.

* * *

“How was work?”

Emma wasn’t even out of her coat when Regina appeared in the hallway, eager to ask her girlfriend the question she had been wondering all evening. Emma rolled her eyes at the woman’s impatience and then smiled.

“Good, I think,” Emma said. “The kids all seemed great and one in particular interacted with me positively. Well, apparently it was positive for him. He’s usually very quiet.”

“But he spoke to you?” Regina asked, beckoning for Emma to follow her into the kitchen where she removed a plate of warmed food from the oven and placed it in front of the blonde.

“Thanks. And not really,” Emma said. “But we played games and sat together for most of the time. He even let me help him with some homework which Ursula says is uncommon.”

“See, I told you this job would be great and you’d be fantastic at it,” Regina said, beaming at the blonde.

Emma smiled back. She supposed it had gone better than she had expected. At least, Mal hadn’t fired her and she hadn’t gotten a call from Tina Bell saying as much either.

“How was Henry this evening?” Emma asked as she tucked into her food.

“He asked about you constantly,” Regina replied. “He kept going on and on about how books were boring now he had Emma stories and refused to have a bath until I told him an original Marlo adventure. Which I did but he said it wasn’t as good as yours.”

“Sorry,” Emma chuckled. “Although, you do realise he has you wrapped around his little finger, right?”

Regina nodded. She did know that. Henry was spoilt rotten and she was entirely aware of that fact. But she had never managed to deny him anything. It felt wrong somehow. She couldn’t say no to the boy whose birth mother abandoned him and then who lost one of his adoptive mothers so early on. Life had been unfair to her son and since Regina was in a position, financially at least, to give him everything, she did. But she was aware that if she wasn’t careful he might turn into a bit of a brat. Clearly this was something Emma also hoped they would avoid. Regina’s heart skipped a beat when she realised she had thought about the two of them as a parental unit for a moment.

She snapped herself back to the present but Emma hadn’t noticed Regina’s little daydream as she was steadily eating her way through the large plate of food. They chatted as she ate and then moved through to the living room to watch some television.

“Oh, I got a call from the rehab clinic,” Regina said after a while. “August arrived safely and we, I mean, you, can go and see him next weekend.”

“Thanks,” Emma said. “I was wondering whether he would actually make it there or if he’d disappear on us again.”

Regina shook her head. “He made it,” she said. “It seems that he knows he has to face his demons rather than run away from them.”

Emma narrowed her eyes slightly. “Subtle.”

“What?”

“I know what you’re doing,” Emma said. “You still want me to go to the police about Killian, don’t you?” Regina hesitated and then nodded. “It’s not going to happen, Regina. I’m not running away from a demon either. I’m choosing not to take on an impossible battle and instead I’m moving on with my life, ok?”

“But what if August could give evidence?” Regina suggested.

“Well since he’s now a recovering alcoholic, I guess what little credibility he had as a fellow tramp is now shot to pieces. And as I told you, he wasn’t there … that night.”

Regina opened her mouth to speak but a glare from Emma made her snap it shut again. Clearly the blonde did not want to have this conversation and Regina didn’t want to push her. But that didn’t mean the thoughts didn’t plague her night after night. She wanted justice for the blonde. She wanted Killian Jones to pay. When she had seen David that afternoon, the man had asked about Emma once again. He had even mentioned Killian, saying that Cap was wondering how her search for a new parole officer was going. Regina was sure Killian had recognised Emma that day in his office. After all, as she found out, those green eyes were startlingly difficult to forget. Yes, Regina was certain Killian knew exactly who Emma was and also that she knew, in the biblical sense, Regina. The question was, how would she be able to gather evidence against him?

As Emma sat beside her on the couch, gaze fixed on the television, Regina’s mind worked desperately to come up with a plan.

* * *

The rest of Emma’s work week flew by and she returned to the penthouse on Wednesday evening drained but happy. That afternoon, Felix had offered her some potato chips and they had sat together, in silence, watching some of the other children playing ping pong on an old table someone had donated to the youth centre. As Emma toed off her shoes in the hallway and hung up her coat, she became aware of an unfamiliar voice from the kitchen.

“It’s only once a year, Regina, and I expect you to attend this time.”

Emma frowned at the harsh, snobby tone and made her way into the apartment until she rounded the corner and froze. Even thought she had never met her, she knew exactly who was standing with her back to Emma in the kitchen. Regina’s eyes softened at the sight of the blonde and, noticing this, Cora Mills turned around. Her own brown eyes, by contrast, were cold.

“Is this her?” she asked, beckoning Emma further into the room. “This is the woman you met on the streets?”

Regina ignored her mother and stepped over to kiss Emma hello. The blonde was too unsure of what was happening to kiss her back but she relaxed somewhat as Regina’s arm slipped around her waist.

“Mother, this is my girlfriend, Emma Swan. Emma, meet my mother, Cora Mills.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Emma said, extending a hand for Cora to shake.

The older woman took it, her grip vice-like, and then wiped her palm on her Chanel suit as if she thought Emma’s hand might have left some dirt there.

“Likewise,” Cora said. “I’ve heard very little about you and I’ve been eager to find out who’s been causing my daughter’s work to slack.”

Emma turned, wide-eyed, to Regina who shook her head.

“Mother don’t exaggerate,” Regina said, pointing Emma to the oven where her food was and resuming her seat on the bar stool. “Emma has nothing to do with the fact that Gold and Locksley don’t want to merger with us. It’s more Robin’s penis that’s the problem.”

There was a clatter as the plate Emma was holding slipped from her hand. She swore quietly and muttered her apologies as she quickly began to clean her spoiled dinner from the floor.

“It’s fine,” she assured Regina who began to make her way to the fridge to prepare some food. “I wasn’t that hungry anyway. I’ll just have some fruit.”

Cora watched the exchange with distain and then turned her attention back to her daughter. “Anyway, Regina, I expect you to attend this party regardless of your personal situation. In fact, this year you can have Miss Swan watch Henry so your excuse from the last few years are invalid.”

“If I’m going at all, Mother, it will be with Emma by my side,” Regina snapped back.

Emma, who had no idea what they were talking about, stayed silent as she began to mop the floor to stop the tomato sauce from staining the pale marble.

“You … you want to bring her? To the ball?”

“Yes,” Regina said. “Why? Do you have a problem with that?”

She didn’t need to ask the question or hear the answer. Regina knew her mother certainly did have a problem with her bringing Emma to such a prestigious legal gathering. The annual charity ball, held by several law offices, was not a place people like Emma Swan would usually be found. But it wasn’t exactly Regina’s scene either so if she had to endure it, the only way she would was with her lover proudly on her arm.

Cora looked between her daughter and the blonde who was now kneeling on the floor, scrubbing furiously. Her daughter was stubborn, that Cora knew. And if she wanted her presence at the ball, perhaps this was a sacrifice she was going to have to make.

“Take her shopping first,” she said at last. “And for heaven’s sake don't tell anyone she used to be a beggar.”

Emma’s movement froze. Regina winced at the sound of the word coming from her mother’s mouth but nodded her agreement, lips pressed into a thin line.

“Right, well I’ll see you on Monday I suppose. Kathryn said she has almost finished the preparation for the Flynn/Redford merger so she’ll be presenting that. And I expect an update from you on the Smith and Cunningham case.”

Regina nodded but didn’t say anything, not trusting the anger inside her to spill over. Instead, she followed her mother, who didn’t even say goodbye to Emma, to the door and helped her with her coat. Once the heavy wood had swung shut behind her, she let out a shuddering breath, her hands balled into fists.

“So,” Emma said when Regina walked back into the kitchen moments later, “that was your mother.’

“Yup,” Regina nodded. “That was Cora Mills.”

Emma quirked her mouth to one side as if she was thinking and then picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and took a bite. She chewed for a while and then asked:

“What ball are you dragging me to?”

“You don’t have to come,” Regina said at once. “Honestly, I’ve not attended one since before Henry was born. I’m sorry, I just … wanted to piss her off.”

“Using me?” Emma asked, a little hurt.

“No, no,” Regina assured, rushing to Emma and kissing her quickly. “No, I would love to go with you. I’d be honoured, even. But the fact that I’ll be bringing a woman will have annoyed her. She seemed to think that after Dani, whom she never accepted either, I’d forget I was gay and start dating men. She’s still waiting for that to happen I think.”

“So you’re taking me because I’m a woman?” Emma frowned.

“No,” Regina said. “I’m taking you because I love you and I want to go with you. That is, if you want to go because I’d be more than happy to make up an excuse.”

“What even is this thing?” Emma said.

“A charity ball,” Regina explained. “An annual event where all the lawyers in New York meet and pretend they're doing something good by giving away a tiny percentage of their earnings all the while trying to form beneficial relationships between firms. Dull and stuffy and insanely pretentious. But as my mother’s daughter, I’m supposed to go. After four years of avoidance, I think this one will be hard to wriggle out of.”

“Then let’s not wriggle,” Emma suggested. “Well, unless it’s on the dance floor and your mother’s watching.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: reviews have tapered off somewhat but I suspect they’ll be back after the ending you’re about to read …

It surprised Emma how quickly she fell into her new routine. The start of her week saw her taking Henry to playgroup before enjoying a leisurely morning and then making her way up to Queens after lunch for work. In the evenings, she ate a late dinner either with or without Regina, depending on how hungry the brunette got as she waited. On Thursdays and Fridays however, Emma took care of Henry in the afternoon. It had been Regina’s suggestion, and although the boy had settled back in with his child minder perfectly well, it seemed like a logical thing to do. After her weekly meeting with Tina Bell Emma would collect Henry from playgroup and then the two of them would wile away the hours until Regina returned home. On Friday afternoon, they headed for Granny’s and Regina met them there. The weekends, were just the three of them. And occasionally Ruby, Kathryn, and Dot.

Emma therefore felt somewhat reluctant to leave the penthouse on a Saturday morning in late March and kissed Regina goodbye more than once. Henry waved her off too, promising not to eat all of the cookies he and Regina were going to bake before she returned.

“Just think of all the fun we’re going to have tonight,” Regina reasoned. “That’s something to look forward to, right?”

“You’ve been going on for weeks about how much you don’t want to go to this charity ball,” Emma reminded her. “How are you now using it as an incentive?”

Regina cocked her head and regarded the blonde. “You know you don’t have to go today, Emma. Not if you don’t want to.”

Emma sighed and shrugged on her coat. “I don’t want to but I do have to,” she said. “August is my friend and he’s requested to see me. I told him I’d come last week and I didn’t. I can’t put this off any longer.”

Regina nodded her understanding and gave Emma a final kiss goodbye. Once the door to the penthouse closed behind her, Emma took a deep breath. She could do this.

* * *

The rehabilitation clinic Regina had found online was an hour’s train journey north of New York. Emma stared out of the window as the carriage rattled along, countryside and towns whizzing past in a blur of colours. She wasn’t really looking though. Her brain was far too preoccupied. If you had asked Emma why she was reluctant to visit August, she probably couldn’t put her finger on one specific reason. It was more a combination of factors through which her mind was flitting as she waited to arrive.

Emma Swan didn’t trust easily but she had trusted August Booth. That, as it turned out, was a mistake. He had abandoned Emma after just a few short months. Ok, he had left because he had a job and had been offered a chance at a better life. But putting aside the fact that he fucked up said chance mere weeks later, Emma didn’t think it was right of him to just up and leave the way he did. She supposed it was her own fault for becoming dependent on someone again. August had been the one person she felt safe around on the streets. Those long, dark, sleepless nights had all but disappeared when the two of them were together. She trusted him to keep her safe. And then … she was alone again.

And then there was the alcoholism. Emma knew, or suspected, that several of her foster fathers were alcoholics. She had seen what drink did to a man and she hated it. The anger, the violent mood swings, the unpredictability. These qualities poured out as the booze was poured in. She knew August turned to the bottle when his PTDS got unbearable, but she hadn’t thought it was this bad. How had she failed to see it? How had she let him fall so far? That was the thing about Emma Swan. As Regina said, she tended to blame herself for things which were outside of her control.

The ticket inspector interrupted Emma’s thoughts and she handed over her stub with a small smile. He checked it and handed it back, his eyes roaming unabashedly over her. She turned away but supposed it made a nice change to be stared at for looking good rather than because she was panhandling. Her thoughts about August resumed and drifted to the two people she had left behind in the city.

Regina and Henry. They could not and should not be dragged into this messy friendship. If Emma was going to be there for August, and if Regina insisted on helping financially, then she could just about deal with that. But there was no way that her unreliable, unpredictable, well-meaning but calamitous friend could be a part of their lives. He didn’t deserve to be. Come to that, neither did Emma.

Before her mind could travel down that path, the train pulled into the station and Emma quickly jumped out of her seat and scrambled onto the platform. The journey had taken less time than she thought. She found a taxi outside the station and climbed in, gave the address of the clinic and settled back to watch the small town flit by.

The clinic itself was a large stately home set up high on a hill overlooking the town. Under any other circumstances Emma might have appreciated the beauty of the location but her heart had already begun to hammer in her throat and she wiped her sweaty palms on her pants as they drove through the open wrought iron gates. She thanked the driver, paid him, and stepped onto the gravel pathway.

Once the receptionist has signed Emma in and searched her bag to make sure she wasn’t smuggling in any contraband items, she was shown into a small visitors room. She didn’t sit however and instead stared out of the window over the countryside beyond, trying to calm her nerves. She still jumped when the door clicked open behind her. Spinning around, she gasped when she saw her friend.

“August, you look … well, you look great.”

“Thanks,” he replied with a small smile. “And thank you for coming.”

“You said you needed to see me,” Emma said, taking in the man before her whom she barely recognised.

August’s face was clean shaven and his hair was cropped closely to his scalp. He was wearing a white linen shirt and his hands were hidden in the pockets of some jeans. Emma could tell his fingers were fidgeting, however. She hesitated before taking one of the seats and after a moment, August sat down too.

“How have you been?” Emma asked after a pause.

“Good,” August said. “The first few days were tough. I suffered a bit from withdrawal but now I … yeah, I feel good.”

“I’m really glad,” Emma said earnestly. She didn’t know exactly what she had expected but what she was seeing was far better than she had ever imagined. She had never seen August looking so healthy and, frankly, happy.

“How is your new job going?” August asked.

Emma was surprised he even remembered that little bit of information but was touched that he did.

“Great thanks,” she smiled. “I’m really enjoying it.”

“Isn’t that the key to life?” August asked. “Finding work that feels like play?”

Emma shrugged. “Is that why you got yourself fired from the building site? It wasn’t fun enough for you?”

She hadn’t meant to sound so harsh and even she winced a little at her words. August however, seemed nonplussed.

“No,” August said. “I got fired because I have a problem. I’m addicted to alcohol and I didn’t know how to stop myself drinking. I made mistakes and my employer was completely right in his decision to fire me. I was a danger to myself and others. In his position, I would have done exactly the same thing.”

Emma’s eyes widened in surprise. Clearly someone was working through the twelve steps. In fact, Emma already suspected why August had asked her to visit him but before she could ask a question, he answered it for her.

“Emma, I wronged you and I need to make amends,” he said. “Are you willing to listen?”

“I … um, yeah,” Emma nodded at last.

August gave a small smile and then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small chip. Emma knew exactly what it was. After a moment, August handed it to Emma who took it and turned it over. The number twenty one was printed on the other side.

“That’s how many days I’ve been sober,” August said. “It’s also the longest I’ve ever been sober since I left the army five years ago. It started off with a drink or two with friends in the evenings. It was normal, sociable, acceptable behaviour. But then I began to drink faster than my friends, more than everyone else around me. And then, when I ended up on the streets and couldn’t afford alcohol, that was when I knew I had a problem. I would do anything necessary to get the booze. And yet I still didn’t stop. I tried to. Several times, in fact. I tried after I met you, Emma. I saw the way you looked at me when I drank and I knew you hated it. I managed two days. I don’t know if you remember towards the end of November when I was really moody?”

“I remember,” Emma replied. “Is that why?”

“Yeah,” August nodded. “I tried but I wasn’t strong enough. And then when my PTSD came back in December I knew I had to get out of the city to cope but I also knew I needed alcohol. I didn’t want to see that look of disappointment on your face so I … I left.”

“Without telling me,” Emma said, her voice a little harder.

“I regret that,” August said. “I wish I had said something to you. I didn’t want you to think you were alone but I knew I couldn’t say anything without you trying to talk me out of it. This wasn’t your problem, Emma. I didn’t want you dragged into it.”

“Too late,” the blonde said. “It was too late the moment you rescued me that night, August. I owed you and I would have done anything to help you out. You know that, right?”

“I do now,” August nodded. “And that’s what I wanted to say to you today. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for sticking by me even though I don’t deserve a moment of your time because you are an infinitely better human being. And thank you for not giving up on me, for believing I can get clean. Because now I’m here, I believe that too.”

Emma opened her mouth and then closed it again. She didn’t know what to say. She supposed August should thank her. After all, it was she who called the ambulance and saved his life and it was her girlfriend who was footing the bill for his rehab. But that didn’t make her a better person than him.

“You’re welcome,” she said after a while. “And you don’t have to thank me. That’s what friends do for each other.”

“So we’re still friends?” August asked, his voice hopeful.

Emma smiled. “We’ll always be friends, August,” she assured him. “And not just because of what we’ve been through but because I think you’re a good person. Troubled, perhaps, but good. And I’m not better than you. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life too. I’ve done things I regret. I’ve left people too so I know exactly how you’re feeling and it’s a horrible place to be, especially if you think you’re alone. But you’re not. You’ve got me.”

August pulled Emma into an awkward hug, their chairs tilting towards one another as he did so. Emma squeezed him back, missing the previously familiar weight of him against her. They had, after all, slept side by side in the tunnel for months. She decided he needed to hear it.

“I missed you, August,” Emma whispered into his ear.

“I missed you too.”

* * *

By the time Emma returned to the penthouse, she was cutting it fine. As soon as she walked through the door, Regina was dragging her into the bedroom and undressing her. Normally Emma would like where this was leading but instead she stood in her underwear, looking sceptically at the dress Regina was now carrying towards her.

“Are you sure I look ok in this?” Emma asked, eyeing the item of clothing with suspicion.

“Emma, honey, you look absolutely stunning,” Regina assured her. “Everyone in that shop was staring at you, remember?”

“Pretty sure it was because they couldn’t believe how much the dress cost,” she said, eyebrows raised pointedly.

“Quiet,” Regina admonished, tapping Emma on the thigh and encouraging her to step into the dress she had lowered to the floor.

The blonde did so, and Regina pulled the material up and circled around to zip up the back. Emma was left standing staring at herself in the full length mirror. She barely recognised the woman reflected back at her. The blood red dress with its sweet heart neckline, elegant A-line and one ruffle floating from her right ribcage across to her left knee fit her like a glove. But that didn’t mean she felt comfortable in it. Brown eyes peering over her shoulder caught the misgivings on Emma’s face before the blonde could force a smile.

“Hey, if you’re not happy with this dress, you can wear another,” Regina assured. “The one you wore to the theatre would be fine too.”

“No,” Emma said. “I love this dress and you spent so much money on it and -,”

“You’re not happy,” Regina interrupted. “I don’t want to make you wear something you don’t feel comfortable in.”

Emma sighed, a frown appearing on the face reflected back at her as she regarded herself in the mirror. “I just … it looks like someone stuck a beautiful dress on a girl who doesn’t deserve to be wearing it. I feel like a sham: dressing up as someone I’m not.”

“What are you?” Regina asked.

“I’m … I dunno, I’m just Emma. Dorky foster kid turned criminal turned beggar. I’m not someone who wears dresses which cost more than a month’s rent.”

Regina moved to stand between Emma and the mirror and took her face in her hands, forcing the nervous green gaze to meet her own.

“Do you want to know what I see?” Regina asked.

Emma nodded.

“I see a beautiful, elegant, kind-hearted, intelligent young woman whom I love very much and whom I think could do anything she wanted if she just set her mind to it. You’re not a foster kid any more, Emma. You’re not a criminal. You’re not a beggar. You’re Emma Swan and you’re one of the most amazing women I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. And I can’t wait to spend the evening with you by my side.”

Emma couldn’t help but smile back at the woman before her. She could feel tears pricking her eyes but she blinked them back and placed a soft kiss to Regina’s lips.

“Will you help me with my hair?” she asked, a little shyly.

* * *

An hour later and they were pulling up outside a grand hotel. A man rushed forward to open the door and Regina, then Emma, stepped onto the plush carpet leading up to the entrance hall. Regina reached for Emma’s hand at once and gave a little squeeze.

“Ready?” she whispered.

Emma nodded, her freshly curled hair bouncing a little.

Regina led the way, confident and purposeful, and the two of them swept up into the grand ballroom which was already full of people. Lawyers, Emma decided at once, were not her kind of people. Regina introduced her to a few of them as they made their way to the bar to get a much-needed drink. As she was ordering two glasses of champagne, a familiar voice rang out behind them.

“Didn’t you wear that dress to cousin Michael’s fortieth last year?”

“Good evening, mother,” Regina said, turning around and plastering a fake smile on her face. “It’s lovely to see you too.”

Cora ignored the sarcasm and instead continued to eye Regina’s black dress with scepticism.

“Actually, it’s new,” Emma said, looping her arm around Regina’s waist and accepting the offered glass of champagne. “We both went dress shopping last weekend. Regina treated me to this one and bought herself this beautiful black number. Don’t you think she looks incredible tonight?”

Cora merely pursed her lips and turned away, scanning the crowd.

“Regina, I need you to come with me and speak to Rupert Bond and his wife. I can’t get on the prissy woman’s good side and until I do, there’s no way Bond and Jenkins will consider working with us. They’re over there at the moment and I just saw Tim Jenkins too.”

Regina glanced at Emma but the blonde just nodded her encouragement.

“Go, I know this is a work thing,” she assured. “I’ll be fine here. This bar’s free right?”

Regina laughed and nodded, kissing Emma lightly on the lips and promising she’d be back as soon as possible. Emma watched her walk away, her delectable ass encased in skin-tight satin. Once Regina had been swallowed by the crowds, she scanned the room. Everyone looked amazing; Armani suits, Prada clutch bags, Dolce and Gabana dresses. Jewellery glinted in the light cast from the chandeliers overhead. Emma snagged a canapé from a passing waiter and began to admire the domed ceiling, magnificently painted high above her.

“I was wondering when I’d bump into you again.”

The champagne glass slid from between Emma’s fingers and shattered on the floor, glass skittering around her feet but she didn’t care. She lowered her gaze until it met those cold blue eyes she had hoped she would never see again.

“Killian.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: trigger warning for descriptions of sexual assault.

“Yes, but my friends call me Cap,” the man said with a leer.

“I’m not your friend,” Emma spat, her body shrinking slightly as Killian stepped a little closer.

“Oh come now,” he chuckled. “We had such a good time together for all those months. Why do things have to change now you’re also eating some posh chick’s pussy?”

Emma narrowed her eyes and went to push past Killian but he grabbed her arm. She tried to wriggle free but his grip was vice-like. Despite the crowded room, no one was paying the pair the slightest bit of attention.

“Don’t make a scene,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “I just want to talk to you. Come with me and we can go somewhere more private.”

Emma desperately scanned the crowds but couldn’t see Regina anywhere. She couldn’t even spot Cora whose presence she’d be grateful for at that moment. Not knowing what the man holding her was capable of if she were to try and shout out, she followed reluctantly as he tugged her through the crowds and towards the bathrooms.

* * *

Regina nodded politely and smiled as she listened to the lawyer in front of her drone on and on about mergers and acquisitions. She wasn’t really concentrating though and she was already wondering how much longer she would have to obediently stand by her mother’s side before she could escape back to Emma. She drained her champagne glass, thinking she would be able to use that as an excuse to return to the bar and the blonde waiting there but as she did so, a waiter appeared behind her and offered her a replacement at once. She thanked him, even thought she was cursing his efficiency inside.

“… and then we settled for under one million short of their asking price,” Rupert Bond finished.

“Impressive,” Cora practically purred. “You are such a talent in the art of negotiating, don’t you think Vanessa?”

Vanessa Bond eyed Cora with suspicion before giving a non-committal shrug. The tall, thin woman looked incredibly bored standing beside her husband and Regina couldn’t blame her. The man was as dull as dishwater.

“And when we signed the papers their lawyer even said …,”

Regina zoned out again and scanned the crowd. As she did so, she spotted David Nolan. Relieved that she could make an excuse to duck out of the conversation she waited for Rupert to finish his story and then apologised, citing a desperate need to speak to David as her reason. She could practically feel her mother’s eyes burning into her back as she hurried through the crowd.

“David,” she said, catching him by the elbow and turning him towards her.

“Hey, Regina!” he grinned as he took in his friend before him. “Wow you look amazing.”

“Don’t let Mary Margaret hear you saying that,” Regina said. “That woman already hates me enough.”

“That’s because you’re an evil boss,” the man joked. “But don’t worry, she’s not here. Came down with the flu last night and is holed up in bed, poor thing. She’s been looking forward to this all year.”

Of course the woman would love these sorts of events. After all, she clearly enjoyed spending time with lawyers, unlike Regina.

“Flying solo tonight then?” Regina asked.

“No, I brought Cap along instead. He’d been hankering for an invitation for weeks actually. God knows why, I hate this night almost as much as you do.”

At the mention of the man’s name the blood drained from Regina’s face and she at once whipped her head around and peered towards the bar. She couldn’t see it however through the throngs of people.

“You ok?” David asked, frowning at his friend’s reaction.

“Fine,” Regina said. “I’ve got to go and check on Emma though. She’s been waiting for me at the bar as I do the rounds.”

“Oh, I’ll come with you,” David said. “I’ve not seen her since the hospital so it would be nice to say hello again. How’s she been?”

“Great,” Regina said distractedly, leading the way through the crowds and bee-lining towards the bar. David hurried to keep up.

As soon as the bar came into view, Regina’s heart beat faster. Emma was nowhere to be seen. She pulled out her cell as she sped up her pace but there was no message from the blonde. Tapping the green button, she tried to call her girlfriend but it just rang and rang before going to voicemail. Once at the bar, Regina turned and looked back, scanning the crowd.

“What’s up?” David asked, sensing that Regina was very worried about something.

“I don’t know where Emma is,” Regina said. “Excuse me,” she said to the bartender, “did you see where the beautiful blonde in the red dress went?”

The bartender nodded towards the washrooms in the corner of the ballroom and Regina set off at once. David hesitated for a moment, and then followed.

* * *

Emma’s back was pressed hard against the wall, her eyes wide with fear as she scrabbled and pushed against the man before her. Killian’s hand was clapped over her mouth, muffling her moans of protest.

“Quiet,” he hissed through the darkness, “or someone might hear us.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed at this. Of course she wanted someone to hear her. She tried to shout out but Killian’s free hand wrapped around her throat, pushing hard on her neck and forcing the air from her lungs. She coughed against his palm and fell silent.

“Thank you,” he sneered.

Emma took in as much air as she could when his hand released her windpipe but she choked again when she felt his hand pushing her dress up and his leg forcing itself between her thighs. She lashed out, her nails scraping the skin of his arms and causing him to hiss with pain. He somehow managed to grab both her wrists with his hand and held them tightly together.

“Fuck off, you little bitch,” Killian growled. “Don’t pretend you don’t want this. I know you’ve missed me.”

Emma struggled fruitlessly but she couldn’t free her hands. Her hips were pinned to the wall by Killian’s and his leg was still forced between her own.

“Now,” he said slowly. “I am going to let your hands go and you are going to stand here quietly whilst I take what I want. And if you don’t, I’m going to tell your pretty little girlfriend just what sort of woman she’s screwing. Whatwoman abandons her own son, just like her parents abandoned her as a baby? I suppose they knew you were worthless and you knew your son would be too.”

Tears were rolling down Emma’s cheeks. She couldn’t even wipe them away and they trickled over Killian’s fingers. He smiled grotesquely as he felt the warm, salty dampness. She closed her eyes so she didn’t have to see his leer and when he released her hands seconds later, she let them fall limply to her side. She couldn’t let him tell Regina about her son. Regina could never know how Emma had given up her baby.

His hand was between her legs once more, pushing aside her underwear and touching her most intimate area. She sobbed but it was barely audible behind his hand. The click of metal and the rustle of material told Emma Killian was unbuckling and lower his pants. She braced herself for what was coming next. Killian moved closer, his bare flesh brushing against her own.

Light flooded into the closet and pierced through Emma’s closed lids.

“Emma!”

She snapped her eyes open, letting out a cry of relief as she saw Regina standing before her, white-faced and terrified. Killian stumbled backwards, tripping over a box of cleaning supplies as he struggled to pull up his trousers.

“Cap.”

The man froze at the sound of his friend’s voice. Emma knew who it was too as she hastily tried to cover herself up, tugging the dress back into place. Regina rushed past Killian and stood in front of the blonde protectively as David’s face appeared in the doorway.

“David, I can explain,” Killian stammered. “She dragged me in here, she said she wanted to have sex with a man again and -,”

“You liar,” Regina shouted. “Do you really expect us to believe that? David, look at her. Does this look like a woman who wanted what we just saw? Killian was trying to rape Emma. Again.”

David’s kind blue eyes met Emma’s tear-filled green ones. No matter how loyal David had been to Killian in the past, he had known the truth as soon as the closet door opened. In fact it had been he who heard the whimpers as they passed it on the way to the bathrooms.

“Killian, what have you done?” he asked, despair in his voice.

Wide-eyed, Killian stumbled out of the closet and rounded on his friend.

“You believe them? You believe that little criminal, whore beggar and her dyke bitch girlfriend?” he shouted. “What the fuck, David. We’ve been friends since college. How the hell could you betray me like this?”

“You’ve betrayed yourself, Killian,” David said. “I knew you were still having problems but I never thought you would go this far. And need I remind you that I’ve know Regina since college too. And she, unlike you, doesn’t have a record of lying to me and screwing me over just to get a bottle of vodka or a line of coke.”

Killian narrowed his eyes at his friend before turning on his heels and storming off down the corridor. David watched him go before turning back to the two women still standing inside the closet. Regina was hugging Emma tightly, the blonde’s face buried in her neck.

“Regina, we need to -,”

“I know,” Regina said, reluctantly releasing Emma and wiping her own tears away. “We’re coming now.”

Emma frowned. Did Regina really expect her to go back to the party after what had just happened? Realising the blonde was confused, Regina took both of Emma’s hands in her own and squeezed.

“Honey, we’re going to take you to the hospital now.”

“What?” Emma said. “I’m not hurt.”

“We need to do a rape kit,” she explained gently. “If we can get DNA evidence of what just happened, that man will be put away for a long, long time.”

“But he didn’t -,”

“I know,” Regina said, not needing or wanting Emma to verbalise what they had prevented happening by mere seconds, “but there may still be trace evidence. Pre-ejaculate, skin cells, hairs, anything.”

“I scratched him,” Emma said, glancing at her fingernails and wondering if invisible flecks of her rapist were caught beneath them. Her stomach churned at the thought.

“Good,” Regina said. “Are you ok with going to hospital? I … I don’t want to force you to report this but you know that this is our chance to get him for what he did.”

Emma nodded mutely and followed Regina from the closet. The lights in the hallway seemed even brighter and she squinted against them. There were people milling around from the charity function, walking to and from the ballroom and looking inquisitively at Emma, Regina and David. Emma ducked her head, walking blindly after Regina’s heels with David close behind her.

* * *

The hospital was busy, already full of drunks and over-eager partiers who had taken things too far on the Saturday night. Emma didn’t have to wait long however and soon a kindly looking nurse ushered her into a private room to perform the examination. It was humiliating and Emma cried fresh tears as she felt the swabs and heard the clicks of the camera. Once it was over and she was given a crisp hospital gown, Regina rushed into the room. Emma threw her arms around the brunette and sobbed, her whole body shaking as emotional exhaustion flooded her senses. Regina squeezed her tight, never wanting to let go of the beautiful, devastated woman in her arms.

A knock on the door ten minutes later made them break apart. Emma wiped her face and called out her consent for the person to enter. David’s concerned face peered around the frame. Regina smiled at her friend and beckoned him in.

“How are you?” he asked, standing awkwardly at the foot of the bed where Emma was now sitting.

The blonde didn’t answer. She didn’t know what she was supposed to say in answer to that question. David seemed to understand her confused silence.

“Emma, I’m so sorry I took you to meet Cap last month. If I’d have known I would never have done that.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Regina said. “Even I didn’t know who he was.”

David shrugged. “I know but I still feel bad. Why didn’t you tell me that day?”

“Would you have believed me?” Emma asked.

A guilty look crept over David’s features. “Probably not,” he admitted. “After all, I’ve known Cap since college and I’ve never seen him act so aggressively towards a woman. He can be an idiot when he drinks but he’s never been forceful. At least, not with me.”

“And now?” Regina asked. “Do you believe what I told you when we were waiting?”

Regina had figured since David saw what was happening in the closet, Emma wouldn’t be too upset about him finding out what had transpired between herself and Killian for all those months when she was living on the streets. And how it had ended. She hadn’t, however, been sure if he believed her. She was immensely relieved therefore when David nodded.

“I have to,” he said. “I’ve known you for a long time, Regina. I know you wouldn’t lie to me about something like this. And it seemed obvious that Emma and Cap had met before tonight. Even drunk he’s not stupid enough to try something like that in a public place with a complete stranger. As a lawyer, I’d strongly encourage you to press charges.”

“Thank you,” Emma said. “That means a lot.”

“Does that mean you will report this to the police?” Regina asked, turning back to the blonde.

“The hospital have already called the Special Victims Unit,” Emma shrugged. “They always do apparently when someone comes in and discloses a sexual assault. And now I have proof, I suppose there’s no reason not to.”

Regina breathed a sigh of relief. She had thought she was going to have to persuade Emma to report the monster of a man, so she was very pleased to hear Emma had come to that decision on her own. After all, with the legal trials and difficulties which doubtless lay ahead of her, Emma would need to be one hundred per cent committed, not just doing it because Regina wanted her to.

“I know a guy who would be an excellent prosecutor,” David piped up. “I’d do it myself but I believe the judge would consider it a conflict of interest.”

“Thank you,” Regina said. “For everything, David.”

The man nodded and then, seeing the exhausted looks on the women’s faces, made his excuses to leave. Regina promised to call as soon as they knew anything about the case and Emma thanked him once again for his support. When they were alone in the room once more, Regina climbed up onto the bed beside Emma and pulled her into her arms. That was how the SVU detectives found them an hour later.

The interview took less than fifteen minutes, after which Emma was discharged and the two of them made their way silently back to the penthouse. It was after midnight when they walked through the door and everything was quiet. Ruby, who had been babysitting Henry, had been offered the guest bedroom since they were anticipating being late back, although not for the reasons which transpired.

“Are you sure you’re ok to sleep in here?” Regina asked as the two of the entered the master bedroom. “I can take the couch if you’re -,”

“No,” Emma said firmly. “I want to be in here. With you.”

“Really?” Regina asked, her heart feeling minutely lighter than it had done since the moment she realised Emma was missing hours earlier.

The blonde moved towards her with a gentle smile and ducked to kiss Regina’s lips lightly.

“Nothing happened,” Emma reminded her. “Not really, anyway. Thanks to you and David he didn’t hurt me. I’m not going to let what that bastard did to me destroy what we have. I love you and I want our relationship to remain as it was. Sex and all.”

Regina nodded her understanding but didn’t smile. Emma noticed.

“Unless … I mean, if you don’t want me now that -,”

“No!” Regina exclaimed. “No, Emma, that’s not it.”

A sigh of relief escaped the blonde and she seemed to sag slightly where she stood. “Really?”

“Really,” Regina assured. “I love you too and I want us to go back to normal as soon as possible. But I also know it’s going to take time and I don’t want to push you. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to have sex with you because I do. I always want you, Emma. You’re … addictive.”

Emma couldn’t help but smirk at this description and she wrapped her arms around Regina’s waist and kissed her, slow and deep. When they broke apart, Emma went to have a hot shower, scrubbing her whole body several times. Emerging feeling slightly cleaner, she brushed her teeth alongside Regina and then they got ready for bed and slid under the covers together. Despite what they had said, neither woman wanted to do anything more than lie in each other’s arms that night. Regina curled herself around Emma, the scars on her pale back barely registering as she encircled the slender frame. She peppered kisses along her shoulder blades and buried her face into the familiar smell of Emma’s hair. The blonde wiggled back into the comforting arms, placing her hands over Regina’s which lay on her stomach.

“We’re going to get through this together,” Regina whispered. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good,” Emma breathed back. “Because I’d go to the ends of the earth to find you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: a huge, huge, huge thank you to Swanqueen44 who handed this idea to me on a plate when I asked for thoughts on how to deal with the bastard that is Killian (in this story only, of course). Apologies for the emotional chapter and I’m sure some of you found it hard to read. It was hard to write too. But it’s done now. The worst is over for Emma and our two ladies can move forward with their lives … well, once they deal with Emma’s secret, that is!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thanks for all the support guys. If you’re on twitter, head over and follow swanqueenukff. I post the updates there as well as little teasers etc.

If Ruby could sense that something had happened the previous evening, she didn’t say anything. Regina had answered all questions pertaining to the ball whilst Emma sat at the breakfast bar, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee, picking absentmindedly at her fingernails. The tall brunette ate pancakes with the three of them before leaving to meet Dot. Once she had gone, Emma moved soundlessly into the living room and sat motionless on the couch, staring at nothing on the cream wall opposite.

“Mama, what’s wrong with Emma?” Henry asked.

Regina knew he was going to pick up on something, being such an intuitive little boy. But she had hoped he wasn’t going to ask in front of the blonde who turned to look at him where he sat on the floor with his slightly blushing mother.

“I’m fine, Henry,” Emma said before Regina could think of anything to say.

“You look sad,” Henry said, his little forehead furrowed in thought.

Emma patted the couch beside her and Henry obediently got up and climbed onto the soft cushions where Emma put her arm around him and pulled his small body against her own.

“I’m not sad, kid,” she said. “But I had very long day yesterday and now I’m tired. I have lots of things to think about but they’re good things, I promise.”

“Then why aren’t you smiling?” Henry asked.

The corners of Emma’s mouth twitched but Henry didn’t look satisfied.

“Do you want some ice cream?” he asked.

“No thanks.”

Henry frowned even harder at that. Emma Swan never turned down ice cream. Regina, noticing her son’s distress, stood up from where she had been sat on the floor and moved to Henry’s other side, her arm also looped around his back.

“Henry, Emma’s going to be fine. I promise,” Regina said.

“Really?” he asked, a sceptical look on his young features. “She’s not going to go away like my other mama did?”

Henry rarely spoke about Dani even though Regina talked about her often and at the mention of her wife, the brunette’s eyes burned with tears. Well, that coupled with the fact that Henry was already considering Emma something of a parental figure.

“No,” she assured him, forcing a smile. “Emma isn’t going anywhere. And your other mama got sick, remember? Emma isn’t sick, is she?”

Henry turned to look at Emma again, trying to judge her health with his gaze. The blonde, on her part, tried to smile.

“She only ate one pancake,” he observed.

“That is un-Emma-like,” Regina admitted, winking at the blonde. “But I think maybe she was just saving space for the burgers I’m going to make for dinner.”

“Burgers!” Henry exclaimed, his concern about Emma immediately forgotten. “Yay! Can I have cheese and bacon on mine?”

“You may have one or the other,” Regina said. “Not both.”

“Can I have both?” Emma asked.

Regina and Henry turned to look at her with the exact same expression. Surprise and delight that the blonde was seemingly returning to her old, joking, greedy self. Emma couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Perhaps,” Regina said with a slight smirk. “But it’s conditional.”

“What’s the condition?” Emma asked.

Regina said nothing and instead leaned towards Emma over her son’s head. Their lips met in a sweet kiss, Henry wedged between their bodies until the boy began to wriggle free, grumbling about girls being gross as he slipped from the couch and returned to the board game he had been playing with Regina earlier.

“Can Emma join our game, Henry?” Regina asked when they broke apart, her deep chocolate eyes filled with love as she stared at Emma.

“Yep,” he called, already pulling out a red counter and placing it on the board in front of him. “Hurry up though. I want to eat dinner soon!”

It was only eleven in the morning and both Emma and Regina laughed as they joined the small boy on the plush carpet and began to play.

* * *

Later that day, Emma and Henry were working side by side to mix the burger seasoning when Regina’s cell phone rang. She excused herself and answered without looking at the screen.

“Where did you and that skank go last night?”

“Mother,” Regina said through gritted teeth as she walked quickly from the kitchen. “Now is really not the time.”

“Last night wasn’t the time to disappear on me either, Regina dear,” Cora sneered back. “I was sat on my own at our table all evening and people were talking. What has that troublesome woman got you involved in?”

Regina counted to ten in her head before answering. Arguing with her mother was something she could really do without that particular day. Or any day, come to that.

“I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye, Mother, but we had an emergency and there wasn’t time to let you know. How was the rest of the evening?”

“Uneventful,” Cora replied. “What emergency?”

Regina bit her lip. Her mother was going to find out about the rape allegations sooner or later, she knew. But she really didn’t want to have the inevitable conversation which would follow. She decided to postpone it and not ruin her Sunday evening with Emma and Henry.

“I’m sorry, Mother, but I really need to go. Henry’s helping me cook dinner and I need to get back to him.”

“I’ll find out what that Emma girl is involved in sooner or later you know, Regina,” Cora said. Regina could practically hear her dark eyes narrowing. “Say hello to my favourite grandson for me.”

If Cora Mills had a choice of grandchildren, Regina was fairly certain Henry wouldn’t top the favourite list. He was too loud, too direct, and too enthusiastic about life. Regina however, thought he was perfect and despite having just spoken to her mother, she couldn’t contain the smile spreading over her face when she returned to the kitchen and found Emma and Henry both covered in spices, their fingers stained orange and laughter bubbling from their lips.

* * *

Henry decided on cheese for his burger in the end but that didn’t stop him from reaching over and sliding a rasher of bacon from Emma’s own plate, much to the blonde’s half-hearted protests. Once he was in bed that night, Regina and Emma curled up on the couch together, knowing they needed to talk but neither one of them wanting to begin the conversation.

“It’s true what I said to Henry, you know,” Emma murmured after a while. “About what I’m thinking being good things. I mean, fundamentally, I suppose.”

“August and Killian?” Regina asked.

“Yeah.”

Because it was true that despite everything that had happened the previous evening, Emma was still thinking of her day at the rehabilitation clinic. It had been great to see August again but it had also been difficult. He had clearly come far along the road to recovery but Emma knew he had further to go and he also would never stop travelling down it. Alcoholics and addicts never recover. Not really. They struggle day by day for the rest of their lives. And Emma still wasn’t sure she was going to be able to be there for him, not without jeopardising her relationship with Regina and Henry too. But the fact that August was moving in the right direction was wonderful.

Thoughts of Killian were also positive. Ok, not about the man himself but the future. Emma knew she had a chance of getting justice at last. True, many rape cases went to trial and the men were acquitted. But they at least went to court. They were heard but a judge and a jury. Emma’s story was going to be heard. Killian’s life was going to be shattered in a way that even a rich father couldn’t fix. Rape allegations never went away completely, even when your father is Brennan Jones, Vice Admiral of the United States Navy. The case itself would be difficult, no doubt, but with Regina and David in her corner, and physical evidence to back up her claims, she was feeling optimistic for the first time in a long time.

There was one other thought in Emma’s head. One Regina didn’t, and couldn’t, know about. Her son. She tried valiantly to forget that small bundle as he was taken away from her four years previously but she had failed. She thought of him often. Every day, in fact. He was never far from her mind and each time her heart clenched painfully. She had abandoned her son. She had done exactly what her parents did to her. Killian was right, she really was worthless but that didn’t mean her child was too. He did, however, deserve better. Emma hoped he had found that. The only problem was, she would never know if he did.

Regina’s voice floated back to her ears and pulled Emma’s mind away from her lost son.

“… and when August gets out of rehab, he should be able to testify saying he saw you and Killian together regularly,” Regina was saying. “That can only strengthen our case.”

“Hopefully,” Emma said. “The detectives called when you and Henry were in the bathroom by the way. They’re expecting the rape kit results back in the morning and once they have DNA evidence they can arrest.”

“It’s all going to work out,” Regina said, kissing Emma’s cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

You wouldn’t be if you knew what I’d done, Emma thought to herself.

Regina would never understand Emma's decision. After all, plenty of women keep their babies born in prison. It was a viable option. But Emma had chosen not to. She had chosen to turn her back on her own flesh and blood rather than face up to the responsibility of being a mother. After all, what sort of a mother would she have been?

Henry appeared in the doorway.

“Mama, I had a bad dream,” he whimpered.

“I’ve got it,” Emma said at once, slipping out from beneath Regina’s arm and walking over to the small boy.

“Come on, kid,” she said, swinging him up and onto her hip. “Did I ever tell you the story about Marlo and the mysterious banana thief?”

* * *

Emma returned to work the next day, despite Regina insisting she would surely be entitled to some sort of leave. Not wanting to deal with having to tell Mal, however, Emma turned up at the Dragon Youth Centre on Monday ten minutes before her shift was supposed to start. She helped Ursula and Belle set up for the homework club that afternoon and then the three of them sat in the small staff room drinking coffee and waiting for the children to arrive. Emma realised, as she sipped her drink, that she had friends. She hadn’t had many friends in her life and for the first time since Saturday, she felt her spirits lift somewhat. Her life was on a far better path than it had ever been before and Killian Jones was not going to derail her.

In fact, it was more likely that Emma Swan was going to derail him. When the lead detective on her case called later that evening, she informed Emma the results from her tests had come back positive for both semen and skin cells. It came as no surprise to Emma that the match in the system pointed to one man. Killian Jones.

Just before midnight, Emma’s cell rang once more. With Regina’s arms wrapped around her waist, Emma listened as the detective informed her of how Killian had been both arrested and charged with attempted rape and would be remanded to Rikers pending a trial hearing.

“It’s happening,” Emma breathed out into the dark bedroom after she ended the call. “We’re really going to get him.”

“Let’s hope,” Regina nodded, pulling herself closer to Emma beneath the covers.

* * *

The following morning Emma and Regina attended the pre-trial hearing where their lawyer greeted them. Emma did a double-take before Regina laughed and said she had forgotten to mention that David was a twin. James Nolan was smart as a whip and commanded the attention of everyone in the courtroom. As Killian stood silently beside his own representation, Emma sat and watched as the judge handed down his recommendations. Bail was granted and the two hundred thousand bond would be negligible to Brennan Jones, who strode from the court room as soon as the gavel had come crashing down, getting his son released within minutes. Emma and Regina however, were already in the town car speeding away from the building by the time Killian stepped outside, already being swarmed by reporters.

When Emma walked into the youth centre that afternoon, Ursula and Mal stopped talking at once. Emma’s heart sank.

“You know?”

The two women nodded and sad smiles graced their faces.

“I’m so sorry to hear what happened, Emma,” Mal offered, beckoning her newest employee over to where they were sat. “If there’s anything we can do to help, please let us know.”

“Thanks,” Emma replied. “I’m fine though. Work keeps me distracted. But how did you find out? I thought these trials were supposed to be anonymous.”

“Well Brennan Jones is pretty famous,” Mal shrugged. “And his son is well known too. Although not for anything good. The reporters were bound to be interested when they found out about the court appearance.”

“And it would have helped if you weren’t running around with Regina Mills,” Ursula piped up. “The two of you were on camera leaving the court house. Everyone knows she’s not a criminal lawyer. It … well, it made sense and a few bloggers have put it together, worked out who you are, and published their theories online.”

Emma sighed. She supposed she knew it would get out eventually but she had optimistically hoped it wouldn’t. Now she would have to add yet another label to herself. Emma Swan: orphan, foster kid, criminal, beggar, rape victim.

“Excuse me,” Emma said, pulling out her cell and quickly dialling the SVU detective.

After being assured that they were working as fast as they could to remove the sites which mentioned her by name, Emma thanked the detective for her support that morning in court and returned to the room. Once more, Mal and Ursula fell silent.

“Look, if you have questions, it’s probably best you just ask them now,” Emma sighed. “I’d much rather that than you bitching behind my back.”

It may have been a brash thing to say to one’s boss but Mal looked anything but offended. Rather, she looked impressed at Emma’s determined and straightforward approach.

“We were just … I mean, is it true that you were living on the streets for two years?”

“Where did you hear that?” Emma frowned.

“One of the blogs,” Mal admitted.

Emma closed her eyes and ran her hands over her face. She knew this was just the beginning. For months now, she would be questioned and harassed over what had really happened between her and Killian and the circumstances she had been in. She was tired already. And it was only the first day.

“No,” Emma said at last. “I was homeless for about seven months actually. Before that, I was living it up in Florida.”

“Oh a lovely place to live,” Mal said, a bright smile on her face. “I’ve spent so many wonderful vacations down there and was even considering moving at one point.”

“I think I prefer New York,” Emma shrugged.

In her head, of course, she wasn’t so much comparing cities as girlfriends. Regina certainly trumped Lily in every category.

“So the site said Killian was well known to some … prostitutes,” Ursula said. “Is that how -,”

“We met? Yeah,” Emma nodded. “When I first got to the city I did some things I’m not proud of. And Killian became a regular of mine. The allegations however are nothing to do with that time and even if they had been, he was in the wrong.”

“Of course,” Mal said at once. “We weren’t judging you. Both myself and Ursula have done dark things when it’s the only way to keep our heads above water.”

“And I wasn’t implying that you being a hooker meant you deserved what you got,” Ursula added, making it sound somehow like that was exactly what she meant.

Emma forced a smile but she felt like crying. Was this is? Was this the end of her friendships with these two women? She really hoped not but she was also realistic. Who, after all, wanted to stick by someone accusing one of the most powerful families in the United States of America of rape? Emma doubted whether she would herself but she truly hoped Mal and Ursula found the strength to support her.

“Any other questions?” Emma asked, sensing there was something more the women wanted to know.

Mal looked uncomfortable again and at last it was Ursula who spoke out.

“Is it true?”

“Yes,” Emma said simply before turning and walking back towards the entrance where the children were starting to arrive.

* * *

Regina’s cell phone had been buzzing all afternoon. She had put it on silence and then turned it over so she couldn’t see the illuminated display. She glanced at the clock on her computer screen and saw she had only five more minutes until she could escape and pick up Henry. Turning back to the document she was working on, her fingers began to fly quickly over the keypad again. Seconds later, however, the door flew open.

“You’re girlfriend is taking Brennan Jones’ son to court?”

“Mother,” Regina said, hurrying over and closing the door on an intrigued looking Mary Margaret. Seemingly David had heeded Emma’s request not to say anything to anyone. “What are you doing here?”

“Well since you weren’t answering your phone, I decided to make my way down from my office so I can actually speak to my daughter who, by the way, has clearly gone insane,” Cora snapped, sitting down uninvited and folding her arms. “What on earth is going on with you and Emma?”

Regina tried. She really did. But she couldn’t help but explode when Cora’s face turned into a sneer at the mention of Emma’s name.

“He raped her, Mother!” she shouted. “He raped her. What the hell do you think we should do? Ignore it and move on with our lives? He deserves to be punished for what he did.”

“Oh darling, you know as well as I do that Brennan will hire the best lawyer in the world to defend his one and only son. There’s no way you’ll get a conviction. I doubt it will even go to trial. What has Emma said to you that’s made you think she stands a chance at winning?”

“Emma hasn’t said anything to me,” Regina hissed. “I was the one who told her to file charges. I was the one who hired James Nolan. And I will be the one standing by her side every step of the way until that monster is locked up behind bars where he belongs.”

Cora chuckled. “You’re deluded. The two of you. So wrapped up in your sordid little affair that you’ve lost all sense of perspective. Drop the case, get back on track with your work, move on from that whore, and start being the daughter I can be proud of.”

Tears stung Regina’s eyes but she wasn’t sure which of the biting comments had caused them. Blinking them back, she forced herself to speak in a low, even voice.

“Firstly, I have absolutely no intention of dropping this case and as long as I continue to perform my duties here, you have no way to stop me. Secondly, I love Emma, Mother. I don’t want to ever move on from her and I hope I never have to. I’d have thought you would be happy I’ve found someone again. And finally, you have never, ever been proud of me. From the moment I told you I was gay, I’ve been a disappointment. Thirteen years and you still can’t accept who I am. This anger you’re directing at me now isn’t anything to do with Brennan Jones and his position in this town. It’s because you think I’m going to be happy again with Emma. I’m going to stop being the broken, sad, damaged daughter you’ve been able to mould into a partner at your law firm and start being my own person again. Someone who is loved and appreciated and who doesn’t search for their mother’s approval any more. And you know what, Mother? You’re right. That is who I’m becoming and now, if you don’t mind, I’m late to pick up my son.”

Regina grabbed her handbag from her desk and stalked out of the office, leaving her mother sitting there open-mouthed.

* * *

Neither woman mentioned their respective conversations to the other that night. They didn’t think it necessary to rake over the details when all that really mattered was how their bodies were pressed hotly against one another, slow and sensual kisses accompanying their delicate caresses as they slowly drifted off to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: time jump. Because … I wanted to! And NSFW because I’ve not written smut in a while, sorry!!!

It was a sweeping statement but Emma hated lawyers. With the exception of Regina, of course. She had been sat in James Nolan’s office for hours, with him trying to prepare her for the trial which was set to begin the following Monday. It had been six weeks since Killian Jones was arrested and Emma was surprised every morning when she woke up and discovered that the case was still proceeding. But at that moment it time she wished it wasn’t. In fact, she wished she had never allowed Regina to talk her into this. James was leaning against his desk, arms crossed, and a scowl on his face.

“So what you’re saying is that after months of you providing sexual services to the defendant, he was supposed to believe that you no longer wanted him?”

“I said no,” Emma replied, her eyes sparkling with tears.

“Is it true that the pair of you had engaged in fantasy role play in the past?” James asked.

“Yes, but not rape-themed because that’s -,”

“And is it also true,” James said, cutting Emma off, “that you claim to have been raped by another man whilst you were working as a prostitute and yet you never brought charges against this first assailant?”

Emma bit her lip. “How did you know that?”

“August was in yesterday for his trial prep,” James said, breaking character and switching back into Emma’s lawyer rather than the man defending a rapist. “He mentioned it to me and I wouldn’t be surprised if it comes out at trial.”

“And that will stand against me?” Emma asked. “The fact that someone else raped me is, what, going to discredit my story?”

“They can spin it so it looks like you’re only going after Killian Jones because of who he is. Or rather who his family is,” James said.

“But I didn’t know who he was!” Emma protested. “And I would have gone to the police after the first time if I had thought it would have done any good. But what chance does a girl like me have of getting justice?”

“Well when you’re dating Regina Mills, pretty good,” James joked but seeing the look on Emma’s face, he frowned. “I mean, I know everyone deserves justice but I also know the legal system in this country is skewed towards people with money. At least in this case there’s a fair fight.”

“With Regina throwing money at you and Brennan Jones throwing money at that Hades guy. Aptly named by the way. He literally is the lord of the underworld. He’s defending a rapist. He’s -,”

A knock on the door made Emma stop talking. James walked over and opened it at once.

“Well, speak of the devil. Literally,” he said, standing back so Gregory Hades could walk into his office. “What brings you back here? I told you, we’re not taking another one of your pathetic deals.”

Because Gregory Hades had indeed turned up at the Nolan brothers’ offices on numerous occasions, attempting to settle the case out of court. So far however, every offer had been far too lenient and neither James nor Emma nor Regina, were willing to accept.

“One year jail time, and his name goes on the register for sexual offenders for ten years,” Gregory said.

James rolled his eyes. “No thanks,” he replied, still standing with his hand on the door, waiting for the other lawyer to leave. “What with the DNA, multiple witnesses and Emma’s testimony, I think I’ll take my chances in court.”

A slow smile spread over Gregory’s face. “Oh but you don’t have the one thing that we do.”

“And what’s that? A trust fund?” James quipped back. 

“Me.”

Gregory stalked back past James and the man slammed the door after him.

“Cocky bastard,” James huffed. “Right, where were we?”

“Actually, I’m feeling really tired,” Emma said. “Mind if we continue tomorrow morning?”

James nodded his understanding and accompanied Emma outside where Graham was waiting for her. Glancing up at the clouds, she noted the sky looked as dark as she felt. A late spring storm was coming after a month of warm weather. The town car crawled through the New York rush hour traffic towards Henry’s daycare centre but Emma was glad of the time alone to think. The last six weeks had been overwhelming and she had barely had the chance to wrap her head around what was happening. The trial started in less than four days and if all went according to plan, she would be telling a court room of strangers what Killian Jones did to her in a week’s time. She didn’t think she could do it. Not if the questions were as abrupt and hurtful as James’ had been today. And knowing Gregory Hades, they’d probably be much worse.

“Ma’am?” came Graham’s voice, interrupting her thoughts.

Emma jumped, still not used to being called Ma’am and also at the realisation that they were outside Zelena’s brownstone. She hopped out and jogged up the steps to ring the bell. Picking up Henry, she thanked the red-head and made her way back to the car just as the first crack of thunder sounded overhead. By the time they got to the apartment building, raindrops were hammering hard on the windshield and the streets were deserted. Everyone had retreated inside as the water cascaded from the sky. Thanking Graham, Emma threw the door open and she and Henry dashed for the entrance. The sidewalk was mere metres wide but they were both drenched as they passed the doorman, laughing together as they headed towards the lifts. As she lifted Henry up so he could press the button to the penthouse, Emma felt a surge of love for the boy in her arms. She wondered how she could ever had gotten through the past month with him and his mother. She realised as she slid the key into the lock of her home, that she wouldn’t have. 

Her home. That was another thing she had now, thanks to Regina. They had repeatedly had conversations about their living arrangements, both citing the unusual order in which their relationship had developed but neither woman expressing any desire to change them. Emma certainly wasn’t able to afford to find a place of her own with her part time job and Regina didn’t want Emma to leave. So they had agreed that, unorthodox as it was, they would continue as they had been: navigating all the trials and difficulties which come with any new relationship whilst living under the same roof. Emma, finally, had a home.

And as for those early relationship difficulties, well, aside from Emma being a former street-rat and the impending rape trial, and the fact that Regina’s mother barely spoke to her outside of meetings, and that Henry called Emma ‘Mama’ once but the brunette didn’t hear it and the blonde didn’t mention it, everything was great. Emma couldn’t remember being happier, despite everything else which was going on in her life. So that evening, as she sat on the couch reading over the notes James Nolan had given her to ensure she was familiar with the court proceedings, Emma grinned widely when she felt two soft, warm hands slip over her eyes.

“Guess who,” came the familiar husky voice.

“How did you get in without you hearing me?” Emma asked, turning and pulling Regina in for a long kiss.

“I’m stealthy,” she shrugged when they broke apart.

“Isn’t that a dwarf?” Emma asked.

Regina thought for a moment. “Don’t think so. Not unless there was an eighth no one knew about. What are you so engrossed in anyway?”

Emma held up the document and then tossed it aside. Instead, she patted the couch beside her and Regina gratefully sank onto it, toeing off her heels as she did so. It had been a long day at her office and it was already nearing nine o’clock.

“How was Henry?” she asked as she curled into Emma’s side.

“Fine,” the blonde answered. “Marlo and his friends built a rope bridge today.”

“You know,” Regina mused, “you really should write these stories down. Your ideas are great.”

Emma shrugged and pulled Regina closer to her. “I’d rather just tell them. It’s more natural. Once I start writing them down then they’re fixed. I can’t change them and they feel too … rigid.”

“Ok,” Regina replied. “I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Aside from taking Killian Jones to court.”

Regina’s frame froze in Emma’s arms for a moment before she slowly sat up, turning to face the blonde with wide eyes.

“What?”

Emma rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. You’re not making me do any of this Regina and I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Bad meeting?” the brunette asked.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “This testifying thing is scary as fuck.”

“I know, but we’ve got a great chance of winning. That man is going to go away for a long time.” Regina said. Emma shrugged but didn’t look convinced. 

“Want me to make you forget about it?”

Emma’s eyebrows rose at the lowered tone of Regina’s voice, accompanied by a salacious wink. She opened her mouth to answer but the practically predatory look in the brown eyes made her close it again. She didn’t need to speak, she decided. She’d done enough of that today. This was time for her and Regina. And it had also been three whole days since they had had sex. Which, for their relationship, was a long time. 

They stumbled their way into the bedroom, their mouths working furiously against one another. Before the door had even closed behind them, Emma had forgotten her worried and troubles of the day because her head was just too full of Regina. The way the woman’s body was pressed against her own. The way perfectly manicured nails were digging slightly into her ass through her pants. The way her tongue swiped across her lips before delving into her mouth. The way she whimpered when Emma palmed her breast roughly before she began to undo the buttons of her shirt.

Emma fumbled the blouse open and quickly pushed it from Regina’s shoulders. Her fingers snaked around to unclasp the bra behind and dropped that to the floor too. Her eager hands covered Regina’s pert mounds, squeezing softly as her lips captured the moan the movement caused. She guided Regina backwards towards the bed where the brunette lay down, watching with hooded eyes as a still fully clothed Emma unbuttoned her suit pants and tugged them down her legs. She quickly returned, kissing across the top edge of Regina’s lace thong before removing that too, leaving the woman gloriously naked. Regina propped herself up on her elbows and watched as Emma quickly divested herself of her t-shirt and jeans.

“You know, I thought I was supposed to be distracting you,” Regina remarked, a teasing note in her voice as she watched Emma, clad only in her underwear, kneel between her spread legs.

“You are,” Emma replied before her mouth sealed over Regina’s sex.

The brunette collapsed back onto the bed, her body spasming at the abrupt sensation. Emma’s tongue moved slowly and steadily from her entrance up through her folds to her clit where she circled once before retreating. The hot, slippery muscle slid easily through the wetness already gathered between Regina’s thighs and Emma drank her in, relishing the delicious taste of her girlfriend. She wrapped her arms beneath Regina’s back and pulled her to the edge of the bed, her ass right on the edge of the mattress and her thighs spread wide so she could feast as deeply as possible on the pussy before her. 

Regina moaned as she felt Emma’s tongue dip inside her, her walls squeezing around the welcome muscle. Fingers threaded through Emma’s hair, pulling her closer, and she swung her legs over Emma’s shoulder, her heels encouraging the woman to press harder against her. Emma obliged, naturally. She buried her face in Regina’s sex, her tongue flickering as deeply as possible inside the velvety walls and her nose rubbing repeatedly over Regina’s clit. Her own sex was throbbing with pleasure and she couldn't wait for Regina to touch her later. But right now, she was focused on the brunette’s pleasure and brought her fingers up to tease her clit. Sucking them briefly into her mouth, Emma circled Regina’s clit several times as her tongue continued to thrust in and out of her channel. She could feel Regina’s walls beginning to flutter with the tell-tale signs of an impending orgasm so she pressed harder against her clit, fast, furious little rubs as her tongue pushed deep and strong, lapping at the essence as it began to flow faster. 

As her orgasm hit her, Regina came with a short cry, her hand clapped over her mouth. She arched off the bed, her body overcome with feelings and desire as Emma worked her over the peak and gradually back down, gently licking and suckling her tender sex until at last the brunette lay quietly and spent on the bed. Emma got to her feet and helped Regina slide up the bed until they were lying side by side on the pillows. 

Emma kissed Regina softly, knowing how much the brunette enjoyed the taste of her own come on Emma’s lips. She sighed in contentment as she pulled the brunette closer to her and felt Regina’s arms intertwine around her waist. She loved the feeling of their bodies pressed against one another, their smooth skin slightly damp after the exertion but warm and soft and comforting nonetheless. She closed her eyes as Regina’s head moved to rest on her shoulder and dozed off within minutes.

She was awoken soon after however by Regina’s fingers trailing slowly though her wet folds. Blinking her eyes open, she peered through the dim light of the bedroom to see Regina’s smiling face beside her. 

“You can’t sleep yet, darling,” Regina cooed. “I believe I owe you an orgasm.”

Never one to deny Regina, especially when it meant her own pleasure, Emma lay back against the pillows and watched as Regina crawled down the bed. The brunette paused for a moment and then seemed to make up her mind about something. She straddled one of Emma’s thighs and lifted the other one up, encouraging the blonde to rest her calf on her shoulder. Which Emma did, of course. She gasped as she realised what Regina had in mind. Despite their sex life being both frequent and varied, they had yet to try what she believed Regina was about to do.

“Ok?” the brunette asked her as she slid herself a little closer to Emma’s core.

“Yes,” the younger woman hissed as two fingers deftly slid through her dripping folds. 

Regina smirked and dipped the tips of both fingers inside the blonde. She pumped slowly a few times before pulling out and bringing her slick fingers up to rub over Emma’s clit. She then shuffled a little further forwards, forcing Emma’s leg even straighter, and lowered her own sex against the blonde’s.

It felt good at once. The hot, wet, intimate act. And Regina felt her body tremble in delight as she felt the faint sensation of Emma’s hard little clit against her core. She moved slightly, gasping as her own clit knocked against Emma’s. The blonde groaned too, her hands flying to grip Regina’s hips and keep the brunette in place. It was delicate, sweet, and incredibly arousing as they stayed stock-still, their sexes positioned perfectly against one another. Emma knew she had never felt closer to anyone in her life.

“I love you,” she blurted out.

Emma didn’t like telling her girlfriends she loved them in bed. It seemed to her that the pleasure had forced the words, rather than her heart. But in this instant, she knew that she loved Regina Mills with every fibre of her being, those rubbing intimately against her sex and every other part too.

“I love you,” Regina replied. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

Emma’s breath hitched but she didn’t have time to reply as Regina began to rock against her, tiny movements of her hips which kept their clits pressed closely together. Emma cried out in delight, her fingernails digging into Regina’s hips as she felt her body above her. She knew she wasn’t going to last long but she also didn’t care. So she gave over to the sensations; the way Regina’s heat radiated against her own, the way their juices had mingled and formed a slick, heady mix she could smell in the air, the way Regina’s hardened bundle of nerves knocked against her own, each collision causing a jolt of arousal which pushed her further to the edge.

She fell blissfully over with Regina mere seconds behind her. Pulling the woman down on top of her, Emma kissed her passionately, trying to convey everything she was feeling but couldn’t put into words. Regina understood. Regina always understood Emma. 

When the brunette moved to roll off the blonde minutes later, arms tightened around her waist. 

“Stay,” she mumbled against Regina’s throat. 

Regina obliged, wrapping her arms beneath Emma’s neck and kissing her forehead. She simply lay there, above Emma, listening to the steady beat of their hearts, almost in time, until the grip around her waist loosened and she slid off, quickly snuggling back into Emma’s side.

After a while, they sleepily pulled on some pyjamas and brushed their teeth. Once back in bed, Regina switched off the light and Emma rolled into her arms. That was one of the things she loved most about their relationship; they were equals, neither one of them needing to always be the big spoon or the top or even the strong one. Only last week Emma had comforted Regina after a particularly biting comment Cora had shot at her daughter across a meeting room. But the next day it had been Regina assuring Emma that the trial would be worth it after Gregory Hades had offered one of his pathetic deals. 

“I meant what I said, you know,” Regina whispered into the darkness. “About loving you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Aside from Henry.”

Emma stiffened slightly in her arms but said nothing. She sensed that Regina needed to say what was on her mind without interruption.

“I loved Dani,” she continued. “I still love Dani and will do for the rest of my life. But what I feel when I’m with you is so much … more than I ever had with her. I can’t explain it, but I know what we have is on a whole new level. My love for you is stronger than I ever believed possible.”

“Mine too,” Emma murmured. “It scares me sometimes when I think of how much I love you. I’ve never needed anyone in my life before, Regina. I’ve always wanted to be independent and strong without a man or woman by my side. But I need you. Even if I wasn’t dealing with this trial at the moment, I know I’d still need you in my life. You … when we’re together I feel -,”

“Complete?” Regina supplied.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded, craning up to kiss Regina’s soft lips. “Complete.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok, so I wasn’t going to write the trial but it just sort of happened. Now, I’m not a lawyer but I have spent time for work experience in courtrooms so I hope this is relatively believable. And if not, constructive criticism is always welcome. Politely phrased, of course.

It was Sunday night and Emma was sitting on the edge of the bed, regarding the new dress and blazer hanging on the front of the wardrobe. In less than twelve hours, she’d be sitting in court as the charges against Killian Jones were read aloud and her life would change forever. Gregory Hades had offered one last desperate deal the previous Friday but James Nolan had rejected it, assuring Emma that the only reason he was doing so was because he was confident they would get a conviction from the jury. Emma, however, wasn’t so sure.

Killian Jones had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. His father was already a prominent Navy officer and his mother a notorious New York socialite. Every year since his birth, the family wealth simply grew and grew. As the only son of the powerful couple, Killian had gotten everything he had ever asked for. Spoilt, entitled, and richer than Emma could even imagine being, his life had taken a turn when he reached Yale University and he began to drink, take drugs, and generally go off the rails. After years of bad behaviour, his father had sent him to a rehabilitation centre and he had since been clean. Well, at least from drugs. He still drank at times, although Emma wasn’t sure if this was common knowledge but she knew it to be true. The other facts, Emma had found out when she had googled her attacker. She hadn't told Regina, though.

And then there was Emma. Abandoned by her unknown biological parents, shunted from foster family to foster family for seventeen years until she finally had enough and ran away. Ending up in prison mere months later. Pregnant. Regina didn’t know about that either. She was grateful she had never really suffered from stretch marks and the few she had faded quickly. And then ending up on the streets of New York, selling her body just to get by. Raped by her customers because they believed they could do what they wanted to her. Yeah, that was Emma Swan.

So who in their right mind would believe that Emma stood a chance in court? Emma certainly didn’t. But Regina, David, and James all did. And they were the lawyers, after all. But Emma couldn’t stop the negative thoughts even though the three of them constantly reassured her about the strength of her case. She was a pessimistic person, she knew that. And she had never won, never succeeded, never come out on top because life had never really worked out for Emma. Not until she met Regina. And even that, she knew, could come crashing down in an instant.

Ever since Killian had let on that he knew about Emma’s son, she had debated telling Regina. She wanted to be the one to tell her, after all. But so far she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it. She was, somewhat naively, hoping that Killian wouldn’t bring it up during the trial. After all, she didn’t see what bearing it had on the rape case. The fear, however, was still there.

She jumped when Regina knocked softly on the door a few minutes later. Offering her girlfriend a weak smile, Emma beckoned the brunette in, patting the bed beside her and draping her arm around Regina’s shoulders when she sat down.

“It’s going to be fine,” Regina murmured, resting her head against Emma’s. “Everything is going to go as planned and James is going to do exactly what he says. By the end of the week, Killian Jones will be locked in a cell at Rikers and won’t be breathing fresh air again for years.”

Emma nodded her head but said nothing. She wanted to believe Regina. She really did. But it was hard after a life of disappointment and being let down to trust that anything would work out for the best. She and Regina got ready for bed in silence and snuggled down under the covers. Regina fell asleep quickly, as usual, but Emma lay awake for hours, holding the brunette close to her as her mind worked relentlessly over the trial details until she finally, exhaustively, drifted off.

* * *

“You ok?” Regina asked as they pulled up outside of the courthouse the following morning.

“No,” Emma whispered back, her hands gripping Regina’s almost painfully tightly.

The steps were already filled with reporters and she could see James Nolan waiting at the top, scanning the street for his client. Emma was that client. This was the day when she was finally going to get justice for herself. Regina leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. Emma was glad of the blacked out windows because she needed that contact, that reassurance. She wrapped her hand around the base of Regina’s neck and pulled her in for a longer, deeper kiss, trying to calm herself with the familiar touch.

“I love you,” Regina breathed out when they broke apart.

“I love you too,” Emma nodded.

She kissed Regina once more before opening the door and swinging her legs out onto the sidewalk. Regina followed and together the two of them hurried up the steps, through the pushy crowds of journalists and to the safety of James who ushered them inside and down to a private room at the end of a long, grand corridor.

There they waited for over an hour. Despite Regina’s and James’ assurances that courts always ran behind schedule, Emma couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong. Or perhaps she was hoping something would delay or stop the trial. But soon after ten thirty, an usher came to escort them into the court room where she and Regina sat side by side on one of the benches and James took his place at the desk. The rest of the morning was a blur to Emma. Legal terms were thrown around and James and Hades argued bitterly about trivial pieces of evidence and the formation of the trial. During the lunch break, Regina explained that everything was going as expected and the first pieces of evidence would be presented after the break.

“But we won’t be there for that,” Emma said, remembering what James had said about the way the trial would work. As the victim, and Regina as a witness, they wouldn’t be in the room for other testimonies.

“No,” Regina said. “In fact, we don’t even have to be here. You’re not taking the stand until Wednesday and I’m not scheduled to appear until Thursday so you can go home now if you like. I’ll come too.”

“No, you go to work,” Emma replied. “I’ll be fine here.”

“Honestly Emma, you don’t have to stay here. James can call you later and tell you anything you might need to know.”

Emma bit her lip, looking more like the lost girl Regina had first met on the streets all those months ago than the confident young woman who now lived with her. Regina knew her girlfriend too well. She knew Emma wanted to go home.

“I’ll call Graham and he can come to pick you up here and take you back to the apartment,” she said, slipping out of room to use her cell and leaving Emma alone with her thoughts.

* * *

Tuesday crawled past at a snail’s pace. Emma sat in the penthouse, trying to distract herself from the following day. James called her at lunch time with an update on how the day was progressing. Good, apparently. And August was due to take the stand that afternoon. After lunch, she even got out Regina’s laptop and began typing up one of her Marlo stories she had told Henry the weekend before. Only to distract herself, of course. When Regina returned home from work, she found Emma and Henry hidden within yet another legendary pillow fort. “Literally hiding away from the world?” Regina had asked when she crawled into the space where her two favourite people were nestled, reading a monkey fact book. “Perhaps,” Emma had replied, kissing Regina lightly and pulling the brunette into her arms.

* * *

The drive to the courthouse on Wednesday morning was the longest of Emma’s life. She twisted her hands in her lap, picking at her pale pink nails which she had reluctantly let Regina paint the night before. Slender, tanned fingers laced through hers as they pulled up outside the regal, marble building. Emma took a deep breath and opened her door. Cameras were pushed into her face and clicks and flashes reverberated around her. Regina spat insults at the journalists as she ushered Emma inside as fast as possible.

“I hate them,” she muttered as she and Emma entered the room where James was waiting to escort Emma into the court room.

“How are you feeling?” James asked, looking up from his notes as the two women entered.

Emma didn’t speak. She didn’t trust herself not to throw up if she did. Regina spoke for her, asking the questions she knew Emma wanted the answers to and running through James’ questions one final time.

“And then Hades will get his turn to ask you questions,” James said, his voice soft and reassuring. “But I’ll be ready to jump in as soon as he steps a toe out of line.”

“Me too,” Regina piped up.

James couldn’t help but chuckle. “You and I both know that would be thoroughly unhelpful, Regina. Trust me, I’m going to make sure nothing happens to Emma on that stand. Hades would just risk alienating the jury if he went after her too hard anyway.”

“I don’t trust him,” Regina shrugged. “Emma, just say the word and I’ll step in and we’re leaving. Ok?”

Emma nodded mutely. She knew Regina would do anything in her power to make sure her testimony went as well as it could. She trusted her girlfriend to swoop in and save her at the slightest sign of trouble. But she also trusted her lawyer to do what was best for her. Just as James was about to speak, there was a tap at the door.

“We’re ready for you, Nolan,” said a court official, sticking her head around the doorframe.

“Thanks,” James said. “Shall we get going?”

Emma nodded and stood up. She reached for Regina’s hand and their fingers intertwined at once. Together, the three of them walked down the opulent corridor and into the wood panelled courtroom.

It was packed. Far busier than it had been on Monday. Regina slipped onto a bench and James and Emma continued up to the front. She glanced at the judge, a stern-looking black man who was perusing some papers rather than watching Emma approach. When she climbed into the witness box however, he turned and smiled at her. She felt slightly better. But her stomach was still twisting and contorting in anticipation, uncertainty and apprehension flowing through her veins. Emma glanced at the jury, seven women and five men stared back at her. She blushed and looked away, smoothing down the front of her new dress before the sound of James’ voice made her raise her head once more.

The legal jargon flew over her head again but the next thing Emma knew she was placing her hand on a bible and swearing on a book she didn’t believe in to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

“Emma, can you please tell the jury how you first came to New York City?” James said, smiling at her encouragingly.

“I arrived here just over a year ago. I was … getting away from a bad break-up,” Emma replied.

“And what did you do when you got here?” James asked.

“Looked for work,” she said. “But it was difficult to find anything.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I have a criminal record,” Emma said. James had told her it was best for the jury to hear this from her as soon as possible. Hiding it would only offer it up as ammunition for the defence. “I spent a few months in prison for handling stolen property after an ex framed me whilst he got away.”

“I see,” James nodded. “So, would it be true to say you have bad taste in partners?”

There was a titter from the jury and Emma managed her rehearsed smile. She glanced at Regina before answering.

“I suppose so.”

Regina ducked her head, hiding her smirk. Emma had apologised profusely for what she was going to say in regards to her choice in partners. Her fingers, tongue and lips had been used to assure Regina she was not at all regretting her current decision to date the beautiful brunette.

“So you couldn’t find work. You didn’t know anyone in the city. You had just gotten out of a bad relationship. What did you do?”

“I did what I had to in order to survive.”

“What do you mean by that Emma?”

Emma looked to the jury, as James had told her to. “I did the only thing I could to get money. I had to sell the one commodity I had. Myself.”

“You saw yourself as a commodity?” James asked.

“Yes,” Emma replied. “I had something men wanted and were willing to pay for. I didn’t want to do it but I had no other choice.”

“And how did you meet the defendant, Mr Killian Jones?” James asked, waving his hand to indicate the man whom Emma had so far avoiding looking at.

“He was a customer, I suppose,” Emma said, glancing at the man sitting stonily on the far side of the courtroom, an expensive suit and a fresh shave doing little to hide the cold glint in his eyes. “I think he became one of my regulars in July, until I stopped in November.”

“Why did you stop?”

Emma swallowed. “I was raped by a client. I knew I had to stop what I was doing if I wanted to live.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” James said. “But this rapist isn’t sitting in this court room now, is he?”

“Not from that night, no,” Emma replied.

“So tell me about the night Killian Jones first raped you.”

“Objection.”

Emma’s eyes snapped to Hades as he leapt to his feet. “My client is on trial for attempted rape. Nolan is clearly trying to bias the jury by bringing up past, irrelevant incidents.”

Irrelevant? Emma’s eyes burned with anger as she looked at him but she quickly turned back to James who was apologising to the judge and assuring the jury they could disregard the question.

“So you stopped working as a prostitute last November and yet your relationship with Mr Jones continued?” James amended.

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “He was … well, he was one of my nicer clients at the time and offered to pay me twenty dollars for a weekly meeting. I still needed the money so I agreed. Until February when, well, yeah, until February.”

James smiled at her. Without saying anything, the jury would know exactly why Emma and Killian ceased to meet in February.

“But you ran into Mr Jones at a charitable event in April, correct?”

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “I was attending a function and Mr Jones was there. It was the first time I had seen him again since … February. He was drunk. He forced me to accompany him into a closet near the bathrooms.”

“And you went willingly?”

“No,” Emma said. “I tried to get away.”

“But you didn’t call for help?”

“I was a former prostitute at a fancy charity event,” Emma said. “I didn’t feel I was able to make a scene, not without embarrassing myself and those whom I was with.”

“But you said no?"

“Yes,” Emma replied. “I tried to tell him to let me go but he didn’t. As soon as he closed the door of the closet, I said no. I tried to push him off me but he was too strong.”

“Why didn’t you cry out?”

“He had his hand over my mouth,” Emma replied.

James picked up a small remote from the table and pointed it towards a large screen which flickered to life. Emma gasped. She had never seen the picture so big before.

“This is Exhibit 2.13,” James said to the courtroom at large. “A photograph of the victim’s mouth where you can observe a bruising pattern from a large hand exerting force against her skin. And here,” he clicked again and the image changed, “in Exhibit 2.14 is the victim’s neck. Once again, the outline of fingerprints are seen against Miss Swan’s skin. Emma, why were Mr Jones’ fingers around your neck.”

“He stopped me shouting for help,” Emma said, her eyes sparkling with tears at the memory and the vivid pictures. “I couldn’t breathe when his hand was there. I couldn’t do anything but let it happen.”

“But he didn’t succeed in raping you,” James continued. “What did happen?”

“No, he didn’t rape me that night,” Emma said. “He had … unbuckled his belt and p-pulled out his … his penis.” Emma swallowed thickly and wiped her eyes with a trembling hand.

“Do you need a break?” James asked.

“No, thank you. I’m fine,” Emma said, reaching out to take a sip of the water cup on the stand before her. “Um, yeah. He was about to … rape me, when the door of the closet opened and we were mercifully interrupted.”

“Who by?”

“David Nolan and Regina Mills.”

“And both are testifying tomorrow as to what they saw. What is your relationship to each person?”

“David was introduced to me by Regina and he helped get my parole details transferred from Tallahassee to New York. In fact, he took me to Killian’s office because he’s a parole officer. Or he was.” Emma left it unsaid that Killian had been suspended from his duties. “And Regina is my girlfriend. She’s the one who persuaded me to bring charges against my rapist. She was the one who made me see that I deserved justice and shouldn’t be afraid just because the man who violated me comes from a rich family.”

Emma looked directly into Regina’s eyes as she spoke and saw the brunette quickly wipe a fallen tear from her cheek.

“Girlfriend? So you’re gay?”

“Yes,” Emma nodded turning her attention back to her lawyer.

“So why were you working as a prostitute for men?” James asked.

“It’s much easier to detach when you’re not remotely interested in whoever is with you,” Emma explained. “It was just a job, nothing more. I never wanted to do it. I don’t think anyone ever wants to do it. But I found that if I only … serviced men, I felt somehow like I was keeping my true identity intact. They would never know the real me. They didn’t deserve to know the real me.”

James nodded his understanding. “So after David and Regina found you, what happened?”

“Killian tried to get dressed as fast as possible. He told David I had asked him to come into the closet with him. But everyone knew he was drunk. We could smell it. He still has a drinking problem and he was drunk most of the times when I met him before that night too. Although at the time I didn’t know he was an alcoholic.”

“Objection,” Hades said, jumping to his feet. “Irrelevant.”

“On the contrary,” James said quickly. “I believe the consumption of alcohol to be highly relevant. It lowers inhibitions, makes people reckless, and speaks to the defendant’s character.”

The judge surveyed the two lawyers and then Emma.

“I’ll allow it,” he said, waving his hand towards James who nodded his thanks before turning back to Emma.

“Ok, so Killian said you had wanted to have sex with him in the closet at a fancy charity function. Correct?”

“Yes.”

“But you’re gay?”

“Yes.”

“And in a loving, committed relationship?”

Green eyes met brown. “Yes.”

James flicked through his notes. “The rape kit performed on you that night at the hospital showed semen on the inside of your upper thighs which was a match to the defendant. It also showed slight bruising at the entrance to your vagina. What caused that?”

Emma swallowed. “He tried to force his fingers into me before he used his penis. I didn’t want it. My body didn’t want it. He … he hurt me.”

“Thank you,” James said. “And thank you for taking the stand today, Miss Swan. You’ve been very brave.”

James sat down and turned to watch as Hades got to his feet.

“Miss Swan,” he said in a low drawl. “Thank you for coming here today and reliving what must be a very difficult story. So many details for you to remember and recount. Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions?”

“Go ahead,” Emma said, her eyes slightly narrowed at man now standing mere metres away from her.

“Is it true that you were sent away from several foster homes during your youth for lying, stealing and general dishonesty?”

Emma’s eyebrows rose. She felt the jury’s attention zero in on her reaction and tried to school her features before she answered.

“Yes, but -,”

“And is it also true that you plead not guilt to a crime you were accused and found guilty of and subsequently admitted to?”

“Yes, but -,”

“And is it also true that you made your living selling your body to men and presumably managed to convince them that you enjoyed sex because, let’s face it, you had your regulars and not many people like having sex with someone who isn’t into it?”

“Yes but -,”

“So is it true to say that you’re quite an accomplished liar, Miss Swan?”

Emma balked. “No, I would’t say that.”

“Really?” Hades asked, a menacing glint in his eyes. “Because I do believe you just said that you’ve already lied in court, you were repeatedly found guilty of lying throughout your childhood, and you’re an expert manipulator of men. So tell me, Miss Swan, why should we believe a word you say now?”

“Because I wouldn’t lie about something like this,” Emma protested.

“But you’ve lied in the past?”

“Well, yes but -,”

“No further questions,” Hades said, spinning on his heel and retreating to his desk where he sat beside a smug-looking Killian.

Emma shot a desperate look between James and Regina, both of whom seemed to be thinking hard.

“Redirect, Your Honour,” James said, standing up.

Emma raised her eyebrows again. She didn’t know what question to expect now. They hadn’t rehearsed anything else other than what she had answered earlier.

“Emma. Why are you here today?” James asked, walking up to the witness stand and leaning his forearm on the edge.

“Because I finally have the confidence to speak out about what happened to me,” Emma shrugged. “I didn't want to do this. I didn’t want to be standing up in front of a room of strangers talking about one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I didn’t even want to go and get a rape kit done. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and pretend it never happened. But then I realised that if everyone like me did that, then people like him,” she pointed at Killian, “would continue to get away with rape. I didn’t report it the first time it happened to me. I don’t even know that man’s name. I didn’t report it the first time Killian did it to me,” Hades jumped to his feet but the judge held up a hand, silencing his protests, “but I knew after that day at the charity function I needed to do something. Too many people like me are taken advantage of by too many rich, white men like Killian Jones. Too many people like me don’t speak out because we think the system will fail us. Too many rape victims never disclose because they’re afraid of people not believing them, or they’re afraid of the way they’ll be treated in a courtroom. But I realised it was worth it when I recognised I had a chance to make this city, this country, just a little bit safer.”

“Thank you,” James said, a soft smile on his lips. “No further questions.”

* * *

Once back at the penthouse that afternoon, Emma didn’t eat a bite of the lunch Regina cooked for her. She just sat on the couch and stared blankly at the television.

“It went well,” Regina assured her for the millionth time.

“No it didn’t,” Emma replied. She might not have much experience of court but she knew Hades had done what he needed to. Plant the seed of doubt. Paint her, Emma Swan, as a liar.

“James was right to redirect, and you spoke beautifully,” Regina said. “I was so proud of you up there today, my love, and everyone knew those words came from a place of honesty and truth. The jury will see that, I promise.”

Emma didn’t answer. Instead she just tucked her feet under her body and curled up on the couch. After a moment’s hesitation, Regina sat beside her, pulling Emma into her arms and cradling her against her breast. She didn’t return to the office that afternoon. Nothing in that moment was more important than being there with Emma, and that was exactly where Regina wanted to be.

* * *

If Emma thought Tuesday dragged, then time on Thursday seemed to running backwards. Every sound made her jump and she spent most of the morning staring at the door waiting for Regina to walk through it. She had picked all the nail varnish from her fingernails and was chewing nervously on the edge of her thumb when the sound of a key entering the lock finally reached her ears.

“Why didn’t you call me?” Emma exclaimed before Regina was even though the door. “Did it go badly? Oh God! It did, didn’t it? That’s why you didn’t call. I knew this was a bad idea. I knew -,”

“Emma,” Regina interrupted, stopping her pacing girlfriend and pulling her so they were face to face. “It went great.”

“Really?” Emma breathed out.

“Really,” Regina assured her. “Come on, did you really think I wouldn’t be able to handle myself on the witness stand. And David too. He said his testimony was exactly as he had hoped.”

“So why didn’t you call?”

“Because my battery went flat,” Regina explained. “Henry was playing with it on the way to nursery this morning and I neglected to close all the background apps. That one with the particularly annoying penguin song ran the battery down to two per cent by the time I realised and then I had to testify. I’m sorry you were worried, but I promise you this is going to work out.”

Emma took a deep breath and then collapsed into Regina’s waiting arms, her whole body wracking with sobs and the emotional drain of the week exploded from her. She had never been through anything like it in her life and had no desire to repeat the experience. Regina held her as she cried, rocking her gently and wrapping her arms tightly around her girlfriend. Eventually, they found themselves on the couch, both crying softly but for different reasons.

“What now?” Emma asked. “What happens now.”

“Killian takes the stand this afternoon and then the jury will retire for their verdict. They could be back as early as tomorrow afternoon or it could take a week or more.”

“Is long or short better?”

“Hard to say,” Regina admitted. “And don’t forget, I’m not a criminal lawyer.”

“But what do you think is the better sign?” Emma pushed. She wanted, needed, her girlfriend’s opinion.

“Shorter is usually more definitive,” Regina said. “Either way, really. If they’re sure someone is guilty, it won’t take long. And if there’s a lot of doubters, they’ll also come back quickly. Longer deliberation usually means one more two of the jurors have doubts. And we don’t want doubts.”

“Do you think they’ll have doubts?”

“I don’t have any,” Regina shrugged.

“That’s not what I asked,” Emma said, a little reproachful.

Regina sighed. “Honey, I don’t know what’s going on in their heads. I’m hardly unbiased here, am I? I know I don’t want them to have doubts. And I know I don’t have any doubts. But aside from that, I can’t predict.”

When the phone rang at half past three, Regina untangled herself from Emma’s arms where she had been for almost four hours and answered, putting James on speakerphone at once.

“They’ve retired to consider the verdict,” he said. He sounded tired. Emma wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“How did Killian’s testimony go?” Regina asked.

“I think he’ll be regretting taking the stand,” James said. “He was certainly sweating bullets by the time I finished with him.”

Regina smiled sideways at Emma. She knew James Nolan could be a shark in the courtroom. It was the reason she had hired him to represent Emma.

“How long do you think we’ll have to wait for the verdict?” Emma asked.

“No idea, I’m afraid,” James said. “But I’d like a word with you, in private, if you wouldn’t mind, Emma.”

The blonde took the phone from Regina and clicked the speakerphone off, standing from the couch as she did so.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah,” James said. “I don’t think what I’m about to say will affect the trial. It was just something you hadn’t mentioned which Killian brought it. It’s irrelevant, to be honest, and I don’t think it will matter to the jurors but it is now public record and I wasn’t sure whether Regina knew.”

There was a sinking feeling in Emma’s stomach, her face went white and she leaned back against the hallway wall.

“Phoenix?” she asked in little more than a whisper.

“Yeah,” James nodded. “I guess he had your medical records from when my brother referred you as a parolee. I don’t see why it was relevant and I did say as much. But it’s on the record and I figured since you hadn’t told me, maybe people don’t know?”

“No,” Emma murmured. “They don’t.”

“Then it might be time to tell a certain someone,” James said. “I suppose you want her to hear it from you.”

Emma nodded and then remembered James couldn’t see her. “Yes, thank you for everything James. Is there anything else or -,”

“No, go. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything.”

Emma hung up and walked back into the living room.

“Everything ok?” Regina asked, smiling brightly.

Emma didn’t know how to reply to that. No, everything was not ok but it was probably about to get a whole lot worse. But before she could answer, Regina got up and grabbed her handbag.

“I need to go and get Henry. Do you want to come?”

Emma hadn’t realised how late it had gotten. “No, I’ll stay here and get started on dinner. See you in a bit.”

Regina nodded and kissed Emma lightly before sweeping out into the corridor, calling ‘I love you’ just before the door shut behind her. Emma sank onto the couch once more and put her head in her hands. Everything she knew, everything she loved, could be ripped away from her in just a few short hours. How was Regina ever going to forgive her for abandoning her son? Regina, the woman who adopted someone’s unwanted child and who clearly thought anyone who gave up their own flesh and blood was a monster.

Emma was a monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: leave angry comments about the cliffhanger or your general thoughts on the trial in the box below please …


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the conversation you’ve all been waiting for. Well, some of it …

Henry was blissfully oblivious to what was happening in Emma and Regina’s life. Well, he knew something was worrying the two women but they hadn’t told him what. They had simply given their assurances that everything would be alright. He seemed to buy it. After all, he trusted them. The two women put him to bed as usual that night, sharing the bath time and story telling duties before each woman dropped a kiss to his forehead, a routine they had somehow slipped seamlessly into over the past few months. Neither woman had verbalised what it might mean for their relationship or future together.

Regina then disappeared into her office for a while, needing to catch up on some work emails which she had neglected since the start of the trial. She had apologised but Emma didn’t mind. It prolonged the inevitable conversation she knew they needed to have. Whilst she waited, the blonde sat in front of the television, trying to work out how to tell Regina about her son. There seemed to be no good way and Emma, for the first time ever, felt her heart sink as Regina appeared in the living room an hour later.

“What did James want to talk to you about earlier?” Regina asked as she sat down.

Emma had expected this. The two women told each other everything. Well, except for Emma’s secret. And since Regina didn’t know about that yet, she continued to believe their relationship was completely open and honest. Which is was. Mostly.

“Just something Killian said at the trial,” Emma replied. “He wanted to give me a heads up.”

“Heads up?”

Emma swallowed and reached forward to turn off the television before turning to sit cross-legged on the couch, facing Regina.

“Why did you adopt Henry?”

Regina’s perfect eyebrows raised at the seemingly random question but she answered anyway.

“Well, I told you how much Dani wanted a child which meant I wanted one too because I wanted her to be happy. And since we were both women, the usual means of conception were out of the question.”

“I know that,” Emma said. “But why adoption? Why not use a sperm donor or even a surrogate if neither of you wanted to carry a child. Why adopt?”

Regina thought for a moment. “It was the only option we ever talked about, to be honest. I wasn’t going to go through expensive and unnecessary scientific processes to create a child when there are so many unwanted babies out there.”

“So you wanted to give an abandoned child a good home?”

“I suppose so,” Regina said slowly. “We didn’t really think too much about where he came from though. Once he was in our arms, nothing else mattered. He was our son and that was that.”

“Do you ever think about his birth family?”

“Not really,” Regina replied. “I mean, it was a closed adoption so I have no details on them. There are times when the doctor has asked about his medical history and I wish I knew more. But since Henry is healthy and happy, I see no reason to dwell on the people who gave him up hours after he was born.”

“Do you know why they gave him up?” Emma asked.

“Nope,” Regina replied. “As I said, it was a closed adoption. I don’t know anything about them but I presume they weren’t in a position to take care of a child for whatever reason. I suppose they could had died … but somehow I don’t think they did.”

“How so?”

“Just a feeling,” Regina shrugged. “Why all the questions about Henry and adoption? Are you … I mean, do you want to -,”

She trailed off, unsure quite where her sentence was heading but sure it was far too early in their relationship for whichever jumbled end her brain might have selected.

“No,” Emma said quickly. “I’m not thinking about adopting a child.”

“Oh, good,” Regina said, sighing with relief.

“You don’t want more kids?” Emma asked.

“Not really,” Regina shrugged. “I love Henry but I never imagined being a mother. I’m happy with just the one. Why? Do you?”

“I never thought I’d have kids in my life either,” Emma admitted. “I’m not exactly maternal.”

“I think you’re great with Henry,” Regina said. “In fact, you’re amazing with him. You know that, right?”

Emma said nothing. Instead, she glanced at her cell which had lit up with a text from Mal asking how the trial had gone. She was about to reply when Regina’s fingers covered her own and tugged the phone gently from her grip.

“Emma, what’s going on?” she asked, her eyes wide and pleading for the truth. “Why are you asking about Henry and what did James say to you earlier?”

Emma looked into the concerned and confused face before her and knew the time had come. She had to tell Regina. It was now or never. And by never she meant until Regina read the trial notes and found out from Killian Jones. And that was something she couldn’t allow to happen. Emma herself was going to tell her girlfriend her biggest secret, her greatest regret. She took a deep breath.

“I had a baby.”

There was a heavy silence, the tick-tock from the grandfather clock echoing through the living room as Regina’s eyes opened wider in surprise. Whatever the brunette had been expecting, it wasn’t that. Emma licked her dry lips before continuing.

“I found out I was pregnant just after I arrived in prison. It was Neal’s, although he never knew. I gave birth when I still had four months left of my sentence and I gave my son up for adoption. I … I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t look after him and I had no one on the outside I could trust to do so until I got out. I was barely eighteen and scared and alone. I didn’t want to do it, Regina. And I regretted it every day ever since. I -,”

“You gave up your baby?” Regina interrupted.

Emma nodded, her eyes sparkling with tears at the look on Regina’s face. It was unreadable. She could always tell what Regina was thinking, so why not now? Fear gripped her at what that might mean. 

“He was adopted? That’s why you were asking about my decision to adopt?”

“I hope he was adopted,” Emma said. “To be honest, I don’t know. I mean, I was adopted for the first couple of years of my life and then I was sent back to the system and became a foster kid. Who’s to say the same thing hasn’t happened to my son? Who’s to say I haven’t condemned him to the same fucked up childhood I had.”

“And you thought I’d be, what, mad at you?” Regina asked.

Emma squirmed at the tone in which her girlfriend spoke. It was something like disbelief, but at what, Emma wasn’t sure.

“How could you not be?” Emma asked. “Come on, Regina. You’re this amazing mother who literally rescued a baby from someone like me. Someone who isn’t worthy of their child, who doesn’t deserve the unconditional love of their son. How could you possibly not be angry about what I did? I did it and I hate myself every day for that decision. How could you not do the same?”

Regina thought for a moment before replying. She realised she needed to explain a little more about her own reasons for adopting and her subsequent understanding of parenthood before she could begin to make Emma believe what she was saying.

“Dani and I adopted because we wanted to give Henry a good life. We knew we could provide for him and although things didn’t work out as we had planned, I believe he is happy and content now. We didn’t think much about his birth parents because we didn’t care about their reasons for giving him up. It didn’t matter why he needed to be adopted, just that we were able to provide him with a happy, loving home. Emma, you weren’t able to provide your son with that at the time, right?”

“Right,” Emma nodded. 

“So you gave him away, why?”

“To give him his best chance, but -,”

“So you did what any mother would do,” Regina interrupted. “You did what was best for your child. You thought selflessly about what that baby needed and knew you couldn’t provide it. I’m not saying you hadn’t made mistakes. Condoms might have been an idea along with not getting arrested with stolen property, but giving up your child wasn’t a mistake. Not under the circumstances.”

“Really?” Emma asked, tears now flowing down her cheeks.

Regina reached over and cupped the blonde’s face, the pads of her thumbs wiping away the salty streaks of sadness. 

“Emma, I know you had a shit childhood. And I know the system didn’t work well for you. But most of the time they get things right. Most of the time babies get adopted and live happily, just like Henry. Odds are, your son is out there somewhere, in a family who loves him and can provide for him in a way you couldn’t at the time. You did nothing wrong, Emma. You did the only thing a mother could do. You were strong enough to overpower your maternal love for your child and do the right thing.”

Emma let out a ragged sob. “You don’t hate me?”

“Hate you?” Regina frowned. “Honey, of course I don’t hate you. I love you and the fact that you gave a child up for adoption hasn’t changed that. Did you think it would?”

Emma nodded. “I thought you’d think I was a terrible human being. I thought you’d see me as a monster who gave up a baby. I mean, don’t you hate the woman who gave up Henry?”

“No,” Regina frowned. “I feel many things towards his birth mother but not hatred.”

“What things?”

Regina cocked her head to one side in thought. “I feel grateful, mostly. Grateful she gave me the chance to have Henry in my life. I feel grateful her decision to give Henry up made Dani so blissfully happy for those six short weeks. I suppose I feel a little curious as to why she gave him up in the first place. What were her circumstances? Where is she now? But I also feel sad for her because she’ll never know what a fantastic little boy her son had grown up to be.”

“You pity her? Do you pity me too then?” Emma asked.

That word had always stung. She wasn’t sure why but it had. She had been pitied far too much in her life and she didn’t want to feel that from Regina. Not again.

“I don’t pity your decision,” Regina said, trying to chose the right words. “But I think it’s a shame you’ll never know your son. I feel sad for you in the way I feel sad for Henry’s mother. But I wouldn’t call it pity. I just think it’s a shame.”

“A shame?”

“Yeah.”

“That seems like to blasé of a word to describe your feelings towards a woman who abandoned her son,” Emma said, her gaze falling to her lap where her hands were knotted together.

Regina tangled her fingers with Emma’s and waited until the green eyes met hers again.

“Emma, I think this conversation is less about you wanting to know what I think about this decision you made, what five years ago? And more to do how you feel about giving your son up. If you were looking for me to forgive something you did long before we even met, then of course I forgive you. To be honest, I don’t think there’s anything to forgive. The question really is; have you forgiven yourself?” 

Emma’s bottom lip trembled and she bit it hard to try and stop it. Regina’s heart broke as she watched the pain contort Emma’s beautiful features. She pulled the blonde into her arms and hugged her closely, the slim frame trembling against her. She stroked Emma’s long hair and murmured soothing words of love into her ear until the blonde finally quietened, curled up on Regina’s lap and wiping her face.

“I hate myself for giving him away,” Emma said. “I know it was the right thing to do but I still hate that I wasn’t able to keep him. And then sometimes I wish Neal and I had just been a bit more careful. But then that’s like wishing he never existed. And that’s wrong too so I hate myself even more. I hate that I was in that position in the first place, I guess. I was alone, as usual, and had no options available to me. I didn’t want that for my son so yeah, I gave him up. I pray every day that he found the family he deserves but I’ll never know and for the rest of my life I’ll be wondering. It will haunt me forever, not knowing.”

“It was a closed adoption too?” Regina asked.

Emma nodded. “I didn’t want him to know what a failure his mother was,” she said. “Even if I might have wanted to find him some way down the line, I didn’t want him to be able to find me. I didn’t want him to know how I fucked up my life and screwed up the first few hours of his.”

“Have you tried to find him?” Regina said. “I know you said you’d been trying to track down your birth parents for a while.”

“There’s nothing to go on,” Emma sighed. “I mean, I don’t even know where they took him after I gave birth. Whether it was an agency or a government body, nothing. I have a date of birth and that’s it. I stopped looking even before I left Tallahassee. And as for my parents, I’ve stopped searching for them too since I moved in here.”

“Why?” Regina asked.

“Because I don’t need them any more,” Emma shrugged. “I have two people I consider family now. You and Henry. You’re all I need. I don’t want the people who abandoned me twenty-two years ago.”

“Almost twenty-three,” Regina pointed out.

Emma blinked. What with everything that had been going on, she had almost forgotten her birthday that coming Sunday. She wondered briefly if Regina had anything planned. She wasn’t feeling much like celebrating.

“Right, yeah. Well, however long ago it was, I don’t need them. And I doubt my son needs me. In fact, I hope he doesn’t need me,” Emma finished.

“Do you need him?” 

Emma bit her lip again. “I’d like to know he’s ok,” she said after a pause. “I don’t need to be in his life. I just want to know he's safe and happy.”

Regina nodded quietly and said nothing. She was thinking but didn’t want to verbalise the direction in which her mind was heading. Emma appeared not to notice her distraction.

“That was what James wanted to tell me, by the way.”

“That you had a son?” Regina frowned, confused.

“No, that Killian brought it up at trial.”

“How did he known?” Regina asked, anger flaring inside of her at the knowledge that her girlfriend’s rapist knew something so private and personal about Emma.

“It’s in my parole file,” Emma shrugged. “To be honest I’d forgotten about that or I would probably have wrestled it out of your hands when I saw you with it.”

“I never looked at your medical records,” Regina said. It even hadn’t occurred to her that they were in there. And if it had, she probably wouldn’t have looked, seeing it as an invasion of privacy on some level. 

“Well I’m glad,” Emma said. “I wanted to be the one to tell you. Which is why James was calling me. He figured you didn’t know and thought I might want a chance to talk to you before the court records go public.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before now?” Regina asked. “I mean, what did you think would happen?”

“I thought the worst, as usual. Because bad things do seem to happen to me, let’s be honest. So I guess I thought you’d realise I was some monstrous woman who abandoned her own baby and left him for someone wonderful like you to care for because I couldn’t be bothered to get my life straight. I thought you’d hate me for doing to my kid what someone did to Henry. I thought … I guess I thought things would be over between us.”

Regina brushed the tear-dampened hair from Emma’s cheek and bent to kiss the flushed skin. 

“Darling, I’m not going anywhere. No matter what you’ve done in the past. No matter what happens, with this trial or anything else in our future, I’m in this one hundred percent. I love you, Emma Swan, mistakes, regrets, difficult histories and all.”

“I love you too,” Emma said, turning in Regina’s lap and reaching up to pull the plump lips down to her own mouth.

The kiss was delicate and soft, everything both women needed to convey and receive their love. Neither had been in a relationship quite like it before. It was difficult and complicated, certainly, but it was also the most rewarding, loving, and addictive either had experienced, their chemistry and desire only heightening each day.

Before Emma could deepen the kiss, Regina pulled away. The blonde pouted slightly but melted at the soft smile on her girlfriend’s face. Concern, adoration, devotion, and unadulterated love shining down on her. 

“We should head to bed,” Regina said. “It’s been a very, very long day.”

As she spoke, Emma felt a wave of exhaustion wash over her. The entire week had been one of the most difficult of her life and to cap it off with that conversation had almost worn her out. She nodded and got to her feet, pulling Regina up and leading the way to their bedroom. Once under the light summer covers, their bodies gravitated closer and, despite the warmth of the June night, they snuggled into each other’s arms.

“I’m so proud of you, Emma,” came Regina’s whispered voice into the darkness minutes later.

“And I’m grateful to you,” Emma replied. “How did I get so lucky to have an intelligent, understanding, beautiful, and compassionate girlfriend?”

“You didn’t get lucky, Emma,” Regina murmured. “You were just you.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks once again for all the reviews and kudos (kudoses?). I’m so sorry I’ve not been replying to your comments much - work has been mental! But they’re all read and appreciated.

Doubt. That’s what Emma Swan had done. She had doubted everything and everyone in her life. She had doubted her own decisions, painfully made all those years ago. She had doubted Regina’s compassion and ability to love. And she had doubted the strength of their relationship.

She needn’t have doubted. And as she was lazily roused from sleep with a teasing tongue tracing the shell of her earlobe on Sunday morning, she wondered how on earth she could ever not have had faith in the woman curled against her side.

“Happy birthday,” Regina husked as Emma’s green eyes blinked open.

“What time is it?” Emma mumbled, stifling a yawn into her pillow.

“We have time before Henry makes an appearance,” Regina said, her fingers suddenly toying with the elastic band of Emma’s underwear.

Emma smirked and brought her lips to Regina’s, ignoring the slightly stale morning breath and kissing her tenderly. Regina rolled herself onto Emma and allowed her hand to dip beneath the cotton encasing Emma’s sex.

It had been three days since the closing arguments of Emma’s trial had been delivered and both women had been nervously waiting three days for the result. It was an anxious time but they were trying not to dwell too much and carry on their lives as normally as possible. Which, for them, included sex.

But as it turned out, they didn’t have as much time as Regina anticipated and the thundering sound of Henry racing down the hall interrupted the women five minutes later. Flushed and breathless, they broke apart just in time for the door to be thrown open and a flurry of four year old to propel himself into their midst.

“Happy birthday Emma!” Henry shouted, jumping up and down on the bed, completely oblivious to what he had interrupted.

“Thanks, kid,” Emma said, smiling up at the boy who was clearly far more excited about her birthday than she was.

She had never been much for celebrating. She had lost count of the number of birthdays which went by without anyone acknowledging them. Foster families had so many children come and go that trivial things like dates of birth were rarely remembered. Even when she was with Lily, neither of them had been particularly bothered about marking the occasion. Emma could already tell, however, that birthdays in the Mills family were a big deal.

“Here’s your present!” Henry said, thrusting a badly wrapped parcel into her hands.

Emma made a show of pretending to guess what it was before she ripped off the paper and found herself holding a soft toy monkey, very similar to Marlo.

“Wow, Henry. Thanks!” Emma said. “He’s great. I’m going to sleep next to him every night.” She glanced sideways at Regina, who was scowling, and winked. “What’s his name?”

“You name him,” Henry replied. “But I think it should be something beginning with M. Because monkey begins with an M.”

Emma thought for a moment before she smiled. “What about Marcus?”

Henry beamed at the suggestion and bounced up and down, nodding his agreement, his arms flailing wildly. Both Regina and Emma hastily rolled out of the way as the little feet landed dangerously close to their own bodies.

“Come on,” Henry said, sitting down on the bed but still bouncing. “Let’s go and make pancakes!”

“Pancakes?” Emma asked.

“Only the best for the birthday girl,” Regina said, leaning over and kissing Emma lightly before she swung her legs out of bed and walked into the ensuite. After a little more chiding from Henry, Emma followed and within fifteen minutes she was sitting at the kitchen island, a mug of coffee in her hands and Marcus propped against the vase of flowers Regina had gifted her. Henry already had batter in his hair and Regina’s apron was spattered with egg but no one seemed to mind. Laughter filled the kitchen as the three of them enjoyed each other’s company and momentarily forgot about everything else in their lives.

* * *

Regina had never been one for surprises before she met Emma but she had become a convert, not least because of how much it annoyed Emma when she refused to tell the blonde their plans. So she simply smiled as Emma grumbled in the passenger seat beside her as they sped out of the city. It felt good to be driving again. The Mercedes she kept in the underground parking garage was rarely used and she relished the light vibrations through her fingers as she drove them carefully along a wide open road. The day was warm so she had taken down the roof once they got out of the city and the wind whipped her hair, reminding her she needed to get it cut. Henry was chattering away in the back seat, holding Marlo up to the window and showing him the countryside flashing by.

“Just one clue,” Emma whined, turning to Regina once more. “Come on, it is my birthday.”

“Nope!” Regina laughed. “But we’re nearly there so please don’t implode with impatience in the next five minutes.”

Emma huffed loudly and returned to looking out of the window, trying to work out where on earth they were and where they could be heading. It didn’t seem like they were anywhere near an attraction. The sound of the indicator clicking made Emma look around but all she could see was an old wooden sign, the paint peeling so badly she couldn’t decipher what it might have once said. Regina turned the car onto an unpaved track, the jolts and bumps perfectly absorbed by the high quality suspension.

“Mama, are we going to -,”

“Shhhh,” Regina said in a mock whisper. “It’s a surprise, remember?”

“No, Henry. Tell me! If you know where we’re going, please tell me, kiddo. It’s my birthday,” Emma said, twisting around in her seat and looking pleadingly at him.

“Mama said not to though,” Henry frowned, clearly torn between requests from his two favourite women.

“Well you’re about to find out anyway,” Regina said as she turned off the track and pulled into a small parking lot, almost empty of other cars, and gently brought the Mercedes to a stop.

Emma looked out of the window. All she could see were some farm buildings and what looked like an old, run-down café. Beyond the farmyard, a hill sloped upwards, the bright green grass waving lightly in the wind and a little group of trees perched on the top.

“Where are we?” Emma asked, still stumped.

Regina turned and winked at Henry, their secret signal which meant he was allowed to tell Emma.

“The petting zoo!” he exclaimed. “We came here last summer and I got to hold a ferret and a turtle and a parrot.”

“A petting zoo?” Emma asked, not quite sure what the correct reaction to being brought to a child’s attraction for her birthday was.

“The ferrets and parrots are for Henry,” Regina said. “They,” she pointed out of the window towards the hill, “are for you.”

Emma followed the line of Regina’s finger, shielding her eyes against the bright sunlight. As she watched the grassy bank, she suddenly spotted movement. A flash of light brown, bouncing up from behind a tussock, before it disappeared again.

“Rabbits?” Emma asked, turning back to Regina.

“Your very own Watership Down,” the brunette smiled. “Only this one’s called Cedar Ridge. Those trees over there are white cedars and they gave the hill its name. We’ll walk up to them later but I think right now someone,” she jerked her head towards the back seat, “wants to pet some little furry creatures.”

Emma laughed and nodded. She got out of the car and opened Henry’s door, unbuckling him and helping him out and into the yard. As soon as his feet touched the ground, he was off towards an open barn. Just as he reached the shadow cast by the building a figure appeared in the doorway. Henry faltered in his step and stopped, waiting for Emma and Regina to come up behind him.

“Good morning,” the woman said as she walked forwards, holding out her hand for Henry to shake. “I’m Susie. What’s your name?”

“Henry,” came the timid response as he gingerly shook Susie's hand.

“It’s very nice to meet you Henry,” Susie said. “Did you moms bring you here to meet some animals?”

Henry nodded again and Regina stepped forwards. “Hi, I’m Regina and this is Emma. We came here last summer too and Henry loved it.”

“Oh really?” Susie said. “I don’t remember you. Sorry! We were a lot busier back then but business has been pretty slow recently.”

“I can see that,” Regina said, looking around the quiet parking lot. “Are we the only ones here?”

“There’s another family visiting too,” Susie said. “But quiet is good, isn’t it Henry? It means you get even longer holding the animals!”

Henry nodded enthusiastically at this and turned to look at Regina.

“Mama, can we go to see the ferrets first?”

“Of course,” Regina nodded. “Can you remember where they are or do you want Susie to show you?”

Without further prompting, Susie held out her hand and Henry took it. The two of them set off around the corner of the barn and Emma and Regina followed, also hand in hand.

* * *

It quickly became apparent that Henry and Susie got on very well. Emma wasn’t sure whether it was the fact that the woman had a ferret on either shoulder and one on her head or the fact that the turtles all came to her when she whistled that impressed Henry but she didn’t mind one bit. Not when Regina suggested Henry hang around with Susie whilst she and Emma wandered up Cedar Ridge and looked at the wild rabbits.

They climbed slowly up the hill, enjoying the peace and quiet of the countryside which neither woman experienced as much as they would have liked to. At the top, they reached the shade of the copse of cedar trees. Turning, they surveyed the sweeping valley before them, stretching into the distance where the grey silhouette of New York was barely decipherable. Closing her eyes Emma took a deep breath of fresh air and sighed. This, she thought, was exactly what she needed after the week she’d had. When she opened her eyes, she found Regina holding up her index finger and frowning.

“What are you doing?” Emma asked, thoroughly confused.

“Checking the wind direction,” Regina said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She licked her finger again and held it up. “We need to be downwind if we want to see some rabbits.”

On the climb up they had passed several rabbit holes, clustered together telling Emma their warren was beneath the surface. Already her mind had begun to imagine Hazel and Fiver, Blackberry and Bigwig, gathering in their runs to form plans and tell stories. She knew it was all fantasy, but she liked it anyway.

“This way,” Regina said, taking Emma’s hand and stepping carefully down the side of the hill until they reached a scruffy patch of grass about twenty feet from a rabbit hole.

“What were you doing with your finger?” Emma asked as they sat down.

“The wind dries your finger on the side it’s blowing,” Regina explained. “If the rabbits smell us, they won’t come out.”

“Did you learn that at Yale?” Emma asked.

Regina laughed. “No, horse riding,” she replied. “I spent a lot of time in the countryside when I was young and that was one of the little things I picked up, I suppose.”

“You’re weird,” Emma remarked. “But I love you.”

“Good, because I love you too,” Regina said, reaching into the pocket of her jeans and removing, with difficulty, the small flat box which had been stowed there. She handed it over and waited for Emma to open it.

The blonde stroked the velvet lid of the box and smiled at her girlfriend before cracking it open and peering inside. A white gold swan pendant lay on a plush red cushion, the sunlight glinting off its diamond eye. Emma gasped as she took in its delicacy and beauty, her finger brushing against the swan’s head before she lifted it off the backing and held it up. It swung to and fro on her finger, the sunlight refracting from the precious stone.

“You like it?” Regina asked, a little nervously.

“Are you kidding? I love it!” Emma exclaimed. “It’s beautiful, Regina, thank you.”

Regina grinned widely and gestured to offer her help in putting it on Emma. She fastened it beneath Emma’s long blonde hair and then pressed a kiss to the exposed nape of her neck.

“Thank you,” Emma said again when she turned around and kissed Regina’s lips. “I love it.”

They fell into a comfortable and necessary silence, occasionally glancing at the rabbit hole and then looking out over the spectacular view before them. Emma lay back against the side of the ridge after a while, her arms behind her head as she watched the few clouds skitter their way over a baby blue sky. Birds swooped through the air, catching insects in their beaks and calling to each other. A grasshopper sprung onto Regina’s knee, contemplated the denim for a moment, and then leapt off again. Emma could hear the buzzing of a bee nearby. She closed her eyes.

It had been five months almost to the day that she had met Regina. Although, she couldn’t really consider their first encounter to be a meeting. But it had been the day her life had changed forever. Had she known it at the time? Perhaps. There was certainly something about the little boy crouched in front of her and his striking brunette mother which resonated deep within her. She had thought at the time it was just Regina’s beauty but now she believed it was something more. When the two of them were together, everything just made sense. Even when everything else in her life was falling apart, Regina was still there. She was solid ground. Emma knew she couldn’t have gotten through the trial without her. In fact, there wouldn’t even have been a trial without Regina there to encourage Emma to seek justice.

Regina’s finger jabbing her in the side brought Emma back to where she was. Opening her eyes, she turned her head to see what Regina was pointing at. A quivering nose was just visible at the edge of the nearest hole. As they watched, it moved forwards, two beady eyes coming into view. Emma’s face split into a wide grin. The rabbit hopped out onto the bare ground in front of the burrow entrance and scratched its ear with its hind leg. It blinked rapidly at the bright sunlight and then hopped a little way away and began to graze at a patch of grass. Seconds later, a smaller rabbit bounded out of the same hole and headed down the bank, searching, presumably, for a tasty snack. Soon, more rabbits joined the first two, completely oblivious to the women watching from a distance. They nibbled and scratched, played and lay in the sun for almost twenty minutes when suddenly they scattered, disappearing down the holes in seconds.

“What happened?” Regina frowned.

Emma said nothing and instead pointed into the sky where a large bird of prey was circling.

“One of them must have spotted it,” she mused. “Good job too or my birthday would have been ruined.”

“How is your birthday going?” Regina asked. She had debated where to take Emma for weeks and hoped she made the right decision in the end.

“The best of my life,” Emma replied sincerely. “Although I think we ought to get back to Henry and Susie soon. I want to celebrate with him too.”

The women stood and began to make their way down the hill. Emma toyed with her new necklace, the smooth metal feeling warm and comforting against her skin. Regina was a little way behind her, taking in the nature surrounding them.

“Do you know what cedar trees stand for?” Regina asked as they walked.

“Because if they didn’t stand they’d fall over?” Emma said, laughing at her own joke.

Regina rolled her eyes. “No, do you know what they mean?”

“I thought flowers meant something,” Emma frowned.

“Trees do too,” Regina said.

“Oh really?” Emma said. “That’s news to me. Come on then, what do white cedar trees mean?”

“Healing, cleansing, and protection,” Regina reeled off.

Emma considered the three words for a moment. “Is that why you brought me here?”

Regina shook her head. In fact, she hadn’t even been aware of the meaning of cedar trees until she was looking up the petting zoo to check it was still there. It had only been as an afterthought that she had googled the symbolism.

“I bought you here because I thought you’d like it,” she said. “But I suppose it is fitting. We can begin to heal after this trial, Emma. You can begin to heal. You can cleanse your life of what came before and focus on the future. Nothing that happened before I met you matters to me, ok? You need to begin to forgive yourself for your choices and instead concentrate on the here and now.”

“And the protection?”

“I’m the one who’s going to protect you for the rest of your life,” Regina said simply. “You’ll never have to make another decision like the one you made in prison alone. You never have to question whether I have your back. Because I do, Emma. Always. I’ll protect you from everything life might throw at us. And when we can’t avoid the bad things, at least we’ll be facing them together.”

Emma stopped walking and wrapped her arms tightly around Regina. The brunette hugged her back, feeling the strong pulse of Emma’s heart against her chest. They stayed embracing each other for a long time until Henry’s shouts met their ears.

“Mama? Emma? What are you doing?”

“Coming Henry,” Regina called back.

“I petted a gimmy pig!”

“A what?” Emma muttered into Regina’s ear as she opened the gate and stood back to let the brunette pass back into the farmyard.

“A guinea pig, I believe,” Regina chuckled. “Oh god, he’s going to want a pet isn’t he.”

“Yup,” Emma nodded. “And I, for one, would be all for it. Can we get a puppy?”

Regina shot her such a scary look that Emma didn’t dare repeat what she had said when they joined Henry and Susie seconds later.

* * *

By the time they had driven home, ordered from Emma’s favourite pizza restaurant and cut the cake Regina had baked in the middle of the night without the blonde’s knowledge, Henry was exhausted. He didn’t even fuss about his bath, which was a good thing because the odour of ferret was distinctive and rather unpleasant. Once tucked up in bed, he mumbled a sleepy ‘happy birthday’ to Emma before he slipped into a deep slumber.

Emma had more trouble falling asleep when she and Regina finally stopped making love hours later. She had enjoyed her birthday immensely and had even managed to forget the looming verdict of her court trial for some of it. But as she lay there in the dark room, the air felt overly stuffy and oppressive. She threw back the covers and lay in just her tank top and underwear, trying to cool down and get comfortable enough to sleep. But she knew the summer night air wasn’t really the problem. Tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, she would find out if Killian Jones got what he deserved. If he was found guilty, the heavy weight which had settled around her from the moment she met him in the parole office would be lifted. She would be free. She could move on. If he was acquitted, she didn’t know what would happen next.

Regina snuffled in her sleep beside Emma and her slender hand extended towards the blonde, seeking contact with her lover.

Emma smiled and her fingers drifted up to her chest where her swan pendant lay. She amended her previous thought. She might not know what would happen if Killian walked free but the one thing she did know was that Regina would be by her side every step of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’ve managed to quickly put this together for you but I have an insanely busy weekend with work coming up so I’m afraid there won’t be another chapter until Monday at the earliest. Apologies but sometimes real life gets in the way of fan fiction writing.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delays my lovely readers. I worked thirty hours this weekend and am now back teaching full-time as well, so if this chapter is non-sensical, that would be why! Also, there’s a very important A/N at the bottom of this …

"You know you don't have to go to work today if you're not feeling up to it. Mal said you could take as long as you like, right?" Regina said as she put on her heels and fluffed her hair.

"I know but I want to keep busy. I can always leave when James calls and be at the courthouse within half an hour," Emma replied from her position still snuggled beneath the duvet.

It was Monday morning and Regina was getting ready to leave for work and dropping Henry off at nursery. She had insisted the blonde stay in bed and rest and if she had her way, Emma wouldn't be working until the trial verdict was delivered. But Regina knew better than to try and force her girlfriend to stay put. The only reason Emma was still in bed was because Regina had served her breakfast there. She was trying hard not to think about the toast crumbs now doubtless lurking on her sheets.

"I'll be there as soon as I can too," Regina assured. “I don’t have many meetings scheduled this week and Mary Margaret is aware that I might disappear at any moment. The court is only a few blocks from the office.”

"Do you think they'll come back with a verdict today?" The hope in Emma's voice was unmistakable. She wanted, needed, the jury's decision so she could begin to … move on with her life? To be honest, Emma wasn’t quite sure what would happen after twelve strangers decided whether Killian Jones had really tried to rape her. Something would change, right? She wouldn’t keep feeling like a victim forever, would she?

"Hard to say," Regina admitted. "They'll all have had the weekend to independently think over their positions and hopefully that will offer them some clarity. We're just waiting now to see whether they're too divided to be able to reach a unanimous verdict."

Emma nodded her understanding and rolled onto her back, staring up at the white ceiling above her and thinking. Less than a minute later, the bed dipped beside her and Regina's face appeared overhead. She smiled down at the blonde and bent to kiss her lips softly.

"I love you," Regina murmured as she pulled away. "Call me if you need anything."

* * *

Emma was glad she had gone to work when she arrived that afternoon. Mal and Ursula were busy sorting through sheafs of paperwork as five new children were due to start the youth centre and her two colleagues needed Emma’s help. Feeling needed distracted the blonde from her churning thoughts and kept her from going crazy thinking about what the jury could possibly be discussing.

"A new foster family just moved into the area," Mal explained as she handed Emma some files to read through. "The mother seemed really nice and she's keen to get her eldest kids here every day because she’s going to be kept busy with the younger ones."

"How many kids has the family got?" Emma asked. Foster families were often large but a couple rarely took on more than half a dozen at once.

"Seven I think," Mal replied. "Three girls and two boys will be joining us today. The mom is coming down with them and making sure they settle in ok. One of the boys is close in age to Felix so I'm hoping they'll get on well. Would you mind introducing them?”

Felix had undeniably made progress since Emma arrived at the centre but he was still introverted and shy when it came to the other children. He spent most of his time with Emma, despite the blonde trying to encourage his friendship with those is own age. When interacting with other children, Felix struggled to maintain eye contact and rarely spoke, even when asked a direct question. Although he had a long way to go, Emma was just pleased Felix was still at the centre and hadn’t followed in his older brother’s footsteps and ended up on the streets.

Emma spent the rest of her time before the children arrived reading up on the new kids, their histories in the system, their likes and dislikes, and considering ways in which the centre could best help them. Despite ending up in the system, Emma could tell these children had one thing on their side; foster parents who cared. When Ashley Boyd arrived at the youth centre that afternoon, she was far younger than Emma expected. Her long blonde hair was scraped back into a pony tail, a toddler was balanced on her hip and a little boy clutched her hand nervously. She introduced her older children and then chatted to Ursula about one of the girl's allergy to peanuts. Emma watched as the new children meandered into the room and looked around. Felix watched too, peering out from behind Emma.

"Hi, you must be Mathew," Emma said as a dark haired boy passed her.

"Yes," came the meek reply.

Although Mathew’s file said he was twelve, like Felix, he was rather small for his age, also like Felix. His dark hair contrasted starkly to his pale face but his eyes were a deep, rich brown and his lips twitched upwards into a smile as he glanced between Emma and Felix.

"Nice to meet you," Emma said. "I'm Emma and this," she reached behind her and tugged lightly on a skinny arm, "is Felix. You guys are the same age."

"Hi," said Mathew, with a nod of his head.

"Hi," Felix replied, his eyes fixed firmly on the floor.

Emma paused, waiting for something more but when nothing changed, she spoke again. "Felix, why don't you show Mathew that new card game we learnt a couple of weeks ago?" she suggested, knowing Felix loved playing cards when he had the upper hand, such as knowing the rules to a complicated game better.

"Ok," Felix nodded, turning and leading the way through the room to the small table where he and Emma often sat and played _rummy_ or _snap_ or _beggar my neighbour_. Mathew followed and Emma smiled, turning her attention to a younger sister of the new family who was running her finger over the spines of some books in the library corner.

"You like to read?" Emma asked Grace, crouching down beside the red-head and pulling out a book. “Let’s go and sit on that cushion over there and we can find out what adventure Jack gets up to today!”

* * *

By Wednesday, even her work at the youth centre wasn't able to distract Emma from the stony silence from the court house. Every afternoon she had spoken to James who assured her everything was going to be ok. Regina too told her to stay positive but it was difficult. The length of time the jury was out told her that, at best, one of the jurors had serious doubts about her story. At worst, of course, eleven people doubted her. However many were holding out on making a decision, they didn't believe her. They didn't think she was telling the truth. They thought Killian Jones was innocent.

Emma had lost five games in a row playing cards with Mathew, his younger brother Terry, and Felix before Mal tapped her on the shoulder and beckoned her to follow. She dropped her cards and clambered to her feet, assuring the boys she’d be back in a bit. As she walked away, Felix gathered the cards and re-dealt, instructing his two new acquaintances that they were going to play a different game now. He might be bossy, Emma thought, but at least he’s speaking.

"What's up?" Emma asked as she stepped into Mal’s small office and closed the door.

"Telephone," Mal replied, handing out the landline to the blonde with a serious look on her face.

Wondering who would call the youth centre rather than her mobile, Emma took the receiver. As she did so, she patted her jeans and realising her cell phone wasn't there. Presumably that was why they were calling her directly at work. And somehow, Emma knew exactly who was on the other end of the phone.

"Hello?"

"Emma, it's James."

The young woman sank into a chair at the sound of his voice. She knew what he was about to say. Her heart beat faster in her chest and her palms suddenly felt sweaty. Wiping them on her jeans, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"They're back?"

"They're back," James confirmed. "Can you get down here now?"

Emma glanced up at Mal and raised an eyebrow in question. The older blonde nodded at once.

"Yeah," Emma said. "I should be there in twenty minutes."

"Do you want me to call Regina too?"

"No, I'll do it. Thanks," Emma said before hanging up the call and getting to her feet.

"Good luck," Mal called after her as she darted out of the office and towards the front door.

* * *

When Emma arrived in the courthouse, Regina was waiting for her, pacing back and forth on the top of the grand staircase. As soon as she saw the blonde, she rushed to her and hugged her tightly. Emma hugged her back, breathing in Regina's familiar, comforting scent. It was going to be ok. Whatever happened it was going to be ok because she had Regina.

They entered the packed courtroom together, James was already sat at his desk, as was Hades. The jury too were in position. Several of them glanced at Emma as she entered and then looked to where Killian was lounging beside his lawyer. Their expressions were unreadable. Regina and Emma sat down behind James, alongside the lead detective on the case. Seconds later, the arrival of the judge was announced and everyone fell silent.

Once more, legal jargon flew around the room and Emma understood very little. She didn't care, however, because she knew she would be aware when the time came for the jury to speak. When at last the representative of the twelve men and women was asked to stand, Emma's eyes snapped to him. He was a small man, his receding hairline, beady eyes, and paunchy stomach making him a rather unattractive person. Emma was staring only at his mouth, however, watching in almost slow motion as his lips moved, confirming that they had reached an unanimous verdict.

"Very well," the judge said, his voice sounding to Emma as if he was far, far away. "On the sole count of attempted rape, how do you find the defendant?"

Regina's fingers laced between Emma's and squeezed. Emma closed her eyes.

"We find the defendant guilty."

Emma's eyes snapped open, her jaw dropping as she stared at the jury, several of whom smiled slightly at her. Regina's fingers squeezed hers even tighter and James turned with a wide grin on his face. Stunned, Emma ignored the tears sliding down her cheeks and turned her face towards Killian.

She couldn't see him at first as Hades was leaning towards his, whispering rapidly in his client's ear. But when he sat back, Emma could see the previously cocky-looking man was ashen, his eyes nervous. As she watched, he glanced at her. Emma didn't look away until he did, at which point she turned her attention to the judge who was speaking.

"... thanks you for your service. You are free to go. And now the defendant may rise." Killian got to his feet, trying to stand tall and look somewhat distinguished. He failed in every respect. Emma thought he could see his balled fists trembling in fear. "Mr Jones you will remanded to Rikers where you will await sentences for the crime of which you have been found guilty. Court is dismissed."

The gavel struck and Regina threw her arms around Emma. The blonde hugged her back but she was watching as Killian was led out of the courtroom, not letting her gaze waver until he had disappeared. James appeared in her line of vision, his hand landing on her shoulder and squeezing.

"You did it," Emma said, smiling up at him through her tears.

"We did it," James corrected her. "That man is going away for a long, long time thanks to you and your bravery, Emma."

"And there's no way he can wriggle out of it?" Emma asked.

"He could appeal but I don't think he will," James replied. "He won't have any money for one."

"What do you mean?" Regina frowned. “His family could afford a thousand top quality defence attorneys.”

"Jones Senior was at the back of the courtroom, and as soon as the guilty verdict was given, he disappeared. I suspect Killian has just been disowned and I think he knows it.”

James looked pleased with himself but Emma wasn’t sure how to feel. After all, no one deserved to lose their family. Not even someone like Killian Jones.

"Come on," Regina said, glancing around at the emptying courtroom. "Let's get out of here."

The crowds at the front of the courthouse were predictably large but James and Regina escorted Emma through the clamouring reporters quickly and bundled her into the town car, Graham speeding the two women away seconds later. Emma leaned back against the seat and let out a shuddering sigh, a fresh wave of tears cascading down her face. Regina said nothing, she just nestled into her girlfriend's side, placed a kiss on her wet cheek, and allowed Emma to feel and think every complex emotion coursing through her brain without interruption.

* * *

By the time they got to the apartment building, the tears had stopped falling and Emma was wiping her face with a tissue. Regina led the way into their penthouse and closed the door behind them. The silence inside was heavy, but with what, neither woman knew. Emma moved wordlessly through to the kitchen where she flicked on the kettle and began to get out items to make cups of tea. Regina sat at the island, watching.

"What now?" Emma asked as she placed a cup of tea in front of Regina five minutes later.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I do now? I mean, what am I meant to feel? Yes, Killian is going to go to prison. Yes, everyone knows what a scumbag he is. But what about me? What do I do?" Emma said, sitting heavily beside Regina and staring into the milky brown liquid of her own mug.

"You move forward with your life," Regina replied. "You leave what that bastard did to you in the past and you move on. You're free now, Emma. You're free of that man, of this trial, of everything that came with it."

"So I just forget?"

"No," Regina said. "You don't forget. No one is expecting you to forget what happened, Emma. But now you have justice, you can start to work through the trauma and come to terms with it. Do you … do you think want to talk to someone about what happened?"

"A shrink?" Emma asked, with a sceptical raise of an eyebrow.

"If you think it will help," Regina nodded. "Or me. Or you can deal with it on your own. However you want to do it, Emma, I'll support you."

Emma shrugged and said nothing. She sipped her tea and reached for a cookie to dip into the hot liquid. Munching for a while, she glanced at the clock.

“I know what I want.”

“Anything,” Regina said at once. “Name it.”

“I want the two of us to go and pick Henry up from Zelena’s. And then when we get back I want us to make those enchiladas we had a few months ago. And after I’m told Henry the best Marlo story ever, you and me are going to curl up on the couch and watch some silly chick flick. How does that sound?”

Regina’s face split into a wide smile. “Perfect,” she nodded. “That sounds perfect, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ok, so I know I’m not going to be able to please everyone but I want to please the majority of you. Therefore, the decision as to how this storyline ends is now in your hands. Do you want Henry to be Emma’s biological son or not? I have two perfectly plausible and equally happy storylines plotted out in my head and am more than happy to write either one. Therefore please review (ff.net) or comment (ao3) with either “Henry Swan” if you want Henry to be Emma’s or “Unknown Swan” if you want her son to be someone else. You have 24 hours to vote and then I’ll begin writing the next chapter in which I will start to steer towards whichever outcome has the most support. Thanks!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’ve counted votes on both sites and PMs and tweets. Over eighty votes in total. Which is kinda scary! There was a clear winner and I promise you you’ll like the way I end this even if you wanted the other option … This chapter is NSFW.

Regina didn’t believe in clichés but if she could pat herself on the back without awkwardly bending her arm and looking a little crazy, she would have. Instead, she settled for thanking the travel agent and slipping the thick envelope into her purse. Once in her car, she couldn’t help but pull it out again and flicked through the glossy brochure. Her thumb rubbed absentmindedly across the embossed tickets, each name printed precisely and making her heart flutter with excitement.

By the time she reached the diner that Friday night, she was late even by her standards. But, not wanting to spoil the surprise and admit she had left the office over two hours previous, she told a tiny white lie about a meeting running over by way of apology to Emma and Henry. In fact, it was so late, Emma was easily able to persuade the brunette to allow them to eat dinner at Granny’s rather than waiting until they got home and rustled something up. Regina wouldn’t admit it to anyone but she did sometimes crave Granny’s grilled cheese sandwiches, a horribly unhealthy but delicious meal Emma had introduced her to some months before.

Henry was more than pleased to be granted permission to order a burger, although he wasn’t allowed any more milkshakes after he admitted he’d already had two. Emma herself ordered a grilled cheese and smirked when Regina parroted her order. Little by little, she was encroaching her guilty pleasures on the stickler for health that was her girlfriend. Regina just narrowed her sparkling eyes when Emma snorted into her half-drunk milkshake after the brunette asked for a plate of fries for the table.

It had only been two days since Killian Jones was found guilty of attempted rape but Emma was a changed woman. Despite her reservations about her ability to move forward on Wednesday night, Regina was pleasantly surprised by how upbeat and smiley Emma had been. She wasn’t quite sure of the reasons but she suspected it had a lot to do with Henry. After all, who could fail to feel happy around her perfect son.

“Oh Henry!” she admonished as her newly arrived cup of tea flooded the table.

She and Emma jumped up and scooted away from the brown liquid, Emma tugged Henry out of the way of the cascading hot drink just as Ruby appeared with a cloth.

Ok, Regina amended in her head, almost perfect.

* * *

Regina waited until Henry was tucked up in bed later that night before she presented Emma with the envelope. The blonde was typing away on her laptop and looked up in surprise when a hand appeared in front of her face.

“What’s this?” she asked, taking the envelope from Regina and opening the flap.

Regina didn’t answer and simply sank down beside the blonde and watched as Emma pulled out the travel brochure.

“You want to go on vacation?” Emma asked, glancing up at Regina.

“Yes, but more specifically than that,” Regina said, reaching over and tugging the tips of the tickets which she’d slid between the relevant pages.

Emma allowed the magazine to fall into her lap and opened it on the marked page. Slowly, her fingers extended and she picked up the three tickets she found there, taking in the details before her eyes drifted to the stunning photos on the pages beneath.

“Barbados?” she asked, in a whisper.

“What do you think?” Regina asked, unsure quite what was going through Emma’s mind.

“I think …,” Emma began, her fingers caressing the glossy page where a deserted white sand beach rolled into a turquoise ocean with a brilliant blue, cloudless sky high above it, “I think I don’t have a passport.”

“I know,” Regina said. “I thought we’d get you one. If you want to go, that is.”

“Of course I want to go,” Emma said, looking at Regina for the first time since she had seen the tickets. “I’ve never been on a proper vacation before. Aside from a couple of camping trips with foster families, anyway.”

“Then I think this is long overdue,” Regina smiled. “I haven’t taken Henry on an airplane before so that will be a little interesting but we always go away somewhere during the summer. I want to get him used to flying though and since he’s nearly five, I thought we could start.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine if he has Marlo,” Emma remarked. “I didn’t fly until I was twenty. Scared the shit out of me. Still does actually.”

“I’ll hold your hand,” Regina said, reaching over and entangling their fingers as she spoke.

Emma smiled at her but the grin suddenly faltered and faded.

“There’s only one problem … I mean, I don’t have any money.”

Regina smiled softly. She knew this would come up. She wasn’t sure whether it was just the way Emma was or because of her time spent on the streets but the blonde was not someone who liked to take hand-outs. Ever since she started working, she had been paying fifty dollars each week towards their food bills. Regina had tried to protest at first but eventually gave in. Both women knew the brunette payed for the vast majority of their lives but it seemed to offer Emma some comfort to know she contributed a little even though Regina insisted she didn’t need to. Therefore the older woman wasn’t at all surprised when Emma’s first thought about the holiday was money-related.

“It’s your birthday present,” Regina said.

“But you’ve already given me my present,” Emma said, her fingers coming to stroke the swan pendant which she had not taken off since her girlfriend presented it to her five days before.

“It’s your other birthday present,” Regina amended. “And also a summer vacation for Henry. And myself, come to that.”

“Regina, I can’t let you pay for all this,” Emma said.

“Honey, you know I don’t mind. You also know I get paid a ridiculous amount of money and I’d like to spend some of it. On us. As a family. This is a trip for all of us, Emma. What’s mine is yours.”

“You make it sound like we’re married.”

There was a long silence. Emma bit her lip, realising too late the implications behind her words. Regina eventually cleared her throat and continued.

“I want to pay for this for us. I want to give you and Henry a great vacation and I really don’t want you to be worrying about money. I know I’ve had a privileged upbringing and I’ve never really had any financial concerns so I can’t understand your feelings on this. But I would like you to try and recognise that this trip is one of the ways in which I would like to spend my money. No, it’s not cheap, but I think it’s worth it.”

Emma hesitated before nodding her understanding. Regina beamed at her and leaned forwards, kissing her deeply. Emma fell backwards with an eager Regina on top of her, fingers tangled in her hair as her thighs cradled Regina’s waist.

* * *

Half an hour later, Regina was scanning through a case file and Emma was once more typing on the laptop. She had surprised herself with the new routine into which she had fallen. After telling Henry his nightly story, she would fire up Regina’s laptop and record what she had said. She’d embellish a little as she typed, adding better or more varied adjectives and giving the story a little extra detail. She already had a dozen Marlo tales saved in a folder entitled ‘Henry’s stories’. Regina hadn’t commented on the new habit but she was secretly pleased. Emma seemed at last to be recognising that her stories were worth recording. Regina also hadn’t mentioned why she first wanted Emma to begin noting down her imaginative tales. She was trying to think of the best way to bring it up.

Regina herself was supposed to be working but she kept glancing over at her girlfriend. Emma’s brow furrowed slightly as she typed and occasionally her tongue poked out between her pale lips, the concentration evident and adorable. Regina’s eyes snapped back to the file in her hand when Emma caught her staring and she refocused on the briefing paper she had received that day from Robin Locksley. Working with him and his law firm had become far more bearable over the past few months. Ever since her relationship with Emma had hit the papers during Killian Jones’ trial, her mother had stopped trying to set the two of them up. In fact, her mother had stopped talking to her outside of work altogether. Regina wasn’t too saddened by this loss.

“Ready for bed?” Emma asked, closing the laptop lid minutes later.

Regina glanced at her watch. “It’s barely nine. Are you tired?”

“No,” Emma said, a glint in her eye. “And I asked you if you were ready to go to bed, not if you were ready for sleep.”

Regina felt her insides tighten slightly at the sultry tone of Emma’s voice. She tossed her papers onto the couch beside her and at once felt the blonde’s hands cup her jaw, pulling their lips together in a heated kiss.

By the time they stumbled into the bedroom, Regina’s blouse was unbuttoned and Emma’s shorts unzipped. They knew they were being careless and that Henry could have walked out of his room at any moment but both women were too turned on to care. It was the first time they had been together since Emma’s birthday night. Before the trial verdict came in, Emma had been too preoccupied and afterwards she had still been somewhat distracted. Now however, her hands skated confidently over Regina’s sides and down to her hips where she grasped the pert ass through the brunette’s slacks.

Emma found herself being pushed gently onto the bed. She sat on the edge of it and watched, her heart racing, as Regina slowly removed her open blouse and dropped it carelessly onto the floor. Her slender fingers hooked next into the top of her pants, pushing them down her legs until she was stood only in her underwear. It wasn’t a matching set but from the look on Emma’s face, she couldn’t care less about the fact that her bra was pale blue and her thong was black.

Pale hands reached out and tugged Regina towards her by the edge of her thong. The brunette chuckled and stepped forward, climbing up to straddle Emma and kissing her softly. She could kiss Emma for hours, days even. The soft, thin lips moved pliantly with her own, the hot mouth welcoming the swish of her tongue before Emma took control herself. Sharp teeth bit gently on her lip and a tongue swiped the pinched flesh. Regina groaned, her hips rocking forwards, trying to relieve some of the growing pressure in her core.

Emma lay back on the bed, pulling Regina down with her and continuing the kiss. Her hands tangled in the brown hair which fell forward, pushing it back and allowing her fingers to play with Regina’s ears as she did so. Regina shuddered in delight and Emma smirked into their kiss. She loved how well she knew her girlfriend’s body. Over the months they had been together, Emma had diligently explored every millimetre of Regina’s skin, peppered every centimetre with a thousand kisses and soft caresses. She didn’t think she’d ever get enough of the brunette above her.

With a practiced flick of her fingers, Regina’s bra fell from her back, and Emma pulling the straps down her arms, slid it out from between their bodies, and flung it blindly away. She kissed Regina again, her hands sliding up and down the uninterrupted expanse of smooth skin of her back now available to her, fingers gliding over each of the slight undulations which marked out Regina’s ribcage, sliding around the delicate jut of her shoulder bones and running over the notches in her spine. Regina shivered as the tips of Emma’s fingers dipped just below her thong, tracing the top of her ass before returning to her bare back.

“You’re overdressed,” the brunette mumbled against kiss-swollen lips.

“I know,” Emma replied, her words equally muffled since neither woman wanted to create any significant distance between their mouths.

The kisses continued until Regina’s urge to feel Emma’s skin against her own was too great and she pulled away, despite a whimper of protest from the blonde. Emma fell silent however when her tank top was tugged quickly over her head and her sports bra followed it seconds later. Her nipples strained against the sudden rush of balmy June air and Regina’s fingers ghosted over the tight tips before moving to Emma’s stomach and on to where her jeans shorts lay unbuttoned but still in place. She removed them quickly, the fabric tumbling unnoticed to the floor as both women focused only on the other.

Regina sat astride Emma’s hips, her still-covered sex pressed tightly against Emma’s pubic bone. Her fingernails raked tenderly up and down the flat planes of the blonde’s stomach, teasingly running along the underside of each breast before returning southwards once more. Emma’s muscles tensed and fluttered with each delightful touch.

“Regina,” Emma stammered as the heat low in her belly coiled to an almost unbearable height.

The brunette smirked and swung herself off Emma. She removed both their underwear and then returned to her position, the smooth skin of their sexes now touching. Emma reached up and pulled Regina down on top of her, kissing her lips fiercely as she rocked her hips upwards. Allowing Regina to dominate the kiss, Emma surprised the older woman by flipping her over, laying between her now spread thighs and palming a breast roughly. Regina gasped into the kiss and pulled away, her eyes dark with lust. Emma grinned coquettishly back at her before slinking down Regina’s body until she was nestled between her legs.

Regina propped herself against the pillows at the head of the bed. She loved to watch Emma feasting between her thighs. Emma’s green eyes met her own and she blew her a kiss just before pale lips dipped to her aching sex. The tip of Emma’s tongue parted her folds, tracing over her entrance and sliding up through her already slick core until it reached her clit. Her mouth covered it, a tender kiss to the sensitive bundle before she retreated, licking another, stronger line. Regina shuddered in delight.

For her part, Emma wrapped her arms around Regina’s upper thighs, her hands splayed wide on the soft skin, easing her legs even further apart. She used the flat of her tongue to lave her girlfriend’s glistening core, the addictive taste making her feel light-headed and extremely aroused. She focused that night, not on Regina’s clit which would have brought the brunette to orgasm within minutes, but her entrance. She ran her tongue around the small hole, collecting the juices which gathered there before she dipped inside. She couldn’t reach as far as with her fingers but she loved the feel of the tight muscles clenching and unclenching around her tongue as she pumped. The hot, slippery flesh surrounded her, the tip of her nose buried close to Regina’s clit and as she rocked forwards, mewls of pleasure reached her ears.

Emma sucked slightly, her tongue still inside as she curled it against the front wall of Regina’s channel, her lower face was covered in her girlfriend’s essence already and she could feel more coating her tongue. Thighs began to quiver, Regina’s body climbing steadily towards its pleasure high. When she heard the breathless plea, Emma obliged, replacing her tongue with two long fingers, pumping hard and deep at once as her tired tongue moved to lave attention to Regina’s neglected clit, wriggling and twirling around it until the brunette exploded. The stifled cry and the clenching passage made Emma moan in delight and pride, her fingers buried deep inside the older woman and her mouth sealed hotly around her clit.

After a few seconds, tender fingers on the top of her head told Emma that Regina was too sensitive for any more. Somewhat reluctantly she lifted her face and licked her lips. Sliding her fingers free, she sucked each one clean, never once allowing her eyes to leave Regina’s flushed face.

“Wow you’re good,” Regina panted, pushing her sweaty hair back from her face.

“Thanks,” Emma smiled, crawling back up Regina and kissing her.

The brunette’s hand wrapped around Emma’s neck when she tried to pull back and the kiss deepened, Regina always enjoying the taste of her own pleasure on Emma’s tongue and lips. When at last she did let the blonde go, she shuffled herself down the bed and beckoned Emma towards her face. An eyebrow rose.

“Really?” Emma asked.

“Why not?”

Emma shrugged and was already rising onto her knees and moving upwards towards Regina’s head as she answered. “Just thought that of the two of us you’re the one more likely to be the queen,” she remarked as she settled her knees on either side of Regina’s ears.

“Oh but my dear,” Regina said, her arms encircling Emma’s thighs and tugging her girlfriend down so her sex was millimetres from plump lips, “who’s to say I’m not the one in control?”

Emma cried out and fell forwards, her hands gripping the headboard hard as her girlfriend’s tongue swiped aggressively across her core. She knew she was aroused. Eating Regina’s cunt always made her throb with pleasure but at that moment she realised she could climax embarrassingly quickly. And Regina knew it too. The clever tongue moved deftly towards her tight bundle of nerves, drawing a random mixture of patterns against the tender nub before a hot mouth enveloped it. Emma’s body shuddered, her back arching as she subconsciously pushed down onto Regina’s face. The muffled moan only turned her on more and she rocked herself back and forth as her girlfriend’s tongue danced against her core.

Regina didn’t care that it took Emma less than two minutes to come. She didn’t care that the scream which reverberated off the walls might have woken her son. She didn’t care that her lungs were burning with a need for oxygen as her girlfriend’s sex pressed hard against her mouth and nose. Regina didn’t care about any of it. All she cared about was Emma’s pleasure. She licked and sucked and drank down everything Emma poured out against her mouth, the taste of her orgasm combined with her need to breathe making her light-headed. Just as she was about to tap Emma’s ass and ask her to move, the blonde collapsed to one side, panting and sweaty and Regina took in great lungfuls of air before rolling over as well. She watched as Emma recovered, her chest rising and falling, a brilliant blush on her skin and her legs lying limply open. Regina had to restrain herself from diving back in but she sensed that the blonde needed a moment to recover.

Eventually, Emma sat up and twisted herself around so her head lay beside Regina’s on the pillow, her eyes half-closed in post-coital bliss and a dopey smile on her face.

“Well, that was amazing,” she murmured, kissing Regina’s lips lightly and throwing an arm over a slender waist.

“Yes it was,” Regina nodded. “Although if Henry asks what we were doing last night, you’re making up an excuse this time, ok?”

Emma bit her lip. “Was I that loud?” she asked.

Regina nodded. “And I loved it.”

Emma chuckled. She liked how Regina enjoyed her vocal performances in bed. It was a good thing, really, since Emma wasn’t exactly a quiet lover. Neither, come to that, was Regina.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Emma and Regina planned their upcoming vacation. The youth centre had given Emma ten days off work and Regina had simply emailed her mother to say she wouldn’t be available for the last week in July. Henry was very excited and would sit in front of Regina’s world map in her office and trace the line between New York and Barbados, marvelling at the distance which could be covered in just a few short hours by air. There had been no less than four separate shopping trips. Emma hated shopping but even she had enjoyed the time they spent in Bloomingdales picking out bikinis. Regina had modelled at least ten for her and the two of them had ended up in bed seconds after getting home from the store. Luckily Henry was on a playdate that day.

Acquiring Emma’s passport caused a little stress however. As a foster kid with a criminal record, she had run into a few snags when applying but since she had a birth certificate (not the original but one she’d had for almost twenty-three years) eventually it was granted. She hated the photo in it but Regina assured her that was something which came with the luxury of international travel.

“You look amazing in yours,” Emma had protested when Regina had shown her the snapshot.

“No, I don’t,” Regina had admonished. “My eyes have bags under them and my hair is completely flat.”

“I look like an escaped mental patient,” Emma had retorted. “Look! My eyes are all stare-y and my teeth look like I want to bite you.”

Regina had raised her eyebrow and winked at the comment and that evening had quickly moved into the bedroom too.

* * *

“Ready?” Regina asked on a Saturday morning towards the end of July. “We need to leave or we’ll be late.”

She was standing in the doorway to their bedroom and watching as Emma tried to zip up her suitcase.

“Almost,” the blonde replied, kneeling on the lid of her case in an attempt to force it closed.

Regina crossed the room to help her and between them they got it shut. Emma thanked her and then disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door. Regina lugged the suitcase into the hallway where Henry was standing beside his own luggage and Regina’s. She bent down and rubbed the raspberry jam from Henry’s cheek with her thumb and then double checked that she had all three passports and the tickets in her handbag.

“Where’s Emma?” Henry asked.

“I’ll go and find her,” Regina said.

She walked back down the hall and into the empty bedroom. Frowning, she knocked on the bathroom door and heard a grunt in reply.

“Are you ok?” she asked, concerned.

There was silence and then the sound of the lock scraping back and the door opened. Emma looked rather pale and her skin was damp. Regina immediately held a hand to her forehead, which felt a little hot. The blonde ducked away.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Let’s go,” Emma said, pushing lightly past Regina and out into the hall.

“No. Stop, Emma,” Regina instructed.

The blonde did, surprising both of them in her obedience. She waited until Regina rounded her and then shrugged her shoulders in an almost teenage-like manner.

“What?”

“I was going to ask you that,” Regina said, eyebrow raised at the sulky tone. “What’s wrong?”

Emma looked down at the floor, her flip-flop clad foot running backwards and forwards over the carpet. Regina reached for her hand and squeezed. She hadn’t seem Emma like this in months. She seemed so … shy, nervous unsure of herself. It reminded Regina of the woman she had met on that cold January day which had changed both their lives.

“I don’t like flying,” Emma mumbled eventually, raising her green eyes to meet Regina’s concerned gaze.

Regina could have kicked herself for forgetting what the blonde had told her the day she had presented the tickets. The two of them had talked several times about how best to entertain Henry during their hours in the air but neither of them had ever mentioned the fact that Emma wasn’t exactly thrilled about being off solid ground.

“It’s very safe,” Regina began. “Remember all those things we looked up to reassure Henry if he needs it? All those statistics. And think about how many thousands of flights take off every day. Every minute, even. People travel by plane all the time, Emma. It’s going to be fine.”

“I know,” Emma said, wiping away a stray tear angrily. She hated showing weakness. “But I still don’t like the idea of being in a massive metal box hundreds of metres off the ground held up by two puny wings. I mean, how can that possibly work?”

“Do you really want a physics lesson?” Regina asked.

Emma managed a smile. “No,” she said. “And I’m sorry. I know we’re going to be late if we don’t leave now. Come on.”

She moved past Regina and towards the door but before she could step into the hallway, a hand encircled her wrist.

“Wha-?”

Before Emma could finish her question, a mouth covered her own, kissing her softly as arms wrapped around her body. Regina hugged her close, trying to convey her love through her lips and tongue.

“I’d never, ever let anything happen to you, Emma,” Regina murmured when they broke apart. “And I promise you it won’t on this flight.”

“Ok,” Emma whispered back.

“Ok,” Regina replied with a smile.

Their hands clasped and together they walked back into the hall where they found Henry waiting for them, one hand on his hip and a finger from the other tapping his newly gifted watch and frowning.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry for the delay. My weekend disappeared into drinking and sunbathing and generally not being by my laptop. But this chapter was niggling away in the back of my mind and so I typed like a maniac during my lunch break to get it up for you, my lovely readers. Oh, and I’ve never been to Barbados. But I do have google.
> 
> Also, trigger warning for discussions of child abuse in this chapter. Sorry. I promise this story has a happy ending!

Emma kept her eyes firmly shut, her fingers digging into the armrest on one side and Regina’s palm on the other. Regina didn't complain. She simply murmured nonsensical reassurances and tried to keep her girlfriend calm as the plane dropped lower and lower until it finally bumped gently down onto the runway. As the brakes were applies and the vehicle began to judder, Emma’s eyes snapped open, staring out of the window at the new country she had finally arrived in.

“See,” Regina said, rubbing her thumb soothingly over Emma’s hand. “We’re fine.”

“How’s Henry?” Emma asked, leaning past Regina to look at the boy sat beside the brunette. He was fast asleep. “Oh.”

Regina smiled and placed a soft kiss to Emma’s blushing cheek. “You did great,” she assured. “I’m really proud of you.”

“Can I take sleeping pills on the way back please?” Emma grumbled. She might have managed her first long-haul flight fully conscious but that didn’t mean she had enjoyed it. Well, except for the food which, despite feeling sick with worry, she had devoured. Emma Swan was always hungry and the airplane food had not been nearly as revolting as Regina had prepared her for.

An hour later and the three of them stepped out of the airport, pushing a trolley full of their luggage. Henry squinted at the bright sunlight until his mother slid a pair of sunglasses onto his eyes. He reached for Emma’s hand and then Regina’s, leading the two of them towards a brightly coloured taxi waiting by the curb.

“This makes yellow look rather boring,” Emma commented as she slung their bags into the trunk and made her way around to climb into the back of the cab.

“Can we get a pink car, Mama?” Henry asked, kneeling up in his seat and pressing his face to the window.

“No,” Regina replied. “And sit down so I can put your seatbelt on please. You’ll have plenty of time to look at this beautiful country when we settle into the hotel.”

The drive was, unsurprisingly given the size of the island, short. Emma paid and thanked the driver and then she, Regina, and Henry made their way into an expansive lobby. The front of the hotel opened up onto white sands of a private beach and the sun’s rays were dancing on the surface of the calm, warm waters. The cool white walls of the reception offered a welcome retreat from the heat and Emma had already spotted the pool off to the side of the complex she was looking forward to dipping her toe into. She had never stayed in a place with a pool before. In fact, she’d never stayed in a hotel before.

She also got the feeling that going on vacation with Regina was not exactly how a typical American family would travel. When the door swung open to their suite, even the brunette looked impressed. There were five rooms; a living room with a kitchenette, two bedrooms, and two en suites. Emma was thoroughly impressed and edged her way into the pristine entrance, worried her old flip flops would somehow damage the immaculate wooden flooring. Henry however raced off into his room at once, reappearing with a towel folded into the shape of a swan seconds later and holding it out to Emma.

“Is this because of you?” he asked.

Emma chuckled. “No, but I’d like to think it was,” she smiled.

Henry looked mightily impressed regardless but seconds later the towel origami began to fall apart and his smile vanished as the bird disintegrated before his eyes. Before any tears could fall, Regina quickly darted into the room she and Emma would be sleeping in and found a replacement.

“Maybe don’t move this one too much, ok?” she suggested, leading Henry back into his room and propping the new swan on his dresser.

* * *

“This is perfect,” Emma announced.

She had just emerged on the terrace beside the pool after the three of them had unpacked and already a waiter had taken their orders for two pina coladas and a pineapple juice. Henry and Regina nodded their agreement before they all headed to find some free sun beds. It was late afternoon and there were plenty of places to sit. Grabbing three vacant recliners, Emma threw herself down onto one with an exaggerated sigh. Henry giggled. He then pulled his t-shirt over his head and tugged down his shorts, leaving him in a pair of swimming trunks. His mother had already covered him in sunscreen in their room, anticipating his impatience as soon as they arrived poolside.

“Wait for me, Henry,” Regina said firmly as the little boy moved at once towards the water.

He obeyed reluctantly, watching as his mother pulled her new sundress over her head and revealed a black bikini. Emma watched too, mouth open.

“Coming in?” Regina asked, folding her dress and turning to the blonde.

“Nah,” Emma said. “I’m gonna read my book for a bit. You two have fun.”

Regina hesitated before nodding. She took Henry’s hand and they of them made their way towards the shallow end of the pool. Sipping her newly arrived cocktail, Emma watched as Regina got in first, holding out her hand to help Henry step down into the cool water. She smiled as she saw him sit down on a step, splashing his hand along the surface for a bit before moving deeper. Regina knelt next to him, her eyes alert and loving. Emma briefly thought of her own lost son and hoped that, wherever he was, his mother cared as much for him as Regina did for Henry.

The next day, the three of them strolled out onto the beach after breakfast. The sands were almost deserted, just a few early risers dotting the perfect whiteness. They found some vacant sun beds under a large umbrella a little way from the hotel and set up for the day. Slathered in sunscreen, Regina allowed Henry to venture out onto the sand where he at once began to dig with his new spade.

“Want me to get your back?” Emma offered as Regina removed her dress and revealed another new bikini, this time in a vivid turquoise.

Emma was already realising that going on holiday with Regina had many perks, one of which was the ample amount of time the brunette spent in very little clothing. Her eyes roved unabashedly over the expanse of tanned, smooth skin. She shivered slightly as she remembered the feel of the older woman’s body against her own the night before.

“Thanks,” Regina said, holding her hair out of the way and standing with her back to the blonde.

Emma applied the lotion carefully, her hands sliding over every inch of exposed skin and beneath the thin blue straps of Regina’s bathing suit. She finished with a light slap to Regina’s ass. The brunette turned around and arched an eyebrow. Emma grinned wolfishly.

“Do you want me to do your back?” Regina asked, noting that the woman’s tank top was still in place, although her denim shorts had already been discarded.

“Um, no thanks. I think I’m just going to sit under here for a while.”

Regina frowned. She hadn’t thought much of it when Emma hadn’t joined her or Henry in the pool the day before, especially since the blonde had sat on the side, sipping her drink and dangled her legs in for half an hour before returning to her book. But now, she was beginning to think that something was wrong.

“Are you ok?” Regina asked. “Is the heat getting to you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Emma assured. “I just want to read. This book’s really good.” She held up the Margaret Atwood she had already made significant headway into.

“I know,” Regina said. “I recommended it to you. And we have plenty of time for reading. Why don’t you come down into the water with me and Henry? Or you can help us build the best sand castle ever!”

Emma quirked her lips as if she was wondering how to reply. Regina stepped towards her and kissed her lightly on the mouth.

“What’s bothering you?” she asked. The blonde shook her head but before she could open her mouth to deny anything was wrong, Regina continued. “Emma, I know something is worrying you and I want to know what. Maybe I can help.”

“You can’t,” Emma replied. “There’s nothing to help anyway. It’s just something I have to get over.”

“What is?” Regina asked, more confused than ever.

“My scars.”

It had been months since Emma had finally allowed Regina to see and touch the scars on her back. They hadn’t ever spoken about them however and Regina still didn’t know what had caused the injuries. It had taken time but Emma no longer flinched when Regina’s fingers touched the damaged skin. And Regina herself barely noticed any more. They were just another part of Emma’s terrible past which was over. But it had always been obvious the blonde was very self-conscious about them.

“That’s why you wouldn’t let me buy you those bikinis?” Regina asked.

Emma shrugged. “I like one-pieces,” she said. “And they’ve been in style this year so why wouldn’t I wear them?”

“You know I think you’re beautiful, right?” Regina said. “Whatever you’re wearing.”

“I know,” Emma said, a weak smile on her lips. “But it’s hard to believe sometimes.”

“So you’re not going to swim this entire holiday?” Regina asked.

“No, I will,” Emma said. “But maybe not today. I just … I need to get myself prepared.”

Regina nodded her understanding even as she glanced up and down the beach. There were no other people within a hundred yards of them. If Emma was worried about what other people would think, Regina wasn’t quite sure why. Or who.

“Henry,” Emma said by way of explanation. “He’ll ask.”

“And you want to tell him before he sees them?”

“I want to think up a plausible explanation which isn’t a lie,” Emma replied. “I don’t want to scare him but I also don’t want to tell him explicitly what happened.”

Regina hesitated before sitting down on her sun bed. “What did happen?”

In all the time they had been together, Regina suddenly realised she had never been told, nor asked, what had happened to result in the angry red lines criss crossing Emma’s back. She hadn’t really cared for the details before. Emma was safe. Emma was healthy. The past was the past. It didn’t matter. But now, with it evident how much the scars affected Emma, her curiosity was piqued.

“Can I tell you tonight?” Emma asked, glancing at Henry who was making his way toward them, wondering what was keeping his mother from joining him on the sand. “I think you son needs some help building castles.”

Regina reached over and squeezed Emma’s hand. “Tonight,” she nodded before standing and walking towards Henry, a bucket and spade set swinging by her side.

* * *

When Henry was at last in bed, exhausted after their day but over-excited and hyped up after the vast array of deserts the hotel had produced for their dinner, Emma and Regina found themselves sitting on the balcony of their suite. The sun had already set but the sky was an ever-changing mix of reds, purples, pinks and oranges. Emma sipped her chilled white wine and closed her eyes. This, she thought, was bliss.

“So.”

Regina’s quiet voice interrupted her peace and Emma cracked an eye open. She looked sideways at her girlfriend who was sitting somewhat nervously beside her, twirling the stem of her own wine glass.

“So,” Emma repeated, pushing herself into a more upright position and taking another gulp of wine.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Regina said quickly. “If it’s too painful to talk about those memories then please say, Emma. After everything you’ve been through these past couple of months, I really don’t want to force you to talk about something you’re not ready to face.”

“It’s fine,” Emma said, a reassuring hand reaching out to pat Regina’s bare thigh. “I don’t mind telling you. The only reason I haven’t told you before is because you never asked.”

“I thought … I don’t know,” Regina shrugged, curling herself up in her chair and turning towards Emma. “I didn’t want to pry.”

“You’re my girlfriend,” Emma said softly. “I love you. You can pry all you like.”

Regina smiled. “Ok then. What happened to your back?”

Emma put her now empty glass of wine on the table beside her and mirrored Regina’s position in her own chair. Her arms wrapped around her shins and she leant her head back against the seat.

“Most of my time in the foster system, I was with nice families. I know it doesn’t seem like that because of how much I moved around but actually I was the problem, not them. Early on the couples did their best for me and I was just too difficult for them to cope with. If a family had several kids, they seemed to think it wasn’t fair on the others if all their time was directed at me. In most cases, I now don’t blame the parents for giving up on me. They tried really hard to give me what I needed and I was just resistant to every attempt. I refused to believe anyone wanted to help me or that they were going to stick around for long. As I got older, I began to run away too. It was easier for me to leave them than to wait for them to give me up. I didn’t trust anyone to persevere with me or do what was in my best interests. And that was because of something that happened very early on.”

Regina said nothing. Her stomach was already clenching in anticipation.

“You know I was adopted for the first two years of my life,” Emma continued. “When I went back into the system, I was placed with another nice family. In fact, I was there for a long time. But then when I was five I bit one of the other children. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong but within a day I had been removed. I had no idea what was happening and my social worker didn’t explain anything to me. All I knew was that I suddenly arrived in a new house. It was much bigger and there were loads of children there. I was the youngest by quite a long way. It was a kids home basically and the couple who ran it were purely in it for the money. It’s going to sound like I was in Annie without the singing and dancing but it really was like that. We cleaned the house every day. We helped with the cooking. We tidied the garden. We were treated like a group of slaves. And just like slaves, if we did something wrong, we were punished.”

Regina’s fingers formed a fist around her wine glass stem. She couldn’t even begin to imagine punishing a child in the way she knew Emma was about to describe. Her heart beat faster, her mind conjuring up a skinny green-eyed blonde girl with a forlorn look on her face.

“The first time was when I knocked over a vase,” Emma said. “I think I was dusting but I couldn’t reach the shelf properly and it just fell. It was green and utterly hideous in its design. I think I was doing them a service frankly. Anyway, it shattered on the floor and as soon as the foster father appeared, he looked at me with an expression I’ll never forget. It was like he was pleased, as if he had been looking for something to punish me over. He took my wrist and dragged me into his office. I had no idea what was happening as he unbuckled his belt. I knew I was in trouble and I could tell he was annoyed but there was also undeniable enjoyment and excitement on his face. He told me to take off my t-shirt and face the wall. I obeyed. I had to. And then, yeah, well …”

Emma trailed off, looking away from Regina and out at the dusky sky. Her back burned, the pain so vivid it was like the belt was slicing into her flesh all over again. She shuddered.

“I’m so sorry,” Regina whispered, bringing Emma back to the present after a few minutes.

“Thanks,” Emma replied shortly. “It … yeah. It happened. I was at the home for about six months I think. Then a teacher spotted one of the marks during sports at school and reported the family. We were all removed that night. He went to prison but I suspect he’s out by now. It was nearly twenty years ago. From then on, I never trusted anyone. To me, even the nicest foster parents were suspicious. I didn’t know why they wanted me to be in their house. They weren’t forcing me to do endless chores, they weren’t hoarding us to collect money from the state, they weren’t beating us. I refused to believe they were just good people. And so I made their lives hell, got into trouble at school and ran away as much as I could. I made them turn against me. Every family welcomed me with open arms, optimistic about doing good for me. I just never gave them a chance. All because of that one couple.”

Emma reached over and tangled her fingers with Regina’s.

“It’s in my past,” she said firmly. “I don’t think about it often but I also don’t like people to see my scars. I don’t want them to know what happened to me. And it reminds me of the fact that I ended up in the system. When I think about that, I can’t help but think about the baby I gave up and if something similar happened to him. I pray it didn’t and I doubt it did. But I still wonder. And swimming has always been a problem for me. No bathing suits hide the scars completely so I tend to stay out of the water even though I love swimming. And I want to enjoy this holiday so I am going to come into the sea tomorrow with you and Henry. Now you know everything, I think I can do it.”

“You can,” Regina said at once. “I know you can.”

“Thanks,” Emma said, managing a smile. “Is there anything you want to ask me or know more about? I want to be completely open with you, Regina. These scars might have happened in my past but they affect me today and will affect me in the future. Is there anything you need from me?”

Regina didn’t know what to say. She had no questions; Emma had been far more open and honest than she had anticipated. Regina didn’t think there was any correct response for what Emma had just told her. So instead she did the only thing she thought would make Emma feel better, would make Emma forget. Leaning forward, she kissed her girlfriend with all the love and feelings she could muster.

They stumbled blinding into their room, mouths fused in a passionate embrace. Once on the bed, Emma allowed herself to be worshipped. Regina made love to her for hours, trying to convey to the blonde how special she was, how wanted she was, how loved she was, how not broken she was. Emma felt the tears fall from her own eyes as soft lips kissed up and down each of the scars on her back. She felt her heart burst with love and emotion as Regina gently turned her over and kissed her mouth once more. She felt her body crest over and over again as Regina pleasured her.

When she at last fell asleep that night, Emma was emotionally and physically exhausted. But safe. Wrapped in Regina’s arms, nestled against Regina’s body, consumed by Regina’s love. Emma would always be safe.

* * *

“What’s that on your back?”

Emma raised an eyebrow at Regina who shook her head in mild disbelief at her son’s bluntness. Emma had barely taken off her t-shirt on the beach the following morning when Henry had pointed to her scars and asked his question. Although only the tips of a few healed cuts were visible, Emma and Regina had discussed that morning what to do if the small boy noticed Emma’s old injuries.

“I broke a vase when I was a kid,” Emma said.

“Does it hurt?” Henry asked, edging closer and peering at the puckered flesh.

“No,” she said. “Not any more.”

“Oh. Ok. Can we go swimming now?”

Regina couldn’t help but laugh and Emma smiled too before taking hold of Henry’s hand and strolling down the sand towards the warm sea. Regina hurried to catch them up, taking hold of Emma’s other hand and they entered the water together.

* * *

“This is boring,” Henry whined for the umpteenth time.

They were walking slowly around an art gallery, looking at the pieces hanging on the wall and taking a break from the relentless midday sun in Bridgetown. Henry had endured a museum, an abbey, and three art galleries already. Despite the women trying to engage him as much as possible, his patience was wearing thin.

“Hey, Henry. Look at this,” Emma said, crouching down to pick him up so he was eye level with a mosaic made out of brightly coloured shells. “What animal is that?”

“Tortoise,” Henry replied, reaching out to touch the artwork before Emma quickly stepped backwards.

“Almost,” Emma said. “It’s actually a turtle. It lives in the sea and tomorrow we’re going to go on a boat so we can see some of them swimming in the water. We might even get to swim with them too.”

“Really?” Henry said, bouncing on Emma’s hip in excitement. “Cool!”

Regina smiled at the two of them as she walked behind them. Emma was great with Henry, she mused. Confident, calm, attentive. She watched as Emma headed towards the small gift shop, offering to buy Henry a small model of a turtle or a pencil with a monkey on the end of it. The monkey won, naturally. Regina had thought Henry was going to explode with joy when Emma had crouched beside him that morning in the hotel grounds and pointed out the Barbados green monkey sitting him up in a tree just metres away. Yes, the wildlife on this island was definitely suited to an inquisitive young boy.

After the art gallery, the three of them bought ice cream and strolled through the capital city hand in hand. It was busy with tourists and locals alike and they all took in the sights and sounds. It was a colourful, vibrant place and Henry in particular didn’t know where to look first. They made their way down to the marina where a huge cruise ship was loading up with hoards of tourists, ready to depart. Henry kept glancing around, hoping to see either a monkey or a sea turtle. After half an hour of neither appearing, he requested they return to the hotel for dinner.

* * *

Emma knew that in many ways Henry was dictating what they did during their vacation. She doubted she and Regina would themselves have spent three hours building sand castles. Nor would they have spent the morning staring at a tree waiting for a monkey to reappear. They probably wouldn’t have chosen to go to the fairground just outside of Bridgetown either. But that didn’t mean they weren’t having the best time of their lives. And despite Henry’s constant presence during the day, their nights were reserved just for the two of them. Emma thought it was perfect.

What Emma didn’t think was perfect was the discovery that she got severely sea sick. She had never been on a boat out in the open ocean before and as soon as the small boat left the calm waters of the bay, her stomach began to roll. She had been leaning over the side for about half and hour when the engine was finally silenced and the boat slowed until it was bobbing lightly on the water.

“You ok?” Regina asked, rubbing her back.

Emma nodded and wiped her mouth. She turned around and saw Henry sat opposite her, lifejacket fastened securely and a snorkel already in place. She couldn’t help but smile.

“Do you want to come in with us?” Regina asked.

The blonde nodded again. “I think I’ll feel better once I’m in the water,” she said, reaching for a snorkel set herself.

Emma had never snorkelled before but with Regina’s careful instruction, Emma found herself floating on the surface within minutes, staring down through the crystal clear water at the coral reef below her. Henry and Regina floated nearby, the boy trying to get the hang of the breathing and Regina trying to make sure he didn’t inhale water.

It took less than five minutes for them to spot a turtle. And it was Henry who saw it first.

“Mama! Mommy!” he shouted into his breathing tube, the words muffled but distinguishable.

Neither woman commented on his use of the word which had occasionally referenced Emma. Instead they lifted their heads from water and watched as Henry pointed to where he had been looking and then ducked under the surface again. Emma and Regina followed his lead, each holding tight to one of his hands. There, emerging from the cloudy depths, swam a turtle. Its flippers waved lazily through the water as it propelled its body upwards. As they watched, two more shapes appeared behind the first, sharpening until they could see three turtles swimming towards them.

A splashing and spluttering pulled Regina and Emma’s attention and Henry bobbed up, coughing.

“Ok, kid?” Emma asked, pulling his breathing tube from his mouth.

Henry nodded enthusiastically and gestured to have the apparatus back. Regina told him to wait a moment and, when his breathing had evened out, replaced the tube. He smiled around the intrusion, making a grotesque but adorable face, and dipped down to watch the turtles which had risen until they were just metres from the little family. All three of them watched as the turtles waggled their flippers, looking inquisitively at the humans floating and staring at them. They swam closer. Reaching out, Emma slowly moved until she was stroking the shell. Henry did the same as the turtle passed him and finally Regina’s fingers ran over the hard surface as it swam past. The other two turtles hesitated a little before approaching too.

“Wow!” Emma gasped as she surfaced with Regina and Henry ten minutes later. “That was amazing.”

“Agreed,” Regina nodded.

“Where did they go?” Henry asked, pushing his face below the water to see if the turtles really had swum off.

“To their home?” Emma suggested. “Or maybe to get food.”

“Are you hungry?” Regina asked.

“I’m always hungry,” Emma reminded her. “Not least after I've emptied the entire contents of my stomach. Although it’s just a shame we have to travel back across the water for me to get fed.”

“I have cereal bars,” Regina said. “But that might not be such a good idea.”

Emma shook her head and together the three of them swam back towards the waiting boat. Once on board, Emma positioned herself near the back where the rocking was least pronounced. The engine revved up and seconds later they were moving back towards the shore, picking up speed. Emma swallowed and gripped the railing.

“Emma!”

She looked up at the sound of Henry’s voice and saw the little boy enthusiastically beckoning to join him at the front of the boat. Regina beside him was doing exactly the same. Sceptical, Emma got to her unsteady feet. As soon as they saw Emma was coming they turned back to leaning over the prow of the boat.

“What?” she asked when she finally made it to them.

Neither Mills said a word. Instead, they simply pointed over the edge and Emma looked down. A flash of grey appeared, breaking the water’s surface. Seconds later, a second and a third fin was seen. Then, the graceful body emerged fully out of the water, jumping up into the air before curving downwards and disappearing right in front of the boat.

“Dolphins?” Emma gasped.

Regina nodded and reached over, looping her arm around Emma’s waist, Henry squished in between them. Dolphins had been Emma’s favourite animal as a child and she expressed her wish to see them in the wild to Regina only the previous evening.

Emma forgot her seasickness. She forgot the way the boat bounced on the water and made her legs turn to jelly. She knelt, side by side with Regina and Henry, on the wooden bench at the front of the ship watching as the group of dolphins playing in the spray of their boat. When they finally disappeared and turned back towards the open ocean, they were already approaching the jetty.

“That,” Emma said as the boat tapped gently against the wooden pier minutes later, “was the best day of my life.”

* * *

Scratch that, Emma thought as she settled down in her airplane seat a few days later. That was the best holiday of my life. Ok, she she didn’t have much to compare it to. In fact, she had basically nothing to compare it to. But regardless, she knew her time in Barbados with Regina and Henry would be one of the happiest weeks she’d ever experience in her lifetime. It wasn’t just the beautiful beaches, the exquisite food, the stunning hotel and service, the exotic countryside, and the incredible animals. It was the people she had shared every experience with.

Once buckled safely into her seat, Emma pulled out her cell phone and began to scroll through the endless photos she had snapped of the three of them over the week. Already a photo of the three of them at sunset had become her wallpaper. She laughed out loud at the picture of Henry and a monkey she had taken the evening before. Just the top of the boy’s head was visible, his nose sliced out of frame but wild excitement evident in his eyes and a curious young monkey stalking towards the beach towards him in the background. With Henry safely engrossed in a colouring book, Regina looked over Emma’s shoulder at the giggle and smiled too.

“I think we’ll need to get that one printed and framed,” she observed.

“Agreed,” Emma chuckled. “We should show it at his wedding too. Imagine how embarrassed he’d be.”

Regina laughed again but she wasn’t really thinking about her son’s embarrassment on a day at least two decades in the future. She was thinking instead about the fact that she really, really hoped it was Emma sitting beside her as they watched Henry get married. Emma coughed, breaking the silence which had settled over them. When Regina caught her eye, Emma looked away quickly. Evidently she hadn’t been the only one thinking of the implications behind the off-hand statement. Regina bit her lip before speaking.

“We should also show that one of him butt naked in the snorkel mask on the beach holding up that starfish,” Regina said. “I’m fairly sure he would never forgive us.”

Emma felt a wave of relief wash over her. She hadn’t freaked Regina out with her ridiculous talk of the future. She smiled widely at both the memory of Henry on the sand and the thought of her future with Regina. Her long, long, long future with Regina and Henry Mills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the fluff won’t last, just FYI.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: there are two storylines left to wrap up. And by wrap up I mean start. One of which begins in this chapter… Don’t forget that my tales always have a happy ending!

It was always hard to get back into the routine work after a vacation but this time Regina found it particularly difficult. She didn’t want to leave Henry and Emma that morning. She didn’t want to put on her restrictive tailored suit. She didn’t want to attend the weekly briefing. She didn’t want to face the mountain of emails she knew were waiting for her in the office. Well, there was one person whom she had hoped had emailed her back but she wasn’t optimistic. The trail they had been following had grown cooler and cooler over the month before their vacation. She doubted the investigator had turned up anything more whilst she had been away.

As soon as Regina sat down in her chair, the cool leather feeling unfamiliar and unwelcoming, Mary Margaret appeared in the doorway.

“You look great,” she said, walking into the office with a stack of memos. Regina didn’t know why they even used memos any more but she took the pile with a thank you. “How was your vacation?”

“Lovely, thanks,” Regina replied. “How was yours?”

The timing had ben coincidental but convenient. Mary Margaret and David’s honeymoon had overlapped with Regina’s vacation by five days, meaning her office had been on total lockdown for the duration. Which also meant there was even more work and notices to sift through than usual.

“Amazing,” Mary Margaret said, her grin almost splitting her face in two.

“Glad to hear it,” Regina said. “Is there anything urgent I need to address?”

“Nothing I know of but I only got in an hour ago so am yet to make it through all my messages. Oh and I believe Mrs Mills is on her way down here.”

Regina’s eyes snapped up from the note she was reading. “What? When?”

Before Mary Margaret could open her mouth to respond, there was a rap of knuckles on the open office door.

“Good morning,” Cora Mills said, sweeping breezily into the room. “I hope you’re already getting to work on those neglected cases.”

“Good morning, Mother,” Regina said, nodding to Mary Margaret and excusing her from the office which had suddenly become very tense. “How are you?”

“Busy,” Cora replied. “I’ve been picking up your slack.”

Regina sighed. “It was a one week vacation. I believe with the hours I work I’m entitled to that.”

Cora ignored her. Instead, she dropped three large files onto Regina’s desk and prodded the top one.

“I need this read and a plan for an acquisition formulated by this afternoon. The boss is coming at three to discuss it and I need you up to speed. The other two need to be presented on Wednesday when Mr Gold is coming in to speak with us.”

Regina pulled the top file towards her, opened it, and scanned the first page. Cora was already walking out of the office.

“I had a great time, by the way,” Regina called after her mother’s retreating back. “Henry, your grandson, did too. Thanks for asking.”

The door swung shut before the last words were even out of her mouth. Regina glowered at the frosted glass and punched the intercom button.

“Mary Margaret, get me a large coffee, please.” She opened the file once more, read the first sentence, and reached for the machine again. “And a blueberry muffin.”

Once her coffee and sweet treat had arrived, Regina put her new case-file away. She didn’t want to drop crumbs on it, after all. Instead she turned to her inbox which was, predictably, bulging. She scanned down the list until she spotted the name she had been hoping to see. Her heart skipped a beat. But as soon as she opened the email, any optimism she had felt at seeing his name, died. He’d found nothing. Their final clue had led nowhere. There was nothing more to look for and he thought she should give up. It was not possible to find Emma Swan’s son. Regina emailed him back, thanking him for his services and letting him know his cheque would be in the mail. Despondent, she began to work her way slowly through the correspondence related to her work.

* * *

Emma’s first day back was much more positive. Felix was overjoyed to see her and led her over to the craft corner where he proudly showed the blonde a painting of a desert island he had done whilst she was away. Mathew sidled up to the pair as Emma was admiring the artwork, pointing out his own painting of a lion stalking through the grasslands of Africa. At least, that’s what Emma presumed the yellow streaks at the bottom were supposed to be.

“How was your holiday, Emma?” Felix asked.

Emma beamed. It was rare for the boy to ask questions about other people, a feature of his introvert personality which she was trying hard to get him to focus on.

“It was lovely, thank you, Felix. I had a great time.”

“But now you’re back and you’re staying here?” he said, looking somewhat sceptically at her, as if he was expecting her to run out of the room any second and not come back. Emma knew that look. It was one she had worn many times as a foster child. The fear of being abandoned. Again.

“Yes,” Emma smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Felix smiled at her and seemed to be about to speak when Mal called Emma over to her office. She followed her boss and took the proffered seat. She’d already spoken to the older blonde about her holiday and been caught up on everything she’d missed the previous week so wondered why Mal wanted to speak to her. She hoped she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Two things,” Mal said, stopping Emma’s brain before it could concoct any awful scenarios of being fired or reprimanded. “Firstly, I’m looking for some more help on Thursday and Friday now intake has gone up and I wanted to offer the job to you before I advertise.”

“Go full time?” Emma asked, surprised.

“Basically,” Mal nodded. “You’d do exactly what you do on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday but all week. I know you have your regular afternoon with Regina and Henry on Fridays so I’d understand if that made you hesitate but I’d really like it if you’d consider my offer. You’d also be salaried, as a full-time member of staff. Medical benefits and paid leave too.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Mal smiled. You’re doing great here, Emma. I’m so glad you were referred to us.”

“Wow, thanks,” she said. “I do love working here. The kids are great and you and the rest of the staff have been so supportive what with the trial and everything. But I need to discuss it with Regina. I hope you understand.”

“Of course,” Mal nodded. “You have about a week before I’m going to open up the job to other applicants.”

Emma nodded her understanding, her mind already racing. “Was there something else?” she asked. “You said firstly.”

“Oh just that I won’t be here on Wedensday. My daughter is coming to town tomorrow evening and we’re going to drive up to see my mother. Annual, obligatory visit but since Lil is only speeding through the city on her way back home, I’m having to miss work to fit it in. I’ll try to get here before everyone leaves but Ursula will be in charge that day.”

“No problem,” Emma said. “Family matters more than work, after all.”

“Indeed,” Mal said suddenly thinking that she’d made visiting her mother sound like a chore. She wondered what Emma Swan would give to have a family she could visit, even if they did annoy the hell out of her and disapprove of her life choices.

* * *

Emma broached the subject of her promotion as soon as she’d finished the re-heated dinner her girlfriend had prepared for her that evening. Regina was chewing on a pen as she read a file on the couch but she set her work aside when Emma began to talk. She listened patiently to the blonde who was clearly nervous about what she was saying. Regina couldn’t tell however if the young woman was more worried about taking a full time job or no longer being able to spend her Fridays with Regina and Henry. Both concerns were, in Regina’s eyes, adorable.

“What do you think?” Emma finished at last.

“I think you should take it,” Regina said, without hesitation. “You should have taken it on the spot, Emma.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Regina assured. “This is amazing, Emma. This is a great opportunity for you and I am sure you’re going to be fantastic. It will give you even more time with these kids who clearly love you to pieces. I mean, who wouldn’t,” she added, moving towards the blonde and then straddling her lap, kissing her nose. “You’ve been doing great at the centre, right? You enjoy your job. You want to keep doing it. This is the next logical step. And yes, of course Henry and I will miss you on Fridays and it means we won’t eat dinner together as a family that often but frankly those things don’t matter in comparison to the opportunity Mal is offering you.”

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina’s body, her palms lying flat against her back and stroking absentmindedly over the soft cotton t-shirt. She chewed her lip, thinking.

“I won’t see Henry much,” she mused.

“You’ll still be taking him to nursery every morning,” Regina pointed out.

“And it means you’ll have to wait for me every night to eat dinner.”

“Don’t feel guilty about that because I don’t always wait. I didn’t tonight, for example. Sometimes I eat with Henry because I’m hungry. But I don’t mind waiting for you, Emma. And my eating pattern is certainly no reason to not take a job.”

“Ruby will have to look after Henry at Granny’s on Friday.”

“Ruby managed to do that for almost two years before you appeared in our lives.”

Emma looked up into the kind brown eyes above her and sighed. “What if I let them down?”

“What do you mean?” Regina asked, a slight frown on her face.

“What if I take this job and then I don’t perform? What if I’m not good enough to be working there full time? What if these new kids don’t like me? What if Mal realises this was all a terrible mistake and fires me? What then?”

Regina pulled her almost tearful girlfriend into her arms, hugging her tightly and stroking her hair. Emma hugged her back, gripping onto the only thing that made sense in her life. Well, Regina made sense. Why she was with a street rat like Emma was still a mystery. But everything else was just so … surreal. Emma couldn’t possibly believe that her life was moving in the direction it seemed to be hurtling. If this continued she might end up … normal.

“You’re scared,” Regina said when she finally pulled back. “You’re scared you won’t be able to live up expectations. But these expectations are in your head. You’re great at your job, Emma. Evidently, because Mal wouldn’t have offered you a full-time position if she didn’t believe in you. And you know the kids love you there. You’re bonding really well with lots of them, especially the foster kids. You get them. You understand them. That’s invaluable. It might have taken a while and I know you’ve been through hell but you’ve finally found something you’re really good at, working in a place where the people value and support you. This is a good thing, Emma. I promise you it’s going to be ok.”

“But nothing in my life ever goes to plan,” Emma protested, throwing her arms up in frustration. “Nothing I do ever works out. Everything always ends up shit eventually. If that happens to me now, I’m not sure I could survive falling so far.”

“You think that because you have a great job, great friends, me, Henry, justice for what happened to you, that something is going to go wrong?” Regina asked.

Emma shrugged. “It always has in the past,” she said. “I’m unlucky. Always have been.”

“Then maybe your luck’s about to change,” Regina said, kissing Emma lightly. “You deserve all of this, Emma. And you’ve worked really hard to get where you are. Don’t throw it away because you question your entitlement to your life. Me and Henry, Ruby and Dot, even August, we’re not going anywhere. Killian is in jail and staying there for fifteen years. The only piece of your life you might fuck up is your job. And I know you’re not going to do that. This work is made for you, Emma. You’re perfect in this role. Clearly Mal sees that too.”

* * *

Regina wasn’t sure exactly where Emma’s lack of self-confidence stemmed from. She supposed it was a combination of factors, from her abandonment as a baby to her fractured upbringing, from her time in prison to the way her relationship with Lily had ended. Yes, Emma certainly had confidence issues but Regina was hoping her new job was going to improve things for the young blonde. After all, getting the job itself had been a huge boost. So too had Killian’s trial result. Regina hoped their relationship in itself was giving Emma confidence. A belief that she could love again, could be loved herself, and that she deserved to be.

The brunette also knew there was something niggling at the back of Emma’s mind. Something she rarely spoke of. Her lost son. Regina’s initial search to find the boy might not have led anywhere but that didn’t mean she was giving up. She was also not telling Emma what she was doing. She didn’t see any reason to raise the blonde’s hopes when her chances of success were so slim. Regina felt guilty about doing her investigative work behind Emma’s back but she hoped the blonde would forgive her if and when she had some results to share with her. So far, however, she had nothing.

The private investigator she had hired to track down Emma’s records in prison had failed. She supposed she should be grateful. It wasn’t like she really wanted it to be easy for anyone to get their hands on convicts’ files. But it had been Regina’s first attempt. And it had been unsuccessful. Now she was at a loss for what to try next. She had called the prison herself but they had, unsurprisingly, not said anything remotely helpful to her. She even tried calling the agency through which Henry was adopted, just in case they had some sway with whoever in Phoenix had taken custardy of the child. They had refused to help, reminding Regina that her own adoption of Henry had been closed and that families who entered into those contracts usually did so for a reason. Whoever had adopted Emma’s child, probably didn’t want the biological mother showing up. Regina briefly wondered what would happen if Henry’s birth mother knocked on the door. Something inside her constricted uncomfortably.

Regina gave herself a little shake and focused once more on the computer screen in front of her. It was her lunch hour and she was searching the web for adoption agencies near the prison where Emma had served time, trying to track down who might have taken the little lost boy. She clicked the next link and searching for a number to call.

* * *

“And then she said she wanted me to go full time,” Emma finished, snapping her cookie in half and dunking it into her coffee. “I mean, me! She actually wants me to work there every day. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Not really,” August chuckled, running his hand over her smoothly-shaven chin. “You’re great with kids, Emma. I’ve seen you with those young runaways on the streets and they loved you. I’m sure you’re just as good with kids who have homes.”

Emma shrugged. “I dunno,” she said. “I just can’t believe anyone wants me to work for them.”

August shook his head in mild disbelief. Even now, after months of working at the youth centre, Emma still doubted her abilities. He leaned across the table where they were sitting in central park and took both of Emma’s hands in his own.

“Emma, you’re a bright young woman and you’re passionate about your job. I can completely believe that someone wants you to work for them. And I am sure you are going to do fantastically as a full time member of staff too. But you need to believe you can do it yourself. It can’t just be me and Regina saying you should take the job. You have to want it.”

“I do want it,” Emma said at once. “I do … I just don’t know if I can live up to expectations.”

“Have you done well so far as a part timer?” August reasoned.

“Yeah.”

“So what difference is a couple of extra days going to do?” he asked. “It’s the same job, Emma. But more hours, better pay, and benefits. Isn’t this what we dreamed of when we were huddled up in that tunnel all those months ago?”

Emma leaned back in the cafe chair and looked out across the park in the vague direction of their former ‘home’. It was late summer but the trees still held their green leaves tightly, not a whisper of autumn in the air. Within weeks however, the chill would arrive. She remembered the freezing nights she had spent with August, wishing for a hot cup of coffee or a shower or even a bed. Less than a year later … She sighed and looked back at her friend who was waiting patiently. She and August had met once a week since his release from rehab three months earlier. She enjoyed their coffees and talks but she was yet to introduce him to Henry and Regina . It wasn’t that August was struggling. On the contrary, he was clean and sober, and was holding down a job at a removal company. He was staying in a heavily subsidised apartment, arranged for him by his sponsor, and seemed relatively settled. At least, Emma didn’t think he’d be disappearing on her any time soon. She was beginning to trust him again, just not enough to introduce him to her new family. But she had told him about the job offer because she wanted and valued his opinion.

“Ok,” Emma nodded. “If you and Regina both think I can do this, then maybe I can believe that too.”

August grinned and gave her a high five. Emma laughed and settled back in her chair as August set off telling her about the beautiful divorcée whose house he had had the pleasure of boxing up and moving out the weekend before.

* * *

“I’ll do it.”

Mal looked up from her paperwork and pushed her glasses back up her nose. She looked rather dishevelled, a pile of paperwork spilling onto the floor just as Emma sat down.

“Do what?” Mal asked as she bent to retrieve the scattered documents.

Emma faltered. “The … the job. I’m sorry, did you change your mind? Do you not want me to -?”

“No, not at all,” Mal interrupted. “Of course I still want you to go full time. Sorry, I was rather distracted and for a moment I didn’t know what you were talking about. So you’ll accept?”

“Yes,” Emma nodded.

Mal’s face split into a wide smile. She stood and walked around her desk to embrace her employee. Emma was a little surprised but hugged her back.

“I’m so pleased, Emma. Really. Congratulations. I think you’ll be fantastic. Even more fantastic than you’ve already been.”

“Thanks,” Emma said. “I hope I live up to your expectations.”

“I’m sure you will,” Mal assured her, moving back around her desk and taking her seat.

“Can I help you?” Emma asked, realising her boss looked rather stressed. “I’m not too bad at paperwork and you look like you could do with a hand.”

“Thanks but these are just some files for the new kids starting next week. It’s nothing except busy work. Go ahead and get back to the children. I’ll be out for snack time at four thirty. If I don’t appear, come and drag me over and force me to eat a cookie. I just need to get everything done before my daughter arrives tonight.”

Rising to leave, Emma bumped into Felix and Mathew as soon as she left the office. They were whispering together but stopped when they saw her. She cocked her head with an inquisitive quirk of her lips.

“What’s up boys?” she asked.

“Nothing, Emma,” Mathew assured her. “Come on Felix. Let’s go and do that … thing.”

The two scuttled off past her towards the common area and Emma watched them go. She shook her head slightly before heading out in to the rear courtyard where a game of soccer was starting up. The fact that the reclusive little Felix had a friend at last made Emma realise that perhaps she was doing something right at the youth centre. Perhaps she was going to do well here after all.

After snack time, for which she indeed had to remind her boss to take a break, Emma joined Belle and some of the younger children in the reading corner. She moved slowly around the group, taking time to sit with each child and listen to them read. She corrected little pronunciation mistakes and asked them questions about the story as they went. Since she had started at the youth centre, library time had quickly become one of her favourite activities.

It was almost eight in the evening and the centre was emptying fast when she finally found out what Mathew and Felix had been talking about in the hall. The two boys ran up to her, excited grins on both their faces and they were clearly clutching something behind their backs.

“What’s up?” Emma asked, getting to her feet and stretching her legs out.

“We made you something,” Felix said, rocking on his toes in excitement.

“Yeah,” Mathew nodded. “To say thanks.”

“To say thank you for what?” Emma asked.

Mathew and Felix looked at each other before they both produced their secret items. Two homemade cards were handed to Emma, each with a drawing of two boys and a blonde woman on the front. Emma’s eyes filled with tears as she read the identical words.

‘Thank you for my friends’.

“These are amazing, guys,” Emma said, smiling down at the two boys. “I love them. Thank you so much.”

Mathew beamed but Felix looked worried.

“Why are you crying Emma?” he asked, panic evident in his tone.

“Oh, these are happy tears,” Emma assured him. “I’m crying because I’m happy.”

Felix frowned. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“No, but my sister does it too,” Mathew piped up. “Girls are weird.”

Emma laughed just as she spotted Ashley Boyd entering the centre. She waved and told Mathew to go and get his things whilst scouting the room for the rest of his siblings and cajoling them into getting ready too. Felix made his way over to the doorway with Emma. His foster father was usually late picking him up and he was accustomed to hanging around with the blonde until long after everyone else had left.

“Look what Mathew made me,” Emma said, handing over the card to Ashley who took it and smiled.

“You’ve made quite the impression on him, you know,” the other blonde said. “He talks about you all the time. You too, Felix. The others say how great you are too, by the way Emma, so I know it’s not just Matty latching onto people like he does.”

“He’s a great kid,” Emma said. “They all are.”

As she spoke, the door behind Ashley opened. Emma was about to greet the parent but as soon as the woman turned to face her, she froze.

There was a long silence. Felix and Ashley looked curiously between the two women staring at each other. Even Felix could tell that something, or rather someone, had seriously affected Emma. He shifted to stand closer to her, an urge to protect the blonde overwhelming him. Although from whom she needed protection, he wasn’t sure.

It was the stranger who broke the silence.

“Emma.”

“Lily.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: don’t worry guys! You know I never leave you hanging for long …

“You’re um … I mean … wow. You’re here,” Lily said, folding her arms awkwardly and shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Emma didn’t answer. There was no need. Lily could see perfectly well that her ex-girlfriend was standing in front of her. The ex-girlfriend she had disappeared on because she had met someone else. And now she was back. The daughter of Emma’s boss. Brilliant.

The blonde cast an eye over the woman she hadn’t seen in over a year. Lily looked a little thinner than she had been but her long dark hair was still in the braid she always wore down her back. Her skin was tanned and Emma remembered Mal mentioning a holiday to Florida. Presumably Lily still lived in the area then. Overall, the brunette had changed very little. Emma wondered what changes the other woman saw in her.

“Do you work here?” Lily asked when several awkward seconds had passed and it became apparent Emma wasn’t going to say anything.

“Yes,” Emma replied. “I … shit.”

She glanced over her shoulder towards the corridor that led to Mal’s office, ignoring the little gasp from Felix at the sound of the curse word. Was this it? Was this the thing which was going to lose Emma her job? She had thought it was all too good to be true. She had known something was going to come along and destroy her life. She just hadn’t expected it to be Lily.

“I have to go,” Emma said suddenly. “Bye Felix. Ashley, can you let Mal know I said have a good trip?”

The confused blonde mother nodded but said nothing. Emma walked quickly past Lily without looking at her and out into the twilight. She glanced up and down the street and rubbed her hands over her face, trying to focus. Home. That was where Emma needed to be. Setting off towards the subway, Emma’s mind went into overdrive.

How had this happened? How had Lily ended up being Mal’s daughter? What would Mal do when she found out? Would she fire Emma? And what was she going to tell Regina?

Emma was so wrapped up in her imploding life that she didn’t hear the footsteps hurrying up the street behind her.

“Emma, wait!”

She froze. She didn’t want to. She wanted to walk faster. She wanted to run but her legs wouldn’t let her. She didn’t want to speak to Lily, not again. Not here. She didn’t want to speak to the woman who had broken her heart. She closed her eyes.

“Emma, I’m sorry.”

When she opened her eyes, Emma looked for the first time into the familiar brown eyes of her ex. Lily was standing in front of her, a slightly pained look on her face. She tried to smile when Emma’s green eyes met her own but she couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I’m so sorry, Emma. For everything.”

“Forget it,” Emma muttered. “I have to get home.”

She went to move past Lily but the brunette held her hand out. Emma stopped at once. She didn’t want to touch Lily. She didn’t want Lily to touch her. She stepped back and folded her arms.

“What?”

“Please hear me out,” Lily pleaded. “Just give me ten minutes, that’s all I ask.”

Emma cast around for an excuse but she didn’t like lying. In fact she was bad at it. “I’m going to be late. I need to get going.” And it was true. Regina had become accustomed to her returning home at about eight thirty. Much later than eight forty-five and she began to worry.

“Five minutes then,” Lily bargained. “Please, Emma. There are some things I need to say to you.”

Lily had always been stubborn. Emma hesitated before nodding her head towards a cafe on the far side of the road. Lily followed her across the quiet street and they entered the almost empty establishment in silence. Emma sat down and Lily ordered them two teas before joining. Emma stared out of the window until Lily’s gentle tone forced her to look back at her ex.

“I’m sorry I left the way I did,” she began. “I’m sorry I took your things. And I’m really sorry I cheated on you. I didn’t mean to. It just … happened. We fell in love before we’d even realised and it was stupid and crazy and I never meant to hurt you. But I know I did and for that I will always be sorry.”

“Who was she?” Emma asked. She had always wondered, never been sure who exactly Lily had left her for. She’d had several suspicions, but nothing concrete.

“Jenny, from my work,” Lily said. “I think you met her once at the Christmas party.”

Emma nodded mutely. She knew who Jenny was; tall, blonde, athletic. She had been high on the list of possible home-wreckers. Clearly Lily had a type. Looking at her brunette ex with deep brown eyes, Emma noted she did too.

“You still together?” she asked, forcing her mind away from that realisation.

“We are,” Lily nodded just as the cups of tea arrived at their table.

Emma didn’t know if that was better or worse. She stared out of the window, unable to look any more into the face which was both incredibly familiar and a distant memory.

“I’m glad you got a good job,” Lily said. “When I found out you’d skipped town I was worried.”

“I’m doing just fine,” Emma spat, her voice angry at the insinuation that her life might not have turned out well. And Lily had no right to be worried about her, not when she was the one who had triggered the blonde’s downward spiral.

“Why did you leave?”

Despite herself, Emma stared at her ex incredulously. “Are you serious? Why did I leave? Why the fuck would I have stayed?” she hissed, keeping her voice low so as not to attract attention from the few other customers in the cafe. “You left me with nothing. _Nothing_. You screwed me over and abandoned me to our crummy, empty little apartment without a word. Why would I have stayed there? What, you thought I’d hang around until you rocked up again? I wanted to be as far away from you as I could be. I still want that,” she added.

Lily at least had the good grace to look guilty. She knew Emma was entitled to her anger but also she wanted the blonde to understand what had happened. At least, she had to try to make her understand.

“It was a mistake,” Lily offered.

“What? Leaving me or stealing all of my stuff?” Emma sneered.

“That wasn’t my idea,” Lily defended.

“What are you talking about?” Emma asked, exasperated and really wanting the conversation to end. She wanted to get home. She needed to get home. And by home, she meant Regina.

“It was Jenny’s,” Lily said. “She was the one who told me to take all your stuff. All our stuff.”

“Why?” Emma frowned, wracking her brains to see if there was a distant memory of her and Jenny which could possibly explain why the woman would want to screw her over so badly. She couldn’t think of anything.

“She said it was mine because I’d paid for it,” Lily shrugged. “She said that since I was the one supporting us, I had a right to take it when I left.”

“What?” Emma asked. “That’s bullshit. I was working too. I paid my half of the rent, didn't I? I paid for our food and bought my own clothes.”

“I didn’t take your clothes,” Lily pointed out quickly.

“Oh yes, I forgot. Because those few t-shirt and denim shorts really did me the world of good when I -.”

She stopped. She didn’t want to tell Lily what had happened next. She didn’t want her ex girlfriend to know how her life had gone steadily downhill from that day until Emma had resorted to living on the street, selling her own body and being raped as a result of that work. Several times. Lily didn’t need to know that. Emma might have been angry but she didn’t want to put that burden on Lily. No one deserved that.

“When you what?” Lily asked, reading the flicker of pain on Emma’s face with surprising accuracy given how much time they’d been apart. “Emma, what happened?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter,” Emma said shortly. “But what does matter is what you’re going to say to Mal. Are you going to tell her what happened between us? The truth, I mean, not whatever story you told yourself so you can sleep at night.”

“She knows about you,” Lily said. “I mean, I suppose she doesn’t know it’s actually you but she knew about you when we were together. She also knew I’d left you. For Jenny. She gave me such shit about it too. My dad ran off with another woman and she thought I was going to become just like him.”

“You have,” Emma pointed out. “But I really don’t care about that now, Lil.” The old nickname tripped off her tongue without conscious thought. She swallowed and continued. “I care about my job. I have a good life here and I enjoy working at the youth centre. Are you going to screw that up for me?”

“What? No!” Lily exclaimed. “Why would you think that?”

“You fucked me over in Florida,” Emma shrugged. “What’s to say you won’t do it again here. I don’t trust you any more, Lily. I _can’t_ trust any more.”

Lily looked guilty again. She knew what infidelity did to a person. She had seen her mother’s failed attempts at new relationships as she grew up. She hadn’t meant to do that to Emma. But she hadn’t meant to fall in love with Jenny either.

“So you want me to lie to my mother about knowing you?” Lily asked. “Because I will if you want me to, Emma. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Emma shook her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. She’ll probably be waiting to ask you what’s going on when you go back. Felix or Ashley will have told her how I practically ran out of there when you arrived. She’s smart. She’ll know we have history. She might even have worked that I’m that Emma.”

“So what do you want?” Lily asked.

“I want to keep my job,” Emma said simply. “I don’t want you to say anything bad about me to your mother. I don’t want her to look at me any differently now she knows about us. Can you … can you do that for me?”

“Of course,” Lily said at once. “Of course, I’ll do that. But you should also know my mother wouldn’t have fired you for a messy relationship which ended over a year ago, Emma. If she’s employing you, it’s because you’re good at your job and not what happens outside the youth centre. It’s a place for second chances, after all.”

“I just can’t lose this gig,” Emma sighed. “I love working here and it would devastate me if I was asked to leave.”

“That won’t happen,” Lily said solemnly. “I promise.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. Lily’s promises meant very little to her any more. The brunette seemed to recognise the sceptical look and shrugged with a half smile.

“I’ve got to get home,” Emma said, standing up and slinging her handbag over her shoulder.

“How is home?” Lily asked. “I mean … are you happy? Is everything good in your life?”

Emma glanced back with her hand on the door. “Yeah,” she replied. “Everything’s great.”

* * *

Regina wasn’t worried. Not yet. It was only twenty-five minutes after Emma usually got home and that probably just meant she had got stuck at work or there was a delay on the subway and she had forgotten to text her to let her know. She didn’t want to be one of those girlfriends who had to know where their partner was every second of every day. And she wasn’t, for the most part. But it was Emma. Emma, walking to and from the subway along dark New York streets. Ok, not dark. But it was night and Emma had been a victim in the past. She knew she was being paranoid. She knew she was projecting her own fears onto the situation. Emma hadn’t ever once mentioned that she was scared or felt vulnerable, and the second she did, Regina would have insisted Graham chauffeur the blonde every day to ensure she was safe.

Regina jumped when the penthouse door finally clicked open. She forced herself to remain where she was on the couch, her eyes glued to a page in her book she had been staring at for over ten minutes, not reading a word. She heard Emma dump her handbag unceremoniously on the hallway table and shuffle through into the kitchen. There was the opening and closing of the microwave door and then the clink of crockery and cutlery. Minutes later, there was a ping and the sound of scraping metal against china. Regina put her bookmark in place and turned towards the doorway just as Emma walked in.

“Good evening, my love,” she said, craning up to kiss Emma as the blonde passed her and sat down heavily on the far end of the couch, a plate of stew and potatoes balanced on her lap. “How was work?”

“Fine,” Emma said through a mouthful of food. “I accepted the full-time position. Oh and Felix and Mathew made me these two super cute cards thanking me for bringing them together as friends. They’re in my handbag, I’ll show you later.”

“They sound adorable,” Regina commented, her hand fidgeting in her lap. She didn’t want to ask the question reverberating in her head. She returned to her book, distracting herself

“Sorry I’m late,” Emma offered after she’d eaten half of her food.

“Oh are you?” Regina said, feigning surprise as she looked up. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Emma cast the woman a sideways look and raised her eyebrow. “Really? Come on, Regina. I know you worry about me. Unnecessarily I might add but worry you do.”

Regina ducked her head, avoiding Emma’s gaze. She hadn’t realised it was so obvious.

“So … may I ask why you’re a little delayed today?”

Emma nodded and put her plate of half-eaten food on the table. Regina looked alarmed and put her book beside the dish. It must be serious if Emma Swan had stopped eating. In unison, the two women turned to each other on the couch, legs crossed beneath their bodies.

“Ok, so the first thing I’m going to say is you can’t freak out.”

“Well now that’s exactly what I’m doing!” Regina protested, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. “Emma! What happened?”

“Nothing,” Emma said quickly. “Ok, not nothing. But it will be nothing. I promise.”

“Emma,” Regina said, her voice stern. The blonde was stalling and she wanted, needed, to know what was going on.

“I ran into Lily.”

There was a deafening silence. She didn’t need to say the woman’s full name for Regina to know exactly who Emma was talking about. The older woman could hear the blood pounding in her ears as she stared open-mouthed at the blonde. Emma was looking back at her, waiting for the news to sink in before she continued.

“So it turns out Lily is Mal’s daughter.” Regina’s mouth opened, if possible, even wider. “She’d taken her father’s surname which is why I never made the connection. Anyway, she is in town visiting and dropped by the youth centre this evening to meet Mal. I … well, I left almost as soon as I saw her but she followed me and persuaded me to allow her to talk.”

Regina’s fingernails were digging into the palms of her balled up fists. Lily was back in town? Lily had seen Emma? Lily had spoken to Emma? Lily, the woman who had broken Emma’s heart and left her to end up on the streets without a backwards glance. Regina felt her face burning with rage. Emma, of course, noticed.

“It’s ok,” Emma said at once, reaching out to cover one of Regina’s fists with her own hand. “I still hate her. She still fucked me over. I will never forgive her for what she did to me.”

“Then why did you talk to her?” Regina asked, her voice low and dangerous.

Emma sighed. “Because she begged me to. And a part of me wanted to know why. I’ve always wondered what went wrong, why she did it. She was offering me answers and I was curious. I’m sorry I didn’t text you to say I was going to be late but I was just so … confused. I didn’t mean to worry you, I just … needed some time to think.”

“Think about what?” Regina asked.

“What she said,” Emma replied. “What she did to me last year. I walked around the block a few times before coming up here. I needed to clear my head before I came in here and told you.”

“You planned to tell me?”

“Of course,” Emma replied at once. “I tell you everything, Regina.”

Regina nodded her head curtly at the reassurance. “Ok, so what did she say.”

“Sorry. A lot,” Emma began. “Not that she’s forgiven of course. She said that taking my things had been Jenny’s idea. Jenny is her colleague she left me for, by the way. Apparently the woman who broke us up also thought Lily should destroy the rest of my life too. Something about Lily having paid for the things and therefore being entitled to them. God knows why she’d have wanted reminders from the life we had shared in her new apartment but anyway, that was that. And she said she never meant to fall in love. Or out of love with me, I suppose. It just happened, I believe is how she phrased it.”

Emma brushed angrily at a tear which had leaked out of her eye. She hadn’t wanted to cry. She hadn’t wanted Regina to see how much Lily’s reappearance had affected her. The brunette said nothing as she leant forward and pulled Emma into a tight hug. Emma buried her face into the crook of her neck and sobbed. She let everything out. Everything she had been feeling towards Lily ever since that fateful day the previous May. The anger, the betrayal, the sadness, the heartbreak, the love. Because she had loved Lily. In fact, Lily had been the first person she had ever loved, aside from her son. But that love had been lost, destroyed. And so she cried for it, in the arms of the woman who now held her heart. The woman who loved her so fiercely Emma felt consumed by it in the most powerful, wonderful, intoxicating way.

As last, she pulled back. Regina gently wiped her tear-streaked face and dabbed her own wet eyes with a tissue. They settled back against the couch, still facing each other.

“She’s not going to say anything back to Mal about me,” Emma sniffled. “I asked her not to.”

“What do you mean?” Regina frowned.

“I thought she might have, I don’t know, lied to Mal about us. Made it seem like the break up was my fault somehow and get me fired. But she promised me she wouldn’t.”

“Why would she have every done that?” Regina asked, a bite in her tone. “Why would she want to hurt you any more than she already has?”

“I don’t know,” Emma shrugged. “It was just the first thing which popped into my head when I saw her. Before I even thought of my anger towards her or the pain I felt at seeing her again, I worried about my job and whether or not I might be about to lose it. Is that crazy?”

Regina shook her head. “No, it’s not crazy. It just shows that you care far more about your job than you do about the woman who walked out of your life over a year ago. It shows you’ve moved on, Emma. Despite all this sadness you’re feeling right now, your job matters more to you now than an old flame.”

“I do love my job,” Emma said. “And I don’t want to lose it. I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I thought Lily might have been that shoe.”

“She’s not that malicious, is she?” Regina asked. Lily might have done some terrible things to Emma in the past but now they were discussing sabotage. Regina thought that seemed too evil, even for the woman who had devastated her girlfriend the previous year.

“No,” Emma said. “No, she’s not. It was just me jumping to the worst possible conclusion like I always do. When your life rarely goes to plan, it’s hard not to.”

“Well I’d say your life is going pretty much to plan now,” Regina commented. “Aside from the surprise visit from your ex girlfriend. You have an amazing, full-time job. You’re in a stable, loving relationship.” She placed a firm kiss to Emma’s lips before continuing. “You have Henry who adores you. And you have a home.”

“I do,” Emma nodded with a smile. “All that’s left is for me to find my son and make sure that, wherever he is, he’s happy too.”

Regina bit her lip. Emma frowned at the sight of pearly white teeth worrying the plump lower lip. Usually she would want to reach over and capture that lip between her own. But the look in Regina’s eyes told her now wasn’t the time.

“What?” she asked. She didn’t think she could take much more emotional talk that day but she could tell Regina had something important to say to her. Something about a little lost boy.

“Ok, now it’s your turn to promise not to get mad at me.”

“Regina,” Emma warned, sitting up straighter. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I’ve been looking for your son.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just love the cliffhangers!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You’re in luck! The internet was down at work this morning so I had very little to do except type for you lovely people so I could upload as soon as I got home (back to civilisation!)

“What?”

“Don’t get mad,” Regina repeated, reaching for Emma’s hands.

“I’m not mad,” Emma said, pulling her hands out of Regina’s reach even as she spoke. “But … what?”

Regina took a deep breath.

“After we spoke about your son and you said how much you wanted to know that he was ok. I did some digging.”

“Digging?” Emma asked. Her heartbeat quickened.

“I’m a lawyer, have access to large databases and my mother’s firm is well connected and respected,” Regina said. “I thought I might be able to find something you couldn’t.”

“And did you?”

Regina bit her lip. “No.”

Emma closed her eyes and let her head fall against the back of the couch. She had, just for a moment, believed she was about to find her son.

“I’m sorry,” Regina said. “I didn’t mean to give you false hope. In fact, I wasn’t going to tell you at all, not if I didn’t find anything.”

“Why were you even looking?” Emma said, a hint of annoyance in her tone. “I mean, why didn’t you tell me? Or ask my permission, perhaps?”

Regina felt a wave of guilt wash over her at the accusations.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you, Emma,” she began. “And I’m not looking any more. The last idea I had didn’t pan out so I’ve had to give up. But I wanted to see if there was anything worth pursuing before I told you. Like I said, I didn't want to get your hopes up.”

“So you just went behind my back instead?” Emma asked, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

Regina swallowed. She forced herself not to reach out and touch Emma’s back which was firmly, symbolically directed towards her.

“I did.”

Emma let out a long, weary sigh. “I’ve had a really long day and I don’t want to talk about this right now. But please don’t do that again. I know you were doing what you thought was best,” Emma turned as she spoke, “but I can search for my son on my own. If I want your help, I’ll ask for it. I don’t appreciate being lied to.”

“I never lied to you,” Regina protested, sitting up straighter and moving towards Emma. The blonde shifted further away and Regina stopped at once. “I never lied, Emma. I told you the moment your son came up in conversation.”

“But you didn’t tell me when you started,” Emma pointed out. “To me, that’s lying. You kept something pretty fucking massive from me and … look, you know I don’t trust easily and after seeing Lily again today I’ve been reminded why. Please, please don’t do anything like this again. I … it’s too much. I can’t deal with dishonesty.”

Regina’s eyes filled with tears as Emma spoke. The blonde smiled sadly at her before standing up and walking out of the room. Regina curled up on the couch and cried into a pillow, muffling her sobs. What had she done? Why hadn’t she just told Emma? She knew her reasons at the time had made sense: not wanting to get her hopes up, doubtful if she’d even find anything etc. But when she had said them out loud to Emma, she had realised that for someone with such severe trust issues, those excuses were pathetic and meaningless. She should have told Emma. She should have asked her permission, discussed her ideas with her, not treated her like a child who was too sensitive to be involved. Emma wasn’t as fragile as Regina made her out to be. Most of the time, at least. The one area of their relationship which needed particular care, however, was their honesty and trust between one another. And Regina had damaged it.

By the time Regina made her way to their bedroom, the lights were off. She went about her nightly routine and then slipping beneath the covers, settling down against the cool, crisp sheets. She hesitated before she whispered through the darkness.

“Are you awake?”

“Yes,” came the murmured reply.

After a moment’s hesitation, Regina reached out a hand and felt for Emma’s beneath the duvet. She found it and let out a sigh of relief when Emma allowed her to interlace their fingers. She squeezed softly before continuing.

“I don’t like to go to bed on an argument,” she said. “I’m really sorry, Emma. Please forgive me.”

“We’re not arguing,” Emma said, the sheets rustling as she turned towards Regina. The brunette let out a little shiver as Emma’s hand came to rest tenderly on her stomach, fingers stroking her skin through the thin silk nightgown. “I’m not angry with you, Regina. I’m just … disappointed.”

Regina swallowed thickly. That was even worse. She felt tears sting her eyes again and was glad the room was dark. She didn’t want Emma to know how much her heart was breaking at that moment.

“I’m sorry,” Regina whispered, the words catching in her throat. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Emma said. “I just thought you understood. I thought you were the one person in the world who understood how important it is for me that people tell me the truth. That’s all I ask for, Regina. I could have dealt with the anticipation and then the let down of your search. I would have given you permission to look, and thanked you a thousand times for trying. But you didn’t believe I was strong enough to cope. You didn’t trust me to know what I’m capable of. I’ve been searching for people my whole life, Regina. First my parents, then my son. Even Neal for a while. I know how it feels to hit dead end after dead end. I can deal with that. If I didn’t think I could, I wouldn’t have been looking myself.”

“You’ve been looking too?” Regina asked.

“I’m always looking,” Emma sighed.

“Did you find anything?” Regina said, turning onto her side and shuffling a little closer to Emma, looping her arm around the blonde’s waist.

“No,” Emma replied. “Nothing.”

Regina closed the narrow gap between their bodies and pulled Emma into her arms. She hugged her tightly and peppered kisses along her neck. Emma’s arms gripped her too, their legs intertwined.

“I love you,” Regina whispered as she pulled back slightly to kiss Emma’s lips. “And I’m sorry.”

“I love you too,” Emma murmured, prying Regina’s lips open with her own. “And I forgive you.”

* * *

Emma dawdled outside Henry’s nursery the next morning. She waved at him until he disappeared inside and then stood for another five minutes, staring at nothing in particular in the playground. The walk to his nursery that morning had been the moment Emma had chosen to tell the little boy that she had a new job. A full time job. One that meant she wasn’t going to be able to spend Thursday and Friday afternoon with him. He had pouted and grumbled about the loss of his special Emma time but when she promised to make up three new Marlo stories that weekend, he had perked up. Emma wished she could be so easily placated.

She wasn’t angry with Regina. She really wasn’t. Disappointed, yes, but not angry. She had kissed her girlfriend goodbye before Regina left for work, promising to text her that evening if she got held up at work. Which, with Mal’s absence, was a distinct possibility. As she meandered back to the penthouse, Emma thought about what Regina had done for her. She had searched, hard by the sound of it, for a lost little boy who had been swallowed up by an impenetrable system. Regina had tried to use her position, her power, to break through. For Emma. She pulled out her cell and sent a quick text just as she entered the apartment block.

* * *

Regina hid her face behind the sheafs of paper she was holding as she rolled her eyes. Mr Gold really was the most dreadful bore. She glanced around the conference table and noted that many of the other lawyers in the meeting were wearing rather glazed expressions. Only Cora Mills was sat with rapt attention, nodding enthusiastically in agreement as Gold spoke. It was sickening really, Regina thought. You could practically smell the woman’s desperation. Regina’s mind wandered to her deceased father but before she could tumble too far down memory lane, her cell phone vibrated. Cora shot her a dirty look at the interruption but Regina just ignored her. Opening the new text, she felt the smile spread steadily over her face as she read.

_I’m sorry about last night. I’d had a stressful day and I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I really appreciate what you tried to do, even if you kept it from me. You’re the best girlfriend in the world and I can’t wait to see you tonight and hold you in my arms. E x_

“Something you’d like to share with the rest of us?”

Regina’s eyes snapped up at the sound of her mother’s voice. Everyone around the table was looking at her. Her cheeks pinked.

“No, sorry.” She quickly pocketed her phone without finishing her reply.

“Oh don’t be shy, Regina. Clearly your text was about something frightfully important if you were distracted enough to ignore the question Mr Gold just asked you.”

Regina’s gaze flickered to the ageing man sat beside her mother. He was wearing a slightly amused expression. As a corporate lawyer she supposed he rather enjoyed the tension which was now filling the room.

“Apologies, Mr Gold,” Regina forced herself to say. “What did you ask me?”

“I wanted to know if you had been able to come to an agreement with Turner and Co. about the termination of their contract.”

“Oh, yes,” Regina nodded, reaching quickly for the relevant document and passing it up the table to Mr Gold.

Cora looked at her daughter with a curious expression. It was almost as if she was disappointed. Not in Regina, but in her ability to have provided Mr Gold with what he wanted. As if she had wanted her to … fail? Regina mentally shook herself. What would her mother gain from her only daughter looking foolish in front of their entire office? She forced herself to focus on whatever Mr Gold was talking about and made a mental note to reply to Emma at lunch time.

* * *

It took Ursula less than five minutes to bring Lily up in conversation when Emma arrived at work that afternoon. As the blonde had expected, their brief, awkward encounter the previous evening had not gone unnoticed and as soon as Lily had returned from the cafe, the truth had come out.

“Seriously? You and Lily were an item?” Ursula asked as she laid out the food in preparation for the children arriving that afternoon.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded.

“What happened?” she asked.

Emma hesitated before replying. If Lily had kept her word, Mal would know the truth and that Lily had left Emma. If she had lied then Emma could be seen as vindictive if she told Ursula what really happened.

“Mal said Lily left you,” Ursula continued before Emma had a chance to say anything. “Is that true?”

“Yeah,” Emma said again.

“Shit. Sorry, mate,” Ursula said, beckoning Emma to follow her out into the yard where the two of them began to tidy up and get out the sports equipment. “Is that how you ended up on the streets?”

“Yeah, but Lily doesn’t know about that part of my life. I didn’t tell her.”

Ursula raised her eyebrows. “You don’t think Mal will say something?” she pointed out. “They’re driving to Connecticut and back today. That’s a long car journey. Pretty sure you’re going to come up at some point.”

Emma hadn’t thought of that. She had been so wrapped up in Lily not telling Mal anything which might jeopardise her job that she hadn’t considered the fact that her boss knew literally everything about how awful Emma’s life had become after the break-up. Ursula seemed to read Emma’s panicked expression and patted her shoulder.

“It’ll be fine,” she said, unconvincingly.

The rest of the day dragged by for Emma. She was just waiting. Waiting for Mal to walk back through the door with Lily. Waiting for Lily to look at her with pity in her eyes. Even playing a new, complicated card game with Felix and Mathew didn’t distract her. They kept having to tap her on the arm and pull her attention back to the room as she stared off into space, her mind coming up with endless scenarios for how Lily would react. She didn’t think any of them were favourable.

As evening crept in, Emma’s eyes snapped to the door every time it opened. But it was always just parents or older siblings coming to collect the children. She greeted them with a fake smile and helped the kids to gather their things. The centre was almost empty by seven thirty and Emma was beginning to think Mal wouldn’t make it back in time. Lily left New York the following morning, she knew, so maybe she wouldn’t have to see her ex again.

Reappearing from the back yard where she had climbed up a tree to retrieve a soccer ball for two girls, Emma stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was standing by the front door.

“Surprise,” Regina said.

“Hi Emma!” Henry grinned, running across the room and leaping into her arms.

“Hey kid,” she said, hoisting him up onto her hip. “What are you doing here?”

“It was Mama’s idea,” Henry announced. “She said we could go for pizza and then come here to see you.”

Emma looked at Regina who was still standing by the door. She looked as if she wasn’t sure coming had been a good idea. Emma crossed the room and gave her a lingering kiss.

“Hi,” Emma murmured. “Thanks for coming.”

Regina wrapped her arms around the two of them and kissed both their cheeks. Her body practically sighed with relief.

“How was your day?” Regina asked.

“Fine,” Emma said, putting Henry, who had begun to wriggle, on the floor and watching him run off towards the books. “Ursula grilled me for about half an hour about Lily but I expected that.”

“And is she -?”

“Here? No,” Emma said. “They’re not back yet. And since we’re so quiet now, I’ll ask Ursula if I can knock off early. I assume you saved some pizza for me?”

Regina nodded and Emma grinned, kissing her once more before disappearing off into Mal’s office where Ursula had taken up residence to fill in the paperwork for the evening. The older woman assured Emma she could manage the closing up on her own and thanked the blonde for all her work. Grabbing her handbag, Emma wished Ursula goodnight and headed back to the main room. As she entered, she stopped dead in her tracks. Again.

“You’re back.”

“I am,” Lily replied. “Mom insisted on coming here and checking everything went well. She’s just parking up but I’m glad I ran into you before you left. I wanted to speak to you about something if you have time. It’s important.”

Emma glanced at Regina. It was obvious her girlfriend knew exactly who had just walked in. Her hands had clenched into fists by her side. Walking quickly towards Regina, Emma looped her arm around the slender waist before turning to face Lily again.

“So I suppose I should introduce you two. Regina, this is Lily. Lily, this is Regina, my girlfriend.”

Lily didn’t look the slightest bit surprised at the news and held out her hand courteously for Regina to shake. There was a split second pause but when Emma’s fingers dug gently into Regina’s waist she reached out and took it.

“Nice to meet you,” Lily said. “I’m glad Emma’s found someone who appreciates her and makes her as happy as she deserves.”

“Thanks,” Regina said shortly.

“I’m afraid I don’t have time to talk, Lily. It’s past a certain person’s bedtime already so we’d better get going,” Emma said, not wanting the conversation to continue for any longer than it needed to and definitely not wanting to talk to Lily alone. “Henry,” she called. “Come on, we’re going home.”

Obediently the small boy closed the book he had been reading, replaced it on the shelf and trotted over to the group. Noting the appearance of the tall stranger, he instinctively reached for Emma’s hand. Lily’s eyes drifted down to him and she gasped.

“Oh Emma! You found him!”

“What?” Emma frowned. “Found who?”

Lily looked up at her ex in equal confusion. “What do you mean? You found your son.” She gestured to Henry.

Emma and Regina both frowned now but it was Regina who spoke first.

“Henry’s mine actually,” she said. “We’re … well, we’re still looking for Emma’s son.”

“Oh,” Lily said, eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume. He just looks so like you, Emma. I mean, his eyes are almost identical to yours.”

Emma opened her mouth to reply but just as she did so, her boss walked through the door. Mal glanced between the three women and gave a genuine smile. Clearly the palpable tension in the room hadn’t yet reached her.

“Hi ladies, I see you’ve met my daughter. Again,” she added, looking at Emma.

“Mal, I can explain,” Emma began but Mal held up a hand.

“No need,” she assured. “Lily told me what happened and I’ve told her she was a complete idiot for leaving you. Although her idiocy obviously worked out well for you, my dear,” she smiled at Regina. “Anyway, Lily also told me you were worried about your position here now that I know your history and I just want to say you needn’t. I hired you because you’re great at your job, and as long as you continue to perform well, there’s no problem.”

“Thank you,” Emma said, relief washing over her. “That means a lot.”

“Of course,” Mal smiled. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to check on a few things. Lily, give me ten minutes. Regina and Henry, it’s been short but sweet. And Emma, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

With that, the older blonde swept towards her office, leaving the foursome still standing awkwardly by the door.

“Well we’d better get going,” Regina said after a pause. “Henry, come on.”

Henry reached for his mother’s hand and the two of them headed out of the centre.

“Bye,” Emma said, holding out her hand for Lily to shake. “And thanks for telling your mom the truth.”

“Of course,” Lily said. “But I still want to talk to you.”

“Sorry, Lily,” Emma shrugged. “I can’t. Regina and Henry are waiting for me. I have to go.”

She pushed the door open and stepped out onto the street. She saw Graham leaning against the town car on the far side of the street. Henry and Regina were looking each way in preparation to cross the road. She hurried to join them and took hold of Henry’s other hand. They had almost reached the other side when they heard the shout.

“Emma, wait!”

They stepped onto the sidewalk and, in unison, turned around. Lily glanced both ways and then dashed between two cars to join them.

“Lily, please,” Emma said, stepping in front of Regina and Henry. “Not now.”

“I just wanted to say sorry.”

“You said that yesterday,” Emma reminded her.

“No, not for that,” Lily said. “I’m sorry for what happened to you after I left. Mom told me.”

And there it was. Emma closed her eyes and exhaled. So now Lily knew. She knew how Emma had fallen apart. How she had become a prostitute. How she had lived on the street. How she had been raped.

“I’m so sorry for everything you went through,” Lily said. “I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I thought you’d be alright.”

“Alright?” Emma whipped around at the sound of Regina’s voice, cold and hard. She saw Henry shrink into his mother’s side at the tone. She wasn’t surprised; it had scared her too. “How was she going to be alright? You left her. You broke her heart and you left her with nothing. What did you think she was going to do? Did you really believe her life was going to be all unicorns and rainbows after being so thoroughly fucked over?” Henry’s eyes went wide. He knew that was a bad word. Tears started to form. “Stay away from my girlfriend,” Regina continued, taking a step forward. “Stay away from her and our family. I don’t want to see you ever again and you are not to try and contact her either. She’d done with you. She’s moved on. And yes, it took time and some bad things happened but she’s come out the other side a stronger, better, and more incredible woman. She doesn’t need you. She doesn’t need your apologies or your pity. She needs you to stay the fuck away from her. Got it?”

Lily took a step backwards, her face white. Emma remained rooted to the spot, stunned.

“Y- yes,” Lily managed to stammer. “I’m sorry, Regina. I didn’t mean -,”

“Go,” Regina hissed, narrowing her eyes.

Lily glanced once at Emma and then turned, running back across the road and disappearing into the youth centre. Once the door had closed, Regina’s legs began to tremble. Emma caught her just before she hit the ground.

“Shhh, it’s ok,” she comforted, feeling the wetness against her neck where Regina’s tearful face was buried. Henry began to cry too and Emma put her arm around his little body.

“What’s going on?”

Emma looked up gratefully at Graham and together they heaved the two Mills’ into the back of the town car. The drive home was silent except for crying. The pizza box lay untouched on the seat. By the time they had arrived up at their penthouse, Henry was asleep in Graham’s arms. Emma deposited a still sobbing Regina on the couch and then took the small boy. Thanking Graham, Emma quickly put Henry to bed before returning to her girlfriend.

“I’m sorry,” Regina cried as soon as she saw Emma. “I’m sorry, Emma. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s ok,” Emma soothed. “No need to apologise. Really, I appreciate everything you said.”

“But what about your job?”

Emma shrugged. “You heard Mal. She’s employing me because I’m good at my job. I doubt my girlfriend shouting at her daughter for something she too condemns is going to be a problem.”

“Do you think so?”

“I’m sure of it,” Emma said, marvelling briefly at how much had changed in just twenty-four hours. “We’re going to be fine, Regina. My job’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine once you realise how fucking awesome you just were. Henry’s going to be fine once we explain to him that the word fuck is … well, I’m going to leave that explanation to you.” Regina managed a giggle. “And we’re all going to be fine because I’m pretty sure I’m never going to see or hear from Lily again.”

Regina cuddled up even closer to Emma and inhaled her unique, sweet scent. She could hear Emma’s heart. Her strong, loving heart beating beneath her ribcage.

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” Emma whispered, kissing her girlfriend tenderly until the tears stopped and the touches deepened and they found themselves undressing and stroking and gasping and sucking and cresting in each others arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: for those of you who thought things weren’t quite resolved with Lily after yesterday’s chapter … no need to doubt me! I’m always going to make sure the bad characters get what they deserve!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m anticipating this fic to have about five more chapters … ish. Just so you know and can begin to prepare yourselves.

The weekend couldn’t come quickly enough for Emma and Regina. After everything that had happened since they returned from their vacation, both were in desperate need of some time alone together. With Henry, of course.

Regina’s outburst at Lily hadn’t been mentioned by Mal and Emma assumed her ex girlfriend had not confided in her mother how the beautiful brunette had given her a rather severe tongue lashing. Emma wasn’t surprised. Lily didn’t like to lose face, so admitting how Regina had, justifiably, laid into her wasn't something Lily would have wanted to advertise. Emma completed her first week of full time work without incident and was rewarded with an expensive bottle of wine from Ursula, Belle and Mal on Friday evening. Maybe, Emma thought as she walked to the subway after her shift had finished, maybe this was all going to work out.

The wine had been drunk in accompaniment with a delicious three course meal Regina had cooked for Emma. It was the first time they had eaten together that week and Emma reached past a grand congratulatory bouquet of flowers and across the table before they began and told Regina how much she loved her. Just in case the brunette didn’t know. Regina had assured her that she did. Henry was asleep by the time Emma returned but she had popped into his room and kissed his forehead, as she did every night after work. Yes, Emma thought as she closed her eyes that night, Regina’s arms wrapped around her and their bodies tired and satiated. Life was good.

* * *

“But it’s nearly September,” Henry whined, his little lips pouting and his eyes wide.

“Three more days,” Regina said. “It’s important to be patient, remember?”

Henry scowled and scooped up some cereal with too much force so the milk splashed onto the table. Regina said nothing and instead leaned over and wiped up the mess just as Emma entered the room.

“Emma, I can talk about my birthday, can’t I?”

“What?” the blonde said, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

Regina smiled at her sleepy girlfriend before she explained. “Henry’s not allowed to talk about his birthday until the first day of September. Otherwise our entire lives get taken over by parties, don’t they mister.”

Henry ignored her and instead turned his well-practiced pleading face to Emma. The blonde’s own green eyes widened comically. She had far less experience of resisting the adorableness that was Henry Mills.

“Henry, why don’t you go and get dressed and then we can get going.”

The little boy frowned further at his mother’s ability to foil his plan. He had thought he would have been able to get past Emma. She was far more malleable but it seemed he would have to come up with a different approach. He slid out of his chair and headed down to his room, arms folded to make sure his mother knew he was annoyed.

“Where are you going?” Emma asked, pouring herself a mug of coffee and taking a seat next to Regina.

“To see my mother,” Regina replied.

Emma almost choked. “What? Why?”

There had been no mention of Regina’s mother all week. In fact, Cora Mills rarely came up in conversation any more. Emma wasn’t exactly sad about that but she did think it was a shame that her girlfriend’s relationship with her remaining parent had been damaged.

“It’s the anniversary of my father’s death.”

“Oh God! Regina, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s quite alright,” Regina soothed the blonde. “I never told you. How would you know? But it’s a tradition for us to meet up with my mother and go up to the cemetery together. You may come if you like?”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Emma said. “I mean, this is a family thing. I don’t think your mom would want me there.”

In fact Emma knew Cora would most certainly not want the blonde there. She had hadn’t seen her since the trial and had no desire to meet her again. She had had enough of people looking at her as if she wasn’t worthy of Regina. If Emma was going to start believing her own self-worth, she needed to stay far away from people like Cora.

“But Henry and I would like for you to come,” Regina said. “I don’t want you to join if you’d feel uncomfortable but please don’t think you’re not invited. I’m sorry I didn’t mention it but what with everything which has happened this week, the date almost crept up on me. Mother came into my office yesterday morning to remind me. Funny, actually, since it’s usually me reminding her.”

Cora Mills hadn’t exactly been devastated by her husband’s untimely death. Their marriage had been more of a business arrangement between their two families than one borne of love. Regina had been their common ground. Until she came our as gay, whereby her mother had become more distant. Her plans to make Regina a lawyer in her firm continued but they lost any closeness they had enjoyed.

“How many years has it been since he died?” Emma asked, suddenly realising she knew very little about how Henry Senior had passed away, aside from the fact that he been killed in a traffic collision.

“Seven,” Regina replied.

“Did … did Dani ever go with you to the cemetery?” Emma asked

“Every year,” Regina nodded.

Emma considered her girlfriend. For someone who had suffered such loss in the space of just a few short years, she didn’t look too upset by the mention of her deceased wife. Emma was glad. She hadn’t wanted to make Regina feel sad but she also wanted to be sure going to the cemetery with the little family was a good idea. Emma knew Regina incredibly well by now and knew that although the brunette was putting on a brave face, she was going to find the day difficult. Emma hoped her presence might make things just a bit easier.

“Ok,” Emma nodded. “I’ll come with you. Just give me twenty minutes to shower and get dressed.”

* * *

Cora Mills was leaning against the stone wall of the church. She was scrolling through the emails on her cellphone and didn’t hear the car approaching until the door slammed shut. Glancing up, she sighed deeply when she saw who her daughter had brought along. Emma Swan. Brilliant. She returned her attention to her emails until her grandson ran up and tugged on the hem of her skirt, wanting her attention.

“Hi Grandma,” Henry said. “Look what Emma bought me to give to Grandpa.”

He held up a little model of a horse. Cora looked up at her daughter and Emma who had just joined them. Regina was wearing a black dress and Emma too seemed to have made an effort to look smart and respectful. Despite the expensive pant suit she was wearing, Cora could still see a woman who didn’t belong with her daughter.

“Good morning,” she said stiffly.

“Good morning, Mother,” Regina said. “You remember Emma, right?”

Cora simply pursed her lips and said nothing.

“It’s lovely to see you again, Mrs Mills,” Emma said, offering her free hand to the older woman. Her other had was clutching a wreath Regina had ordered from a florist.

“Come on, I’ve got lunch plans,” Cora said, turning away from Emma’s extended hand without taking it, picking up a bouquet of white tulips she had put on a nearby bench, and making her way down the narrow gravel pathway which weaved through the headstones.

Regina glanced sideways at Emma and shook her head. There was no use calling her mother out on her rudeness. Instead, she laced their fingers together and, with Henry trotting ahead of them, they strolled off after the retreating form of Cora.

The graveyard was quiet, a few visitors standing silently at gravesides, laying flowers or tidying the first autumn leaves from the ground where their deceased beloveds lay. Regina said nothing as she walked. She kept her eyes forward, refusing to allow her gaze to drift over to the other side of the cemetery. She was relieved when they stepped onto the grass and turned away from the church, heading towards her father’s grave and away from Dani’s. Emma walked beside her, oblivious to her girlfriend’s thoughts.

The little group stopped in front of an ornate crypt. Emma’s mouth dropped open as she read the inscription above the door. Cora fished in her pocket for a key and slipped it into the heavy padlock. Seconds later the door swung open and she stepped inside.

“You have a family mausoleum?” Emma whispered.

Regina nodded tersely, released Emma’s hand and walked inside, Henry following close behind her. The air in the dark room was cold and smelt faintly of damp. Cora was fiddling in a box at the back and seconds later the electric lamps flickered to light. Emma’s eyes widened as she saw the grand stone casket laid out in front of her. She shivered.

“Mama?” Henry’s voice sounded smaller than usual and his mother bent to pick him up at once, cuddling him close to her as she looked down at her father’s coffin.

Cora was standing at the top of the room, her hand resting on a stone corner of the lid, her fingers rubbing backwards and forwards. She wasn’t looking at Regina, or Henry. And she certainly wasn’t looking at Emma.

Regina stepped closer. Her fingers traced over the letters carved into the lid of the casket. She felt tears well in her eyes and held her son closer to her body. It had been months since she had come to her father’s tomb. The last time had been the week after she had found out about Emma and Killian. She had come and talked for hours, needing somewhere, someone, to whom she could just say everything she was thinking. Her father had always been that person for her. She missed him terribly.

“Henry.”

“What?” Regina asked, turning to her son.

“There,” he said, pointing to the word her mother’s finger was still touching. “It says Henry.”

Regina smiled. “Yes, it does. That was Grandpa’s name, remember? You were named after him.”

Henry nodded and laid his head against Regina’s shoulder.

“I wish you could have met him, Henry,” Regina murmured seconds later. “You’d have loved him.”

“Did he like monkeys too?” Henry asked.

“He loved monkeys,” Regina nodded. “Not as much as you do but I’m sure he could have told you all sorts of monkey facts. And horse facts.”

“Because horses were his favourite animal?” Henry asked, holding up the small model he had shown his disinterested grandmother earlier.

“They were,” Regina nodded. “Do you want to put that down for him? It can keep him company when we’re not here.”

Henry nodded and reached over to lay the little toy on the cool stone. Regina smiled as she watched and then turned to Emma who was stood awkwardly by the door, the wreath still dangling from her hand. Regina beckoned her forward and Emma joined them, holding out the flowers for Regina to take. When the wreath too was laid on the coffin, Cora put her own flowers in a vase at the top of the huge stone and the four of them fell silent once more, each lost in their own thoughts.

It didn’t take long for Henry to start to wriggle slightly and when he did so, Regina turned and walked from the crypt. Emma followed quickly, not wanting to be left alone with Cora. The sunshine outside seemed overly bright and Emma blinked several times as she followed Regina down the steps and towards the path. When they reached it, they turned and realised Cora wasn’t behind them.

“We’ll wait at the car,” Regina said. “Come on.”

She put Henry down and the three of them walked back to the entrance to the churchyard. Regina’s eyes darted to the far corner again.

“Is she here too?”

Regina whipped her head around at Emma’s question. She was met with a sad, understanding smile. Hesitantly, she nodded.

“Do you want to go and visit?”

“No, it’s fine,” Regina said quickly. “I’ll come another day. I … well, I come about once a month after work, to be honest. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” Emma said. “Regina, you don’t need to say sorry to me for coming to pay your respects to Dani. I wouldn’t want you to apologise if you came here every day. She was your wife and you loved her. You still love her. I’m never going to ask you to apologise for that.”

The tears finally fell from Regina’s eyes and Emma stopped walking at once, pulling Regina into her arms. The brunette hugged her back, grateful beyond words for her understanding, compassionate girlfriend.

“Regina, can we meet at nine o’clock on Monday morning, please?”

The couple broke apart as Cora joined them on the path. Wiping her face, Regina glanced around to check Henry wasn’t far away before answering.

“Yes, that’s fine. Why?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Cora said. “If you can come up to my office, I think that would be best. I’ve got a very busy day.”

“Of course,” Regina nodded. “And thank you for coming today. I know it’s difficult for you too.”

“Yes, well, it’s tradition,” she said stiffly. “Anyway, I must be off. I have a lunch at midday. Bye, Regina, Emma. Goodbye Henry.”

“Bye Grandma,” Henry called from the car where Graham had lifted him up so he was sat on the roof, swinging his legs.

Cora looked like she was about to comment on his behaviour but seemed to decide against it. Regina was glad. She really didn’t need parenting advice from her mother. So with a curt nod, Cora walked away and got into a sleek black car, driving out of the parking lot and out into the steady stream of traffic.

“She’s just delightful, isn’t she,” Emma said, hoping to lighten the mood.

It worked. Regina gave a chuckle and shook her head. “She’s not exactly the most emotive person in the world. Come on, let’s go and feed those ducks.”

“Don’t you want to -,” Emma trailed off, jerking her head in the direction she presumed Dani’s grave was.

“No,” Regina said. “I’ll come another time. And I don’t want Henry to be blindsided. I usually tell him in advance when we’re coming to see his other mom. I know he doesn’t remember her but I think it’s difficult for him to get his head around sometimes and I like to give him some notice.”

“Ok,” Emma said. “Then I guess the ducks won’t have to wait much longer to eat stale, soggy bread.”

* * *

The park was busy. Although the air held the beginnings of an autumnal chill, the sun was high in the sky and the day promised to be one of the last warm ones of the year. Henry scurried ahead of the two women, half a loaf of bread clutched in his hand as they approached the large lake. Regina and Emma found a vacant bench and sat down where they could watch Henry throw chunks of food into the water. The ducks swarmed at once and a pair of swans glided towards him from a clump of reeds nearby.

“Has your mother always been so … distant?” Emma asked after a while.

She had been thinking about the way Cora Mills had acted that morning and couldn’t help but wonder whether the aloof attitude had something to do with her presence. She didn’t want Regina’s already tumultuous relationship with her mother to worsen because of her. No matter how flawed Cora was, she was still Regina’s mother and Emma knew how important that familial bond was.

“For as long as I can remember, yes,” Regina nodded. “I suppose it got worse when I came out but she was never a cuddly mother. She had grand plans for me and put a lot of time and money into making sure I got the best education possible. Me being gay only marginally affected those aims. Her attempt to marry me off to a male partner at another law firm as part of a merger, for example.”

“Gross,” Emma said, wrinkling her nose.

Regina chuckled. “Yes, it wasn’t exactly the most romantic proposal of my life.”

“You mean some guy actually asked you?”

Regina turned to the blonde with raised eyebrows. Emma Swan had sounded distinctly jealous at the idea of someone else asking her girlfriend to marry them.

“I turned him down,” Regina assured the blonde. “It was only a few months after Dani died actually. Insensitive prick.” Emma snorted at that. “But my mother still tries to set the two of us up periodically. That is, until you came along.”

Emma smiled proudly at that and laid her arm around Regina’s shoulder. They watched as Henry threw ripped sections of bread into the lake in silence for a while. Eventually the food ran out and Henry wandered back to them, crossing the busy stream of people strolling through the park. He climbed up onto the bench and then crawled until he was sitting on Emma’s lap. She dropped a kiss to the top of his head and pulled him close to her.

“Who was that lady at your work, Emma?” he asked.

Both women’s eyebrows raised. There had been no further discussion of what Henry had witnessed on Wednesday night. He hadn’t mentioned anything about it the following day and Regina decided not to bring it up. It seemed, however, that the little boy had simply been mulling over what he had heard, trying to make sense of it.

“Um,” Emma said with a glance at Regina. “That was Lily. She used to be my friend.”

“But you’re not friends now?”

“No,” Emma replied.

“Is that why Mama shouted at her?”

Regina blushed. “Yes,” she said quickly before Emma could reply. “But it was wrong of me to shout and I only did it because I was worried about Emma. It’s not nice to shout at people though.”

“Why was she asking about me?”

Both women looked at each other. Neither had realised Henry was paying the slightest bit of attention at the moment when Lily mistook Henry for Emma’s own son.

“She was just wondering who you were,” Emma said.

“I’m Henry,” the boy said simply.

“Ok, she was wondering whose you were.”

“Whose?”

“She was wondering who you mom was,” Emma simplified.

“But I had two moms,” Henry replied. “And now I have three.”

“Three?” asked Regina and Emma in unison.

“You,” he said, pointing to the brunette, “and my mommy who died. And Emma. She’s my mommy too.”

Regina’s eyes were shining with tears as she enveloped Emma and Henry in her arms. She felt Emma’s own face, damp against her neck and knew the blonde was trying not to cry too hard. Henry was squashed in the middle of them, not quite understanding what was happening but knowing he was more than content to be in between his two favourite women in the world.

* * *

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It was Saturday evening and Regina had just finished tidying up the kitchen. Emma was watching the television but turned it off as soon as the brunette walked in. She didn’t need to ask what her girlfriend was referring to.

“Do we need to talk about it?”

Regina sat down besides Emma and lay her legs across the blonde’s lap. Emma wrapped her arms easily around them, stroking the bare skin of her smooth calves.

“We need to talk about the fact that Henry can’t get hurt,” Regina said. “I know I’ve already mentioned this but now he’s really seeing you as a permanent fixture in our lives.”

“Aren’t I?” Emma said, slightly alarmed.

“Of course you are,” Regina assured her, reaching out and cupping Emma’s cheek. “Of course you are, my love. But we both need to be aware of the fact that there are three of us in this relationship now. If there’s anything on your mind, any doubts, anything at all, we need to talk about it now.”

“There’s nothing,” Emma said quickly. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.”

“Good,” Regina smiled, sitting upright and kissing Emma quickly. “Because neither have I.”

Emma beamed and tapped Regina’s legs, gesturing for her to move so Emma could get up. She walked over to the side table and picked up Regina’s laptop. As promised, she had invented two Marlo stories for Henry that night. The one about the magical banana had been a particularly good one and she was eager to record them both. Settling herself back on the couch, she opened the lid and typed in the password.

“Regina, what have you done?”

“Hmmm?” came the distracted answer from the brunette who was now reading the newspaper.

“The computer’s all weird.”

“It’s tidy,” Regina said, without looking up.

“Tidy?” Emma frowned.

She knew her girlfriend was a neat freak but she didn’t know it extended to laptop desktops. Ok the background photograph of the three of them had been all but eclipsed by the many documents which Emma had created for her Marlo stories. But really?

“Where are they?” she asked, scanning the desktop and only seeing three small icons: ‘Regina’s work’, ‘Household’, ‘Family’.

“I put them all in a folder,” Regina said. “Just search ‘Henry’ and you’ll find them.”

Emma pulled up the search bar and typed it in. After a second, a huge list of documents emerged and she scanned through them. Finding the one she wanted she clicked on the folder icon. The screen exploded.

“Damn it,” Emma cursed under her breath.

“What?” came the vaguely interested question from behind the New York Times.

“Nothing,” Emma grumbled as she began to close the many, many windows which had filled her screen. She hadn’t realised she had been leaning on the command key and selected all of the files and documents on the entire computer which contained the word ‘Henry’. Slowly, the number of open windows reduced. Emma had almost finished when she froze, her gaze locked on the top half of a PDF.

“Um, Regina?”

“Hmmm?”

Slowly, Emma turned the screen around to face her girlfriend. Regina glanced at it and then up at Emma, her face blank.

“What?” she asked.

Emma didn’t say anything. She didn’t think she could speak even if she had known what to say. Registering the look of complete shock and disbelief on Emma’s face, Regina looked back at the laptop and frowned.

“These are Henry’s adoption papers,” she said. “What’s wrong?”


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: drama time!

The laptop slipped from Emma’s grasp, the edge landing sharply on her shin but she ignored the pain it caused. Scrambling from the couch she fled the room. Immensely confused, Regina flung the newspaper aside and ran after her. She caught up to Emma in their ensuite just as the blonde knelt before the toilet bowl, retching into it.

“Emma!” she cried, rushing to her side and gathering her long, blonde hair back, rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades.

The blonde’s body convulsed as she emptied the contents of her stomach. Regina said nothing, waiting until at last Emma slumped back against her girlfriend, shivering and covered in sweat. Flushing the toilet, Regina cradled Emma to her breast, dabbing her glistening forehead with a damp towel she grabbed from the edge of the basin. The blonde’s eyes were closed, her face ashen. In the silence Regina’s worry grew. She couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Emma, what happened?” she asked quietly.

Emma lips set in a firm line. She shook her head and pushed herself off Regina’s body. Staggering to her feet, she stumbled from the bathroom without a word. Regina tossed the towel onto the side and stood up too, following Emma. She found the blonde pouring herself a generous glass of scotch in the living room. As Regina watched, she tossed it back and poured a second. When she went for her third, Regina crossed the room and pried the bottle from Emma’s hand. The blonde didn’t resist. Instead, she moved back to the couch and sank onto it, head in her hands.

“Emma, honey, please,” Regina said, sitting beside her. “You’re really scaring me. What happened?”

Emma gestured to the discarded laptop and Regina picked it up, opening the lid and logging in again. She was greeted once more with Henry’s adoption papers, familiar information and legal jargon which she had read countless times in the past. She scanned it again however, trying to determine what Emma could have seen. She came up empty.

“Emma, I don’t understand. What is it?”

Emma swallowed and sat up. Hesitantly, she reached out a slim finger and pointed to the date at the top of the form.

“Henry’s birthday,” Regina frowned.

“Is this the correct date of birth?” Emma asked.

“Yes,” Regina said slowly. “I’ve banned him from talking about his birthday until September, remember? That way we only get one month of -,”

“Henry was born on 30th September?” Emma interrupted.

“Yes,” Regina repeated. “Why?”

“And he’s about to be five?”

“Yes,” Regina said again. “If known, they never change the birthdays of adopted babies.”

“Where was he adopted from? I mean, what state?”

“I don’t know,” Regina admitted. “The agency I used is nationwide. They get babies from all over the country and place them with suitable parents. They mentioned he came from somewhere in the south I think but nowhere specific. Why?”

Emma stood from the couch and disappeared out of the room. With a huff of frustration, Regina followed again. The corridor was empty when she reached it but the door to Henry’s room was ajar. The brunette peered around the frame and saw Emma sitting on the edge of her son’s bed. The young woman was looking intently through the gloom at the relaxed, serene little face. Her hand drifted out, the back of one finger stroking gently across his cheek. Henry didn’t stir. When Emma looked towards the doorway, her eyes were shining with tears. Regina walked quickly to her side, kneeling on the floor and looking pleadingly up into Emma’s face, silently asking for answers.

When the blonde eventually spoke, it was little more than a whisper.

“I think Henry’s my son.”

* * *

A cool breeze was tickling her skin, her hair fluttering lightly as she stared out of the open window. Emma heard Regina return to the living room and seconds later a hand landed tenderly at the base of her spine, a full wine glass offered to her with the other. Emma took it and drank. Regina said nothing as she joined Emma, the two women looking out of the penthouse window over the dark park beyond. Eventually, Emma pulled the window closed once more and moved to the couch. The laptop was still open, the bright screen displaying Henry’s information.

“You gave birth on 30th September?” Regina asked, leaning against the windowsill but facing Emma.

“Yeah,” Emma nodded. “Almost five years ago.”

“And you obviously gave up your son.”

Emma nodded again. No words were necessary though. It wasn’t a question. At least, not one the two women didn’t know the answer to.

“Are you sure it’s him?” Regina asked.

“Are you doubting it?” Emma countered.

Regina shook her head. “No,” she said quietly. “No, I think you’re right.”

She joined her girlfriend on the couch and collapsed beside her. They didn’t touch, however. Emma noted the distance but didn’t say anything. Nor did she move closer.

“How did we not realise?” Emma asked. “I mean, it seems so obvious now.”

“Well if Lily noticed then it must be pretty clear to the outside world,” Regina remarked.

Emma ignored the snarky tone. Now was not the time to bring up her ex girlfriend’s ability to identify the similarities between Henry and Emma which both women had previously, repeatedly missed. “How did this happen?” she asked instead.

Regina shrugged. “Fate?”

“It was fate for me to get knocked up when I was seventeen then go to prison, give up my son for adoption, be screwed over by an unfaithful bitch, end up on the streets, and be found by my long-lost son only to fall in love with his beautiful adoptive mother?”

Regina said nothing.

“What are the chances of that happening?” Emma said, standing up and pacing back and forth in front of the television. Her body was too confused and wound up to sit still at that moment. The movement seemed to help her think. “I mean, it’s crazy, right? We’re deluding ourselves. He’s not my son. Of course he isn’t. There are thousands of adopted babies and millions of people in this country. There’s no way I found him by chance. It’s just a coincidence.”

Emma turned with pleading eyes to Regina who just looked blankly back at the clearly panicked blonde.

“Do you really believe that?” the older woman asked simply.

“No,” Emma said sitting down again. “No, I know the truth.”

They fell silent again, both drinking deeply from their wine glasses, lost in thought as the enormity of the situation slowly settled around them.

Emma’s mind was racing but she couldn’t identify a single clear, overpowering emotion. It was all a jumble, tangled together and making her brain ache with the effort to understand what was happening in her life.

Love. Intense love for the little boy. She’d felt it for months now. She thought it had been because Henry was such a charming child but perhaps it was something deeper, more innate. That mother’s love people speak of but Emma had never experienced, as a child or an adult. Not really. Not for those few fleeting moments before her son was taken from that cold, dark room.

Guilt. She had abandoned him to the system. A system that had failed her. He’d find out eventually that she’d given him up. Henry would find out how it was Emma who hadn’t kept him, who had chosen to offer him up for adoption rather than struggle to keep her tiny family together. Would he blame her? Would he hate her? Could he forgive her?

Fear. Emma had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. She knew something was going to come along and disrupt the perfect life she had built for herself. She just didn’t realise that other shoe was a little boy’s sneaker, covered in mud and scuffed at the toe where he had tripped playing soccer the previous week. What was Regina going to do? They’d spoken about Henry’s biological mother as an abstract concept, neither woman even considering the possibility that she might appear. How would their relationship change as a result? Would Regina even want her near Henry now? She had abandoned him after all. Could Regina forgive her for that?

Love.

Ok, maybe there was one overpowering emotion. Her heart seemed to be swelling in her chest as she thought of the small boy sleeping soundly just a few metres away from her. She had found him. Finally. She had found her son and he was happy and healthy and loved and everything Emma could possibly have hoped for. Despite the situation, a small smile graced her lips.

Regina didn’t notice however as she too was struggling to come to terms with what she was feeling.

Shock. Shock topped the list, for sure. She had been searching for Emma’s son for over a month and yet she had never even considered what Emma’s appearance in her long-lost son’s life might to do his adoptive parents. Shock them, it turned out. Regina felt as though a bolt of electricity had jolted through her life, shaking everything she knew to its very foundations.

Disbelief? Well, no. By the time half her wine had gone, so had the prefix. She very much believed that Henry Mills was Emma Swan’s biological son. She just couldn’t believe they hadn’t noticed before.

Tense. She was on edge. She didn’t know quite why but Regina was tense, stressed, worried. How was this revelation going to affect her life? How was it going to affect Henry? How was it going to affect her relationship with Emma?

“What do we do?” came a small voice, interrupting Regina’s thoughts.

“What do you mean?” Regina asked, turning to the blonde.

“I don’t even know,” Emma admitted, flopping back against the couch. “I’ve dreamed about finding my son for years but I never really considered what I’d do when I actually found him. And I’d never even comprehended the possibility that I’d already know him and love him and love his adoptive mother and be a part of his life. I mean, how could this be any more complicated?”

Regina chuckled at that, despite herself. Their relationship had never taken the easy route so it didn’t exactly surprise her that something so mind-bogglingly confusing had appeared just when everything else in their lives had settled into a blissful normality.

“Regina, say something, please,” Emma said, realising the brunette had been quiet for a long time and that her brow was deeply furrowed. She was clearly lost in contemplation. “What are you thinking?”

The brunette stared at the ground, ignoring the pleading green eyes which suddenly looked so much like Henry’s she couldn’t believe she’d never noticed it before. She swallowed.

“Don’t take him from me.”

It was barely a whisper but Emma heard. She immediately reached for Regina’s hands, grasping them tightly.

“No, Regina. Never,” she assured. “I’d never take Henry from you. Why would you say that? How could you even think I would do such a thing?”

Regina raised her tear-filled eyes to meet Emma’s gaze. Her lip trembled as she saw the worry and confusion on Emma’s face. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

“You thought I’d take Henry from you?” Emma asked, sounding hurt. “I mean, you thought I’d take Henry from whichever family I found him with? Is that why you think I was searching for him?” Without waiting for an answer, Emma continued. “Regina, I wanted to know he was safe and loved. I never wanted to disrupt his life. I probably wouldn’t even have met him face to face. I’d have just watched from a distance. Just to make sure he was ok. Please tell me you didn’t think I was looking for him to take him back from a loving family.”

“No, no I didn’t,” Regina choked out. “Well, I hadn’t really thought about what your motives were, to be honest. I just wanted you to be happy so I wanted to find him for you. I never thought about what might happen to the family who had adopted him, how you might affect their lives.”

Emma swallowed. “What do you mean?” she asked. “What … how do you think this might affect you?”

Regina shook her head, seemingly unwilling to verbalise whatever she was thinking. But Emma thought she had an inkling about what was scaring the clearly terrified brunette and from the way Regina began to cry when she spoke, she knew she was right.

“I’m not taking Henry from you, Regina,” she said, low and serious. “He is your son and you raised him. Your love for him is just as valid and strong and powerful and intense as it was half an hour ago. As is his love for you. That bond, that connection the two of you have will never be broken. I may be his birth mother, Regina, but you raised him. He won’t forget that. I won’t forget that.”

“But you’re his mother,” Regina sobbed. “I mean … you're flesh and blood.”

“That means nothing,” Emma replied. “The people who raise you are your family. You’re Henry’s family. Not me. Not … not yet.”

Regina wiped her streaming eyes and sniffed. “When we tell him though,” Emma’s heart skipped a beat, “he won’t need me any more. Not now he has you.”

Emma brushed the hair from Regina’s eyes and tilted the brunette’s face up until their eyes met.

“Henry will always need you, Regina,” Emma assured her. “And so will I. We need each other, right? Just like a family.”

Regina nodded and collapsed against Emma, arms coming to encircle her and hold her close. They cried quietly for a long time, neither woman quite knowing why. Exhaustion finally claimed them and they fell asleep, tangled together on the couch.

* * *

“Mama? Mommy?”

It took a moment for the events of the previous night to re-register with the two women as they were roused groggily from their slumber. Regina peeled herself off Emma and groaned as she heard her neck crack. Emma rubbed her eyes and stretched her arms just as Henry climbed up onto the couch between them.

“Why were you sleeping here?” he asked, looking between the blonde and brunette.

“We were very tired,” Regina said. “Did you sleep well?”

Henry nodded and crawled into Regina’s lap. The brunette cuddled him close to her chest and smiled down at him. Emma, after a moment’s hesitation, stood and walked into the kitchen. Regina needed a moment alone with Henry after what they had discussed the previous evening, Emma could tell. She leaned against the counter as she waited for the water to boil for the coffee, running her fingers through her tangled hair. A gentle hand on her back made her jump.

“Do you want to tell him today?” Regina asked.

Emma practically gave herself whiplash turning around to stare at her girlfriend. She had not been expecting that.

“I … um … really? You don’t want to, I don’t know, get a DNA test or something? Or work out what’s going to happen next?”

Regina shook her head. “I think a DNA test would be a waste of money,” she said. “I think we’ve finally discovered where Henry gets his clumsy genes from.” Regina poked the blonde teasingly in the side and Emma laughed. “And as for what’s going to happen next? You were right last night. I don’t need to worry about you taking Henry from me. That was stupid and childish and I’m sorry I even said it.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Emma said at once. “You felt it, you said it. That’s what our relationship is about, right?”

“Perhaps,” Regina shrugged. “But I know I was wrong now. You being Henry’s biological mother changes very little really. I mean, he already calls you Mommy. We’d just be confirming that as scientifically true.”

Emma nodded at the sensible explanation but something inside her was whirring in alarm.

“Let’s wait a little bit,” Emma suggested. “Get our own heads around what we’ve just found out before we tell Henry. We’ll also want to work out exactly how much to tell him. I mean, he’s going to have questions about why I gave him up and I’m not sure I’m ready to answer them yet.”

“Ok,” Regina nodded, kissing Emma quickly. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Whenever we’re ready,” Emma prompted.

“I’m ready now,” Regina pointed out. “You’re part of our family, Emma. This is just a strange little nugget of fate which we didn’t know before. It doesn’t change how I feel about you at all.”

“Really?” Emma asked. “You’re not just a little bit angry at me for giving up your son?”

Regina shook her head. “I’ve told you before, I assumed Henry’s birth mother had her reasons for putting him up for adoption and you certainly did. And how could I ever be angry at someone who gave me the best thing in my life? To find out that person was you? It just makes me love you a little bit more.”

Emma grinned dopily and followed Regina out of the kitchen and into their bedroom. Emma’s fingers itched to reach out and touch her girlfriend as Regina began to peel of her clothes from the night before but the shout of Henry asking for help getting dressed stopped her. She didn’t mind though, she decided as she helped Henry pull up his jeans and fasten the popper. In fact, she thought, she wouldn’t mind spending the rest of her lives with those two people.

When both women had showered and dressed they returned to the kitchen. Henry was sitting at his chair already, Marlo perched beside him and jigsaw pieces scattered across the wood.

“What do you want for breakfast, kid?” Emma asked, ruffling his hair and ignoring the little flip in her stomach at the realisation that the nickname had taken on a whole new meaning. Henry wasn’t just a kid any more. He was _her_ kid.

“Pancakes?” he asked, looking pleadingly up at the blonde.

Emma grinned and turned to Regina, her own eyes wide and endearing. Regina blinked. How had she never seen it before? The two faces looking at her were undeniably related. Had she just refused to notice? Or had she really not even considered the possibility? Shaking her head in mild disbelief, she moved to the fridge to get out the ingredients she would need to make her family their requested breakfast.

Sitting beside Henry, Emma could help but stare at the little boy. He looked no different to how he had yesterday and yet everything had changed. Emma now saw her strong jawline emerging beneath his puppy fat. His eyes, as Lily had said, were exactly the same shape and colour as her own. His nose reminded her of hers when she was younger. And his hair. Well, that was all Neal.

“What?” Henry asked, realising the blonde hadn’t blinked in almost a minute. Which was, he thought, creepy.

Emma jolted out of her reverie. “Huh? Sorry kid, what did you want?”

“Nothing,” Henry said. “But you were looking at me funny. Why?”

“Oh,” Emma blushed. “Erm, no nothing. I was just thinking what a handsome little man you’re growing up to be.”

“He has good genes,” Regina said as she deposited the first stack of pancakes before the two of them.

Emma smiled up at Regina who dropped a kiss to her lips. When she turned her attention back to the table, Henry had already forked two pancakes onto his plate and was smothering them in maple syrup. Clearly he had inherited her insatiable appetite as well, Emma mused as she followed his lead.

From the stove, Regina’s eyes flickered from the cooking pancakes to her son and Emma at the table. She couldn’t help but smile. Although her emotions had been all over the place the previous evening, she was already realising just how serendipitous the situation was. Emma had found her son. And not only that, Henry had two mothers again. Two real mothers. The bond between all three of them was stronger than ever. Emma was never going to lose Henry and nor was Regina. Whatever happened between the two women, the boy was always going to have them in his life. They were devoted to him and would do anything to keep him safe and happy. Despite his difficult start in life, Henry Mills was fast becoming the luckiest boy in the world.

* * *

Regina was tidying up the pillow fort the three of them had spent the day building when Emma returned from the grocery store. Regina had insisted the trip could wait until the morning rather than braving the late summer rain which had begun to fall but Emma vehemently declared she would not be drinking black coffee and therefore the visit was necessary. The brunette hadn’t heard the woman enter and jumped a little when two arms snaked around her waist and a tender kiss was planted on her neck

“Thank you.”

“What for?” Regina asked, turning in Emma’s grasp and cocking her head in question.

“For everything you did for Henry,” Emma said simply.

“It was a lot of work for an almost five year old to tidy,” Regina shrugged. “He did the scatter cushions. I’m happy to re-assemble the couch.”

Emma rolled her eyes at her pragmatic girlfriend. “No, not for today you doofus.” Regina’s eyebrows rose at the soft insult. “For the past five years.”

It had occurred to the blonde as she had been selecting some apples that she hadn’t thanked Regina yet. She had always thought how she owed the family who raised Henry everything and knowing it was Regina now made Emma’s heart swell. Regina, the love of her life, had cared for and loved her son. Regina had given Henry a home. And then given Emma one. She realised she needed to rush home and tell the brunette just how much she was appreciated. Which is what she was now doing.

“Oh,” Regina said. “Well, you’re welcome, I suppose. I mean, I was just doing my job as his mother.”

“I know,” Emma said quickly. “It’s just that for five years I’ve been wondering how his life might have turned out. Would he have a loving family? Would he have a safe place to live? Would he be getting the attention and love he deserved? Or would he turn out like me? Shunted from one foster family to another. You became the family I dreamed of for my son, Regina. You’re the woman who gave him everything I couldn’t. So thank you.”

“It was my pleasure,” Regina assured her. “And from now on, we’ll both be here to give him anything and everything he needs.”

Emma laughed. “Well, most things. We don’t want to be raising a spoilt brat, do we?”

Regina nodded seriously. “Good point. I do sometimes think I give in too easily to his requests.”

“He asked me for a monkey for his birthday earlier,” Emma remembered. “A part of me wanted to get it for him. I mean, I have five birthdays and Christmases to make up for. But then I figured you wouldn’t be too keen on having a gibbon in the living room.”

Regina narrowed her eyes. “Oh you dare, Miss Swan.”

Emma laughed again, kissing Regina hard as she felt the familiar heat coil between her legs. She loved it when Regina used her surname, a fact the brunette was acutely aware of.

“Wait,” Regina panted before Emma’s hands could unbutton any more of her blouse. She waited until Emma’s dark green eyes had dragged upwards from her exposed chest before continuing. “What are we going to do about telling Henry? And everyone else?”

Emma bit her lip, thinking. She had thought about it a lot that day. There have been several moments when she had wanted to just blurt it out to Henry but she knew it needed to be more carefully planned. And as for other people, the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind.

“Next weekend for Henry?” she suggested. “I just … want to be prepared.”

“Ok,” Regina nodded.

“And by everyone else you mean …,”

“Ruby, Dot, Kathryn, August -,”

“Your mother,” Emma interrupted. “That’s who you mean.”

Regina began to re-button her top. She sank onto the couch and Emma landed next to her seconds later. Both were wondering how the older Mills would react to the revelation that her only grandchild was in fact related to the woman she believed was preventing her daughter from fulfilling her destiny of merging two legal firms.

“Once Henry knows, she’ll need to be told too,” Regina said. “I’ll do it the Monday after we tell him.”

“How do you think she’ll take it?” Emma asked.

Regina just shook her head. She didn’t want to think about what her silver-tongued mother might say when she found out. She doubted it would be anything positive. Emma’s hand on her thigh pulled her back into the room.

“Hey,” Emma said softly, kissing Regina’s cheek. “It’ll be ok. We’ve got each other. We’ve got Henry. There’s nothing your mother can do to break us up. I promise.”

“I believe you,” Regina said earnestly, twisting herself towards Emma and pulling their torsos close. “Because I believe in us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Ok so the idea of Emma finding the document through a computer search came to me right at the beginning of the story. Not sure why but I liked the thought and I hope you all did too, especially those who wanted Emma’s son to be another child!


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Tissues at the ready …

After the emotional, confusing, but fundamentally euphoric weekend, Regina was brought back down to earth with a bump when she arrived at work on Monday morning. She got there early; even Mary Margaret wasn’t in yet but Regina could already tell who was present. Taped to her office door was a note in her mother’s cursive handwriting.

_Meeting in my office at 9am. Don’t be late._

_C_

Scowling at the crude, impersonal message, Regina ripped it down and swore quietly when some of the tape remained. She scratched unsuccessfully at it with her fingernail and then gave up. Entering the office, she dropped her briefcase onto the desk and sank into the chair with a sigh. She wished she could have stayed home, curled up on the couch with Emma and Henry. Her lethargic attitude continued as she fired up her computer and saw the hundreds of emails land in her inbox. She had barely made a dent in them when Mary Margaret arrived, carrying Regina’s usual coffee order. Thanking her assistant, Regina took a sip before continuing with her work. It wasn’t until Mary Margaret reappeared that Regina glanced up again.

“Erm, sorry to disturb you, Regina. But it’s almost nine.”

Regina looked from her timid assistant to the clock on her desk and swore. Jumping up, she grabbed her notebook and dashed out of the room. Thankfully her mother’s own office was one floor above hers and she knocked on the door only one minute past the designated time. When she entered however, her jaw dropped.

Already seated in the room were at least fifteen other lawyers, everyone looking at the late arrival. Regina smiled politely at them and then at her mother, seated behind her grand, mahogany desk. Cora didn’t smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” Regina said, a little flustered. “I didn’t realise there were going to be quite so many people here.”

She made her way in awkward silence to the one remaining chair beside one of the ageing lawyers her mother had gathered for … well, she had no idea to be honest.

“Thank you,” Cora said when Regina had sat down. “Now as you all know, here at Mills Associates we have been working closely with Gold and Locksley for years. There have been repeated attempts at mergers,” Cora’s eyes flicked to her daughter who looked stonily, apologetically back at her, “but we have been unable to reach favourable conditions. Until now.”

Regina’s eyes widened. What did her mother mean? Had she finally come to some agreement with that lecherous Gold? Cora was looking distinctly pleased with herself and Regina felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. Whatever had made her mother smile like that was not going to be good news.

“So ladies and gentlemen,” the older Mills continued to a silent room, “it is with great pleasure I am today announcing that as of next month we will be operating under the new brand of Mills and Gold. A select legal team from their offices will be moving over here and together Mr Gold and I are sure that we will create a formidable company.”

There was a smattering of applause. Regina rolled her eyes at the ass-kissing, her own hands remaining clasped in her own lap.

“Now, since we are merging, there are going to be some changes to our structure. We are going to refine our workforce to make room for the lawyers moving over and therefore I’m afraid we have had to make some tough decisions.”

Regina felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. No, she thought to herself. This wasn’t about to happen. Her mother was not that spiteful. She glanced at the lawyer beside her and knew the older man was having the exact same thoughts she was. Seconds later, their suspicious were confirmed.

“You’ll each be offered a generous severance package and provided glowing references, of course,” Cora said, standing up and handing out paperwork to each of the lawyers before her. When she reached Regina she didn’t look her in the eye.

“I’m afraid I don’t have time for any questions today but we will be holding an open meeting on Wednesday for anyone who would like to come and discuss their future. I have some contacts with other legal firms who may be willing to offer you interviews. You have two weeks to clear out your offices and you’ll be paid in full for the month of September. Thank you for your time.”

The rest of the lawyers got wordlessly to their feet, filing out of the room. Regina stayed where she was, head bowed. Before the door shut behind the last person, words drifted back into the room from the corridor beyond.

“Evil bitch.”

“Heartless cow.”

“- no notice and in this market -,”

Cora seemed nonplussed at the comments and simply turned to her laptop, deliberately ignoring her daughter’s presence.

“Seriously?” Regina growled. “You’re going to fire your only daughter in front of her peers and then not even look at me. What the hell gives you the right to treat people like this?”

When the older woman still didn’t meet her gaze, Regina stood and stalked towards the desk, resting her hands on the wood and leaning forward. Finally her mother stopped typing with a sigh and turned to face her daughter.

“It’s business,” Cora replied. “Mr Gold and I discussed all our employees and some of you just didn’t make the cut. Nothing personal.”

Regina barked out a laugh. “Nothing personal? Bullshit! This wasn’t just personal, Mother. This was vindictive. You’ve been looking at a way to get back at me ever since I was sixteen and I told you I was gay. It’s not a choice, Mother! I was born this way. I didn’t determine who I was attracted to and I’m not going to apologise for it. Ok, I’m sorry none of my girlfriends have been conveniently placed in large legal firms so you can sink your fangs into their clients too. I’m sorry I didn’t want to marry Robin Locksley to make your life easier and your bank account even bigger. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough to be your daughter but I am who I am. When are you going to accept that?”

Fat tears ran down Regina’s cheeks and splashed onto the desk. Cora reached forwards with a tissue to wipe them up. She didn’t want the salt to damage the wood, naturally.

“This has nothing to do with who you’re sleeping with because-,” Cora began but Regina interrupted.

“No, it’s who you’re sleeping with.”

Perfectly plucked but severe eyebrows rose. Regina hadn’t been sure she was right until that moment but at the realisation that her mother really was in a relationship with Mr Gold she turned angrily from the desk and stalked over to the large window looking out over Manhattan. She had always loved the view. At one point she dreamt of the day she would take over from her mother as head of the company. She had believed she was going to inherit the legal firm, was going to continue the Mills family name. Now she knew that was not only never going to happen but something she didn’t want to do. She wiped her face with the back of her hand and turned around.

“I don’t need two weeks to clear out, Mother,” she said. “I’ll be gone by lunchtime. And I’ll be taking Mary Margaret with me. I’m sure West and Merlin will be glad to put her on the payroll alongside myself.”

At the mention of her firm’s main competition, Cora’s eyes finally snapped up to her daughter’s face, looking straight into her eyes.

“What?” she spat. “What are you talking about.”

“Henry’s childminder is the daughter of Thomas West,” Regina said breezily. “Zelena introduced me a few years ago and he’s been dropping hints ever since. I resisted the urge to move, of course. Family and loyalty I believe were the reasons I always gave but since you don’t hold any respect for either, I suppose you’ve made my mind up for me.”

Cora stood up, her eyes narrow. “You’d really betray me like that?” she hissed. “You’d go and work for the men who lost us millions of dollars last year?”

“We’ve made millions more from other cases,” Regina replied. “And it’s not about the money for me, Mother. It never has been. I enjoy the work and I expect to be appreciated for the excellent job I do. And as for betrayal, I don’t think anything will ever eclipse how betrayed I feel by you right now, both on behalf of myself and Father. I know he’s been gone for years but he hated Gold. You know that and climbing into bed with a man who was so unpleasant to Father when he was alive is just heartless.”

Regina swivelled on the spot and stormed towards the door. Just before she opened it however, she turned around.

“Oh, and by the way. It turns out Henry is Emma’s biological son,” she announced. Cora’s eyes widened comically but Regina just continued. “They’re my family now and I don’t think it would be beneficial to anyone if you were a part of it. You never cared much for Henry anyway and I doubt the loss of your monthly visits will hit him terribly hard. I’d rather not hear from you again regarding either matter we’ve discussed today. In fact, I don’t think I ever want to hear from you again.”

With that, Regina stormed out of the office and slammed the door behind her. Cora’s assistant looked up, startled. Regina bit the inside of her cheek and held her head high as she walked past. She just made it to her office area before the tears began to fall. Mary Margaret rushed to her side and ushered her to the chair, closing the door behind them. Tearfully, she explained to her faithful assistant what had happened. Within an hour the two of them had packed up their things and Graham had appeared to help them carry everything downstairs. As they walked out, everyone stared in disbelief. It was well known that Cora Mills was a ruthless businesswoman but to make her only daughter redundant? There was an air of unease as the brunette marched through their midst. If the rightful heir to the firm wasn’t safe, then who was?

* * *

Emma and David Nolan were waiting for Regina and Mary Margaret in the penthouse, both embracing their other halves as soon as they walked through the door. Regina’s eyes were red-rimmed from crying and the tears flowed again as Emma coaxed her onto the couch. Mary Margaret was more angry than upset.

“She’s a horrid woman,” Regina heard from her safe place cuddled up in Emma’s arms. “Really horrid! Imagine doing that to poor Regina. She works so hard and she’s a good lawyer and it’s just not fair.”

“I know,” David soothed.

“And what about everyone else’s assistants?” Mary Margaret continued. “I mean, I doubt many of them are lucky enough to be brought across into a new position. What’s going to happen to them and their families? Teresa just had a baby and Chloe’s mother has just been moved into a hospice facility.”

“They’re getting pretty good severance deals,” Regina piped up.

She had glanced over the paperwork in the back of the town car. The money hadn’t mattered to her; she had been saving steadily for years and, thanks to some inheritance from her father and Dani, was set for life. But she knew others would struggle. She had been surprised at her mother’s generosity, though. Perhaps it was a sign of a guilty conscience.

“That’s not the point,” Mary Margaret huffed. “It’s unfair.”

Emma, David and Regina all nodded their agreement. The morning’s events had shocked every one of them. Even Emma who, after the revelation of Saturday night, thought nothing would ever surprise her again.

“But Thomas West will take you on?” David asked. “Both of you?”

Regina nodded. “I’ll phone him this afternoon but I’m sure he will. He only offered me the junior partner position last month, and mentioned I would have my own assistant too,” she said, smiling at Mary Margaret.

“How did I not know this about Zelena?” Emma said. “I picked Henry up there for months without her mentioning her father is one of the richest men in New York.”

“Did you really think she could afford that brownstone on the Upper East Side because of her thriving childminding business?” Regina asked.

Emma shrugged. “You do pay her a ridiculous amount.”

“How much?”

Three sets of eyes swivelled to the pixie haired brunette. Even by Mary Margaret’s standards that was beyond socially awkward.

“Um, what?” Regina asked.

“What I think Mary Margaret is trying to say is that,” David said with a glance to his wife, “we’re expecting our first child.”

There was a stunned silence before Emma and Regina exploded with congratulations. There were hugs and kisses and fresh tears, the happy kind for a change. Regina insisted they open some champagne although Emma and Mary Margaret abstained; Emma because she had to work and Mary Margaret because she was following every pregnancy tip to the letter.

By the time the Nolans left, Regina had almost forgotten what had happened just before she left her mother’s office. It was only when Emma remarked that Henry would be pleased to be collected early from Zelena’s that afternoon that she remembered.

“I told my mother about you being Henry’s birth mother.”

Emma, who had been washing up the champagne flutes, turned slowly around to stare open-mouthed at her girlfriend.

“You what now?”

Regina shrugged. “It came out. Well, I kinda shouted it at her. Last ditch attempt to make her feel bad I suppose.”

“What did you say?” Emma asked. “What did she say?”

“I basically told her you two were my family now. That she wasn’t going to see Henry again and that we wouldn’t miss her. It’s true,” Regina said. “I won’t.”

Emma sighed and wiped her soapy hands before pulling Regina into a hug.

“Your mother is a horrible person,” she said quietly. “And she’s hurt you and been a terrible grandmother to Henry. But you don’t have to cut her out of your life if you don’t want to. In time, you might regret what you said today and decide you do want a relationship with her.”

“I doubt that,” Regina sniffed. “I’ve never needed her, not really. I’ve never been able to rely on her so I’ve learnt not to. I had my father, then Dani, Ruby’s always been there for me, and now I have you.”

“And Henry,” Emma added.

“Well he’s not so good at advice giving and he’s a terrible drinking buddy but yes, I have Henry. We have Henry.”

* * *

Cora only tried to contact her daughter once during the following week. When Regina saw the name on the screen of her cell phone, she had simply turned it over before rolling the dice and moving her counter on the board game which she was playing with Henry. She had decided to take a month off work and wanted to spend most of that time with her son and Emma. Thomas West had assured her on Monday afternoon that not only would she be more than welcome as a junior partner but that both she and Mary Margaret would see an increase in their salaries. The two women had gone in the following Thursday to sign their contracts, both beginning on October 1st.

So September was going to be dedicated to her family. Henry was extremely pleased. Not only was he now dropped off at nursery by both Emma and Regina each morning, but his mother picked him up early from Zelena’s every day of the week. Emma too was glad to be spending her mornings with the beautiful brunette before she headed off to the youth centre after lunch. For the first few days, the main topic of conversation was how to tell Henry who Emma really was. Emma tried to bring up Cora a few times but the conversations had halted at once. Regina didn’t want to talk. Not yet.

Regina woke on Saturday morning after almost a full week of being unemployed. Well, she supposed she was just in between jobs but it was certainly an unfamiliar position for her to find herself in. She rolled over and snuggled up against Emma who was still sleeping soundly. She rested her head on the blonde’s shoulder and closed her eyes again, listening to the steady thump, thump of Emma’s heart. Rain pattered against the window and Regina could tell the forecast storm had arrived earlier than expected. Their visit to the playground was going to have to be postponed. She didn’t mind though. The idea of curling up on the couch with Emma and Henry for the day seemed simply wonderful to her. It would also give them the opportunity to tell Henry what they had discovered.

“I can hear you thinking.”

Regina opened her eyes but saw Emma’s were still closed, a soft smile on her face.

“Sorry,” Regina offered. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’okay,” Emma yawned, turning her face blindly towards Regina and pouting her lips. Regina, of course, met them for the first kiss of the day.

“It’s raining,” Regina told her.

“And that means you want to tell Henry about me rather than go to the park?”

Sometimes, Regina mused, she forgot how well Emma knew her. And she then considered the possibility of her girlfriend being a mindreader.

“I do,” Regina nodded. “I think we should tell him after breakfast.”

* * *

But breakfast didn’t quite go to plan. Henry had woken up in a bad mood and when Regina refused to make pancakes for the second weekend in a row and then suggested Marlo could do with a wash, a tantrum ensued. Regina ignored the tears and the screwed up red face as she put the bowl of cereal down in front of her son. What she didn’t ignore was how the bowl and its contents were pushed angrily down the table, slopping the contents everywhere.

“Henry,” she admonished. “What’s going on with you this morning?”

Henry just folded his arms and continued to cry. Emma wiped up the mess as Regina led the small boy to his room. She changed his now milky clothes and then sat him on the bed. She asked him to apologise for his behaviour but he wouldn’t and the crying didn’t stop. After trying to reason with him, she eventually left him to sulk it out on his own.

It was over half an hour before Henry emerged. Of course Emma and Regina had periodically gone to check on him, peering around the door to see the grumpy little boy sitting on his bed, a frown on his face and a book open on his lap. He couldn’t read much yet but he seemed to be looking at the pictures. When he eventually wandered back into the living room, Marlo was being battered around in the tumble drier and Regina was clearing away the breakfast things.

“I’m hungry,” he said as he climbed up beside Emma who was reading a book on the couch.

“Well your mama did try to feed you,” she pointed out. “Would you like some cereal now?”

Henry nodded mutely and followed the blonde into the kitchen. Hesitantly, he wandered over to Regina and looped his arm around one of her thighs. Regina, who was washing up, glanced down at him and smiled.

“Hello, monkey boy,” she said. “Feeling peckish?”

“What’s peckish?” Henry asked.

“Hungry,” Regina said.

“Oh. Yes.”

When Regina moved to pour out a fresh portion of cereal, Emma assured the brunette she could manage and took over the task. Within ten minutes, Henry’s belly was full and he was smiling again.

“So, kid,” Emma said. “What was all that about earlier?”

Henry’s smile faded. Emma looked at Regina, a little panicked. She hadn’t meant to upset the boy. Regina gave a minute shake of her head to reassure Emma that she’d done nothing wrong and came to join the little group.

“We just want to know what had put you in a bad mood,” Regina explained. “You were happy last night and then this morning you were sad. Why?”

Henry shuffled in his chair and scratched at a spot on the table before he answered.

“Nick was mean to me yesterday.”

Regina frowned. Zelena hadn’t said anything to her. Although all the woman had been able to talk about for the entire week was the fact that Regina was finally going to work for her beloved father. She had actually jumped up and down squealing with joy when Regina told her on Tuesday.

“What did he do?” Regina asked.

“He said mean things.”

“You know you just need to ignore it when people say something bad. Or tell an adult, ok?” Emma said. “Have you heard this rhyme: ‘sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me’?”

Henry’s forehead creased in confusion. “Stones?”

“It just means that people saying nasty things doesn’t actually hurt you,” Emma said quickly. “Not if you don’t let it. If you don’t listen to what Nick says then you won’t be upset.”

“But I did listen,” Henry pouted. “And he said bad things.”

“What about?” Regina asked.

Henry bit his lip. “You.”

“Me?” Regina said, surprised.

“And Mommy Emma,” Henry added. “And Mommy Dani.”

Regina and Emma exchanged glances. Both had known Henry would inevitably come up against homophobic attitudes during his life. They just hadn’t expected it to start so soon.

“What did he say?” Regina asked gently.

“He said I didn’t have a daddy.”

“Well, no. Not a man who lives with you. But you had one once,” Regina said. “And now you have me and Emma.”

Henry sniffed and gave a shrug. “Nick said I can only have one mommy. That’s why Mommy Dani went away.”

Regina was fuming. Where had this five year old got these ridiculous, harmful, homophobic notions? She was certainly going to be speaking to Zelena as well as Nick’s father next week. But first she needed to placate her clearly upset son.

“Henry, Mommy Dani got sick and died. It was nothing to do with you, I promise. It was just something that happens.”

“So Mommy Emma isn’t going to go away too?”

“No,” Emma said at once. “I’m not going anywhere Henry. In fact,” she looked at Regina for confirmation and got it, “there’s something your mama and I want to talk to you about. Now it’s a bit complicated but as you’re a big grown up boy and almost five years old, we think you can understand.”

Henry nodded slowly. Emma and Regina, who had previously been crouching on either side of the boy, moved to sit more comfortably in the chairs beside him. Henry sensed that something important was about to be told to him and he sat up a little straighter.

“So, you know your mama and Mommy Dani adopted you when you were just a tiny baby, right?” Emma asked. Henry nodded seriously. “And they took you because your mom who gave birth to you couldn’t look after you properly. Your first mom decided it would be better for other people to have you so your life could be as fantastic as possible.”

“I know,” Henry said. “Mama said my first mom thought I’d be happier staying with a different family.”

“She did,” Emma said, tears stinging her eyes. “And for a long time your mama didn’t know who your first mom was. But now we know and we think it would be a good for you to know too.”

“I’ll meet my first mommy?” Henry asked, surprised. “Did she come back for me?” As he said the second question, panic flooded his features and he turned quickly to Regina. “Mama, I don’t want to leave you.”

“No, no,” Regina soothed, reaching for his little arms which were extended towards her. “You’re not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere. None of us are going anywhere.”

Henry whimpered despite the assurances and Regina lifted him onto her lap. She kissed his forehead, wrapped her arms firmly around him and then nodded to Emma to encourage her to continue when his head had settled against her shoulder.

“Your first mom isn’t going to ever take you from your mama, Henry,” she said quietly. “But she does want to be in your life and she wants you to know who she is.”

Henry cocked his head. “Do you know her?”

Emma smiled. “I do.”

“And you, Mama?”

“I know her too,” Regina nodded.

“Is she nice?” Henry asked.

Regina bit her lip. “I’m fairly sure you’re going to love her.”

Henry contemplated that comment. “Maybe,” he said. “But I already love you and Mommy Emma. And Auntie Ruby. That’s already a lot of love. I don’t know if I can love someone else too.”

“It’s a good job you already love your first mom then,” Regina said.

Henry frowned. They could practically see the cogs turning in his brain. Emma bit her wobbling lip as she watched him looked confusedly up into Regina’s face. Gently, Regina untucked her arm from Henry’s back and pointed at Emma. Henry turned his head, the lines of confusion slowly replaced by wrinkles of joy.

“You’re my mommy?” he exclaimed.

Emma nodded furiously, tears streaming down her face at the look of pure ecstasy on her son’s face. Henry wriggled from Regina’s lap and ran around the table, meeting Emma part way and being scooped into her arms. He buried his face against her neck and Emma held him so tightly to her chest she could feel his tiny heart beat thudding against her own. She gestured blindly towards Regina and seconds later the brunette joined their hug, arms encasing the reunited pair and completing their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I cried writing this. Seriously. It may be due to the fact that I’ve not eaten carbs in five days because I’m on a mega health kick. Probably should go and drown my sorrows with pizza and beer but since my self-control is still in place I guess I’ll just have a banana and some milk. Urgh. Anyway, sorry for the feels-fest. I hope you liked it.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not a super long chapter but it has sex in it so … Yeah. More talk with Henry and then some old friends show up and then our ladies get naked! NSFW.

Eventually they broke apart. Emma gave Henry a watery smile and he brushed her tears clumsily away with his pudgy fingers before turning to Regina and doing the same. The two women smiled adoringly at the little boy, marvelling once again at how utterly perfect he was.

“Did you come to find me?” Henry asked Emma.

“Not exactly. Let’s go and sit down and I’ll tell you about what happened,” Emma said, putting Henry back on the ground and leading the way through to the living room.

Once they were all seated on the couch, Henry between his two mothers, Emma began to explain.

“So as you know you were adopted as a baby. Nearly five years ago. So I’d been looking for you for a very long time, Henry,” Emma said. “But I couldn’t find you. Your mama looked too and she couldn’t find you either.”

Henry frowned. “But I’ve been here the whole time. Why was Mama looking for me?”

“Well we didn’t know you were my son,” Emma said. “We thought you were someone else’s little boy and your mama was trying to find the baby I had. It wasn’t until I saw when your birthday was that I realised you were mine. September 30th.”

“I’m going to be five,” Henry said, puffing his chest out proudly.

“I know,” Emma smiled. “And five years ago you were here.” She pointed to her stomach. “But then you came out and you had to go away to a new family. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

Henry reached over and let his fingertips graze against Emma’s t-shirt, over the abdomen beneath where he had once been a tiny baby. It was very strange, he decided, how women grew people inside themselves. Emma thought it was equally strange to have her son knowingly touch the place he had called home for the first nine months of his life. A warm feeling flooded through her veins.

“Why did I have to go to someone else when I was born though?” Henry asked. “Why didn’t you keep me?”

Emma glanced at Regina. They had discussed at length whether to tell Henry that Emma had given birth in prison. It had been important to both of them that Henry was told the truth, especially as it would inevitably come out at some point in his life and they’d rather not have ever lied to him about it. After all, there had been newspaper articles published which mentioned her prison stint during the trial with Killian. As soon as Henry was old enough to google, he would find out.

“I was very young,” Emma said. “I was only eighteen and I had got into some trouble. The police and a judge decided it would be a good idea for me to spend some time in a prison, thinking about what I’d done wrong. And during that time was when you were born, Henry. I couldn’t keep you because I was in prison and I didn’t have any family who could look after you.”

Whether Henry had fully understood what a prison was and therefore that Emma had spent some time behind bars, neither woman knew because he skipped over that fact and instead asked a question about Emma’s final explanation.

“Why didn’t you have any family?”

Emma shifted herself towards the boy and forced herself to smile at him. Henry didn’t know about her time in the foster system and she never wanted him to know how bad her experiences had been. But she wasn’t going to lie to him.

“Well, my mom and dad couldn’t look after me either,” Emma said. “So they did what I did with you and gave me up for adoption. I wasn’t as lucky as you though and I didn’t get a nice mama like Regina. I lived in lots of different homes but I didn’t have a proper mom and dad so when I got into trouble I didn’t have anyone to help me.”

Henry quirked his lips at that, a sad expression on his face. It was pity, Emma realised, but somehow it didn’t make her heart twinge as much coming from her son.

“Who’s my dad?”

Regina’s eyes widened in surprise. Emma’s did too. Neither woman had been expecting Henry to ask that question although in hindsight they realised that was a foolish oversight on their part. And in the light of his altercation with Nick the previous day, his curiosity was only natural. Emma looked to Regina for confirmation and received a nod of consent.

“He was called Neal,” Emma said, “and he was very young too. He was only nineteen when we met. But he wasn’t around when you were born.”

“Is he looking for me?” Henry asked.

“He doesn’t know about you,” Emma admitted. “I didn’t even know I had you growing inside me until after I went to prison and then I couldn’t tell Neal about you because he had gone away. I tried to find him when I got out but I couldn’t. So no, he’s not looking for you.”

“But I do have a dad?”

“Yes,” Emma nodded. “Technically. Why?”

“So I can tell Nick he was wrong,” Henry said. “I can tell Nick on Monday that my dad is called Neal and he’s nineteen.”

“He was nineteen,” Emma corrected quickly. “He’ll be … almost twenty five now. You know you have his hair. It was always flopping around and never doing what he wanted it to do, just like yours. And he loved soccer too. I think that’s where you get it. But he didn’t like monkeys, funnily enough. He got bitten by one at a zoo when he was younger and he thought they were scary. His favourite animal was a leopard, although I daresay he’d be scared of them too if one bit him.”

Henry looked like he was concentrating, trying to remember all the information Emma was giving him about his father. Regina was watching as her son learned about where he came from. She had expected to feel uneasy hearing Emma talk about her former lover and Henry’s father but she didn’t. Instead, she was pleased to finally be able to give Henry some of the answers to questions he had been asking all his life. Sporadically, of course, but the questions about his birth parents had inevitably arisen. Now she, or Emma, could tell him anything he wanted to know. Regina knew she was his mother in every sense of the word but she also appreciated his curiosity about where he had come from. And, if she was honest, was curious herself too.

“Any other questions?” Emma asked after Henry had been quiet for a long time.

“Can we have pizza for lunch?”

Regina and Emma burst out laughing and Henry looked a little affronted.

“What?” he whined, unsure quite what he had said that had made his two mothers collapse with mirth on either side of him.

“Nothing, kid, sorry,” Emma chuckled. “It’s just that you are well and truly my son.”

* * *

The rain continued all day, much to Henry’s annoyance. After the discovery that his birth father had been a keen soccer player, he had wanted to go to the park and hone his own skills. But his mothers had refused and suggested instead that they watch a DVD before heading out to Granny’s diner in the evening. They had forgone their usual Friday afternoon there because Regina hadn’t been working and therefore had looked after Henry herself. Ruby had grumbled about missing her favourite surrogate nephew and when Emma heard this, she suggested they go down the following day and tell Regina’s best friend the news.

The diner was quiet; the steady rain having deterred most New Yorkers from venturing out of their homes. Henry raced up to Ruby and practically climbed up her leg when he saw her. She tickled his belly and blew raspberries on his neck and he giggled in delight.

“Do you want to head up to the apartment?” Ruby suggested. “It’s dead down here so I’m sure Granny can manage. Plus we can keep Dot company. She’s working on a Saturday, poor thing.”

After placing their order and Ruby promising to return to collect the dishes when they were ready, the four of them climbed the narrow staircase up to Ruby’s apartment. Emma realised she hadn’t been back there since the day she left, over seven months before. She marvelled briefly at how much her life had changed since that fateful night when she found herself back on the streets.

Dot was relieved to have an excuse to stop working and she shoved her papers aside just as Henry began to bounce all over the couch. Regina scolded him lightly but her heart wasn’t really in it. She loved seeing Henry happy.

“What’s gotten into him?” Ruby asked as she returned from making cups of tea.

“Emma’s my mommy!” Henry shouted from the couch, wobbling slightly as an extra large jump caught him off balance and he almost fell to the floor.

Dot’s arms wrapped tightly around his body and pulled him back before she turned and stared at Regina and Emma, mimicking her girlfriend. Ruby was standing stock-still, two mugs clasped in her hands.

First Regina, then Emma, took a cup and sipped their steaming drinks, thanking Ruby whose mouth was agape. Regina hid her smirk behind the rim of her tea. She had always enjoyed holding information back from her brunette friend. Ruby was one of the nosiest people she had ever met as well as being an infamous gossip.

“What?” Ruby asked after a long pause.

Henry, who had realised everyone else in the room had gone silent, took it upon himself to answer Ruby’s question.

“Emma’s the mommy I was born from,” he said simply. “And then Mama and Mommy Dani took me. But now Emma’s come back and she’s my mommy again.”

Instead of answering Ruby’s question, Henry’s simplistic explanation meant the brunette and her stunned girlfriend had even more. They glanced at each other and then back at the smirking couple before them.

“Explain,” Ruby said, sitting down abruptly besides Dot and allowing Henry to crawl into her lap. “Tell us exactly what is going on.”

It took little over ten minutes for the whole story to come out. From the way Emma had found herself pregnant and alone in prison to her decision to give up the baby. From the search for Emma’s long lost son by both women to Emma’s discovery that her son and Henry shared the same birthday. To the sudden realisation and the truth finally becoming obvious. Henry lost interest part way through the story and made his way over to the little toy chest his favourite aunt kept in the corner of her living room just for him. By the time Emma and Regina had finished explaining everything, Ruby and Dot were lost for words. Well, almost.

“What are the fucking chances?” Ruby exclaimed.

“Shhhh,” admonished Emma and Regina together, glancing at Henry and realising he wasn’t listening in the slightest and therefore wouldn’t have registered the curse word.

“And one in a million, probably,” Emma shrugged. “Less, in fact.”

“You’re one lucky son of a bitch,” Ruby breathed out.

Emma laughed. “Perhaps,” she said. “I like to think of it at fate. Anyway, I paid my dues, didn’t I? It’s about time something good happened to me for a change.”

Ruby and Dot nodded their agreement at that and seconds later they were up on their feet and embracing both women, offering their congratulations as well as their continued disbelief.

“Does Cora know?” Ruby asked.

“It may have come up on Monday after I lost my job,” Regina admitted. “I hadn’t meant to tell her the way I did though. I almost used it as a way to punish her for what she did to me. It was rather pathetic, to be honest.”

“Don’t say that,” Emma said, pressing a soft kiss to Regina’s cheek. “You told her because the discovery mattered to you and you hoped it would matter to her and make her realise what she could lose. It’s not your fault she hates me but to be honest I don’t care what she thinks of me so long as we’re together and a family.”

“Awwwww.”

Regina wrinkled her nose at the patronising noises from both Ruby and Dot but she couldn’t help but smile. Emma was right. It didn’t matter what had come before or how the universe had conspired to allow them to meet. All she cared about was their future together; Henry, Emma, and herself.

* * *

A soft moan spilled from her lips as questing fingers stroked down her bare stomach. She could feel goosebumps rising in their wake, her nerves practically trembling in anticipation. But Emma was in the mood to take her time, Regina could tell. So she only let out a little huff of frustration when Emma’s fingers teased across the top of her pubis bone and then began to trail down her left thigh, swirling patters etched onto her skin. Emma allowed her mouth to drop to the soft skin of Regina’s knee, nuzzling behind it as her fingers skated around her delicate ankle bone. The return journey was even more torturous, Emma’s mouth moving higher and higher and just when Regina thought she was going to be touched where she most desired it, the blonde switched, mirroring her movement on Regina’s other leg.

“Emma,” Regina whimpered as a hot tongue tickled the back of her knee.

“Mmmm?” came the muffled response.

“Please.”

Emma had not yet learnt to resist a begging Regina Mills and she doubted she ever would. Lying down carefully between the woman’s spread thighs, she found herself face to face with the brunette’s bare, glistening centre. Using her right hand, she parted the wet folds, exposing the tender nerve bundle nestled near the top. Regina’s hips bucked as cool air touched her but seconds later a hot mouth had enveloped it completely. Emma ran her tongue firmly over Regina’s clit before capturing it between her lips. Regina shuddered and moaned above her, fingers tangling in long blonde hair to anchor Emma’s mouth even closer.

She wanted to do this forever, Emma decided, as she lapped and sucked at Regina’s cunt. She wanted to please this woman, bring her pleasure, watch her crest in ecstasy for the rest of her life. She buried her face against Regina’s hot, wet skin, the intoxicating scent filling her nose and mouth and making her own clit twitch with arousal. She ignored it as best she could. This was Regina’s time.

Circling the tip of a finger around Regina’s entrance, Emma pushed slowly inside. She knew Regina was more than ready for her but she wanted to be tender anyway. The digit slipped in and out easily and soon she added a second and, at Regina’s request, a third. Her wrist twisted as she pumped, ensuring her fingers reached the deepest, darkest spot inside the woman who was now hurtling towards her orgasm. Her free hand reached blindly up to cup Regina’s breasts, tweaking each nipple in turn and squeezing the generous mounds. Her tongue was working furiously, twirling around Regina’s clit before sucking it softly into her mouth.

When Regina came it was with Emma’s name on her lips and her back arching off the bed, fingernails digging into the blonde's scalp and the walls of her channel clamping so hard Emma couldn’t move her fingers still buried deep within her. Her thighs quivered and beads of sweat slid from her forehead. She whimpered in delight as Emma’s mouth resumed seconds later, the delicate little laps drawing a second, smaller orgasm from her exhausted body. When she collapsed back onto the bed and her inner walls finally released Emma’s fingers, the blonde reluctantly pulled away from her girlfriend’s sex. She licked her hand clean and then wiped her face before crawling up the exhausted woman’s body and laying on top of her, their breasts pressed erotically together.

“Gimme a minute,” Regina panted.

“No problem,” Emma murmured, kissing the parted lips gently. “I’ll wait forever for you.”

Regina smiled sleepily but knew her girlfriend wanted her release. She could feel the heat and dampness from between Emma’s thighs radiating against the top of her own. She bent her knee and pushed Emma’s shoulders lightly.

“Move back,” she said.

“What?” Emma frowned, unaware of what her girlfriend had done with her leg. “Oh.”

Her sensitive clit connected with the smooth skin of Regina’s thigh. Tentatively she slid herself back and forwards. Eyebrows rose. She had never done this before. She looked down at Regina who was wearing a knowing smirk. Emma grinned back and rocked once more, the slickness of her own arousal covering the strong thigh and allowing her to slide easily. She set up a steady rhythm, grinding hard on Regina’s thigh so her clit was pressed firmly into her girlfriend’s skin.

“Wow,” she panted, her body already fluttering with the tell-tale signs of an orgasm.

Regina grinned and gripped Emma’s hips, helping the blonde to keep a steady pace. Emma buckled, her mouth dropping to Regina’s chest and sucking at taut nipple. She rolled her tongue around it as she rocked harder and harder, faster and faster.

“Fuck!” she cried, stilling her movement and pushing her sex hard against Regina wet thigh as her climax crested.

Regina’s hands stilled on her hips, holding Emma close as the blonde’s body twitched and shuddered above her. When she finally collapsed back onto Regina’s chest, Emma was panting heavily and unable to move. Regina didn’t mind. She slid her hands up Emma’s sides and wrapped her arms around the blonde, holding her close.

“I’m squashing you,” came a muffled voice.

“No you’re not,” Regina assured, her grip tightening as she felt Emma trying to move off her.

“Yes, I am,” Emma said.

“Then I like being squashed. At least, by you,” Regina reasoned.

She felt Emma chuckle against her chest and a blissful happiness settled over the two of them. They lay like that for a long time, lost in thought about everything that had happened during their relationship which had led them to this point. It had certainly been a roller coaster of a ride, Regina thought. But, she mused when Emma finally got off her and they both got dressed, she wouldn’t change a second of it. Because everything which had happened, good and bad, had led them to where they were right that second. And that was exactly where she wanted to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: awwwww. How cute. And also, there are only two chapters left. Sorry!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: the penultimate chapter, guys!

September rolled blissfully by. Regina hadn’t realised how much she had needed a proper break from work until she found herself curled up on the couch with a book and a cup of tea every afternoon. She had been either in education or working solidly for most of her life and the interlude after Dani’s death could hardly have been considered relaxing. Now however, years of tension and stress were seeping out of her body and she felt and looked better as a result. Her skin was clearer, her hair shinier, and thanks to her surplus free time, she had started up regular gym sessions again. Emma’s fingers and mouth worshipped her newly defined abdominal muscles most nights.

Her week days were quiet and serene, her hours wiled away either in the penthouse or wandering around the city. She had visited most of the art galleries, spent hours digging through second-hand book shops, and even battled through the autumn sales to purchase Henry’s birthday gifts. The apartment, meanwhile, was spotless. Her closet had been decluttered, her kitchen utensils and equipment had been sorted through, her desk in her study had been revarnished, and every book on her shelves carefully wiped of their dust and replaced in alphabetical order.

“You’re bored,” Emma had observed one evening when she had arrived home to find Regina categorising their DVDs by genre.

But Regina wasn’t bored. She was finally doing all those little jobs which had been on her to-do list for months, years even. She relished the order which was coming to her home and felt an immense sense of satisfaction when she had completed each task. But nothing could compare to joy she got from the amount of time she spent with her son.

By the end of the month, their walk to school involved clouds of orange, red, and yellow leaves being kicked into the air, showering the little family in an autumnal mulch. Henry held each woman’s hand and chatted happily as they strolled along, leaves crunching underfoot and a distinct chill in the air nipping at his pinked cheeks. Although she was at home, Regina had decided to keep Henry at Zelena’s for a few hours each afternoon. The problem with Nick comments about Henry’s multiple mothers had been resolved quickly and Regina thought it was best to keep him in his routine. Pulling him out for a month only to return him to their previous arrangement would just create confusion. But she collected him at four every afternoon, always on time and always with widespread arms which Henry would charge into. She would never tire of that joyful greeting.

And every evening she greeted Emma with a glass of wine as she walked through the door, tired but happy after her work, and they sat down together and discussed their days. Emma would regale Regina with stories about the children at the youth centre and Regina discussed a particularly interesting art exhibit she had seen or her inexplicable discovery of one of Henry’s old t-shirt in a kitchen cupboard. Her new routine was, Regina decided, perfect.

In the absence of a job, Regina had also been free to extensively plan Henry’s upcoming birthday party. She had wanted to organise a small celebration for him but since she had so much time on her hands, the event had somehow snowballed.

“Does he really need a clown and a magician?” Emma had asked. “Aren’t they basically the same?”

Regina had spent hours pouring over catalogues and online site piecing together the perfect party for her little prince. He was going to be five years old which in itself seemed like a significant number but that wasn’t the reason Regina wanted to make the day extra special. No, she wanted his birthday to be the best yet for one simple reason. Emma.

The blonde, on more than one occasion, had expressed regret about how much of Henry’s life she had missed and Regina was determined to ensure his fifth birthday party was one none of them would forget for all the right reasons. Once she had been assured Emma wasn’t getting their son a monkey for a pet, she had acquiesced and agreed to allow the blonde buy her present without telling Regina what it was.

“I’m trusting you,” Regina had warned. “Don’t do something stupid.”

But she knew Emma wouldn’t buy anything irresponsible. The blonde had always been amazing with Henry but since the moment she had found out who the little boy really was, she had become even more motherly and protective. With his hand clasped in hers, she would look both ways umpteen times before crossing the street. Henry was bundled up in his coat and hat the moment the weather turned chilly, despite Regina’s assurances that he would have been fine in a sweater. And for some unknown reason the young woman had taken it upon herself on one Saturday afternoon to pin all the wires in Henry’s room against the wall.

“You never know,” Emma had said as she hammered in the hook which would hold the cable to his bedside lamp flush against the skirting board.

“We do know though,” Regina had said, a teasing smirk on her lips. “He’s managed to navigate the jumble of electrical wiring I’ve carelessly left criss-crossing his room for the past five years. What makes you think he’s either going to gnaw through them like a mouse or begin tripping over them now?”

Emma had pouted from the floor, hands resting on her thighs.

“Are you making fun of me?” she had asked.

“Yes,” Regina had laughed. “Emma, I love you and you’re completely adorable in the way you care so much about Henry’s safety. But don’t you think your time would be spent better supervising him where I left him alone in the kitchen with all the knives rather than in here with me doing a pointless task?”

Emma had sprinted out of the room at once and when Regina appeared chortling in the kitchen a few minutes later, she saw the blonde sat beside Henry (who was quietly colouring in a picture of a train) and scowling heavily.

“Sweetheart, I’ve kept him alive for five years so far. I promise you he’s perfectly safe here.”

The soft kisses which landed against pursed lips were met with resistance until Regina’s fingers curled around Emma’s neck, her thumb teasing the earlobe and making the blonde sigh in contentment.

“Mommys,” Henry had grumbled when he looked up to see Regina leaning over Emma, their mouths fused.

They broke apart with a laugh, a sheepish look on Emma’s face.

She had never loved anyone quite like she loved Henry before. That fierce, relentless, all-consuming love. It filled her up. It spilled out of her in every move she made. Everything changed the moment she found out who Henry really was and she was still adjusting. It was scary, she decided, how powerful her feelings towards the boy way. But a good scary. She had found her son and was determined to make sure the rest of his life was as perfect as it could be. Starting, of course, with his fifth birthday.

Regina had permitted her to buy Henry a present in secret which had been a win, she had thought. And then it turned out she didn’t have a clue what to get him. The monkey had been a joke, of course. But the truth of the matter was Emma couldn’t think of anything the boy would like which would even come close to the excitement of getting a real monkey. And she couldn’t very well discuss ideas with Regina after having argued for her right to buy something on her own.

She was nervous, therefore, when her cell phone vibrated beneath her pillow at three thirty in the morning on 30th September. Checking the muffled noise hadn’t woken Regina, she slipped quietly from their bed and crept out of the room and into the corridor. It had taken her a long time to work out where to hide the present once she had decided on it and she now carefully opened the closet in the hallway and pushed the winter coats out of the way. Once she could see it, she pulled it out and smiled at the gift, a large blue bow already in place. Manoeuvring it into the living room, she then spent the next ten minutes arranging it propped against various pieces of furniture. Satisfied at last, she returned to bed and wrapped her chilled arms around Regina’s warm frame.

It was little over two hours later when Henry came barrelling into their room, scrambled up onto the bed and started jumping up and down. Emma groaned as a little foot connected with her stomach and Regina rolled out of the way just in time to avoid the same fate.

“I”m five! I’m five! I’m five!” Henry chanted, punching the air as he jumped and practically hyperventilating with excitement.

“Happy birthday my little darling,” Regina said, grabbing the excitable child around the waist and wrestling him into her arms.

Emma immediately joined in the cuddle, tickling Henry’s sides as she too wished him a happy birthday.

“Presents!” Henry shouted, wriggling backwards out of their grasp and resuming his bouncing.

“Who says you have any presents?” Regina asked, eyebrow raised.

Henry just ignored her, used to his mother’s teasing by now.

“Presents! Presents! Presents!”

Emma laughed. She had no doubt she would have been the same way when she was five. That was, if there had been a family who cared enough to actually remember her birthday.

“Why don’t you go and see what’s over there,” Regina said, pointing to the window where the curtain was pulled awkwardly outwards, hiding a frankly colossal pile of presents.

Henry slid from the bed at once and trotted over. In his absence, Emma leaned over and placed a chaste kiss to Regina’s lips, murmuring good morning before they both turned their attention to Henry who had tugged the curtain aside and was busy deciding which present to open first.

An hour later and the bedroom was strewn with wrapping paper. Presents were stacked up all around Henry, Emma and Regina, all three of whom were sat cross legged on the floor.

“Wow! Thanks!” Henry exclaimed as he unwrapped a monkey themed board game.

Emma marvelled at how a child so clearly spoilt could also be so polite, respectful, and appreciative. Far from being an entitled brat, Henry was everything any parent would ever want their child to be. Modest, kind, considerate. She glowed with pride as Henry wrapped his arms first around Regina’s neck and then her own, thanking them both sincerely for everything he had been given. The presents behind the curtain had been from both of them, a combination of each women’s ideas and various shopping expeditions, together and separately. Emma had insisted on contributing fifty per cent of the money and Regina hadn’t protested.

“There’s one more thing for you to unwrap actually Henry,” Regina said gently before the boy got too immersed in one of the many books he had been gifted about monkeys.

“Where?” Henry asked, looking around the room.

Emma got to her feet and held out her hand in silence. Henry took it and clambered to his feet too, following Emma eagerly from the room. Regina was steps behind them, equally intrigued to know what the blonde had bought for their son. They entered the still dark living room together and Emma flicked on the light. Henry let out a squeal of excitement and rushed across the room. Emma bit her lip, waiting.

“It’s mine?” he asked, his fingertips gliding up and down the metallic blue handlebars of the bicycle.

“It’s yours,” Emma nodded. “Happy birthday, kid.”

Regina’s arm slid around Emma’s waist and her lips pressed gently to the blonde’s neck. “You’re amazing,” she murmured before resting her head on Emma’s shoulder and watching as Henry walked carefully around his new favourite thing in the world.

“Can we go to the park now?” he asked excitedly, the gleaming silver helmet clasped in his hands.

“It’s still dark outside,” Emma laughed. “How about we have a special birthday breakfast and then head there afterwards.”

Henry grinned and raced across the room, barrelling into Emma’s legs and hugging them tightly.

“Thanks, Mommy,” he mumbled against her thighs.

“You’re welcome, baby,” Emma said, tears stinging her eyes and her hand ruffling Henry’s hair.

* * *

It took ten minutes to get Henry ready to climb onto his bike once they were in the park. It was still early and the paths which criss crossed the green space were mercifully quiet. Henry waited patiently as Emma adjusted his helmet. Regina rolled her eyes when Emma pulled out knee pads and began fastening them to Henry’s legs. The wrist protectors came next. Regina tutted in amusement. When the elbow pads came out, she spoke up.

“What do you think is going to happen?” she asked. “The bike has stabilisers, honey. There’s no way he’s coming off that thing and if he does, what are the chances he lands on an elbow?”

“I don’t know and nor do I care,” Emma replied. “I want him to be safe.”

Regina had said nothing more. If Emma wanted to wrap their son up to keep him safe for his first time on a bicycle, who was she to stand in her way. She also didn’t mention that once Henry was equipped, the poor boy could barely walk, let along sit comfortably in the new saddle.

The two women took it in turns to jog alongside Henry on his new bicycle. The stabilisers trundled over the smooth paths and within a few minutes the boy had gained confidence and learnt how to move beneath his protective armour. His little face scrunched in concentration as he mastered the steering and braking, and before long he was speeding ahead, either Emma or Regina puffing slightly as they tried to keep up.

“Can we take the stabilisers off now?” Henry asked after only an hour.

“Let’s wait a few weeks,” Emma suggested. “I think you need a little more practice of balancing before we do that.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

“You just had breakfast,” Regina laughed.

Henry shrugged and began trying to remove his safety gear. Emma helped him and soon they were all walking towards a lone ice cream van because whatever their birthday boy wanted, the birthday boy got.

* * *

Mal had assured Emma when she left work the night before that everything would be finished by the time they arrived. The young woman had been reluctant to leave at nine thirty the previous evening because the decorations at the youth centre were still not up.

“Go home to your family,” Mal had insisted, one end of a paper chain in her hand. “I promise you Ursula and I have this under control.”

And they did. Emma and Regina both gasped when they stepped through the doorway into Dragon Youth Centre that afternoon. The place had been transformed. Streamers and decorations hung from the ceiling, bunches of balloons adorned the walls and the table in the corner was covered in a colourful, monkey themed (naturally) table cloth.

“Wow!” Henry exclaimed, rushing towards the giant inflatable monkey.

“Oh God she bought it,” Emma laughed.

Mal had found the six foot monstrosity online and tried to persuade Emma it was a party essential. Although the young blonde had refused, it seemed her boss had gone ahead and ordered it anyway.

“Is that a grown up five year old I hear?”

Mal emerged from the rear of the centre, a wide smile on her face and monkey ears attached to her head band.

“Auntie Mal!” Henry said, trotting towards her and giving her a hug.

Emma wasn’t quite sure when her boss had been added to the boy’s growing contingent of aunties but she was rather pleased, and it seemed Mal was too.

Before long people began to arrive. The entirety of Henry’s nursery class had been invited and soon the place was filled with children. Ruby, Dot, and Kathryn stood against the wall, looking a little overwhelmed by the sheer quantity and noise. Even Mal and Ursula, who had appeared briefly to say happy birthday, looked slightly alarmed at the number of small children in the centre. Zelena, however, was in her element, sitting on the floor as soon as she arrived and starting up a game of pass the parcel. Cora’s absence was noted but not mentioned, not even by Henry. Regina and Emma moved through the group, making sure all of the children were having a good time and collecting the presents which had been brought for Henry.

It was a relief for all of them when the magician arrived and the children’s attention was captivated for almost an hour. Once every child had a balloon animal and Henry had been proclaimed his best assistant ever and presented with a large top hat, his own magic wand, and a deck of magical cards, it was time to eat.

Regina had insisted on some healthy food but was disappointed to see that the bowls of carrot sticks, cucumber, capsicum, and tubs of hummus had gone largely untouched.

“They’re five,” Emma pointed out to her pouting girlfriend, handing her a slice of pizza instead.

By the time the monkey-shaped cake had been cut and distributed, Henry was on such a sugar high that Regina doubted he would ever sleep again. His top hat was askew and there was frosting on his cheek but the brunette didn’t think she had ever seen him happier. Eventually the children’s parents arrived to collect them and the group diminished until it was just the couple, their friends, and Henry. As the last child left, a party bag clutched in sticky hands, Emma and Regina sagged with relief and looked around. The place was a mess; wrapping paper carpeted the room, the table still had the remnants of the food on it, spilt drinks were congealing already on every surface, and deflated balloons hung sadly from their strings.

“Oh God!” Emma said, running her fingers through her frazzled hair.

But with the help of their friends and, to some extent, Henry the youth centre looked as good as new soon enough. Regina and Emma hugged each of the women goodbye in the street before they all went their separate ways. By the time they pulled up outside the penthouse, Henry was fast asleep. Emma carried him inside and they carefully undressed him before laying him in clean pyjamas into his bed.

“Goodnight Henry,” Emma whispered, placing a kiss to his forehead. “Happy birthday.”

“Happy birthday, our little prince,” Regina said, her lips falling to the exact same spot seconds later.

* * *

That night, curled up in each other’s arms, Emma trailed strands of Regina’s hair through her fingers as she spoke.

“Thank you,” she sighed.

“For the mind blowing orgasm or something else?” came the sleepy reply.

Emma chuckled. “That too but I meant for today.”

“You were as much a part of the party’s success as I was,” Regina pointed out. “So thank you.”

“No,” Emma said. “I mean, thank you for letting me be a part of Henry’s life.”

“Of course,” Regina said, turning her head towards Emma and kissing her sleepily. “You’ll always be a part of Henry’s life, Emma. And my life, I hope. I know the last month has been a little crazy but things will settle down. This time next year we’ll be finishing up his sixth birthday party and everything that we’ve been through will be a distant memory”

“I hope so,” Emma sighed.

“I know so,” Regina assured her. “Now let’s go to sleep and let me enjoy my last day of freedom well-rested before I start my new job.”

Emma wrinkled her nose at that. She was going to miss spending her mornings with Regina and the two of them walking Henry to school. But at least, she mused as the brunette tucked her face into the crook of her neck, she’d have their evenings together to look forward to. There was nothing better than drifting off to sleep in the arms of the woman she loved.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this is it. It’s been an emotional journey and I’m so glad so many of you came along for the ride. I’ve loved writing this fic and I really hope you’ve enjoyed reading it too. Keep an eye out for my next Missed Swan Queen Moments Season 5. And I’ve also already got a fantastic idea from a reader for my next AU fic which should be up … before Season 6. As will all the 100th etc prompts (sorry!)
> 
> Also, there’s a time jump between chapter 39 and this one because I don’t want to do an epilogue for this story and I think this tidies it up nicely. Oh and it’s NSFW.

Snow crunched underfoot as she trudged up the sidewalk, head bowed against the oncoming wind which carried fluttering snowflakes to settle on the ground. She slipped, her hand shooting out to steady herself on the brick wall of the building she was passing, heartbeat racing. Taking a deep breath, she resumed her steps. It was a relief to reach the covered entranceway and stamp the white clumps from her boots before entering the elevator.

“I told you to let Graham drive you,” Regina remarked as she watched Emma warming her hands by hovering them above the stove top.

“The roads are lethal,” Emma said, her teeth still chattering. “I’d rather just walk.”

Regina shook her head in disbelief and continued plating up their dinner. It was a Friday night in early January, and unbeknownst to the still freezing blonde, a special occasion. Regina’s previous arrangement at her mother’s law firm of her leaving early for the weekend had continued at West and Merlin and she had been cooking and preparing their meal for most of the evening.

“What’s this?” Emma asked when she sat down to her favourite dinner and a bottle of what looked like very expensive wine, even by Regina’s standards.

She realised as she spoke that the cold must have frozen her sense of smell for her not to have noticed her girlfriend had cooked her famous lasagne. Usually she was able to detect the unique blend of spices from the corridor outside the penthouse but she hadn’t even registered them. Her mouth began to water.

“I just wanted to do something special for you today,” Regina said, pouring Emma a glass of red wine as she spoke.

“Why?” Emma asked, fidgeting beneath the table to stop her hands reaching for the cutlery and spearing a piece of lasagne before Regina had even sat down.

“Do you know what day it is?” Regina asked, sliding into her seat and raising her glass to Emma in cheers.

“Friday,” Emma said as the rims of their glasses clinked together. “Thank goodness. I don’t think I have the energy to work another day in a row.”

The Youth Centre had expanded so much that Emma was now working from midday until eight every night. She still loved her work and the additional wages were great but by the end of the week she was always exhausted.

“It is Friday,” Regina nodded. “Anything else about the day?”

“Ummm,” Emma said, swirling her wine around her glass. “Nope?”

Regina smiled softly. She hadn’t expected Emma to remember. After all, at the time the woman didn’t even have the means to know what day it was, let alone remember the date a year later.

“It’s the anniversary of the day we met,” Regina said.

Emma’s eyes widened. She hadn’t been expecting that. A year. A whole year had passed since that cold January afternoon when she had first set eyes on the beautiful brunette. And her son. Their son. Her life had changed beyond recognition over the twelve months since Henry had handed her those dollar bills and she struggled now even to imagine herself in that scenario. It seemed an entire lifetime ago that she had lived on the streets, calling a tunnel home and begging to buy food.

“Wow,” Emma breathed out. “A year.”

Regina nodded. “And I know it’s not our official anniversary or anything,” the panic on Emma’s face told the brunette that her girlfriend had no idea when that was either, “but I thought it was worth acknowledging.”

“Um, yeah. I suppose,” Emma said, looking down at her plate.

Regina’s heart was suddenly in her mouth. “Shit, Ems, I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “Should I not have mentioned it? I had thought it might be a little insensitive to bring it up. Damn, I’m really sorry, honey. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t,” Emma assured her quickly, reaching out and grasping Regina’s hand. “You didn’t. I promise. It’s just … a surprise, I suppose. I hadn't thought about that time of my life for a while and suddenly I was back there.”

“Where?” Regina asked, gesturing for Emma to begin eating, which she did with relish despite what they were talking about.

“I’m not sure,” Emma admitted after she swallowed her first mouthful. “I don’t think I can even imagine now how my life was back then. I mean, look at all the fuss I just made about walking two blocks from the subway in the snow with a coat which cost close to a thousand bucks, leather gloves and a woollen hat. How on earth did I survive out there?”

Regina shook her head in wonder. “I’ve always wanted to know, to be honest,” she said. “I just never wanted to ask.”

Emma shrugged. “Blankets. Layers. And the tunnel was protected from the worst of the wind. Plus with August there we at least could share body heat.”

Regina bristled slightly and began to hack a little more rigorously at her lasagne. Emma noticed and reached across again to still the movement.

“Not like that,” she assured Regina quietly. “August and I were never more than friends. And if we had been, don’t you think I would have told you before I introduced you?”

August and Regina had met shortly after Henry’s birthday. Sober, employed, and no longer homeless, August was doing almost as well as Emma and the blonde had decided that two of the most important people in her life should spend some time together. It wasn’t often; a coffee here, a playdate in the park with Henry there. Emma met him far more regularly, however, and she was enjoying having him back in her life. She hadn’t realised how much she had missed his friendship.

“Sorry,” Regina said, shaking her head and trying to get rid of the images her mind had conjured. “I know nothing happened but your time on the street … well …”

She trailed off and looked guiltily up at the blonde. They tried not to speak too much about what Emma had been through. The younger woman was coping amazingly well with the trauma and had spoken to her parole officer about it, she and Tina Bell having grown close. And Regina had booked in for a few therapy sessions before Christmas, some lingering thoughts niggling away neither she nor Emma had been able to calm. The therapist had worked wonders but there were still times when her mind wandered to what had happened to Emma.

“It will always be a part of my past,” Emma said simply. “I will always have been homeless. I sold my body to survive. And I was raped. I can’t change any of that but what I can do is move on from those events. I don’t let them define me, Regina. And I don’t think you do either, do you?”

“No, not at all,” Regina rushed. “I don’t, honey. Not at all.”

“Good,” Emma smiled. “Because I’m so much more than that.”

Regina laughed at the twinkle in her girlfriend’s eyes. She had always marvelled at Emma’s ability to change a conversation so completely and was immensely grateful. She hadn’t wanted to mark the occasion solemnly. Quite the opposite, in fact. It was a celebration, an acknowledgement of how the kind, considerate act of a young boy had changed their lives in the best possible way.

“Oh, I meant to tell you,” Regina said, “Mary Margaret told me something rather interesting about my mother today.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. Cora was rarely mentioned in their house and, to be honest, she was glad about that. She hated the woman for what she did to Regina but was also oddly grateful. The brunette had been far happier since she had been working for West and Merlin and her hours had reduced too. Although Emma initially thought it was a shame how Regina’s relationship with her mother had been irreparably damaged, she had come to the conclusion that it hadn’t ever been a healthy, loving one, not like theirs with Henry. In fact, she thought Regina’s life had gotten decidedly better since she left her mother’s legal firm.

“What’s she up to now?”

“She’s getting remarried,” Regina said. “Mary Margaret is still in touch with a few of the other assistants there and apparently she and Gold announced today that they’re tying the knot.”

“Jesus,” Emma breathed out. “That’s a formidable power couple.”

Regina nodded. “Yep. But weird, frankly. I mean … yeah, it’s just weird.” She wrinkled her nose at the thought of the impish little lawyer and her mother together.

“Agreed,” Emma laughed. “So, do you reckon you’ll be invited to the wedding?”

“Doubtful,” Regina said. “We’re not inviting her to ours, are we?”

Emma shook her head and glanced down at the engagement ring on her finger. The diamond which Regina had presented her with on Christmas Eve glinted back at her. She smiled at the sight, the familiar feeling of contentment and love filling her up, as it did every time she remembered that Regina Mills had asked her to marry her. Their June wedding couldn’t come soon enough. Regina’s voice interrupted Emma’s momentary daydream of the brunette in a satin dress.

“And even if I was invited I wouldn’t go. I’d feel like I was betraying Father somehow. He hated Gold so this is just insulting him memory, frankly.”

Emma reached across the table and gripped Regina’s hand softly in her own. “I wish I could have met your father,” she said. “I’d have liked to thank him for raising such a wonderful daughter.”

“He’d have liked you,” Regina said, wiping a tear from her eye. “I wish you could have met too. I wish he had met Henry, come to that. I like to think he’s looking down on us. I know it’s silly really since I’m not remotely religious but it’s comforting somehow, the thought that he and Dani are both watching over us.”

“I’m sure they are,” Emma said, raising Regina’s hand to her lips and kissing the back of her hand gently. Regina’s own ring caught the light as she did so, the flashes dancing off the walls.

The rest of the meal centred on happier topics, both women reminiscing about their time together and their favourite memories of the past year. Regina decided the time she had returned home to find Henry and Emma covered from head to toe in cake mix, and icing somehow, inexplicably, on the ceiling was one of her best. Emma meanwhile recounted the pure happiness and pride she had felt when Henry cycled those first few metres in the park unaided just before Christmas.

“Yes but then he fell off and cried for over an hour,” Regina reminded her.

“Good point,” Emma said, her lips becoming a thin line as she remembered her son’s pain.

“And he’s fine now,” Regina added quickly, seeing the sadness on Emma’s face. “We can’t protect him from everything, dear. He’s going to get hurt every now and then along the way as he grows up. It’s our job to be there for him when things go wrong.”

“There was no-one there for me,” Emma mused. “I don’t know if I’m doing it right, to be honest.”

Regina smiled sympathetically. “Nobody knows,” she said. “No parent knows if they’re doing the right thing. We’re all just muddling along as best we can, lurching from one day to the next and trying to give our kids everything they need. And I think you’re a fantastic mom to Henry. You’re always watching out for his safety. You spend as much time with him as you can. You listen to him even when he drones on and on about monkeys for hours on end. Your love for him is unlimited, Emma, and that’s really everything a kid can ask for.”

* * *

Love. Unparalleled, never-ending, complicated, beautiful love. That’s what the small family shared and that was what both women felt when they made their way into the bedroom later that night. Almost a year into their relationship and their sex life was still active and exciting.

Regina let out a giggle as she landed on the bed, Emma straddling her waist as lips sucked at her neck. She reached up above her, hands grasping at the iron headboard and pulled herself towards the pillows. Emma looked reproachful as the skin she had been feasting on slid away from her but she quickly got distracted as Regina’s torso was replaced by her hips. The dark skinny jeans were unbuttoned and the tight material wrestled down long, toned legs. Standing at the end of the bed, Emma removed her own jeans before climbing back up to hover over Regina again.

“I love you,” she said, bending down to kiss Regina’s slightly swollen lips.

“I know,” Regina smiled.

“I know you know but I wanted to tell you anyway,” Emma shrugged.

Regina rolled her eyes at her pedantic girlfriend and pulled Emma down so their bodies were pressed hotly together. They kissed slowly, taking their time to explore the mouths they both knew so well. Emma pulled Regina’s lower lip between her own, nibbling it lightly and relishing the moan she heard at the action. The hands stroking up and down her back sent delightful tingles to her core, with no thought to the scars which marred her back. They didn’t bother Regina and therefore Emma didn’t think about them much either.

Soon Regina rolled Emma over, trailing blazing kisses down the blonde’s neck and suckling on her collarbone. Emma allowed the brunette to take over for a while, knowing she’d get her chance later. The tip of Regina’s tongue traced the delicate line of her bone, tasting her skin and making Emma squeeze her thighs together in anticipation. Regina took her time, however, and slowly pushed the fabric of Emma’s tank top up and dropping kisses to her abdomen as more and more of it was exposed.

“I love this,” Regina murmured, her breath hot on Emma’s skin.

“What?” Emma asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

Regina pulled her mouth away and pointed to the side of Emma’s stomach. The blonde craned her neck and saw that the brunette had found one of her faint stretch marks. There were very few visible on her alabaster skin, evidence that she had carried a child, but Regina liked to search for them anyway. She loved knowing Henry really had grown inside Emma. She kissed it again and smiled up at the young woman.

“This is one of my favourite parts of you,” she said quietly.

“Oh yeah?” Emma said, her tone teasing. “What are your other favourite parts, Ms Mills?”

Regina pushed Emma’s tank top further up and the blonde pulled it impatiently over her head as deft fingers were already unclasping her bra.

“Right here,” Regina said, her tongue trailing the underside of Emma’s breast before nipping it lightly.

Emma shuddered in delight as a hand cupped her other breast, palming it firmly before sliding down towards the one remaining piece of clothing she was still wearing. The underwear was discarded in seconds. Regina climbed off Emma and nudged the blonde’s hip, encouraging her to roll onto her stomach. She did so, wiggling her ass as she got situated. Regina laughed and slapped it lightly.

“And here,” she said, a fingertip trailing each of the dimples at the bottom of the blonde’s spine. She had always found them adorable and was secretly glad the scars ended far above them.

Emma arched her back slightly, making the dips more pronounced and smirking to herself as Regina straddled her legs and dropped two kisses to her back. She could feel Regina’s sex hovering just above her calves, heat and dampness radiating from it. She wanted desperately to turn over and thrust her fingers deep into her girlfriend but she didn’t. Instead, she lay there and allowed Regina’s mouth to kiss and lick her back as hands squeezing her ass. She didn’t have to wait long however as Regina was growing increasingly aroused.

With a final nip to Emma’s left ass cheek, she raised herself up so Emma could wriggle around beneath her. As soon as the blonde was smiling up at her, Regina lent down for a passionate kiss. She moaned as she tasted Emma’s tongue, the young woman kissing her back just as intensely. Regina’s cry was muffled by Emma’s mouth when two fingers pushed suddenly into her core. She moaned in delight and her body bucked into the abrupt but welcome intrusion and she pushed herself back, riding Emma’s thrusting fingers quickly and desperately. Emma’s thumb pressed against her clit, circling the tight bundle of nerves in a way that made Regina shudder in ecstasy. She came quickly, her orgasm hitting her hard as she gasped into Emma’s mouth.

“You ok?” Emma asked as her girlfriend laid her sweaty forehead against Emma’s shoulder, breathing heavily.

“Gimme a minute,” she panted, her legs shaking slightly with the effort of kneeling over Emma.

The blonde chuckled and rolled the two of them over, nestling her head against a pillow beside Regina’s and watching her spent girlfriend recover from her pleasure. She loved seeing Regina like that; in a way no one else got to experience. Regina was many things to many people. To Henry she was a loving, doting mother. To Ruby and Kathryn she was a fiercely loyal and dependable friend. To her colleagues she was an intelligent, capable lawyer. But to Emma, Regina was something so unique and special that she didn’t think there were enough words to describe it. What they shared together, Emma doubted many people were ever lucky enough to experience. Pure, true love. And although that love expressed itself in a myriad of ways, one of Emma’s favourites was the raw, lustful, passionate and deeply sexy aftermath of their lovemaking. Regina was vulnerable, trusting, and utterly, utterly beautiful as she lay in post-orgasmic bliss.

“What are you thinking?” Regina asked, her eyes darting over Emma’s contemplative face.

“How much I love you,” Emma replied. “And how I can’t wait to be married to you.”

Regina smiled widely. “Me too.”

“Did you ever think this would happen?” Emma asked. “That day when we first met a year ago, did you think this is how we would end up?”

“No,” Regina chuckled. “Shockingly I didn’t see you sitting on the street and think ‘oh, I’m going to be engaged to her this time next year’. But that was before I got to know you. It didn’t take me long to realise you were special, Emma. And I knew that you were someone I wanted in my life for a very, very long time.”

“Even when you found out about … Killian?” Emma asked, nervously.

Regina’s hand reached up to cup Emma’s cheek.

“Even then,” she said softly. “The past is in the past, Emma. What happened before we met never bothered me, you know that. And now we’re engaged we need to move on from what’s gone before and focus on our future together.”

“And what do you see there?” Emma asked.

Regina rolled on top of Emma, their naked bodies pressed hotly together.

“I see us,” she said simply. “You, me, and Henry. A family. We might not be the most conventional and the way we came together is certainly unusual but none of that matters. We love each other and we will always be there for one another. And that’s what family is.”

Emma’s eyes sparkled in the dim bedroom light and she blinked away her tears.

“I’ve never had a family before,” Emma whispered.

“Well you have one now,” Regina said, kissing the blonde tenderly. “And you’ll never be alone again.”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: thoughts?


End file.
